ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 19th March 2024

Episode Date: March 18, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; We continue to read out the texts we received during our "I love my Partner, But..." segment in today's Big Pod!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod Great things are brewing at McCafe The perfect start to every day Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod And today on the Big Pod We ask you to complete the sentence I love you my partner but I love my partner but

I said I love you I love you I said I love you Oh my god Did you hear that? We've got that recorded Lock it in Lock it in

It's love I didn't think that was going to come out today It only took a few years, but here it is. I love my partner, but. Now, this is all because a woman's partner puts away the groceries. He just puts in the bags in the fridge or freezer or pantry. That's a half unpacked. He doesn't unpack anything.

We got so many messages in with I love my partner Bart That we've got overflow And here we are Here we are with our overflow To catch To catch the overflow The overflow Nothing will go to waste A little bit of pod

Yeah Nothing goes to waste around here I love my partner But he can't fold the towels properly And he always farts And then leaves the room Oh that's two That's two of those

We should have told people on air That we were doing an R18 Or a podcast Oh yeah And then we we were doing an R18 or a podcast And then we could have had an R18 response That would have been great This is pre-recorded, we can't I love my husband but he checks his Garmin watch statistics After any sexual activity

He leaves the watch on during sex, does it not? It's also giving me big pumping away energy Because he's there for the calorie burn And not her pleasure He's a real humper. Yeah. To try and get the sort of heart rate up. Sponky bro, sponky bro! You know who's got a Garmin?

Georgia Burt. I'm so embarrassing. She's got a Garmin. Georgia Burt! Georgia Burt! She's doing her job. Well, at next available opportunity if we're still recording this. I love my husband, but I don't want to know every house he's ever worked on when we go for a drive. Oh, that's, you know, growing up, my dad was a builder.

And every time we drove past something, I built that. I built that. My pop did it. He was a house painter. Painted that. Painted that place. I painted that. And you do feel that kind of, you know. Pride. Pride in your work. Yeah. that place I painted that and you do feel that kind of

you know pride pride in your work yeah I love my partner but if we've run out of tissues on the bedside table

and I haven't put another box he'll pick his nose at night and wipe it on the sheets claims he does that when he's asleep got a masturbation

station on the guy how are you getting through all these tissues sleeping next to a box of tissues yeah I'd never have a box of tissues

beside the bed unless you were like, literally like, oh, good. Unless you're sick. Unless it's a toilet roll. Yeah. Oh no,

toilet roll works way more like a masturbation station than a tissue box. They both look masturbatory. I don't have one. Hand lotion in the bathroom. Don't have that beside the bed. Absolutely no need.

I love my partner, but he would rather put $30 gas in the car every day rather than just filling it up once a week. Oh, my God. Does that help with stacking your discount, though? Could do. I don't think so. I don't know.

But then when you get a big one, you use your discount? Yeah, you accrue that. But I don't know if they're doing that anymore. Are they? Well, I had an option the other day when I rented a car to stack, and I was like, I remember you talking about doing it. I'm a Costco fuel guy now. Yeah, okay.

I'll save 30 cents a litre right then and there. Oh, God, guys, Miss Garmin's coming in. Oh, God, here she is. Garmin. Here she is. She's a proud owner of a Garmin watch. The only person I know with a Garmin, apart from fishing people and pilots. I fish every now and then.

Did you wear your Garmin watch when you did the social post of you going for a run the other day? Yes. There was one picture of you running and both your feet were off the ground. You looked like Peter Pan. I'm actually a leap runner. She's a leaper. Now, we had a message in. Somebody's partner, because we're doing I Love My Partner, Bart.

I love my partner, but he checks his Garmin watch statistics after every sexual activity. So he leaves his Garmin on. You take your Garmin off. No, the Garmin stays on. Actually, he tells me to take it off before bed each night. He's like, you don't need to track your sleep. Gal's got to figure out that she gets her eight hours. I mean, you charge it.

