ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod -21st Jan 2026

Episode Date: January 20, 2026

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Fletch's passport sitch...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the Zedium podcast network, it's Fletchfallen and Haley's Little Bit of Pod. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. Well, over my travel, my extensive summer travel, I received the dreaded, and you may have seen like these videos pop up on social media, if your boarding pass says S-S-S-S, what does it mean? What does it mean? I got that. I got the four S's. It means you're a slivery little slug.

It means you're a slivery. Sluddy Sexy Slutty Slytherin. Yeah. No, it means I actually don't know

exactly what it means It means Basically you get A secondary security screening And it's for flights To the USA No anus No anus.

There was no anus Oh that's a shame But I have had this before And you can either be A completely random B weird travel patterns And because you're coming to America They're like

Oh where's this guy's been all over the place I had it once when my flight got cancelled I quickly jumped online booked a flight two hours before it departed And they were like And they were like well that's what a terrorist would do He's running away Or he's coming to America with kind of your ulterior motives

But so I had this And so you go through normal airport security And then either after that They'll give you an extra pat down And you know the swamble over? Yeah the drug swab Yeah so I had this at the gate I got called to the gate

and they had a swab machine. They went through my bag. Anus? No, anus swab. Sorry, I'm just kidding. You can't get in to see when the anus comes into this story. You know that one that they rub it over everything and they inserted it into the machine? Oh, yeah, the explosives test.

And so he did this. He did my bag. He did my body, my hands, put it in the machine. It was fine. He was like, do you have any electronics? And I was like, yeah, I've got an iPad. Yeah. So I've got to have my iPad.

And like, I don't know about you, but my laptop and iPad, I never cleaned them. Never. Dude, I've been looking at mine. Mine, mine are fair roll. Like bread crumbs. Food bits. Food bits. Yeah. Dust.

Dusts everything. Chocolate. So my iPad keyboard, my... Jizz! Probably Jizz! Probably Jizz! Probably Jizz! Probably Jizz.

Just by a sort of a rule of thumb. There'd be just somewhere. I don't know. And so I took it out and I opened it up so the keyboards there on the iPads there and he swabs the keyboard, he swabs the thing, puts it in the machine. And it goes fucking red. Positive for Jiz. Up on the screen, all the letters I see are TNT.

And I was like, the fuck. TNT isn't it? Like, cartoon explosives? Because I'm TNT. Yeah, that's dynamite. So they, this was out of Columbia into America. And they did not speak a word of English to the security staff. And they were, oh, I was just looking at them like, what?

And I was just like, what the fuck is on my iPad? And so they were like, the one woman spoke tiny, like, phrases of English. and she's like, do you have medications? Oh. Have you been touching medications? And I was like, well, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, you know, I had sleeping pills and, you know, a couple of it.

And I'd just been on those antibiotics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I, like, had to give them a list of every medication I had. And then they were like, okay, so you can go. Well, these are the Colombians. Oh, shit. Yeah, these are the Colombians. They've been picky about medication.

Interesting. Well, no, because maybe that shows up in the test. Yeah. And because you might take a pill in the morning and then you touch your laptop. Wow. That's sensitive. Isn't that insane? Did they rummage through everything or once you'd kind of told them that it was...

No, they'd already rummaged through everything. Anyway, so it was still like an hour... Did you have anything embarrassing in there? No, no, it was good. Unlike you, where you'd be swabbing a whole lot of dillies and stuff. Jesus Christ. Do you think it is, they test the electronics because it is the thing you're most likely to touch? It's the thing that you would have explosives in, like...

Hidden in the... Yeah, like people have hidden them in like laptops when they used to be... Like now I just don't think you would be able to. Whereas back in the day laptops were like, you know, two inches thick. Fat little breaths. You could probably, you know, chuck a lot of stuff in there. But so I had like an hour and a half until my next, until my flight left. And I was like, the fuck I'm going into America with some laptop that's raising some flags on some machines.

So I don't, went into that, like a massive pharmacy in the, it was called Alchemistow warehouse. And so I went in, in there. Thank you. And I brought an alcohol spray. and antibacterial wipes and I sprayed all of my electronics. They were so clean. Oh, I need to do that. I've been travelling a bit and it's, yeah, it's mud. I think you can get special wipes for them

because you probably shouldn't be spraying your keyboards. I just use Ajax. I just go, strain the keyboards. Agass spray and wipe. Yeah, straight into the keys and just absolutely give it a sweep. Yeah.