ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 25th February 2024

Episode Date: February 24, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Fletch learned something about his friends cat!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod Great things are brewing at McCafe The perfect start to every day Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod What's tickling you? What is tickling you? What do you mean what's tickling me? You've got a little, you've got a little

You've got a sparkle in your eye Well no I just wanted to talk about At the weekend Caught up with a friend Chris We were at the beach, some friends and I And we said we just invited a whole bunch of people Fun Chris who? I don't know if you've met Chris He's were at the beach, some friends and I, and we said, we just invited a whole bunch of people. Fun. Chris who?

I don't know if you've met Chris. He's kind of... Tall Chris. Good looking Chris. Yes. He was at the wedding. Yeah, I've met Chris. So we invited him to the beach.

He came down and we were like, well, what have you been up to? It's been a while since we've seen you. And he's like, oh, you know, this and this. But it hasn't been.

It's been like two weeks. Yeah, that's a while. No, but also, it was a while since Yeah it wasn't You know at a wedding We didn't have a proper catch up So it was like What's happening with your life

Kind of a Yeah where you at And he's like Oh you know I've got this going on This going on And I've got a trans cat And I was like He's like

I've got a trans cat now And I'm like You what A trans cat He's got a trans cat A cat And I'm like, you what? A trans cat? He's got a trans cat? A cat that identifies as the gender was not assigned at birth. And this is what I see. I was like, I don't know if that's possible.

Cats are pretty genderless to be fair. So he said that his cat has a, it's a male cat. And he said it had a tiny nub of a penis like so small that it couldn't use it. So the vet made an ante for his cat so this cat can pee. So it's a trans cat for the purpose

of urination. But it's not because transsexual you change your, you have the surgery to match your identity. So the pussy has now, for all intents and purposes, has a pussy. And Jared Messerschmidt's got a cataract. You can't say that. Find the cataract.

A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. A cataract. I was just like, oh, I was like. I don't know if Chris is using trans in the right way. No, I think that's. It's head assignment surgery. Yeah, yeah.

But that's it. It's not a trans cat. For. Yeah, okay. Because was the small cat penis hindering its efforts of urination? Yeah, apparently. And so because it was like, I don't know, it must have been some kind of deformed nubble or something.

I don't know. Intersex is sort of more, you know, like they've born with sort of some female, some male. No, but it was male. Just tiny. Just tiny. That's a micro penis. A tiny cat micro dick.

That's been turned into an inward hole. Hole. Yeah. A cat hole. Jesus. I know. Did I tell you about the last time the vets came? Whenever the vets come to our house, they come four times a year,

once every three months, about. And they always know I love- This is for your big pets. Yeah, this is for the big animals the farm animals yeah they they know i love like stories about people who spend outrageous amounts of money on animals right because i grew up on a farm and i'm just like look if it's going to cost too much put it down it's just it's financially not viable yeah and they they're like it's so unusual that people have that nowadays because people who are on lifestyle blocks are just like so they always have these outrageous stories like the coony coony pig that rolled down the hill

it was too fat to stop itself yeah like it was on a spit and it was too fat to stop itself and it broke its wrist so it had to get a cast and they said it was real sad. A big fat pig with casts on its trotters. Yeah, on a cast on its whole trot. I love Cooney Cooney. He's the best. Great pig. And they said,

we've got a great new story for you about an alpaca without a bum hole. Oh! Oh my God! And I was like, what? And she's like, so it's this rare

but not unheard of genetic thing that can happen to an alpaca that's born without an anus. So do you have to puncture a hole? You have to puncture a hole? You have to puncture a hole. They made it an anus.

Is it, like, how do they make it, like? I'm not going to tell you. They went in through, it was a female, so the vagina was below the non-existent butthole, but there was property. What is on the butthole? It's like smooth, like a Barbie. No hole.

Hair? Fur? No, still like what animals rear ends look like. Yeah. It's like smooth. Like a Barbie. No hole. Hair? Fur? No, still like what animals rear ends look like. Yeah. Just without the hole. So it had the plumbing. You need to get one of the, like a drill. A drill.

You know. Drill a pilot hole. So they went in through the vagina And had to like Stretch the The plumbing And then they stitched that onto the Where the bum hole's gonna go The wall This is a lot

Wait so they got the end of the bowel I'll tell you at the end of proceedings How much this cost So they got the end of the bowel right Yeah and pulled it And stitched it From within the vagina Yep

Held it Stitch stitch stitch stitch stitch stitch stitch, stitch, stitch. Hole cut. Did they pucker it? Did they do like a nice stitch so it got a nice pucker? It's got to be able to shut. That was my question. How do they make it look pucker?

And how do they make it go like, oh. That's the thing. They cut it. And then they stitched it to the bell that they didn't know. I think they did that from the outside, but they might have had a reference point on the inside. Then it tries to heal itself. Yes.

Because you know with like... Put a straw in. Back to the trans thing, but if you... You can't put a straw in because it would encourage leaking. If you are assigned male at birth but identify as female and you get a gender reassignment surgery, because I follow a trans woman, and you know how they create a vaginal canal?

Your body sees it as a wound and tries to heal it. Oh, yeah, right. So that's why you've got to use, like, insertables to keep it open. Someone's job every two days was to put something up the alpaca's bum, its new bum. Yeah, like an ear piercing, I guess. Yeah. Like, you know, whatever.

The average size of the stretched alpaca anus. And it would be like, leave it in there for a bit and then take it out. And it would shut again. And like the body just kind of makes it happen. So when the alpaca squeezes, like when it's pooing and it squeezes it just out and then just shuts down again. Isn't that amazing? What the hell? Okay, my question is

$5,000 for a new anus. For an anus. An alpaca anus. Actually, I feel like that's a good deal. Alpaca anus. You've drilled, that would be your How much is an alpaca? Do you know what I mean? Dimer doesn't matter. Dimer doesn't. Because I'm like, if it was a beloved dog or a beloved cat

that you cuddle with and snuggle with and stuff, but at what point are we just killing the alpaca? You'd spend $5,000 for a Raleigh to get a new anus. I'd spend $50,000 for a new anus. No, come on. You wouldn't spend $50,000 on a cat anus. I'd spend a lot of money on an anus.

But alpaca... That's so fascinating that they can even do that. You would think the better way would be to put the animal down. Yeah. Because how is the al way would be to put the animal down. Yeah. Rather, because how is the alpaca reacting to the- It's not like it's going to go out there and win the Melbourne Cup or anything, you know? There's no money to be made off this alpaca.

But is it uncomfortable when the thing's getting inserted to keep its anus alive? Oh, I'd imagine it doesn't love it. But also don't know the ins and the outs of it. The rainbow community of the animal kingdom Who knew? Pretty exciting I don't know if one of the colours on the rainbow flag

Is for people born without anuses I don't know Well there's a lot now There's a lot of colours on there But anyway Trans cats or anusless alpacas We'll take them all