ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 24th May 2023

Episode Date: May 23, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Hayley spills the beans on something Aaron has started doing...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Thanks to McCafe. Great things are brewing, one cup at a time. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. Something has changed in the dynamic of my relationship that I would like to share only with the podcast listeners because I know that Aaron's not listening.

Obviously radio people airing their relationship woes on here. It has led to divorce amongst many of them. But let's give this a bout, eh? Well, Aaron and I have actually made a pact that we're not allowed to break up this year. I love that. That's great. Because we're in the shit of renovating and it's all gone sour. So it's a lot of stress in our life.

So we just said, can we just make, we've committed that that's not on the cards. It's quite nice. You've effectively done what people who have been getting married for centuries have done. You've made a pact. They just call it like a legal agreement. They were like, let's just have separate bedrooms and just be miserable till we're 80. Shade and I decided last night we're probably going to be separate bed sleepers when we're older. Really?

Yeah, because I have a better sleep. She's been sick, so I've been sleeping in the spare room. And I said to her, I always have such a good sleep in that single bed. Because there's less room to move. So I don't do that weird thing where I sprawl and twist and put a leg out and just want all this unnecessary pressure all night on my lower back. So you'd go into the spare room in a single bed? No. Is it a

single kid's bed? Well, it's one of the kids' beds. It seems just a single bed, but I always have really good sleep in it. I sleep in a king. And it's, oh, wonderful. No, I stretch and twist. It's bad. Yeah, we've got a super king, so we hardly see each other. We're like tectonic plates drifting apart.

And she said, do you think we'll be one of those couples that sleeps in separate beds when we're older? I said, well, you have started snoring more. So maybe. Is she a snorer? Yeah, when she gets on her back, well, she's sick at the moment as well. Any time she gets a slight, yeah, and she's like, well, you were snoring the other day. I said, yeah, I had a cold as well.

When she hits the bourbon hard, she's a big snorer. The bourbon and the ciggies, I'm trying to get her to just pull back a little bit. Not quit entirely, because it's a huge part of her personality. Aaron hates it when I drink too much wine and I fall asleep next to him, and I go, like, it breathed it in. He's like, come on, get away. So what age do you think you'll be when you'll spare room? When the kids move out?

Maybe when the kids move out. Have a room each. Oh, no. But I don't want the room that faces the sunrise. Oh, yeah, okay. Or that or I'll need a new blackout curtains. Yeah. But anyway, sorry to have interrupted there,

but you've made a pact and I'm looking to sleep in separate beds, but please go on. Yeah, we're going harder and you're pulling back. Yeah. Well, it's funny that you mentioned married life because – so we're not breaking up, but Aaron has just started calling me his wife. Like when he refers to me to people, he starts – he goes, oh, my wife, and I keep being like, hmm, because we're not married.

What made him start this? So rather than being like stoked with it because he's elevated you in relationship status, you're angry because he's calling you his wife and you never got the wedding. There's an easy way for him to elevate me in a relationship status. That's actually marry me. Now, I've been keen since he proposed four years ago to get married. But now he thinks he can just skip the hoopla of the day and call me his wife. I mean, you technically are husband and wife, though, aren't you?

No, we're technically not. We're technically de facto. We're technically partners. Yeah. Is there anything that a married couple could have that your current de facto status didn't? There's no tax breaks. The beautiful memory of a day. But would you change your last name?

No. There's nothing in it for him. He doesn't get to assert his dominance of your family's namesake. The thing that's in it for him, because he doesn't care about the la-di-do of the day, the thing that's in it for him is the privilege of calling me his wife. And now he's just taken that privilege and he's run with it. Right. So are you correcting him when he says this now?

I keep saying, I'm not your wife. Even when he's in front of people, he'll be like, oh, you're my wife. I think it's because it makes us seem more solid because when we're in the slog of the Renos and we're dealing with lawyers at the moment, but when it's better to say rather than my girlfriend or my partner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let us just get my wife and I.

When you're dealing with that lawyer, just take her, you know, because they charge you with a quarter hour and just get them to huck you a marriage certificate. Yeah, could do. Get it done. Yeah. Anyway, he has to wait. I need the day. I need the dress. And then he can call me his wife. Right. Sorry.

And Vaughn and I need that special day because we're definitely invited. No one's invited. But it's cute that you think so. We're invited. Not inviting many people. I wouldn't go. No, I wouldn't go either. But it's cute that you think so We're invited Yeah So you're not inviting many people I wouldn't go Yeah no I wouldn't go either But it's important that I'm invited

Yeah Right okay Well you're invited as long as you don't show up Well we better go Because now we've been invited Yeah Well no that was an unofficial You forced my hand here

No well I'll bring Shada and the kids too Because I can't leave them at home No And the dogs I've got to bring the dogs Because the kids too because I can't leave them at home. No. No. And the dogs. I've got to bring the dogs because the dogs are... The dogs are fine.

Don't bring your kids. You would rather have fucking dogs at your wedding. Yes. My extremely excitable dogs. No, because if you're at the wedding... I'm not very well behaved children. Yeah, but you'll be boring

because you'll be like, oh, I can't get too carried away because my kids are... Hey, we've caught an Uber with the kids. We got pretty pissed one night when we were with the kids. I was like, we are going to have to Uber boring because you'll be like, oh, I can't get too carried away because my kids are here. Hey, we've caught an Uber with the kids. We got pretty pissed one night. We were with the kids. I was like, we are going to have to Uber home. The kids were like, why are we taking your car?

I was like, we'll talk about it tomorrow. Oh, God. Yeah. You don't invite it.