ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 23rd June 2023

Episode Date: June 22, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; A fair few Trigger Warnings, followed by Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley opening up some risque mail!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Download the MyMaccas app and use your points towards a coffee. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. A little trigger warning here. Well, what we've done is we've recorded Little Bit of Pod. Yes. Standard recording of Little Bit of Pod. It got a bit out of hand.

It got a little bit out of hand. It got very sexy. So let's just do a trigger warning here. If resealable plastic bags and the environment offend you. Yeah. If that's one of your

triggers I'd skip this one. I'd skip this podcast. If you don't like dolphins in general. Or dolphins being harmed by resealable plastic bags.

Skip this one. Skip this one. And if you've got kids in the room I wouldn't listen to this in front of kids. And if you don't like massive dicks Skip this podcast

Do we need to go there now and trigger warning the trigger warning? Do we need to trigger warn the trigger warning? We'll do that We'll go ahead and trigger warn the trigger warning Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod This is a trigger warning for the following trigger warning Okay, so we recorded A Little Bit of Pod as per usual Which you'll hear very soon

And at the end of it it got a bit risque So we went back to record a trigger warning Now we recorded a little bit of pod as per usual, which you'll hear very soon. And then at the end of it, it got a bit risque, so we went back to record a trigger warning. Now, we recorded the trigger warning. But Vaughn... Now we've gone back again to tell you about the trigger warning. Now, we do this because Hayley mentioned the word cock. We may need to trigger warning the trigger warning. You can't keep saying cock in the trigger warning for the trigger warning. Okay, one more time.

Welcome to a little bit of pod. Now, this is a trigger warning. A tri for the trigger warning. Okay, one more time. Welcome to a little bit of pod. Now, this is a trigger warning. A triplicate trigger warning. Yes. It's a trigger warning for the trigger warning for the episode. For the episode. We recorded a little bit of pod, and it got a bit out of hand. Everyone kept saying the C-O-C.

You finished the word. No, that's enough. I didn't finish the word. People can spell. It could be Coachella. Yeah. No, it's not. Coachella, C-O-A-C-H-E-L word. People can spell. It could be Coachella. Yeah. No, it's not. It's Coachella, C-O-A-C-H-E-L-L-E.

You can't say Cockchella. Now we're going to have to trigger warning. The trigger warning is trigger warning, trigger warning. Welcome to a little bit of pod. No, hang on. Men, shut up. Welcome to a little bit of pod with Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. This is the trigger warning, trigger warning, trigger warning, trigger warning for the podcast

because we keep on saying a naughty word. If there are children in the room, please get them away and listen to this extra loud Because we keep talking about I won't say it Hello, welcome to a little bit of pod Now, we have just recorded several trigger warnings For a triggering little bit of pod But apparently we've gone on too long

So this is now a trigger warning That there will be an ad break during the trigger warning Or this little bit of pod So is this an ad warning or a trigger warning that there will be an ad break during the trigger warning or this little bit of pod so is this an ad warning or a trigger warning for the trigger warning it's a both it's an ad

and trigger warning warning system yes just I think a general warning the pod cart the little bit of pod went a little skew if

yes it did we then tried to record you'll hear all this because I think we explained it every single time we're doing a trigger warning every time all you need to know is

this might not be there's going to be an ad break in it, and this might not be the best episode for little ears. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Welcome to a little bit of pod on this, do I say auspicious day? What does auspicious mean? Just like a big day, a big monumental day. Yeah, like a monumental day.

Is it like you're suspicious about this day? No, it's not. Conducive to success and favorable, giving or being a sign of future success, characterized by success. What's the opposite? Can you put opposite of? Opposite of auspicious.

Auspicious is auspicious. Auspicious. Like A-U-S. Like austerity. Auspicious. Opposite. And that just means opposite. I think they're too similar to mean completely the opposite. Yeah, right.

