ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 23rd July 2024

Episode Date: July 22, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Hayley is considering something...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Porn Great things are brewing at McCafe The perfect start to every day Welcome to A Little Bit of Porn Now I've mentioned in passing numerous times actually That I'm going to get a titty lift And I've told you, haven't I? Don't go to Turkey, they'll take my only kidney

They'll take your remaining kidney And if they went and took my kidney If they came in on the left side And thought we'll just take one, I'll die because there's nothing on the right. So jokes on them. Jokes on them, I'm dead. You should get a tattoo

that says... I should get a tattoo on my good side and say don't take this kidney. It's the only one. This is the only kidney I've got. I love that. Thank you. I should do that actually. Maybe I will consider it. I'm going to get a titty lift. Because I always said I'd age gracefully and it's happening now. So I said I'd age gracefully when I wasn't really aging.

Yeah. And it's happening now. And they're a bit soft and sad. And I was like, I'm going to get a boobie lift at 40. And now that's moving. I'm turning 35 this year. Yeah. That's moving more. I'm turning 35 this year. Yeah. That's moving more.

I might do it next year. And I was looking into it, and it is extreme. Like, actually how they do it is really intense. There's different ways they can do it. They can remove your whole nipple, cut down the thing and under, then remove, like, it's, I know. I was just sort of like, pick it up from the shoulder. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just pinch it at the top. And then put the scar like pick it up from the shoulder you know yeah and then put the scar but just on the back of the shoulder clip at the back yeah just wear top like that cover it up it's very involved and i started getting a little bit like oh no about it then i read about the vampire breast lift now you will remember that i got the vampire hair treatment done in my head where they took out my blood and they injected my blood, the plasma, into my head. Painful? Oh, one of the worst things I've ever done. But it worked.

It worked. And it helps your hair grow back if you're, you know, not too far gone. Do you see the way she just looked at me? I just want to, I saw this like glimmer of hope, you know, because mullets are so fashionable at the moment. And I know that you guys have been wishing you could get on the mullet trend. But you can do a vampire breast lift where they take out your blood and they inject it in the top bits and it sort of perks them up a bit and lifts them and it can last like 12 to 24 months.

That doesn't sound good. That also sounds painful. Vampire boob lift. Yeah, it's a thing and you can get it done. You can get it done in New Zealand. And I was like, shall I do this? Is that insanity? To get my own blood injected into my tattas.

How much does it cost? But it's not going to. What is money? Do you know what I mean? It's what I use? When it comes to It's what I use to feed my family Right I exchange it for goods and services

How does it actually lift though? Yeah It's not going to actually Do what you want it to do Well it does say Look it can't completely Like if you had like Maybe post breastfeeding breasts

It wouldn't do it Right But it can like tighten them up Get them up a little bit. I only need a little bit up. Is this insanity? I've seen some fire post-breastfeeding breasts. Okay.

Yeah, but your wife's petite. I've had a blowout. I've had a two-year blowout in which I went from itty-bitty titties to some delicious breasticles. Yeah, well. But the skin has paid the ultimate price. That's what we've seen from the Taskmaster shoot.les. Yeah, well. But the skin has paid the ultimate price. That's what we've seen from the Taskmaster shoot.

Jesus. The tits. The tits. The tits on that thing. I know. Sade said, that's such a lovely photo, the tits.

The tits. I know. Is she leaving any tits for anybody else? Yeah, I know. It's heavy in the tits. It's a lot. I don't know what to say

about this. Big tits. Say something about her tits. What about when I took that don't know what to say about this. Big tits. Say something about her tits. What about when I took that photo, I took my top off with Big Hearted James. Remember when we were away and I was like, I'll cover my nipples. And then suddenly we sent it to the group

and everyone was like, the tits on this thing. The huge melons. But it comes at a price, you know. What would you give her tits out of 10? Go on. I'm not going to do that. Go on, write the tits out of 10. Look them in the eye.

Well, they're down. The eyes are going down That's the problem That's the problem And then people will be like Oh they look fine You know for a woman in her 40s But I'm like

I haven't had kids And I'm in my 30s And I'm in my 30s Well maybe I'll get my blood Shoved into them Before I go to Turkey Right But before I go to Turkey

I will wear the tits Where does it in New Zealand? It's just like everywhere The same places that will do The hair The facials Is it the same machine? Same thing Your like everywhere The same places that will do the The hair Is it the same machine? Same thing Your tits is going to be like a pin cushion

Yeah dude Apparently Can you imagine how much it would have hurt Getting like a handful of pins in the nips Oh no thanks Actually it could be quite hot actually Well depending on what you're into I'm into rough nipple play

But I feel Not just Don't come at it with it I'm going to end the podcast here I know you've got to say something nice about her tits

giving or receiving hang on pause we'll come back to a nice comment receiving and giving I'm not being told to pull back on the giving aspect of it

you like to receive but I've not I've not yet hit the end of the the scale for how rough I can take it okay let's end this

okay I'm a good Christian boy this whole podcast I was just hoping you would say anything about her breasts because I was just going to turn it into a pile-on. But you weren't. He wouldn't play the game.

I won't play. I said horrendous things, and I was going to completely navigate the ship onto the rocks. I'll send you a picture of them, and then you can rate them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We are not doing this. We are not doing this. Do you reckon if I get a breast lift, I should have a party in which I get them out So we can all see them before and after

This podcast I listen to called We're Here To Help Jake Johnson from New Girl and Gareth Reynolds A comedian who's been on a bunch of podcasts I've listened to People ring in with their problems And this woman was like I'm having a breast lift Is it ridiculous that I want to have a party And they're like what's the party involved

The party was literally she walked around with her tits out It was like I paid a fortune for these And everyone got a feel have a party. Yeah. And they're like, what's the party involved? The party was literally she walked around with her tits out. Yeah. It was just like. It was like, I paid a fortune for these. Oh, afterwards. Yeah, everyone got a feel. Oh, I'd do it before. Do you know what I mean?

To farewell the old ones. To farewell the old gals. Oh, yeah, right. Like a goodbye. But then you could do a welcome to the neighborhood. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I'll do a bit of both. I'll do a bit of both. And then I'll do both parties and then Fletch can come along.

And then after he sees them in the eye. I'm busy that weekend. We'll rate a bit of both. And then I'll do both parties, and then Fletch can come along, and then after he sees them in the eye. I'm busy that weekend. We'll rate them out of 10. Both weekends. We'll rate them out of 10. I don't think any of the gays are turning up to this party either. Yes, they would. Yes, they would love it.

Gays love, like, they love breasts. Gays love breasts. Yeah. Do they? Because they're so fun. They're like, what a novelty. But they're just like, look at what you've got. Men love these, and I love men. That's what they've got in common with breasts're like, what a novelty. But they're just like, look at what you've got. Men love these and I love men.

That's what they've got in common with breasts. Okay, right. Yeah. Anyway, wish my breasts. The least you could do is wish them good luck. I wish your breasts good luck. Oh! I can't believe you did that.

I can't believe you did that. I actually feel really violated. I can't believe you wished her breasts good luck. You're some sort of fucking pervert. Oh, my God. Wish her breasts good luck. Geez, why don't you let her drive a car and vote as well? Oh, my God.

I am more than my breasts. I've always said it. I'm more than my breasts. I have opinions. Yeah, and a fat ass. Thank you. Give it out of 10, Fletch.