ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 21st September 2023

Episode Date: September 20, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Vaughan's in Welly!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fletchbourne and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with MyMacka's Rewards. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. And today, Vaughan, you're in Wellington. Capital City. My favourite place. You know who they speak of fondly down here.

Hayley Sproul. Not Hayley Sproul. Haven't heard the name mention once. Tried it with Beautiful. Haven't heard the name mention once. Last time I was in Arangiora, though. They did have a A plaque up saying Birthplace

And very important Secret birthplace Of Hayley Jane Sproul Who do they speak Highly of in Wellington Public servants Oh yeah they do Yeah they do

Because they're all They are all public servants They're all speaking Highly of themselves Because they don't want Their heads on the Chopping block Yeah

If the government changes They're like Not us Leave me be. I know I'm in Wellington because my auntie is getting a QSM, the Queen's Service Medal for services to netball. Why are you...

You don't need to go to this. Why are you doing this? She asked me if I would like one of her tickets as a representative of my father's side of the family. My father will be there. And she's got two brothers, Uncle Roger and Ian, who's my father, and her name's Sylvia. Do you have an Uncle Roger? I've got an Uncle Roger. He reminds me of that

Chinese guy who does the Uncle Roger reviews. He reviews Asian cooking. Uncle Roger. My Uncle Roger doesn't have nearly the expansive palate of that culinary delight. Absolutely not. Sometimes, you know, if the bread's too brown it's a bit too spicy.

He's got big white bread energy. What do you call these? Linceed? Yeah, see? Oh, should they burn? They burn on the way down? So, yeah, I'm unwilling to go to the QSM ceremony.

Why are you? I just don't see the point of this. Your dad could have gone. Well, it's a very good idea. Yeah, it's until he doesn't have any kids. Netball's kind of been a child and it's a proud moment. Also, you can tell us how it works for when we all get ours.

For services to... To entertainment. You have to not be nominated. I've learned this. There was a nomination process. You want a nomination? Nah. Nah.

Nah. Nah. So what, do you have to go to events and stuff? Well, I'm going to, yeah, yeah, yeah, a couple of events today at Government House. I'm off to Government House for a sauna. Oh, God, you're going to be a nosy prick, aren't you? You're going to be looking around everywhere. You're wearing a suit?

Yeah, I'm wearing a suit. Corn, you look good in a suit. I'm wearing a suit and a tie. I tried on some suits the other night. Oh, God. That's a roll of the dice, isn't it? Yeah. Why I bought so many suits at my skinniest, I don't know.

I think I was very pleased with how I looked in a suit. I always do this. You're like, this is the new me. This is the me I will be forever. Yeah, I'm going really well at the moment. I don't know I think I was very pleased with how I looked in a suit. You're like this is the new me this is the me I will be forever. Yeah I'm going really well at the moment. I'm eating well I'm training. Picked up a pair of pants that said 82 on it and I said that'll be ambitious and I think I got about 70%

of the way up before 82 wasn't happening. 82 is probably your big dick that stops it going all the way up. Huge dick, massive dumper. Did you try to tuck it because your massive cock just always blocks it? It was weighing down. He used to do a tuck and I can still see that thing in the jeans every day. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thanks, guys. I needed that because it definitely wasn't my gunt. The pants would not go over. And then found the suit that we wore to a wedding, the wedding we went to in April. May. May. And Wanaka.

And Wanaka. And I had not dry cleaned that. That had mud around the- Oh, Vaughan. But the great thing was it had been so long and we've been running a dehumidifier in our wardrobe since we found a tiny bit of mold at the back. The mud was so dry, it just like literally flaked off.

Was this the wedding in which you punched yourself in the jaw? It was the wedding. Dental surgery. Fell off the bus completely sober and punched myself in the face and needed dental work afterwards. But yeah, that still fits, which is good. You're going to a government house. Correct.

You're going to a government house for a big ceremony with muddy suit pants. No, no, no. I wiped them with the Exelo. I got a new dishcloth out from under the sink because the one that I was going to use, I just wiped a whole lot of grease down with. So I didn't want the greasy mark on the pants. Right. Pants,

pants, parents. And yeah, I'm ready to go. And I don't know what's government house like have you ever been yeah i have i've had dinner there once it's nice it was part of a shakespeare thing and i was representing because i was the winner of the peter veer jones award for outstanding performance it's richard the third pause for applause richard the third it's a revered performance but i've told you this before richard the third usually has um excuse me don't say it was a he's a revered performance. But that's a bloke. I've told you this before. Richard III usually has... Excuse me. Don't say he's a bloke.

We're not sure of the preferred pronouns. We actually don't know. Long dead. He could not have been a bloke. But remember that Richard III had very deformed features. Famously a with an arm and a hump. So that's why they chose you. That's the one they found buried under a carpet.

Yes, they did. My Richard III had a sore knee. I wasn't committed to the physical performance. I wanted more the intellectual side of Richard. Yeah, right. So I went there. It's nice. Yeah, that's a good Richard you've got there.

Yeah, hello? It's a bit Igor. Should I do this at Government House today? Yeah. Tis not the noblest man van Vijnvalst leading. Oh, my God, Your poor fucking auntie I know She's gonna be so embarrassed

She's gonna be like Oh my god I chose this Cuck to be I'm here for my Shakespearean award Oh god Yeah

So anyway And I'm here tomorrow too Cause I was like It's late The last part of it's late I'm like I'll fucking have a sandwich Over the weekend

And eat a lot of meat Tomorrow night With my best mate Vaughn booked these two These two days away and then told Ross. Ross Ross. And I tell you what, Ross was not happy about it.

You're in trouble. What are you going to do? What are you going to do, you know? We miss you dearly. Yeah, oh, it's like I can see your face, you know? It's like I'm there with you guys in spirit, body, and massive ****. Bleep that, bleep that. Not happy with it, not happy with it. It's all right when she says you guys. In spirit, body, and massive. Bleep that. Bleep that.

Bleep that. Not happy with it. Not happy with it. It's all right when she sees it. Bleep that. Bleep that. I shouldn't have grabbed it. It's tiny, by the way.