I love my sleep tracker. Only on the nights that it needs to be charged. Otherwise, it's worn. But what do you mean? What kind of thing? Yeah, I don't wear mine. They leave it on. They tick them up the calories of the, because the heart rate

gets up, I guess. You've got to tell me that smart, well, we're all smart watch wearers, whether they're garments or Apple Watches like us. We've all had a little cheeky look to see if it clocked. What do you leave it on during? What are you classing the activity as? Oh, but you're a missionary after 9pm. Yes.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, and my hand stays perfectly still in a... In a missionary. In a missionary locked elbow position. So there's very little movement. The pulse might increase. Only the hips move. Only the hips. Not even the face.

Quick thrust. It's quick thrust. It's a quick cover thrust, as God intended. I've definitely had a little looky-poo to see if it locked. Really? Yeah. But do you activate it? No, I don't activate it. No, I don't activate it.

No, I don't activate it. I actually think I want to put it on cardio next time. Well, should we all do a little shaggy waggy today and we'll clock it? I can't today. I've had mine for the month. Jesus, God, how ready we all were. Could go a wank. Yeah, I'm sure you can clock that if you want.

Oh, wrong hand. We'll put it on the other hand. We'll switch the rest. Nah, that's going to throw me off balance. I'm sure you can clock that if you want. Oh, wrong hand. Or put it on the other hand. Or switch the rest. No, that's going to throw me off balance. I'm a delicate balance. Oh, my God. Did you see Carwin's message? Did we all switch wrists?

Please repeat to the podcast, and I apologise for Carwin's language here. Wait a minute. Georgia thinks every guy can masturbate with both hands. No, Georgia. You've got the third hand. No, you've got a... Ambidextrous. You're right-handed.

No, you're not. I'm right-handed, but I'm left-handed. I'm left-handed, but I'm right-handed. You're ambidextrous. No, no, no. I'm ambidextrous No you've got to You're right handed You're right handed No you're not I'm right handed But I'm left handed I'm left handed But I'm right handed You're ambidextrous No no no I'm ambidextrous

I'm going to do it With both hands Wait wait I write with my left hand And I fiddly-dee With the right I write with my right hand And fiddly-dee

With the left I write with my right hand And play tennis With my right hand What about when you're with someone else? Do we mix it up a bit or not? We should be using it all, really. Yeah, right? So on yourself, it's just, oh, that's boring.

Can't one producer, can't one friend of yours use their tracker? I promised that this was actually my friend. She sent me a screenshot. My friend. She was like, shut up. Really is my friend. You're my friend, so yeah. That checks.

She'd had a night out and she'd gone home with the guy that she was seeing. And the next morning she went, oh, my God, I didn't know Fitbits were this good. And sent me a screenshot for a time. Giving or receiving? Giving. Giving. And it had tractor. Really? No, no, yeah. Mouth stuff. In the mouth. Mouth Giving. Giving. And a hydractor. No.

Yeah. Mouth stuff. Mouth pleasure. Yeah. An attractor. Under what? I think it said like swimming

or something. I'm drowning. It's important to breathe. She came up the air and the feedback was like swimming. You know when you learn to swim

they're like always breathe out. Oh my God, that is so funny. That is so good. To me, going by the Garmin exercises, it could have come under breath work. Yeah, breath work. Okay. Or Pilates.

Pilates, yeah, okay. Did you do breath work? Mine would be under Service to God missionary Yeah Multisport Triathlon That's his three positions He's trying

Or Tai Chi was there as well When he's standing When he's riding Yeah When he's swimming It looks a bit like swimming Some more text messages And I love my partner Stay Georgia You can stay for Some more text messages And I love my partner

But Stay Georgia You can stay for the rest of those Okay I love my partner But the phone and volume On his phone Is always way too loud

Oh he's not a clicker When he texts is he Oh he might have The keyboard clicks on Well that's what I wanted To ask Georgia While we've got her here Do you have

I love my partner but For home Oh yeah there's lots of things But why can't I think Of anything off the top of my head Because he's perfect And I want to marry him That'll wear off That'll wear off

Oh, okay He, with the toilet roll He'll not take the empty one off Sometimes what he'll do is he'll get the empty one And he'll kind of stack it On the side That's what I'm living at the moment He literally has this issue at the moment

I'm at a standoff and I was collecting them on top of the toilet. They're either on top of the bin, on top of the bin, heaven help me, or on top of the toilet. You know your problem. You need an open bin. Oh, yuck. No. No.