That's ridiculous. Anyway, it's a great day because it's my birthday. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to you. You fat old bitch whoa wow he is by far the most in shape in this show

I had a great weigh in on my fitness pal actually did you? I've been at my goals nearly at my goal congratulations can I show you my fitness pal because I looked at that the other day where's the is it profile or something where it's got your weight thing? The graph? Do you guys

take the photos so that you can do the before or after? Nope, don't want the photos We don't want that still anywhere Oh hon! You know what I wish that was the New Zealand dollar against the US Oh I know, that's when I first ever started going to the gym Here's me in peak marching time

Here's a me Heading up to heaven You've had some real up and downs there I'm a fluctuator What's the time difference there? Three years, a year, one month? God if that was one month The time difference here is like five years

Okay so it's five years Mine's like this is this year There's up and downs I haven't weighed myself for over a year. These ups are mostly after we have a cocktail weekend. Well, I'm not taking responsibility for that. You're your own man. You've got to have fun, though.

You've got to live. You've got to live. You've got to have fun. Yeah, exactly. Well, we've also received a package on your birthday here. Oh, okay. This is for this occasion from Brian. I had a heads up about this.

Brian's had packages on the way. This has been FedExed. Brian's been a listener For many years Many years Lives in Los Angeles At the moment I believe it's pronounced You're going to Los Angeles

And he sent me some great things To do in Anaheim, California Which is I believe His neck of the woods Well God I didn't know people Actually lived in Anaheim Right

And on top of this You've just opened You think it's massive Anaheim Yeah I know but you know what I mean It's sort of a weird place to live Yeah You've just opened the box

And got a pride flag And you've put this on my computer monitor I put the pride up on the monitor there That's fantastic So let everybody know High and happy pride month from LA Says Brian Yeah because it's pride month

Oh happy pride I'm proud every month Keeping in theme with that And Fletcher's birthday coming up I semi-drunkenly purchased some fun cute things When thinking about you guys This will probably be the last So why not go out with a big bang?

Why is it the last? Is he dying? Does it say if he's dying? He probably just doesn't want to spend $100 or $50 or whatever this costs. Honestly, much appreciated. Never say never. Hostage is insane. Hayley.

Hi. Hello. Nice to meet you via written correspondence. Long-time listener friend of the show here and hope to meet you someday, as is tradition. Do you say long-time listener friend of the show? No hope to meet you someday as is tradition is it on do you say oh you said a long time we don't know it's got to be a long time listener first time call okay sorry as is tradition got some good smellies for you and the show thanks to the semi-annual bath and body works out enjoy their flagship japanese cherry blossom body spray

and the new gingham which we've used in the past a lot because Brian popped in once when he was working in New Zealand. And we use those to mask Vaughan's farts. At least for me. Farts, yes. Oh, wow, this is so American. Oh, yes. Oh, my God. Can I just say, stop, this brand of, what's the brand of this?

No, no, no, the bag that he's put it in. They are my favorite. SC Johnson's Zipbox? These are my favorite fucking bags. He gets really excited about this. No, because you know, Glad Bags, I'm going to say it, they're shithouse. Look at the doubles. You get a double.

Can you zip that back up the bag and tell me how great that is? It's like double. Shit, she's secure. Yeah, like, you know what I'm saying? That almost has got the same sort of seal as a vacuum. Yes. Oh, my God. And so now, like, I don't give a fuck about the planet

because I don't have kids, but these Ziploc bags, a little unpaid endorsement here by SC Johnson, a family company. Did they do Jared's talcum powder? That's Johnson & Johnson. Oh, that's Johnson & Johnson. A lot of Johnsons in there.

Is SC Johnson & Johnson & Johnson not related? I don't know if SC Johnson & Johnson & Johnson. A lot of Johnsons in there. Is the SC Johnson & Johnson & Johnson not related? I don't know if SC Johnson & Johnson & Johnson are related. All Johnsons are related if you chose it bad. Thank you. These are smelly and nice. Okay. SC Johnson & Johnson is a Wisconsin-based manufacturer of household products. Many recognizable brands, Ziploc, Windex, Glade, Pledge.

Lemon Pledge. They do Lemon Pledge. Lemon Pledge. Okay, so different. do Lemon Pledge. Lemon Pledge. Okay, so different. Johnson & Johnson is a completely separate company. A completely separate company. Okay, fantastic. Guys, I've absolutely filled the room with Sprite, but it's nice.

