ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 19th April 2024

Episode Date: April 18, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; We read out THE text from our "How did you kill the Romance" Phoner. If you haven't heard the Big Pod yet, pop that on first!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod Great things are brewing at McCafe The perfect start to every day Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod Now A Little Bit of Pod today is leftovers from the show Not leftovers, let's say an extension Premium content of the show that was not

fit for broadcast on the FM It's the muffin top of our phoner No, it's premium muffin top Spilling over the top. Premium muffin top. I'm going to end with the text that made us feel like we knew a little bit of pop, but we actually had quite a few other messages in as well. For a recap, we were talking about romantic moments ruined. I saw a guy, God, he was a handsome dude at the airport,

suave, dressed, looking a million bucks, waiting for his lady love to get off a plane with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. He looked excited. He looked like wide-eyed and like fidgety. But it turned out that was just because he was busting for a piss.

And as soon as he saw her, he charged up to her, thrust the flowers and said, hold on to these. I'm so busting for a piss. I'm about to piss my pants. Yeah.

I will say at this stage of the podcast, there may be some content, some R18 content ahead. Oh, dude. I'd say it's R22 Yes Maybe R25

And the R stands for rimming Yeah There you go Consider yourself teased You've been warned So we talked about romantic moments Ruined Somebody said lovely remote setting

Yeah Up a mountain In a private hut Oh My girlfriend left to go to the bathroom. When she came back, I was outside the hut, crouched down. In my mind, in her mind, it looked like

I'd picked up a bug because she's so scared of bugs but it was the ring I was holding on my hand clenched. Beautiful. I made it, it was clenched on my hand. She didn't see my intention and because I was crouching, not on one knee, she said Are you shitting outside there's a toilet you shouldn't be doing

that out here it didn't ruin the romantic but it certainly took a bit of wind out of us as we laughed about it and I said no will you marry me and then she said yes you know a great story are you shitting outside no I'm proposing to you like how often do you hear of an engagement story like oh yeah okay cool

but that one that's funny I ruined my proposal I was far too nervous to eat The anxiety about the fact that I was going to ask One of the most important questions of my life was eating me alive I just could not eat When I finally asked her We were in Queensland

When I finally asked She said yes I was so excited and I stood up too quick Oh you fainted And I went And then my eyes went My ears went and she said yes, I was so excited and I stood up too quick. Oh, you fainted. And I went. And then my eyes went, my ears went, and I fainted. Later on that night, my fiance celebrated our engagement with a beautiful bubble bath while I lay in the bed eating a Ferg burger trying to get my body back in. Sustenance.

Hot bath wouldn't have done you any favors. No. A Ferg burger, though, That'll get your sustenance back If you lighten the head God the best Some of the best Yum While in Prague

I ruined my fiancé's proposal As he went down to go on one now Interrupted and told him You don't need to do that To which I replied Well you know what I'm going to ask you And I said Yeah well you know what I'm going to say

So Just shit all over that one That was I mean in Prague I shit myself in Prague No I did shit myself You did shit yourself I don't have public toilets anywhere

That's ridiculous How leaky How far down the leg did it get Well because I had a Like campylobacter I had a stomach thing And I got a lime scooter To get back to the hotel real quick

But the cobblestones Shook it out of me Shook it out of you Rumbled it right out What are we talking Down to the knee Or did we get to ankle Contained

But everything was thrown out Oh I contained Really missed those jeans Yeah rumbled it right out what are we talking down to the knee or did we get to ankle contained but everything was thrown out oh I contained really missed those jeans really the jeans went as well I just I was like

you know what it's all in the bin I'm not wearing those again they would have been subies too they would have been expensive bin them

yeah I'm sorry to hear of your loss my partner was like let's go to Larnac Castle in Dunedin and I was like

