ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 26th June 2023

Episode Date: June 25, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Vaughan has found an interesting toilet factoid he'd like to share!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Download the MyMaccas app and use your points towards a coffee. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. What are you doing? I've got some data to share. Data if you're American and dar-dar if you're Russian. Dar-dar.

I do know you're dar-dar. Do you like the red pieces of dar-dar? This is from dataisbeautiful, a subreddit that is quite nice to look at. I love a graph. I love graphs. What's a graph called when it's a pie graph? Pie graph. No, no, no.

It doesn't have the inner part workings of the pie It's just like a Oh I love those ones Donut What is that kind of It is like a donut graph Yeah Well they have several

Oh yeah that's their beautiful graphs A ring inside a ring Yeah Telling you different things Venn Well this is No It's not Venn

No it's not a Venn I knew it wasn't I was just saying the diagram types that I know. Types of circular graphs. They're going to say Venn. Venn will be the top one. Donut chart, beta version. Slenderize your simple pie chart with a donut chart.

That is called a donut chart. Yes, a donut. I like a donut chart better than a pie chart. But a pie chart does, it's quite sexy. Yeah, but the cool thing about the donut chart is it can have subsequent information in the middle. Yes, that's true. Or it could have, like, some of the information is on the outside pointing at different parts with some key points. Yes.

And then you've got a bit more room in the middle to play with as well. Whereas pie is quite a simple, fat little bugger, isn't it? Yeah, full. It's just here's a big chunk of pie. Chonk, little chonky chonk chonk. Yeah. So there we go. This isn't a donut graph, but this is

I don't know what this kind of graph is. You've got some data. I've got some data. Where in the world do men sit down to do wheeze? Thinking about the amount of times you go to the toilet, do you only urinate, i.e. having to wee but not doing a poo? How often do you sit down in order to do so? Percentage of men, each country.

Why would you? Every time, most times, sometimes, rarely, don't know, and never. Well,

some people have a bent urethra. Yeah, right, so you have to. Are you speaking on behalf of a friend or are you? But if the urethra is bent,

the cock itself must be askew. It might be askew. There might have been a skiing accident. But shouldn't you, couldn't you, if your cock was askew, can't you bend it?

Yeah, I was thinking you'd just make the adjustments of your standing position. I know so little about men peeing. It fascinates me. We were talking the other day about urinals. You would have a look, hey? Every single time. Yeah. Every single time.

Even if you were heterosexual. Not in a horny way. I'd just be like, I love it. If I in a horny way. I'd just be like, I love it. If I saw a vagina walking towards me, I'd be like, oh yeah. Interesting.

Interesting. Yeah, right. Different to mine. You're just fascinated by the human form. Yeah, we're all different. I'll admit, I do sit down to pee when it's like two o'clock in the morning so I don't have to turn lights on.

And do you tuck the whole, this is, I think I've asked this before on the pod, and we'll do it again. Do you tuck the whole cock and balls into the seat? No. Do you crank your legs over top? Your legs are,

well, you just sit on the seat, and it just goes down. I don't like sitting in a penis. You're just really heightening, getting wheezed, splashed back onto your back. No, it goes onto the front of the toilet, doesn't it?

So you just dribble it, basically. Yeah, you just dribble it down. I'm worried about your strength now. splashed back onto your back. No, it goes onto the front of the toilet, doesn't it? So you just dribble it, basically. Yeah, you just dribble it down. I'm worried about your strength now. I'm worried about your stream. You might have prostate issues. Is it coming out quick? No, I've never had a strong stream. You've never had a strong stream?

I've never had an overly, like, yeah, sometimes I'll hear Vaughn if we go to the toilet at the same time. He's like a bloody racehorse. Like a horse. Like a horse. Big, wide urethra. Yeah. Long, straight, huge chasm.

A big, straight river straight river but otherwise 100% always stand um but when it's night I don't have to turn the light on so I don't wake myself up when it's two in the morning or three yeah and so I'll just sit do it flush leave done yeah interesting right and I know a few guys that are the same they'll do it sitting down at night so they don't aim because if you, it's all over your floor, and then it might hit the toilet and then splash your legs. And it's three in the morning. You don't want pissy legs.