See, look, the air's in there. It's not getting out. These bags, and they sell them in New Zealand now. They're amazing. Okay, there you go. And then when you finish, you thumb it into a dolphin's hole or a turtle nose. I don't think you thumb it into a dolphin. Personally, I wouldn't thumb anything into a dolphin. I or a turtle nose I don't think you'd thumb it in personally

I wouldn't thumb anything into a dolphin I'd let them be yeah for the record for the record Vaude and Smith won't thumb it in a dolphin

he won't thumb it in a dolphin I'll happily go on record saying I won't thumb anything into a dolphin Hayley Hayley would you thumb anything into a dolphin

1000% man okay never say never what's the hole for thank you so much these sprays are very smelly and nice just got the room lovely anything into a dolphin? A thousand percent, man. Okay. Never say never. What's the hole for? Thank you so much. These sprays are very smelly and nice. Just got the room lovely. Brian then said,

born for an honorary gay straight ally man as yourself, a bearded bro mug for your big old bottom daddy fantasies while you're having your coffee. I guess this is the... Oh, that's a big mug. Bottoms up. Bottoms up, baby. Bottoms up.

I love that. That's very cool. Bottoms up. Oh my up, baby. Bottoms up. I love that. That's very cool. Bottoms up. Oh, my God. That's fantastic. Character to try. I cannot wait. Oh, my God.

I cannot wait next week when we get that on the camera. Shanley at the social media desk. Let's get that on the camera. Fantastic. Bottoms up, baby. Yes, that is great. There's another cup in here. There's another cup.

Okay. And then he goes on to say Fletch it's time Open what's in your black box And you're welcome in advance Couldn't have left you out And you can bring some of these Items to the gym

To help in whatever it is You do at the gym Oh my god Is it dildos? FOMO with FOMO Is the other cup That's good That's great

FOMO with FOMO We'll get those on the FOMO with FOMO And there's a A candle here Called St Colby And it's a A candle here Called St. Colby And it's a Barely dressed man

Right he's really Trying to He's really trying to Really trying to Turn you isn't he He's really He's probably heard About that time

He's not the first To have tried He's probably heard About that time You were at the Abbey And those Lesbians took a Shining to you

Right Until one of them Tried to bite me Oh my god Gifts It's like Christmas Oh my god I've just tried to

Open this one And I've broken the pen Where's your scissors Get the scissors scissors why do you use a pen to try to open it i don't know office max there you go not good pens pro art you open that up what is this oh my oh my god my friend has this book these are famous books the little big penis book yeah adults only i've got the breast one oh no there's some more stuff in there what is it The Little Big Penis Book Yeah Adults only Wow I'll take the rabbit I've got the breast one Oh wait there's some more stuff in there Oh there's a towel

What does the towel say on it? I'm not saying that out loud That's unbelievable How could you read that please That's not a gym tag He said I could take this to the gym You could definitely take that to the gym It's a type of rag

I'm not taking that to the gym This is a type of rag Add a pin It says cum rag. That's fine. Don't whisper it. Don't be ashamed. He won't thumb it in a turtle, but he'll say cum rag.

No, I won't thumb it in a turtle, but I'll say what's on a towel. Okay, I'm just going to open up a random. Dude, these books are amazing. Oh, stop acting so prudish. I've got the big book of boobs. What else? The same guy, Dan Hanson. That goes with it.

The big penis book. Jesus, these are some big penises. What else is in the box? Skeleton bones. Oh, these are underwears. Oh, that's nice. Thank you so much, Brian, for these lovely gifts. That will adore...

Jesus, I've nazzled. The producers can see that. Help me, help me. HR, HR, get HR on the phone. of Nazareth. The producers can see that. Help me. Help me. HR. HR. Get HR on the phone. There is a man with a full mast straddling a beer rug. Thank you so much for the gifts, Brian.

Lovely as always. And tiny balls. Sometimes the balls do get. They're such a big. Sometimes the balls tuck themselves in during that. That is a tiny set of balls. It's such a big... Big wank.

We need to go back and do a trigger warning on this. That's the size... That size of that penis is the bunch of bananas I'll aim for at the supermarket. You know when you see like a... If you're playing by the bunch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You get the biggest bunch. You get the biggest bunch you can.

Holy guacamole. That's pointing down, down bro it's like a police baton it's got that had a weird for context listener they're all like the 70s portraits yeah yeah so it's art i'll wait it's okay i've got i've hit this jesus hayley put it away the office can see i'm pretty sure i saw r Russia invading Ukraine with that thing. They were wheeling up behind a truck shooting things out of the sky with that absolute cannon between that man's legs.