ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 25th July, 2025

Episode Date: July 24, 2025

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Hayley And The Hot-Spotting IncidentSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZM podcast network, it's Fletch, Flawn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Welcome to a little bit of pod. Guys, guys, guys, girls, thems, theys and gays. Listen, I don't know if maybe I should have done something or if upon reflection maybe I should have. Okay. But this was when I was in the Uber heading to the airport to go away overseas. Don't worry, we will stop talking about how brown and delightful we are and how we've

just had a holiday. But I was getting in and I live a little bit out of the way. And some networks don't have, it has poor connection near my house. I always had this when like tradies were around, they'd be like, got no thing. And I'd be like, jump on the WiFi. Did you know when you were looking at that house, like look at that? Cause I don't know if I could live at a place

that I didn't have reception. But it's not. It's only one network, right? Yeah, I think it's like one, it's like every now and then an Uber driver or an Uber Eats delivery person will be like, sorry about the delay, I got cut off and I couldn't find your thing.

So it happens every now and then. I don't have a problem, like my phone's fine and it's always been all right. So this guy turns up at my house and he is about 10 minutes late. And as you know, I was already kind of running late on that day, let's not talk about why. And he turns up and he was like,

hey, I'm so sorry but I ran out so I had to jump into a cafe to use their wifi to get the directions to your house because my 4G, 5G cut out. You know what, that's a bit of ingenuity because some of them would have just turned around and said, can't be F'd. Fuck you, basically. So he did that and I was like, oh, that sucks.

He said, do you mind if I can hotspot onto your phone just so I can start the ride and- Oh yeah, because otherwise you wouldn't be able to... Can't start the ride? Yeah right. Yeah and I was like that's totally fine. So your hotspot's onto my phone. I would have said I've got no data, just keep driving until we get some.

I would have gone like 800 metres free I reckon. Yeah up the road into the mainland. No no no I was like no problem because please get me to the airport, my friend Fletcher's waiting for me, he's already pissed off. Anyway so... We'd made a plan that day, do you remember that one? Yeah I know we've been through this! We've made quite a robust plan. Because like please get me to the airport my friend Fletcher's waiting for me. He's already pissed off anyway, so We'd made a plan that day Things got in the way Anyway, so he hotspots on my phone all good like put it through hotspots. He's like. Thank you starts the ride

Yeah backs out. I was like let him get out of here. You know let him get out. We're at the fucking airport He's still hotspotting. Really? Just didn't turn it off. And I was like. Was he updating his apps? Was he messaging? See him like, tootooing on the phone,

being like, all right, update that, update that, download this, download this playlist. No, but I was like, ah, when's he gonna jump off my hotspot? Because meanwhile, I'm on my phone, as I always am on an Uber. I ain't chatting, can't be bothered. How's your day? Pussy day. But he just stayed on the thing the whole drive. Like a 40 minute drive.

Works paying, so who cares? Yeah, but I don't have unlimited data. We've got that thing don't we? We've got a cap. Oh yeah, we get a message if we've been on too much. Oh yeah. We get a cap. We're about to run out of premium speed. Premium speed. You're going to be slow as shit. What about my Uber driver lied to me the other day? Because we both landed at like quarter to 3am and I was just on my phone because I was

sleeping pill myself so I was a bit sleepy. I was dopey as hell. I look up and you know for those that don't live in Auckland, the best way into the city is always the tunnel. Always the tunnel. Always the tunnel. It's faster. Yeah and before that new tunnel was done you used to snake through the bloody burbs of Auckland.

Oh horrible. Epsom. Par Road or whatever it is. I look up and he's got off to go through the fucking suburbs because sometimes Google Maps will say it's the same distance but it's not. It's traffic lights. It's stopping. It's 50kms. Yeah you drive 100kms through a tunnel and it's the same distance, but it's not, it's traffic lights, it's stopping, it's 50k.

Yeah, you drive 100k through a tunnel and it's fine, you're good. And I said to him, oh, why aren't you taking the tunnel? He's like, oh, it's closed. So you messaged me this. And I was like, oh, and I was like, oh, Hayley, tunnel's closed, sucks. Cause the tunnel leads almost right to my house, right?

Like it's perfect, and if I have to get off, it's a real palaver. And you left a little bit before me, I think as you left you said, "'Screw you bitch, I'm out of here, "'good luck to you' and left me "'with all my shit on myself." Well you had all that cocaine in your luggage.

Shh. I didn't want to have it. You know I didn't want to be howled up. That's true, I got it through, hey do you still want your card or not? And then you messaged me saying, "'Heads up, the tunnel's closed.' Meanwhile I'm mid tunnel, I was like, hmmm.

He lied to me. He fucking lied to you. Like because I'd had him up about the route he was taking, he lied to me. He fucking lied to me because I had him up about the route he was taking. He lied to me. I took a photo in the tunnel. I was like this tunnel is pretty open to me. Yeah. Cause that's not time to open the tunnel. Unbelievable. They're not going to open that tunnel at three in the morning. No, no, no, no, no. It's opening at six. Yeah.

Or I did Google maps and both options said exactly 24 minutes, but I was like, it's a principle I've been lying to. And also it's the experience. Oh my god, yeah, there's no stopping. I like the no stopping. You hone through the tunnel, or you stop, start through the burbs. It doesn't lie to you, I loved that.

I still did five stars, I never give anyone one star. Even that guy that ran up the curb that time when we were in Sydney, I gave him five as well. I just, you know, they're just doing their job. Do you know once I was getting into an Uber, and I will say I had had a slice of a brownie that was a really- Like a cafe brownie or a- No, no, a friend made a brownie and it was, made me sleepy, the brownie. And I remember

I was like getting into the back of the Uber and he started driving, I had one leg on the driveway and I was like, ah! And in my brownie brain I was like, am I moving or is the car moving? And he was moving and I remember being like, oh, and I didn't even give him one star. I don't fuck with their life like that. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. Well, they could probably steal an organ and I'd be like, they're driving an Uber, five stars. Really? Yeah, they could probably crash and kill you in heaven, you'll be like, five stars. Five stars in heaven? Who's in heaven, this guy? Oh yeah, not Flair, today. Excuse me, which heaven? I kill you in heaven you'll be like five stars. Five stars in heaven? Who's in heaven? This guy?

Oh yeah, not Flair. Which heaven? I will be in heaven. This concept none of us believe in. You'll be in heaven. Hell is your heaven. He'll be in your own personal heaven as just this insane... You two will be there. Imagine if they're like, you're going straight to hell and he's like, oh no. Oh no.

Hands cuffed. Oh my god, I'm so scared. Who's down there? Oh my god, I'm so skewered. Who's down there? Oh my god, all the gays. The gays, oh no. All the party people. All the heathens and naughty people. Oh no. I'm skewered, Satan.