Oh, no. Oh, no. You don't even have a bin. What about a bin? Some people have a bin for the full toilet rolls. Like a cane rattan bin. Oh, yeah. And then I know people shove it back on.

Chuck the empties back in there. It's not the aesthetic, Han. I love my partner, but put the goddamn wine glass in the dishwasher, not next to it. You're never going to use the same glass again tomorrow night. Don't lie to me. Yeah.

I love my partner, but he leaves grated cheese all over the bench, never cleans up after himself. I love grated cheese. But cheese is hard to get off the bench It's annoying to wipe It makes the flannel all mink I reckon that's the best You can just grab it in a ball

Re-ball it I love my partner But he puts his washing on the floor In front of the washing basket Instead of in it I love my partner, but she doesn't lay a finger on the bed till I've taken all my outside clothes off.

Oh, yeah. Oh, so he's not allowed. He's not allowed in the bed until he's taken all his outside clothes off. I love my husband, but he uses bathroom hand towels as kitchen tea towels. He's got his own.

Oh, Hayley's. Oh, my God. No, Aaron doesn't. That just would annoy me. Never the two shall meet. Oh, my God. No, Aaron doesn't. That just would annoy me. Never the two shall meet. No. I love my partner, but he always shaves his bed in the bathroom sink right after I've cleaned the bathroom.

I told Sade not to get the flat bottom sinks. They're fucking stupid. If you're doing a bathroom, don't get a flat bottom sink. It's got to have a good gradient. You've got to have a good gradient. Horrible. The stuff just sits there. It doesn't want to go down the plug hole. I love my partner. I've got a slight slope. I've got to have a good gradient. Yeah, yeah. You've got to have a good gradient. Horrible. The stuff just sits there. It doesn't want to go down the plug hole.

I love my partner. I've got a slight slope. I've got to go. You've got a beautiful... Okay, yeah, you've got to go. Oh, are we boring you, Georgia? Wow. Sorry, we're not entertaining enough.

She's got a radio show on at the moment. Wow. Unbelievable. Go get her a garment. Yeah. I love my partner, but for the past few weeks, he's been screaming in his sleep in the middle of the night. Oh, my God.

Heroic. Sounds like that episode, the latest middle of the night. Oh, my God. Heroic. Sounds like that episode of the latest episode of Curbs. So good. Hurry up and watch it. I love my partner, but he screams like a girl every time he dies while playing Call of Duty. I love that. Can you please record that and send it to us?

That's embarrassing. We need to get that online. We do. There's so many of these. I love my partner, but he won't brush his teeth before bed. Oh, you've got to. You've got to. And when you wake up. I love my partner But he won't brush his teeth Before bed Oh you've got to You've got to And when you wake up

I love my partner And every time we talk She'll speak in a normal voice And then slowly start to mumble talk And I don't know what she's saying At the end of the conversation Speak up dear woman Speak up boy

I love my husband But so very much But last week The dentist took his tooth out He brought it home in a little bag And had it on the coffee table For three days I said can you please move this

And he put it on his bedside table Like he thinks the fairy do fairy is coming for it or something What is it like seven? Yeah I don't know I love my husband But I do not want to hear another word About his latest motorbike project I do not care

There's so many of them And it just keeps going And going Even now and then it's good to schedule a little Vent Vent you know for our listeners I think it's quite many of them and it just keeps going and going and going and then it's good to schedule a little vent you know for our listeners I think it's quite nice of us

yeah I love my husband but he stacks the dishwasher like Captain Hook wearing a blindfold okay it's very specific bringing in some pirate pirate-ness there

so there we go a little bit of a little bit of pirate absolutely filled up with people venting about their partner