ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 24th July 2023

Episode Date: July 23, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Hayley is heading to the Doctor!Disclaimer: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley are NOT trained medical professionals, medications should only be taken as it says on the label. Please do not rail a line of contraception.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with MyMackers Rewards. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. So... You alright? Just still had a little cough. Yeah, a little, a little, a little choky-woky.

So, the other day I called my doctor, right, because, you know, I try to avoid going in now. And ever since COVID you can do the phone appointments. I bloody love them. Are they cheaper or the same price? Same price. Half the time. Well, then why not just go on Ockers at the time? I don't have anybody driving in.

But then sometimes they need to see you. Yeah, they do. And you can't do a pap smear over the phone. For example. More, more, more. Now you do a FaceTime. They're like, deeper, more. More?

More? More? Give that a rummage around. Yeah. Now round the bend. Yeah. Pop it out in the bag. Push it till it hurts.

Have you had one before? Because, fuck, you're describing it quite well. Well, no, I'm actually very interested in them. Sade's run me through them and stuff. And, yeah, she says they're pretty horrendous. Yeah, they're a wild time. Anyway, I called up because I needed a repeat prescription for my contraceptive pill.

And I just rung the line. You know how you can either wait for a reception or you just leave a message for the nurse and they'll send the prescription to your pharmacy. Ooh-la-la, ding-ding, holla-holla, bing-bang. Done. Then I get a call and they're send a prescription to your pharmacy. Ooh la la, ding ding, holla bing bang. Done. Then I get a call and they're like, no. And I was like, why not?

And because a lot of the pills that women take can cause like blood clots and all sorts. Goodness. I know. And strokes. Yeah. You have to get your blood pressure checked every now and then and your weight.

Oh, okay. Now, the last time I got weighed at the doctor's, well, no, the last time I physically went to the doctor to talk about getting on the pill, she said, weight the same? And I said, yes. Now, that was a fucking lie. And let me tell you now, it's only gone up since I lied. Right.

Which means that the weight they'll have recorded at the doctor, I reckon, is about 14 to 16 kgs off. Oh, no. If I'm trying to work it out. And not that by any means. But you were wearing your Doc Martens. Those are heavy boots. This is like when you're giving your kids Pamol,

but it's from a year ago when they were significantly smaller. You just do a little bit of the old maths inside the head and then just have one and a half pills a day. Yeah, one and a half little squids. Crack them up. Don't do that. Don't do that. Or smash them all up and then weigh the total amount

and then divide it by however many days you need and then just earn a line of contraceptive. I don't think that's good advice. I don't think that's how it works, Vaughan. I know. Right. So what you need to go away. I'll say, fuck you guys are pussies. I don't have kids. I don't think that's how it works, Vaughn. I know. Right. So what you need to go in. I'll say, fuck you guys are pussies.

I don't have kids. I don't have to worry about Pamela anyway. Well, maybe I will have a kid because I won't be in my pill. So now you're off the pill. You have a kid and then it'll all be about Pamela. They will not. And I said to them, you guys heard me. I said, are you serious?

And they said, I'm a very busy woman. And she said, yeah, I understand that, but we can't do it. It's a risk. I said, I'm fine. Or just go in after work. Oh, they understand that, but we can't do it. It's a risk. And I said, I'm fine. Or just go in after work. Or they can't be bothered. And then the chat about, do we want to talk about why you might have gained so much weight? I got hungry, man.

Did they say that? They're not going to say that. I've had a couple of hungry years. Maybe we could give you that new one. That jab that everybody's not doing. Wink. A Zen pick. Yeah.

I don't think I'm there yet. Is that here yet? No, I know. I'm very much easier than the gym, innit? Yeah. God, yeah. You guys been at a gym so hard. It sounds horrendous though, what? I was at a party. Oh, was I talking with you guys? Or was it at the party on the weekend and I was like, yeah man.

No, you said to Alfred as a doctor, is that here yet? Hit me up. He was like, Hayley, don't be ridiculous. And I would never, but also I would. I would never. I would never. I wouldn't dream of it. Why, who's got some?

Yeah. So, okay, so you need to go into the doctor. Otherwise. I need to go into my doctor, have my blood pressure checked, which is usually low. I've got low blood pressure, which is fine. That's fine. That's the opposite. They don't care about that. That's the fainting one, eh? That, which is usually low. I've got low blood pressure, which is fine. That's fine. That's the opposite.

They don't care about that. That's the fainting one. That's the fainting. I'm a dizzy girl. Yes. Dizzy girl. Prone to. Dizzy.

Dizziness. Dizziness. Okay. Well, just after the show one day. Maybe I'll just have a baby. Oh, God. No. I know.

You need the time taken to drive to the doctor's is a mild inconvenience. Yeah. I might just see what I'm doing for the next 18 years. No, they don't leave home until they're at least 25. I'm still haranguing my parents. Yeah. You can't just go for fun night outs. I'm still of great concern to them.

You can't go for a night out like you did on Saturday if you've got kids. Well, someone brought a baby for a short amount of time. Was there a baby at the party? Yeah, for a short amount of time. The neighbours. I would have just, if I was a neighbour, just left it in the bedroom. Far out. You're overdosing your kids on Pamela.

You're leaving yours in the next house by itself. Yeah, I'd be the next McCann. I am the only one who should have a child. And you've got good reach on the video monitor yeah you could totally pop next door for a couple of wines

it's never a couple though is it never it's never not often yeah I'll go to the doctor