ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod -25th Feb 2026

Episode Date: February 24, 2026

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Vaughan's Dad was shocked by something Hayley said...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the Zedium podcast network, it's Fletchhorn and Haley's Little Bit of Pod. Welcome to a Little Bit of Pod. Well, I went to the Edinburgh Military Tattoo that was down under. Yep. Went to Brisbane and Auckland this time. Last time it was Melbourne and Wellington when it visited outside of Edinburgh. I've done it obviously before as a Marchion girl. I've been in it multiple times.

And it was a lot of fun, but I didn't realise that that's why your parents were up in Auckland for me. My mum's parents met in a pipe band in Eltham. I think it was an Altham pipe band. South Patanaki, Opunaki area. Christ, that's grim, isn't it? My grandad played the big bong-bong drum. And your grandmother was like, I love that guy with the big bong. With the bong-bong.

That's very good on the rust. Nan, Marlene, R-I-P recently lost. Don't need a princess die to the studio. She was a marching girl. Yeah, everyone knows a marching girl. Everyone knows a marching girl. This was, so my parents were up for my birthday. and then for this on Saturday and on Friday, my birthday, I said,

I got home and Dad's mowing my lawns. He does this and I'm just like, they can't just sit on the couch, eh? And he goes under the house at one stage, you're trying to find out where the bath drains slowly? I'm like, I love you, man, but please. Pubes Ian, just lift up the grill. It's pubs in.

It's the bath. No pubs. Oh, so it's a publess bath. Well, pour that drain-o stuff down it. I'll think about it, but I'm on a septic tank. It'll wipe out all my bacteria and then the septic tank will stink. I mean how fast do you need a bath to drain You know I'm out of it drains

It drains eventually Maybe trim your pubs man But I got home and I said Get off the lawmower We're going to the pub For a birthday Guinness With Haley And he didn't even have to invite me

I heard it from From my house We sounded the horn We said like the horn of Gondor From the Lord of the room I was jealous I couldn't come Oh you were in Melbourne Yeah

You chose to leave the country I chose to leave So we We hit the tab for a Guinness. Yeah. And that was there. We got talking about the marching thing and Haley was talking about the Swiss. The Swiss.

Yeah, the Swiss. Top secret drumline. Top secret drumline. What the fuck is a... It's just the name, top secret. Were they dressed in all black? All black. They've got the socks and they've got these kind of like big hats with feathers on them.

Do they have a little pouch for their Swiss army knife? I'm sure they do. And it was sort of insinuated at the table that Haley had had sex with at least one at time. It was because we were talking about the acts And I was saying there's the big acts from around the world And we have three of them at the one that was down here And I said, oh, the top, I think your mum might have said I'm looking forward to the Swiss team,

The top secret drum line And I might have said I've worked my way through most of that line before You know, my parents looked at a bit puzzled And I said, I think what she's saying is she's had sex with half of them Oh, Hayley Ian goes, oh my God And then he had to finish his drink because he was so shocked Yeah.

And then, so post-performance Sunday morning, Dad's like, I counted how many men were in that time. Has Hayley really sleep with half of them? I was like, no, Dad. And he's like, thank God. Thank God. He literally thought he took it literally. Because he doesn't talk about these sorts of things.

This is well out of his wheelhouse. Haley's not afraid to share. That's what Dad said on the drive home. Yeah, she's not. He's not afraid to share, is she? He's accurate there. I said, no, no, no. When he was counting the top secret drumline,

did he also count the Norwegian Guard and the New Zealand Army band as well because I don't want to add up my stats here but yeah it's getting up there it's getting up there she's traveled the world he said but he seemed to be counting everybody he's that there were 240s how'd you know and he's like counted them the square do you know what was amazing so I went and saw this um saw the tad it was absolutely amazing how many people are from new zealand that just participated in it how many people travel to be in it so it's a mixture like the Aussie New Zealand one has lots of local for the mass pipes and drums it's mostly local but then you've got your big overseas

Because there's so many people They need like whole planes to bring them here Oh yeah It's insane That's huge The budget though In Edinburgh they do 30 shows 9000 people a night

Sold out miles in advance It's huge budget And all for like Fucking bagpipes I love bagpipes That was one My mum's one critique Not enough bagpipes

Listen to this So there was a kappa Haka group They came as part of the special performance Like Like spine chilling I think you say spine tingling I would have said spine tingling I wouldn't say chilling

It's chilling It was chilling chills Chills ran down my spine Yeah Do you know I actually got a VIP experience Because the Lute You know the Lachial

The marching girl nerds We went all out And went up to this area Where we met the producer Who I've met before He actually came and saw my stand-up comedy Right He came to visit New Zealand to do some groundwork

Alan's his name By the way Far out It's a shame He's got a wife but that doesn't stop some people it doesn't so he he came and did a speech for the VIP people and I met him after was we got a photo clung on clung around you know just type photo and he said oh I came and saw your comedy when I was in New Zealand last time I was like oh my gosh like thank

you so much what did you make of it and then I said wouldn't it be great if in the next Edinburgh military tattoo it had a little bit of you know 10 minutes of stand up and he said I think given your content you'll lose a third of the audience within five minutes. They were, oh, a lot of, Mom and Dad said there was a lot of people who needed help to their seats. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we just jump back to Haley's VIP experience? Yep, because I just did the maths. V-I is six in Roman numerals.

Yeah. And then P, of course, it's penis. So it's not the first time she's had a VIP experience. Nah, it was too long past and it was too nerdy. It was too much about the Roman numerals. Terrible joke. It wasn't hot or fast or relevant at all. It kind of the moment passed, but I kind of got a little bit hyperfing

excited on Roman numerals? Yeah. I apologize to everybody. That's okay. I fucked it up. Deleted it all. Mr. Natural out there. Fucking hell.

I might call it a day.