ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 21st August 2023

Episode Date: August 20, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Fletch FIIIIINALLY sorted out his Last Will & Testament!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fletchborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with MyMackers Rewards. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. Well, I finally did it. What did you do? Finally. What?

I've got a will. Oh! Well done. There's a will, there's a way. There's a will, there's a way. Are we in it? I don't know if the podcast listeners will know, but a few weeks ago we did that promo with public trusts

that do the wills and other, I don't know what else they do. Mostly trusting. Trusts. Oh, yeah. They do trusts. They do classes on how to trust the public as well. They'll be in the public. They also will deal with pubic issues.

Yeah. Sometimes if you forget to put the L in, pubic trust. Okay, yeah, right. It's important to have pubic trust, isn't it? So many people Kept ringing up And asking for pubic trust And they're like

We'll just do it then We'll just We'll just branch out But so I They gave us a free will And I was like Well this is great Because you know

I love saving money I'm a bit of a tight ass Yeah I didn't do it You didn't do it I didn't do it I mean you should really do it Because you have a fiance And quite a large

You know House together I've got a large mortgage. I don't care who that gets left to. If you're dead, you don't care. Nah, stuff it. But I was like, well, it's free. I'm going to do it.

But then I did it. And then they kept sending me email reminders like, you have six days to upload your will and get it signed. Oh, God. And then it was like, you've got three days. And then I get the email I get the email I'm having drinks With friends on Friday

You weren't there I wasn't You were in New Plymouth Otherwise I feel like I was being beamed in Yeah we were Oh my god It's a lot of Prosecco

And then I'm on Halfway through the night I get this email Like you've got a day To upload your will This is so unlike you By the way Well I

You very much Deal with something This is You're like Big Vaughn. Well, you very much deal with something. This is your big vaughn here. Big vaughn energy. Yeah, but what I needed to do was I needed two witnesses to sign this will. Can I get a witness? And I did think about bringing it into work.

But then you guys might have, I didn't trust you enough. You might have added a clause. Am I still executor? No. Fuck. What? Are you not the executor of clause. Am I still executor? No. Fuck! What? Are you not the executor of the will? I thought I was executor of the will. You can't be trusted.

Zach and I. Is Zach the executor? No. Is it James? You can't be trusted. That motherfucker. Is it James? So I'm like, I've got this time constraint now of you've got a day to upload your will.

I've got two friends there that I'm drinking with. How drunk are you at this point? Because I know how quickly. Very. Yes. Drunk. Very drunk. He's a pussy little bitch.

He's not a pussy little bitch, but he can tuck it away. I read this email, and I'm like, guys. Guys. Gather round. Gather round. We have to sum it up. No, we're not that drunk, but a little. Yeah.

And so I'm like, and then they're like, wait, can we do this when we're drunk? No one's witnessing. But they're witnessing. Yeah, but they're drunk. It doesn't matter. Semi-drunk. And so I'm like, okay, guys, with your best handwriting, fill out your name and you've got to initial the pages because I had it printed out and then we did it.

Wait, is it Mike and James? Yeah They're sensible people They are flighty homosexuals They're sensible people They are flighty You're upset James is going to be James is moving

My bet is James is going to be Living in London this time next year I don't know if he will be He might be He might be But it doesn't And you know what How's he going to

Execute the will from over there? And then Mike's getting Mike, like it or not, Matt's dragging him to South Island. And then you're going to die. No way. And then, yeah, they'll move down there. We're going to lose our friendship. Our friend group's going to go a bit smaller.

And then you're going to die. But I won't care. And you're going to be fucked. I'm not here. It should be us. It should be us. I'm not going anywhere Do you think Vaughn would embezzle a little bit?

Fuck yeah No Take a little You're not helping You're not helping the issue He would He's got embezzlement written all over him Can executor of the world

Pay themselves a wage to deal with it? Here we go Did you do special things like Who gets your staff? No I don't care about that But I want the Okay I want the What do you want? I want the

Explorers, the Simon Lewis Ward Explorers. Oh, the... Yep, yep. The what? What were you going to say? You were going to say the Eskimos, weren't you? No, I was going to say the statues. They're called Explorers. They're called Explorers. We don't call them that. I want the bar cart, but can me and Vaughn split the bar cart?

