ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod -16th November, 2025

Episode Date: November 15, 2025

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Producer Carwen experienced some unique medical small talk...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the Zedium Podcast Network, it's Fletchpawn and Haley's Little Bit of Pod. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. Now, producer Carwin, we welcome to The Little Bit of Pod. I love having you here. Now, you experienced a bit of a chatty-cathy recently. Yes. At a odd place. Yeah, so PSA to all our lovely women, female listeners, people with vaginas.

Those who celebrate. Yep, those who celebrate vaginas as well. I celebrate vaginas. Yeah, I know you do. I celebrate vaginas. Sorry, guys. Sorry, guys. Sorry, everybody.

I almost feel like we should blake that out. Sorry, everybody. It's disgusting. Sorry, guys. Bye. I'll see myself. Bye. Bye.

Well, PSA to all of those lovely listeners, get a smear. Yes. And don't be like me and get the reminder text on your birthday and go, I'm not dealing with that today. And then forget for another five months. No, no, no. I do this with the dentist. But also, you know my details. Don't text me on my birthday.

You can't get a smear at the dentist's fledge. I've asked. I'm like, I'm here. I'm here, you know, the hygienist. Odd because my one does. Really? Yeah. Really.

Saying they go one at one at one end, one at the other. Yeah. They get it done all at the same time. Uh-huh. Weirdly, they just use the same thing to hold my mouth open as to hold my, um. Yeah, they, the speculum. The speculum, yeah. Anyway, so I was doing my doggility, do d'illity, whatever.

I'm tired. Guys, I'm tired. I was doing that and I got my smear. And the nurse specialist, that's what she's called nurse specialist, not just a nurse. She was down there and just goes into... She was downtown. Taking my smear downtown. Taking a swab and swivel it round and round and round. Cervical smear.

Anyway, she was downtown. And she just goes into this whole conversation about motorways. and the entire time she was down there start to end motorway chat. Wait, how long does one... Motorway's in a pap smear. How long does one take? It depends, I guess, on how...

Okay, yeah. Not how long it takes to get in and out and all that. Right. But mine wasn't that long. But like the moment that I lay down on the bed to the moment I left the building, essentially, she was talking to me about motorways. What was her hot take on motorways that she couldn't hold in?

So my doctor is, we're in a suburb I used to live in, and very far away from my house now. And so she was like, you don't live around here. And I was like, no, shit, do you work around here? No, I used to live here. Can't be bothered moving. Auckland Doctors is just a time. It's so hard to get on the list of the point. And so she's like, oh, do you take the, I don't know what one says you said, Northwest motorway?

And I was like, yeah. That's the number one, baby. Do you think she was just trying to make chat because it's awkward being? But then, like, if you did that every day, you'd probably just. do it and silent. Like, what do you find that they talk to you? Well, yeah, but you know me, I've got so many gyneological, gynecological issues

that she's almost my best friend at this point. Me and Dr. Churney. They might be also, there's a noise that happens during a smear that I don't think you'd understand Fletch. Yeah. There's a, there's a, the speculum makes quite a noise. Clackly, click, click, click. And then there's a scraping noise, yeah. There's a scrape. There's the

lube, there's all sorts. Like when you're going up the roller coaster and it's like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And duck bill. And duck bill's like this. And it goes, yeah, right. Like a trolley jack, how it cranks it up. And then the scrape, there's a scrape noise.

Kind of like when the nurse is about to give me an injection or take blood and she can see the look on my face, so she starts talking to distract me. Yeah, totally. It's just like that. So I think it was that, but it was just like, and then she was like, oh, I live in this suburb, so I take this mode away. And, oh, but I'd much prefer this mode away, but it's a bit slower. I was like, I'm fine, right?

I'm fine with you down there. I don't care. Yeah, I'm fine with the noises. I'd honestly rather be in silence, but she was so lovely. Do your doctors not do the DIY one? They do, but I'm on, what did she say, a bad pathway. Yes, yeah, right, so I pick a path. Yeah, and I picked the wrong way.

Yeah, okay. So they do it. Well, it's very, very good to get your smears, because I tell you what, the sound of getting your cancer cells lays it off. Now, that's the sound I've heard. What does that sound like? Like a laser. Oh, it's Bernie Sizzley.

Like, you know, you're welding metal. Wow. And the smell of cooked cervix, that was a new one to experience. Yeah. So get your pap smears done. And if you are listening and you're like, oh my God, it sounds harrowing, you can do them yourself now. Yes, it is actually like fine to get done. Yeah.

And it's better to get that done than the ultimate. We stand with smears. You know what? We stand our smear cams. Yeah. Well, I'm an ally, of course. Of course. Absolutely.

Yeah, yeah, he gets smears and he's got a penis. But he's like, I stand by my female friends. Get it in there, crank it open. Crank it open. Tack, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat.