ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 19th October 2024

Episode Date: October 18, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Hayley had some bad news for Rolly & we discuss the joys of house-sitting! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. Did you used to do that to rock up your siblings? Yep. Still funny. Never to mum or dad you'd get a hiding.

I do. Oh my god. Give it a go. If you even dared. You'd give it a go you'd get a hiding. I do. Oh, my God. Give it a go. If you even dared. You'd give it a go, though, eh? Yeah. Hayley! Oh, my.

And then you're like, shh! Run! Yesterday I sat outside because, oh, my God, our holiday plans have changed, our Christmas plans. My parents were going to come spend Christmas with me and Aaron at our whare. And then my mum goes, fuck, I can't get the cat into the cattery. I just didn't even think about it.

She said, we just can't. And they don't have a cat door in their house. So they can't even just get a feeder or something like that because you'll just be trapped inside. They can't do it. She was like, can you guys come down here? So I was like, fine,

we'll come down to Wellington. And I looked at flights, quite cheap. Oh, yeah. Christmas flights were cheap. Yeah, right. Which is unheard of in New Zealand. When are you flying? Pre, like, well before Christmas?

Straddling. Straddling the day. 20th? 21st to the 28th. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's not bad. Really good.

Anyway, so I was like, that's fine, we'll do that. And then, so I rang up our cattery. Can't get our cat into the cattery. And I was like what are we going to do we're just trapped with

these cats here it comes what here it fucking comes here it comes drive around to my house twice a

day to give a cat fucking biscuits it's got you've got get an automatic feeder that cat's not going to

I'm not leaving him for a week on his own no way no he wouldn't survive his little heart would be like.

No, he'd just curse at whoever came to feed him. You just have a poor energy. He has actually become very friendly over the years. He jumps up on people's laps and stuff. You have a poor energy when it comes to cats. I think you were cruel to him. I think you might have been cruel to him. And my cameras weren't currently on. Eat your fucking biscuits.

You fat shit. Cats don't speak English vaughn yeah exactly they read the vibes no no i'm not asking you to do it i was like maybe there's a friend floating around auckland that wants to spend christmas in a house i'm getting a house sitter for a whole month yeah wait genius on the james no no there's a um website house really yeah and this is the first time you've had a non... Yeah, because everyone's away and it's like Christmas. It's just an absolute mission. And so handy. So good.

It took like a day. Someone was like, yes, I want free rent for a month. How much is it? Because a friend of mine did this for like a couple of years. She just bounced around professional housing, like longer term ones. Yeah, because you read the profile and they all have

like police like background checks and stuff I mean you've got to become a criminal sometimes it might as well be a Fletcher's place

with that massive TV yeah might as well so how much did they charge so you it was like 600 for a month okay so 20 bucks

a day yeah which is pretty good and it was a little bit more because there were lots of stat holidays in there you have to pay them a bit more yeah because it is pretty good. And it was a little bit more because there were lots of stat holidays in there. You have to pay them a bit more in public holidays.

Yeah, because it's, I mean, I guess it's like any business. You don't have to fucking work so hard sitting on your couch drinking your booze. And the place takes- Having a wank. The place takes- That'd be paid $20 a day to wank. Now, if you're doing two wanks a day,

that's $10 a wank. Dream job. Vaughn Allen Smith. How much would you- I tell you what, we've talked about my whopping mortgage. If I was getting paid $10 a wank, I'd have that thing paid off years ago. Oh, God, yeah.

Jesus. Vaughn Allen. I'd be in surplus. The bank would owe me money. I'd be a bank. I'd be a bank. Unbelievable. Oh, God.

Getting that compound interest. That's such a good thing When I first moved to Auckland And Aaron didn't live here yet You did that? No no I signed up to do it And then it just felt all complicated Right HouseSitters.co.nz

The house sitting company Free plug Free plug Free plug Your admin charges should be refunded You should get a free a free At least 10% I should have a discount code actually But our house is freshly

Wank 10 Wank 10 Big couch wank 10 But that's the thing Like you just You've just got to trust Someone else in your house Don't you

And our house Having been freshly renovated And some of the bits Are a bit complicated Like the sinks You know We don't put these Oh and also the bench

Is like the softest timber No one can match Yeah exactly Don't place anything on the bench Yeah don't we don't put these oh and also the bench is like the softest timber known to man yeah exactly like don't place anything on the bench yeah don't lean on the bench or you shell dent it you know the glass is very can you just so no there's no way I'm getting that so we had to find a cattery or we were going to spend Christmas alone and my parents would spend Christmas alone and that just was really

sad or what are you going to do so we just rang around we I did catteries near us and i just brought in the search and we got wider and wider from our house and now you're in um uh what we looked in a rama rama oh wow i'm talking which is pretty close to hamilton yeah i know and we live north yeah anyway so no no i ended up finding one out west and a lovely place and managed to get in just on the date. So we were like, oh, my God, this is great. Booked him in.

And we were doing this all in front of Raleigh. And you know, like, with a dog, you never say W-A-L-K. You don't say walk or trip or anything. You've got to spell it out because they know. It's like you never get out the cat carrier case when you're taking them to the vet because they go. Yeah. So Raleigh hates the cattery. He absolutely hates it. taking them to the vet. They'll just go. They go. Yeah. So, Rolly hates the cattery.

Yeah. He absolutely hates it. And that's the thing. Aaron kept being like, we need to find a good place. I was like, he'll hate it if it's like $5,000 a day. Yeah. Anyway, so we did this all in front of him on the phone. And I felt like he was a little bit stroppy.

He knew. He knew. So, what I did is I pulled out a little cushion. We were sitting outside and the sun was shining for half an hour, so we were enjoying it. I pulled out a little cushion and he was on it like a little thing, and I read him a little bit of the things that he has to look forward to. I went on the Meadow Farm Cattery website and I said,

listen to this, my boy. What, like you're telling your kids what they're going to get at Dream World or something? I said, my darling, listen to this. You'll get excited. Meadow Farm is a luxury cattery situated on a picturesque lifestyle block just minutes away from da-da-da-da-da. Semicommunal, all these things.

Overlooks Gardens, Raleigh. Are you listening, Raleigh? Overlooks Gardens. Paddocks where the cats will be able to watch the farm animals, wild rabbits, and birds. Birds, boy. From their cage. Boy, you love birds.

Yeah, I know, but I'm not telling him that yet. Right. I'm selling him the picture of his holiday. Right. Because boy, you love birds. Yeah, I know, but I'm not telling him that yet. Right. I'm selling him the picture of his holiday. Right. Because dogs, kennels rule. They go and the dogs run around mad and they sleep in the thing

but then they get out. But cats, you can't leave them out because they run away and they never come back. It might have actually just been cheaper to pay Vaughan to wank at your house and feed him.

No. Twice a day. It would have been cheaper to pay Vaughan to do this. And he respects wood. He respects the bench. No wonder Raleigh was hissing at you, batting that thing about at him. What was this?

You're always going to shut the animals out when you're having a wank. If you are thinking of having a wank today, a wank 10 is my discount code. Wank 10. Wank 10. For a premier wank. Wherever you wank. Okay. Wank 10. Do have one today, though. Why not a premier wang. Wherever you wang. Okay. Whang 10.

Do have one today though. Why not? Oh, Hayley. It's part of the joy of life. Please don't smut the podcast. You're smutting the pod. Don't smut the podcast. You smut the podcast.