Because there'll be things that he'll want and I don't want. Yeah, he won't want the sweet stuff Yeah what are you going for Can I have the blender Do you want all the stuff in the bottom drawer The bottom drawer in the bedroom No the kitchen Tea towels, scales

There's a stick blender Where's your cat going Put down He's coming with me James would take the cat. I'm hoping I'm going to outlive my cat. Especially that inbred thing. He's living fast.

He's living hard and fast. He's either going to die tomorrow or live forever. Yeah. Oh, well. So we're not in it. Interesting. Well, am I in yours? I don't have one.

I don't know. Am I your executor? I don't know. I don't think I'm going to have one. If I was going to pick someone to be an executor, it would definitely be you. I almost feel like you. Shaday and I. Well, the girls are't know. I haven't had one. If I was going to pick someone to be an executor, it would definitely be you. I almost feel like you. Shut up.

Well, the girls are coming to live with you. Absolutely not. For the school zoning alone. For the school zoning. Yeah, yeah. They want to go to ACG Sutherland or whatever it is. When do kids who live in central Auckland go to school? I don't know.

It always blows my mind. In the middle of the city, there's that one over there. Don't send them over there. That's full of Catholic s***. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Don't send them over there. That's full of Catholic... Wow! Wow. Wow. When you were Catholic... Oh, I was a Presbyterian...

I was a Catholic wannabe... I was just a public pool... A public pool boy... Oh! The public pool boys are... A public school boy... Yeah. A public school boy...

Wow. Are we allowed to say... No, I don't think we are. I boy Are we allowed to say No I don't think we are I think you're allowed to say it about yourself Maybe bleep the part where I said it about other people Oh maybe Someone wants my monstera Yeah she can have my monstera Yeah it's a good monstera but I don't need any more of that

Jared wants your robot painting That's a pretty cool painting Can I have your apartment? I'm going to have to tell the execut executive of my will that all of these things... Who's getting your apartment? We're splitting it. I'm just leaving it. Me and Vaughn have big mortgages.

Dude, how cool would that be if you just left it and so it just sat empty and no one knew what to do with it and then one day some urban explorer's like, there's a room under one of the apartments in this building. I don't know why he's Australian. It's been opened for a hundred years. A hundred years. And then it's like that apartment at the Eiffel Tower. They break in and it's like this perfect time capture.

Oh, yeah. I think, though, that the- And your mummified cat's in the corner. The body court would sell it if you stopped paying your bills. Oh, your body court. Yeah. Fucker. We'll just leave enough money in the account to cover that.

I don't know how much that is. That seems fair, though, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. Okay. Yeah. Oh, cool. Well, I can't wait for you to die for us to find out.annon wants 240 in your will is that why do you want 240 don't ask why do you want that for it was a typo i meant oh it was a typo i meant to put 20 but then the

four slipped in and now i would like 240 please i've had four slip in before Jesus Where? Yeah you are quite loose though I think two I don't know where else I was getting a massage They'd use a lot of oil And then You know how they get They get right up there

In the gluteus And then Just the whole thing slipped Slippity dippity Yeah it would have been five But they were in amputee I like doing this And then she got a massage And then I goes to a massage

And then I have a thumb How is this going to work? They're just kneading you with a flat hand Oh no you need a thumb My guy gets in there with his elbow quite a bit My girl gets in there with her knees Climbs up here and holds onto a rope above me Knees mate I still go to the strippers for your massage then? Yeah yeah yeah Gotta give them a little money honey My girl gets in there with her knees. Climbs up there and holds onto the rope above me. Oh, yeah.

Knees me. I still go to the strippers for your massage then? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Gotta give them a little money, honey. Support the gals. Are we out here supporting the girls tonight? Yes, especially the one without a thumb.

Yeah. She finds it hard to climb the rope because she's got no grip. No opposable thumbs. She's got no grip. The opposable grip. She keeps slipping down. Yeah, she's looping like that That with a bit of lube

On a rope You're never getting up that thing Yeah Alright Happy days See ya