ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 1st May 2023

Episode Date: April 30, 2023

On todays Lil Bitta Pod, Fletch reveals he's absolutely RUINED a matching set!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fletchborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Thanks to McCafe. Great things are brewing, one cup at a time. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod, and we do touch on this slightly in the big pod today, but I just feel like I didn't get enough time. I didn't get enough time to vent.

You're upset. Get it off your chest. We're here for you. Thank you. I dropped one of my smeg knives. Now how'd you do that dipshit? You were fucking lucky it didn't go through your foot. I know.

The little peering knife that you're talking about would 100% be the right weight to size ratio to penetrate the foot. It'd be right through the foot. No, it just slipped down. I think I was drying it, and then it slipped down, and it landed on the tiles of the kitchen floor, and it just kind of hit flat, and it just snapped in half. Just the right amount of vibrations.

Yeah. Handle to blade. Handle to blade. So the handle came off, and there's just a blade, and it's just the veggie knife, the short one. Because it's not one of those ones where it's like stuffed into a plastic handle. It's all one. It's all one.

How bizarre. And so now, like, because I put them on a magnetic board on the wall. Yes. And now there's like a gap. God, it's doing my head in. But you've got another one. I've got to get all new knives. No, that's knee jerk.

Now, hold back. Because you've got two of each. No, I've got two each of the small knives. You see, you've already got another one. No, but now I've got two and then one. It's not even. That's fine, but you've got one of others. Oh wait, so you had both two of the smaller ones on display?

Yeah. He needed to have a backup one. Why are you rubbing your wealth in our face? Why are you... Everybody was fucking shitting and fighting and pissing on each other to get these knives and you've got two of each. I managed to collect the stamps. Maybe I got some receipts out of the bin and the trolley page.

But I got those bloody new world knives. I don't even know where it is now. One knife. Is it the small one? No, the big one, the big whopper, the chef's knife. Yeah, having rules. That is so dangerous. If you drop that, it'll definitely go through.

I know. When I first got those knives, they were so sharp,'d keep like cutting myself yeah yes i like having like blunt knives because it's just a safety thing i want to get a nice set of i keep getting a targeted advertisement on instagram of like nice beautiful japanese because we've got some japanese knives but they've gone a bit blunt and i'm ready for a new one get them sharpened you get that thing on the infomercials no no no no no no no no you go and get the proper you get a proper knife sharpener sharpen your knives and you're not going to know yourself right yeah look at these here's a three pack for a thousand dollars miyabi is the damascus steel look it's all folded over and so oh see i reckon if i drop that on the floor it's not going to break but i reckon a1,000. I reckon it would go through your floor into the apartment below you.

You can murder someone. It's got so much speed, it just keeps pounding through. It'll go all four floors and then go all the way through to whatever's on the other side of the world. Yes. Which I believe would be China? Yes, China. From here, Spain.

Great news. Take me with. Oh, fantastic. We could go to Barcelona. We could follow it. We would have to. We would have to. The show would have to go to Barcelona to get back Fitch's knife. That's how the world works, eh?

We have to go to Barcelona. But then does it... Mike Hoskin got to go to England for the coronation of the king and that matters fuck all to us, doesn't it? Whereas Barcelona is... You've got to get your knife back. You've got to get my knife back. You just paid $300.

How many? Effectively $300 a knife Well no because I remember A lot of listeners were sending in Stickers for me To collect the knives That's correct But I'm talking about

Who Japanese You're cashing in We've established The smeg won't go through your tiles We're talking about The Japanese Damascus steel That's going to go Straight through to Spain

These are the ones I keep getting Espanola Akari They're like pearl handles. They're so expensive. Like mother of pearl handles. Jesus.

I'll just go back to Farmers and get whatever's on special. Get a red dot special. What's the cutlery brand that's always in Farmers? Wilshire. Wilshire. Yeah, it's Wilshire. I've got Wilshire cutleries. Yeah, it's Wilshire. I've got Wilshire cutleries.

Posh cutlery back in the day. My nana had the Wilshire bone-handled knives. She didn't do spots on the coal range and she really missed the trick there because you totally could have because they insulated perfectly against the heat. And they were flat and they weren't sharp. Great spotting knives, but she never used them for that.

Right. But those were Wilshire stamped. Now, those were quite a big deal. I think those were their wedding cutlery. Yeah. Oh, yeah. For their wedding. But then Wilshire maybe.

Well, these were a wedding gift for me, which I got in the divorce. Yes, of course. That's right. Yeah, that's why I've got all the Wilshires. The Smeg knives. And the Smeg knives, yeah. Oh, and the Wilshire cutlery. I got everything.

My cutlery is a Kmart. When you divorce yourself You get to keep everything Yeah it's such a It's so much fun Yeah Actually not a divorce It was a

Conscious uncoupling Ah yes Of course Modern man Yeah because it was Around the time that Gwyneth and Apple did that

No no no That's her daughter Oh that's her daughter Yeah Chris Martin I just can't knife I really want a Thousand dollar knife I want a butcher's roll.

Have a listen to yourself. On a cleaver. I've got two cleavers, and you use them more than you think. Great pizza cutters. Butchering a chuck. And just cutting things like potato, pumpkins. We've talked about it before. Yes.

This is the kind of stuff when you finally get married, you make a register. Oh, get out. And one of them can be like a Japanese knife. I know a forge. You could get Aaron. And one of them can be like a Japanese knife. I know a forge. You could get Aaron a ticket. A ticket? You could buy him a day at the forge. Because that's where I made one of my cleavers. At the forge. Yeah, but I don't want to go with

him. No, no, no. You get it to him and you still get a cleaver at the end of the day. It's not the 1800s. This is so well balanced. Why could do it? Because it's our anniversary today. This could be the gift. This could be the gift. A day at the forge. Yeah. And then he gets you a cleaver so you still get what you want

and you give him very specific design props. And I get him out of the house and I can have a little 10 minutes on my own. Or just buy him a lifetime pass to Rainbow's End. Oh, my God. He would fit. But no one's getting a cleaver. Yeah, I'm still going to have to buy the cleaver. You still have to buy the cleaver.

I want a big cleaver. Look at these. My cleaver is made out of metal that was made before nuclear bombs. You know how metal changed? There's traces in every piece of metal forged and stuff since. Huh? I think you're making that up. I think you're making that up. It's true.

It's true. You can tell. And this was ages ago. It was an old leaf spring. I think it feels like the place where you made the knives is trying to justify the price of the technology. Yeah. This stuff, mate, no nuclear bomb.

Yeah. No nuclear bomb energy. Wow, really? Although a nuclear cleaver would be pretty fucking cool. Yeah. It would glow green and you'd cut people and they'd die. Suck it, pumpkin. Yeah.

Eat my shit. You'd microwave it as you cut it. And, of course, you always have to say, eat my shit to activate your cleaver. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.