ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 21st February 2024

Episode Date: February 20, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; The gang take their measurements!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod Great things are brewing at McCafe, the perfect start to every day Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod Photoshoot coming up in a couple of weeks Yeah, and we were given a lot of warning about this photoshoot And I've done absolutely all about it They said, when do you want to do your photoshoot for the new imagery for the year? And we said as late as possible

And so we managed to secure the latest date of the the end of february yeah so that we could all get shredding and facial reconstruction facial reconstruction and that talk well everything just find out the right amount of filler yeah overboard i knew it i could see any cheekbones it's just the right amount no this is natural filler this is called eating and drinking too much and probably having a blood pressure issue. Is it puff? It's puff. I'm retaining. Wow.

I'm retaining. You are getting your lips done. You've got a couple of weeks to get your lips. Yep. I'm going to get my lips done too, but all of them. So yesterday, we were, yesterday afternoon, we were emailed by Ross Boss who said, oh, look, they're going to find clothes and someone's going to sort out what you're going to wear. I personally, I fucking hate when they do this.

I'm going to go with some decorative paisley collared shirt. And I'm going to be like, oh, this is for you, Vaughn, because you're a big boy. And I'll say, shut the fuck up. And then I'll be in a bad mood and I will ruin the photo shoot. And then there's always someone, we've got a different hat for you. And I'm like, it's not going to fit. It's not going to fit. I'll tell you right now, it's not going to fit.

Well, just try it. That's my least favorite. That's not going to fit. That's a going to fit. I'll tell you right now, it's not going to fit. Well, just try it. That's my least favourite. That's not going to fit. That's a size smaller. One of you two are going to have to not wear a hat. But we're the hat boys.

I always wear a hat. But then we look like chemo patients. I don't look like chemo, but they always make me take off the hat because I've got the beard so I don't look like

a Winnowish kid. But when Fletch goes in the hat, that poor, poor boy is so sick because he doesn't have dark eyebrows. He doesn't. We have to goes in the hat, that poor, poor boy is so sick. He's got cancer. Because he doesn't have dark eyebrows. He doesn't.

We have to fill in the brows, hon. Oh, no. They let that do that. They can do that in post. The last photo shoot we had in the arcade, I was suffering from the worst back pain I've ever had in my life. I remember that. You could barely walk.

Barely. They'd be like, stand over there. And I'd be like. The whole thing was. And it was a 35 minute drive to get there in traffic. And they were like, smile. And I was like, I will fucking end this. So Rospo sent an email saying he needs all of our sizes.

But it's not just like medium size 12 shoes and waist. It's like chest centimeter measurement. Under the armpits. Waist. Height. Ideal top size. Ideal pants size And I'm like

Ideal is what we wish we were Or ideal is what would fit us best Because ideal would be like a 32 So I said in the group chat Does anyone have one of those fabric Yes And you do No this is mine

Oh this is yours Why don't you have one of these It's got a butterfly on the end I do not know where that came from I want to say a Christmas cracker, but it's too high quality. No, no, no. The Christmas cracker ones, I know them. They're shit.

No, this is the same one we've got. It's a... What do you call them? Like a sewing tape measure. Yeah, it's a tape measure. Yeah, it's a soft tape measure. I didn't even know. Jared in the group chat was like,

why don't you just use a string and then measure the string? I was like, that is fucking genius. But I, I was, you know, I was solo man. So I needed you Haley to do the chest. Oh my God.

We've just found out something that is incredibly shocking. So we've got, um, producer Shannon. We've all done it. We've all done our measurements. Producer Shannon, who, um, may I say, um, we've all done our measurements producer Shannon who

may I say sports a fantastic set of tits okay she said it she said it I didn't know that she could say that I wasn't expecting that just a wonderful voluptuous breast

she sports a fabulous set of my god I thought you were going to say it. I got excited. No, because that's just basically evidence for HR. But, you know, tell me I'm wrong. They're fabulous. So we were measuring ourselves and I gave you your number and you were like, oh yeah.

So around my chest, under my armpits, I'm a metre one. Yeah, basically. Under my armpits I'm a metre One Yeah basically So if you were to go and buy a jacket You'd buy Because that's the jacket That's where they If you go to Hellenstein's Or wherever

And you're like I want a one oh No You wouldn't be that size I thought you say Like you're a forty something But that must be inches That's inches

That's inches around your That's just the inches version Of a hundred and one I know Because Hellenstein's doesn't Because I recently bought one and they're like, oh, we're going to, I'll put you in 108. And I went, you bitch.

Because I'm pretty sure I've been in 90 something at some stage. Right. I do have some fat tits on me. Men's suit sizing is so bizarre to me. Yeah. Like that is, that's a whole tape measure. But you were confused because you were like,

I'm a, I'm a meter. And then we, the girlies got involved because we've got appendages. I'm 108, so I'm bigger there. I was 109. You're 109. Got fat tits on me.

And then Shannon came in and she's like, what measurement? And we're all just like, I think we've got a winner. And you're the same measurement as Fletch. To the centimeter. To the centimeter, but you've got a lovely set of cojones I've got size E breasts so do they mean I'm size E? I'm E cup

you have E size boobs congratulations you'd be a triple A a battery you'd be a triple A trainer bra but with a broader back ah right okay and then we realized then then you

don't know where your fucking waist is which is bizarre no i just thought it was where the pants ended and hayley's like it's the smallest part smallest part yeah oh okay this is highway so you do it around the smallest part for women which is more obvious because we go in more and so then i did your waist and i'm 88cm Which is the same measurement as Jared's chest I'm a small lad He's a little 88 chest So I'm like Shannon and Jared combined What size jeans do you get

On like a 32 What about you Jared 28 I always wonder who wears the 28's It's me You've got to be fucking kidding me There's always 28's. It's me. Why is there 28s on the rack? You've got to be fucking kidding me. Who's always... There's always 28s and 36s.

Yes. On the rack. There's never 32s. 38s. There's never 32s. Yeah. 28s are too long for me, though, so I always have to roll up the cuff. Oh, yeah.

You've got to get a long, trendy lap. Okay. Roll that guy up. I just can't believe that if you rolled me out, I'm a metre. It's around my chest. If you were to butterfly you... If you were to butterfly you if you were to butterfly fillet me

I'd be a metre wide that just blows my mind I know you don't know where it goes eh but it's all there ooh but can you imagine if you butterflied me it would just be like

yeah you'd have to go from the back I don't think I would butterfly you I'd slow roast your breast up you'd have

yeah so no because then you'd get the the I don't mean to speak, this is just a factual thing, titties are mostly a fat, and so then the fat would render through the meat of the ribs. He's trying to render your beautiful voluptuous breast. I'm rendering the fat through the ribs, and you're going to just get that, if we're eating, we're eating, you know what I'm saying? Again, I think this is quite problematic, and again, evidence for HR.

I'm going to need, with my fat, a sear on each side and then put me in the oven. I'm slow cooking you. I'm going to sear you right at the end. I'm going to reverse sear you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crisp you up. Are we flirting? I know what's happening.

Crisp you up. I think this is what they call cannibal flirting. Yeah, wow. I'll reverse sear you. You can just chuck me in the microwave. You're a quick sear. You're microwave for 30 seconds You're a quick sear You're a quick sear You're a schnitzel, dude

I'm going to crumb you and only give you the shortest time And some shallow fry