I just want to go to a few shops first as I'd want a jackpot on the pokies now I'm painting a picture of these people he was getting so mad

about the shopping and I kept asking him what his problem was anyway a few hours later when we finally got to Larnac Castle he proposed it turned out

that he had the ring box down the front of his jocks the whole time and he was wildly uncomfortable oh god a bawly ring just wanted to get it done yeah

my mother-in-law ruined our romantic moment. My husband was going to propose to me in Queensland in 2017, but his mum refused to give him the ring. It was kept in a bank safe. She thought we weren't ready to get married yet, even though we were 30 and had been dating for a year. I came back from Queensland wondering why he hadn't proposed,

and I got really upset. He then told me all this, and finally stood up to his mum and got the ring three months later imagine dealing with that as a mother I just buy another ring who gives a shit lots of jewellers do like placeholder rings and you can go in and they're like

50 bucks or something and they look nice and they've got maybe a little cubic zirconia or something you just do those and you're like I'll get you a proper ring we'll get you what you want when we were in Monaco I was proposing to my partner in the gardens by the sea. Must be nice. Monaco must be nice. Never been.

It was a bit of a walk down the side of the hill. My partner didn't want to go there, so I stayed at the top eating. And me and my friend had to go up and get them. In the end, my friend had to go up and get them and say, he's trying to propose to you down there. He needs you to get down there, otherwise you're going to ruin the proposal. Well, you've ruined it. We get back up the hill and they're like,

You guys almost done? Oh yeah You'd just be like Let's just go down And then they'd be like It's not what I thought Because they ruined it Right are you ready for the one

That made us do a little bit of pod? Don't hold anything back My partner and I had been apart for a week As I was travelling So upon our reunion We had a very sensual night. A week? A week? Are you kidding me? Rookie numbers

have not fallen away with your partner. Is that a drought, is it? Yeah, yeah. Imagine a week without sex with your partner. Christ alive. Heaven forbid I wouldn't be able to contain myself. Imagine it. My partner and I were in a hut for a week as I was travelling and getting back together we had a very sensual night. He was doing everything right, like out of a movie.

Yeah. Slow and sexy. Oh, hot. We were 69ing. Oh, hot. Nice. Nice. And I was about to come.

Good on you. Come on. Here we go. Well, we trigger warned. I was about to ejaculate. Do you know what? In fact, there's no gender here. There's no gender mentioned apart from the partner is a male.

So this partner could be a male. Yeah, okay. Okay, that changes it. As I was about to come and I was down there, he let out this huge smelly fart as I was eating his ass. I knew that was coming. And I couldn't finish. I couldn't finish.

No, you ruined the moment. No way, I'm not surprised someone just farted in your mouth. You've got to pre-fart. If we're doing butt stuff, you've got to go get the farts out. What is the deal with prepping for butt stuff?

Well, you've got to empty it out. Because what? Is it preordained that the ass will be eaten? Like, is this disgusting? I don't think we need to be talking about this. All I'm saying is... You know what? The same with the front as the back.

Give it a wipe. You've got to give it a wipe. Give it a wipe. Give it a complimentary wipe. Or if it's a mess, don't let them go down there. Just be like, oh, not today. And if you're too teed, just be like, no. Yes. Or you can feel a fart mess, don't let them go down there. Yeah. Just be like, oh, not today. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. And if you're 2T, just be like, no.

Yes. Or you can feel a fart coming, can't you? Just be like, hang back a sec. I mean, in 69 it's hard because where are you going to go? Yeah. Okay, what about this saying? If you're 2T, it's okay for a Rudy. But if you're farty, it's not an arse on mouth party.

That's a great rhyme. Yeah. I mean, that's a life motto there Isn't it? Right there Get that on a thing with a beach in the background With a couple of footprints walking down the beach Can we actually get that made please?

The wording is If you're tootie it's okay for rootie But if you're farty it's not an arse to mouth party We'll get that up We'll sell that We'll sell the merch on Zed-mouth party. We'll get that up. We'll sell that merch on Ziddymonline. We should. We should get that up.