ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 1st October, 2025

Episode Date: September 30, 2025

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Fletch had a code brown situation...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the Zedium Podcast Network, it's Fletchpawn and Haley's Little Bit of Pod. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. Guys, I don't near miss at the weekend. Did you? Really close, Code Brown, level five emergency. What is happening within you? There have been two times recently where you've abandoned me in a cafe because you're about to shoot your pants. I know because I don't have any, like I don't get the warning of...

You didn't get a warning. I get a little warning, but it comes on real fast. Out she comes. My metabolism is like, is good, I think. You're very good. Fast digestive track. Like when people are like, I poop once every couple of days, I'm like, what? That used to be me, but I'm becoming more regular.

Yeah. But remember, I've got a very well-endowed colon. It takes longer to travel. It takes long. It's a fucking monster. It's the Waterview Tunnels. Yeah, it is. On and on and on and on.

So we've been knowing a few cycle. classes together but on at the weekend sorry i've got that thing sorry i've got that thing where was sort of where my perinium is like where the front becomes the back i was like oh that feels bruised and then i was like the cycle class oh are you in my perinium but my coach has been a bit smashed gooch not cooch yeah it's the gooch it's the cooge it's the cooge it's not the coach the gooch the gooch and then the booch at the weekend i did a cycle class uh with my friend and it was the one how's your Gooch.

My Gooch is weathered. It's well worn. He's got a worn old leathery old leathery old goose. I do about three or four a week so I write a lot.

Cycle classes. What about the other thing? Wingling in a lot of a ride. Oh my goodness. That'll get the old goch horn in. I did this class where

it's like an old sunworn dashboard. You cracked. Cracked. It needs a leather polo. It needs moisture. It needs a map from repco to

hide the crack to hide the cracks I remember our friend James we went for a bike ride and he hadn't bike ride in like 10 years and he couldn't walk for like a week it was so yeah it's crazy it just gets you right in the thing it's that kind of like when you haven't done a sport for like if you play cricket and you haven't played for a while

and you have all these muscles in your back and you're just like where did that come from anyway so I did the cycle class on Saturday where it's different than the ones we normally do for those that go to Les Males, it's sprint tracker. And so everyone logs into an app on their phone, and it comes up on a screen, and you basically race against everyone in the class.

What are they tracking? Your speed or your heart rate? Speed and how, you couldn't just spin with no weight on the pedals. Damn it. So you'll catch me. No, yeah. So you've actually got to, you've got to go hard and fast. Like, it is humbling.

Because do you know, my special ability, and this is where my acting degree comes in, is making it, like, seem like there's an enormous weight on my bike. Like, I've got the tension up real high. But you won't even be in, like, the top 10 or 20 on the board. How many are you in this class? It just depends how many come, but it could be like, I don't know, how many in that, 50, 60? Yeah.

It could be. And only compete, 50 or 60, Jesus. So you keep. It's quite big. And only compete against the people in that current class, not you're not competing worldwide. No, in that current class. Some people don't log in because they just want to go to the class. They're not competitive angle.

But as soon as I see my. initials up there, I'm like, I've got to fucking beat that person ahead of me. Because you go hard, and I know you're not bullshitting. Because I'm, I'm bullshit. You know what I mean? Like the other day when I was like, up, get up, go, go. And I gave you motivation. Yeah, because I was sat down

for one bit when I was like, oh. But so anyway, so like the and I've done this once before and I was like, I'm never doing this again. I fucking hate it. Like, it's horrible. Did you, how good did you do? So the first round, I won the first round. You my boy, our boy. The first little segment.

The next one I obviously went way too hard In the first one I came like third or something And I was like doing pretty well And I'm there with our friend that we did spin with the other day Henry. Oh yeah, he's so far And halfway through the class I was like oh my fucking God Like this is 26 minutes the class

And I reckon I'm like 14 minutes in And I'm like oh no Rumble I'm like I need a shit like now Really the shit is coming I'm like in the top five I'm like oh no He's cranking to win I'm going to get a top 10 finish here.

He's going to place. And I'm like, I've got to do better than last time I came, like, eighth last time. I was like, I want to do better than that. And then I was like, oh my God, I'm going to shit myself if I don't go to the toilet. The dude's going to slip out, yeah. And I'm like, I just had to go and leave. What is how I go to the toilet? Now, that is not the athlete, athlete would shit themselves.

They would. They would. And carry on. So I, like, walk around to the toilet, do my swift ablutions, come back. I bet it was swift. And it was swift. And it was like three or four minutes, I was out of the car. I missed a whole track.

Yeah. And my friend was like, are you okay? I was like, yeah, I had to go to the toilet. And, but I still came like ninth. Oh, good boy. Oh, you would have, you would have been, you would have placed, I reckon. There was a whole track where I was like, I can't even go hard because if I exude pressure, I'll might shit myself. I actually, I'm with you, Vaughn.

A true athlete would have just let it out. Shoot himself. For the positioning. Yeah. And then my friend messaged me later that day. He's like, um, did you go to the toilet in like three or four minutes? Swift. I was like, yeah, I work in radio.

Like, sometimes I have two minutes 50. We call him Taylor Swift a bluisham. I'm like, Vaughn. Hey, I poop today on day of record of this podcast. I pooped over a course of a song. I haven't pooped and I wish I had a handbrake as well. And you walked in and Haley and I had started a worst break. Yeah, I did.

Yeah, I did you right. It's horrible. I blame the coffee right before the class. Yeah, that'll do it. I don't think I should have done that. That ripped right through me. But yeah. Yeah, she lubes it up, hey.

Yeah. Well, yeah, just be careful. You'd be careful if you're rat in around there At least that uncomfortable seat though Probably would have wedged it You know in your shorts for long enough You could have got out of there But the smell

Thank you.