ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 20th February 2024

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Fletch has made another Temu purchase!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod Great things are brewing at McCafe The perfect start to every day Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod Welcome Well, look what's arrived My latest order from Timu What are you up to?

He's bought something else from Timu He's bought something else from Timu What did he buy from Timu? He's bought something else from Timu What did he buy from Timu? Also, I've only ever bought two things from Timu. This isn't a thing. The last thing you bought, that cat ice pad, you hated and it was shit.

Do you know I wrote a review. I said there was no cooling pads in this at all. No cooling. Zero cooling. Now you replaced that with a cooling pad from Cracker Jack. Yes, and I tell you what, little man, Jermari Fluffington loves it. Does he? He sits on it.

And it cools? He sits on it. Yeah, it's weird. You don't even need to put it in the fridge. It's just kind of cool to the touch. It holds it cool. It just holds it, whatever the gel is. So that's working a treat.

So shout out to Cracker Jack for that. But so I was the other day driving along with Big Hearted James, who we mentioned quite a lot. Gay James. He's got a big heart. Great timing. I don't think he should be identified by his sexuality. I've been in the dog box For recently revealing his masturbatory station

In his flat Where all his flatmates can see it He's not happy So luckily I've got a present today for him Because we were driving along And I got a targeted ad on Instagram For

This Oh no Have you bought something for his car? A universal cell phone mount holder. Yeah! How good is this? This is the most boring thing I could do. The ad.

So the ad on Instagram was like $50. And then so I looked on Timu, they were $4.99. Yeah, really? Yeah, I think you got the $4.99 one. So I said to Big Hearted James, I was like, do you want one too? And so I got one. Why do you have a cell phone holder? You don't have a car. No, it's a flying. You put it in the $4.99 one. So I said to Big Hearted James, I was like, do you want one too? And so I got one. Why do you have a cell phone holder? You don't have a car.

No, it's a flying. You put it in the tray table. Oh. Yeah. I thought it was a car one. Get an iPad, you fucking loser. This is, sorry, I've just opened it. This is.

Please don't break it. That's going to break. I feel like you're about to break. That's $4.99 is Please don't break it That's gonna break I feel like you're about to break That's 499 It feels like you're about to break that That doesn't feel like That's a hinge It spins

Let them do it It spins It spins Okay I was about to break it I was about to straight Snap that in half How does that work I don't know how it works

But that clips in So that's for the phone And then that clips in Somewhere in the seat Oh you're there So you put that in the I thought you bought him A car mount.

I was like, how embarrassing. I don't know how this works, but we'll figure that out later. So this is the thing. The people on Instagram, they import these. Oh, drop shipping. And then they charge $50. Whereas if you go straight to the source, you get it for $5. They might put it in a slightly nicer box, it's still a $4.99 Shitty plastic

And it's only going to last Like probably two flights Yeah drop boxes Insane You can't give that as a gift How often are you Watching your phone on it No

Or like for John No it'll be fine Are you going to wrap it up Well it's obviously Being punished Because the box is Literally crumbling In my hand

Hayley just dropped it It was broken Yeah look he won't I'll message him And say sorry the box is a bit Why don't you get a pink one You got black They don't do pink Yes they do yuck james is um james is gonna absolutely love that yeah see jared wait were you um were you being facetious well jared has just popped in the group

chat there's an even more financially responsible way to not have to hold your phone to watch something on a plane What is that? If you pull up Producer Jared Okay, Jared, what is that? I've seen some geriatrics Get a little Gladlock bag Oh my god, I saw this

And they like snap it in Oh my god Yeah How good is that? You could just do that Save them a bit of money Or you could just get duct tape Get duct tape

Tape the back Hang it on the tray, click the tray back Same thing, then you don't have to look through a plastic shield Or you could get some Apple goggles and Not have to use a phone at all I feel like those Apple goggles would be only good on a plane Oh no

Because you wouldn't have to hold a cell phone You'd look like a penis Virtual reality porn Is that what you're thinking of? Yeah What are you going to do with it? Do you know what I mean? situations. Oh, you reckon? Yeah. Virtual reality porn. Is that what you're thinking of? Yeah. But then what are you going to do with it? Do you know what I mean? Huh?

If you're watching virtual reality porn and no one knows you're watching it, but you're still going to have a bit of a situation downstairs, what are you going to do with it? You could have a virtual jerk. No, you can't. You could have a literal jerk. And now you're on a plane. Come on, guys. We're using our imagination. Apple can't do everything yet imagination You can't think yourself To orgasm

Yet Have you watched That Pete Davidson show Bupkis No He does Puts on those goggles And also the headphones

So he can't see Or hear anything And his mum walks in While he's smacking off And that's a real danger Because when you are Playing with yourself You've got to be on high alert

That's part of the excitement Yeah I could get caught. It's a bit like, masturbating's a bit like losing a sense. You get a heightened gain of hearing.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. But you lose, you can hear that front door open a mile away. Yeah.

Your eyes, completely useless apart from what they're focused on. Yeah, for sure. For sure. And you can probably have a jerk on the plane now, hands free.

We're going to crash you in like, what, a week or so. You were going on our friend's honeymoon. We're going to, I'm going to use these and you are going to be like, fuck, I wish I had one of those. What, on the like 70 minute flight down? Yeah, well, I don't want to. You know, I sleep on planes, which is a way better option. You're going to be very jealous.

I reckon I'm all good. I don't need more junk. Yeah, I was going to say, more plastic shit from Timu. Fantastic's in the environment. Listen to that. Listen to it! What? It's a clicking.

It's clicking. Listen to it. Quality. It's quality clicking. You've got, I reckon, three more clicks until that thing is broken. Oh, no. No? See, look at that.

Oh, my God. This is great. Okay.