ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 18th July 2023

Episode Date: July 17, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Hayley talks Bathroom Renovation!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fletchborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Download the MyMaccas app and use your points towards a coffee. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. I really need a poop. How bad? Like, end of this podcast you can go or should we pause? I didn't expect this to be part of the podcast.

I didn't shit properly on holiday the whole time. The minute I leave the time zone. My bowel and colon and the eating and the flights. America clogs you up. Oh, yeah. Daddy loves a lorazepam. Yeah, clog, clog, clog. That clogs? Does that clog?

Lorazi, well, it stops your anxiety and anxiety makes you poop. So, you know what I mean? They're cool. I went to the bathroom before and then our receptionist sort of followed me in. Ah, yeah. Not to follow me in, but to also go wheeze inside. Well, this leads us nicely onto the fact that renovations are up to bathroom and plumbing. Because all my pooping has to happen at work.

I prefer not to poop in the portal, though. Anyway, but yes, yesterday the plumber was around, which is a big moment in a bathroom's renovation because they're placing everything where it goes and Aaron wasn't home. Stressful. And it had to fall on me. Yeah. To fall on fall on me like how high do you want the shower head because when we were doing ours I remember saying okay but where does the tile come out to because I don't want it either the tile has to be it has to the the fountain the the what do you call this the mixer yeah has to be in the middle of the tile or where the tiles join I know so I said well the

tiles play a part and he said no we put it in the middle of the tile. I said, yes, but then you're going to have to cut the tile on the left in half. I know. Am I going to have half a tile on the other side? And then we've got like cubby holes, and the tiles have to fit perfectly into the cubby holes. Correct, they do. And then we've got windows either side of the,

so I was like, then the mirror's going to go there, and we can't have the mirror too high, so we're bringing everything down. Yeah, and you're tall people. You've got a tall, you've got a tall fiance. I know, a tall fiance. And then he was like, well, how high is your kitchen bench? Now, kitchen bench is, what's standard?

800? 900? 800? 900? 600? 750? Yeah, and ours is 800. Well, like, appliances are 600, aren't they? Yeah, so with our I think ours is 800. The studio desk's a meter, it's definitely shorter. Well, it's high. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, but he was like...

I don't know. He was like, your bench is... I'm pretty sure ours were 900. 900. Yeah, 900's not that tall. Yeah, 900, which is like normal. Yeah. And then he was like, but most people have their...

Unless you're an Oompa Loompa. Unless you're an Oompa Loompa. Oh my God, also so excited about Hugh Grant. I know. I'm all over the show. I know. I'm such a huge Hugh Grant fan. Anyway, then he was like telling us that maybe our kitchen,

because usually your bathroom goes lower than even your kitchen. You'd have that a little bit lower. Bathroom benches are lower than a kitchen. Apparently, just a little bit. We're supposed to lean on them. Yeah, and you're not working on them. You're usually just using the bowl, which is already lower than the lower. Yeah, okay.

But we've got an above-bloody basin that sits on, a top-mounted basin, which I regret. Already? Where am I going with this? Anyway, so he was like, I think that your kitchen, your whole vanity thing is getting a bit high, and then you put the sink on top, then you put the tap on there, and he was like, it's probably getting a bit tall.

And I was like, yeah, but look at us, and we don't, you know, we need to be a little bit taller. And then he was like, yeah, but probably too tall for kids. This is a really nice man, really sweet man. Gave me the energy of being a father. Well,

that's also great that he's thinking about everything. Cause you've got to think about your renovations. Like if you don't live in this house, someone's going to buy it and they don't want to renovate a house for someone else. But they don't want to sink. That's like two metres above the ground. No, I know. So we're not doing like custom to us because we don't want to live in this house forever.

One day we'll do that with real high benches everywhere. Yeah. What about if the kids move into the house, they could get one of those little toodles. Remember the little toodles? This is what I thought. But instead of saying, yeah, well, they could just get a little store. I just immediately out my mouth came, fuck kids. Who wants them anyway?

I know. To this lovely man. It was quite aggressive. And I didn't mean it. I was just being like, eh, fuck them, who wants them anyway? And he sort of looked at me like, oh, that's so sad. And then I walked away and I was like, oh, that was a little bit aggressive. And then I spent the whole afternoon trying to be light and playful and delightful

so they didn't think that I was some like sad child hating person. I don't hate children I just don't want them of my own and I'm not going to build a house according to a child's height. Yeah.

Again they can get a plastic fucking turtle. And they don't need to fucking wash their hands anyway. You know they don't wash their hands. They need to wash

their hands more. No you just give them a squirt of bloody sanny and send them out the door. There was a guy here a grown man. Now he came out of the cubicles when I was in the bathroom.

I was urinating in the wall-mounted urinal. He came out of the cubicle. Now, I know that the disabled cubicle at work has its own sink. Did he check out your dick? No, he didn't check out my dick because I had my back to him. He would have been really obvious if he had. Does he pull your pants the whole way down? I go pants right down the floor.

I saw a guy, a grown man, I think it was at an airport. I walked in and he was at the urinal. He had his pants down. Pants right down. He doesn't want to weasel in his shorts ahead of a flight. I was like, ah! The butt out. Butt out.

It's the butt out. Pants and undies right down. And I was just like, what is happening here? Good Lord. I was like, am I on a hidden TV show? Clear it out. This guy came out of the cubicle straight out the door. No hand wash. Yucky. But it wasn't the cubicle with the bathroom. No, it out of the cubicle straight out the door. No hand wash.

Yucky. But it wasn't the cubicle with the bathroom. It wasn't the cubicle with the basin in it. Oh no, that's disgusting. Have we forgotten? If he's been in a cubicle,

he's either done a poopy whoopee in which you definitely have to wash your hands regardless of whether you think you touched your butthole or not when you wiped or he's been touching his willy. Yeah.

Yeah, wash your hands. That's a grown man that works here. Yeah, that was a grown man that works here. Do you know who? I didn't recognise him. You didn't recognise him. I didn't recognise him. Point him out. Name and shame. If I That's a grown man that works here. Yeah, that was a grown man that works here. Do you know who? I didn't recognize him. You didn't recognize him. I didn't recognize him.

Point him out. Name and shame. If I see him, I'll point him out. We should all just go, ooh. Ooh, yeah, yeah. Right, put him on the big screen in reception. Oh, yeah, this man was spotted. This shitty fuck doesn't wash his hands.

Like, really? I think we make an example of him. This is a gross opening to the show. I'm going to say, I'm sorry. Let's absolutely make an example of this man. Put him on all of our company's outside billboards. Sorry, Mike Hosking, we can't advertise your show this month because we're making an example of someone that didn't wash their hands.

Yeah, and good. Gross. And rightly so. Wash your hands.