Yeah, pissy legs. Sit back into bed. Sheets will absorb it. This is really interesting. I was thinking of lumping together every time and most times, because to me that's the majority of the time. Sometimes really don't know and never are the other part of this right so germany 62 of men sit down to wee every time or most times what the germans love a sit wee really isn't that fascinating has our mobile

phone use exacerbated this it's definitely lengthened the time I'll take to poo, but it's not changed my urinating habits. Yeah, because I wonder if people are using this time, say at the office, they need a wee, they're just like, oh, you know what, I'll take a few minutes. Take a few minutes. Wow. Don't hurry the ablutions.

The Germans call them sitzpinklers. Sitzpinklers. Literally, it's called sitzpinklers, is the people that sit down to go to the toilet. And apparently a lot of places in Germany, I guess because it's called Sitzpinkless Is the people that sit down To go to the toilet And apparently a lot of places In Germany I guess because it's more Of a regimented Sort of quite a clean country

No urinals A lot of the places Will say They'll have a sign Saying sit down We don't want you splashing Because there is a lot of Splashback on the standing to pee

And some people Are terrible aims Any event where there's More than 40 men Congregated with There's also beverages Being imbibed. And you wouldn't have this problem in the females' dunnies, but- I wouldn't dare speak.

Well, you may. Because I was going to say, what are the stats on women who stand to pee? Because I stand to pee. Wow. Well, you stand to make a huge mess. Because that's the thing. When guys are drunk, or even when they're not, they'll just, if they go into a cubicle,

rather than touch the toilet seat and put it up, they'll just piss in the middle and hope they don't dribble on the seat. And if they do, they leave. They don't clean it up. It's disgusting. Yeah, gross. Men's toilets are gross, but women's toilets are also gross. Like, women do all sorts of whack shit.

Like, there'll always be like a tampon wrapper in the floating in the thing oh yeah those on the sanitary bins always there's a things there women spritz when they shit like tell you what it's just fandom shitters are always woman like yeah they're always horrendous there's's hair in the sink. No, it's not good in there. Don't think that we're keeping it clean. No. Who else from your data is a sit-down to pee? It's called a sit-sprinkler.

It's Sweden. Yeah. That's 60% of men sitting down every or most times. Gosh. Then Denmark. It pops in at 54%. Yeah. Canada is then, well, actually actually Australia just slightly ahead of Canada.

Really? Canada, Spain, Italy and France more or less the same. The US much lower, only 23% of the time. So a quarter of the time. And is New Zealand. According to me, I'm sorry. Is New Zealand on the list at all? New Zealand's not on the list, unfortunately.

We can't have that sort of. Fine. But I just thought we were always in such a bloody hurry. We were always get in, get out, no sitting down. Come on out. Come on out. Yeah. I need help.

I am jealous of the fact that you guys get to pee. You don't have to remove everything. Yeah, you just go straight out. Yeah, maybe because I got that bodysuit that has a pull-to-the-side feature. And I was like, incredible. Yeah. Yeah, genius, that one. The only thing is with, because you've got more of a tunnel that straightens the urethra.

Whereas like when a woman wears, there's so many folds down there. Yeah. Some people have a tunnel. It can all go a bit pear-shaped and spritz over the side and over the bit and come out. It'll be your foreskin. Because I'm just going to ask something about the fact you can sit down and you don't have a super strong stream with the splash back. It's your foreskin. It's sort of a muffler.

What's that really long tunnel in the South Island that gets snow around it and on it? The Homer Tunnel? A big foray is like the Homer Pass tunnel being covered in snow at the end. Right. And you're driving your truck out of it. Yes. You're going to plow through and go a bit skew-iff. And then you come out and you're like, oh, that could do with a wash.

Whereas the circumcised penis is the Homer tunnel in summer. Yeah, right. In and out. Clean as a whistle. Right. I think I'm going to use the term sit sprinkler. Sit sprinkler. That's really shocked me that so many men sit down to pee because, yuck, especially public toilets.

Yuck. Like, at least urinals are great. You just stand, do it, and go. Yeah. Whereas, like, ugh. Yeah. Hmm. Well, next time you're doing a wee or a poo.

You're doing a sit sprinkler. Think about it. Think about, you know, how you're doing a wee or a poo. You're doing a sit spinning fight. Think about it. Think about, you know, how you're doing it, how your neighbour's doing it. If you're in the bathrooms with someone who's a little bit shy about it, maybe you can give them a gentle word of encouragement. I like to do this with Producer Jared. Yeah, because he doesn't like the urinals. When he walks in.

When I walk in and he's in there, I like to loudly encourage him. A question for the two of you as long-term besties. Often, Vaughan will say, I need to go to the toilet, and you'll say, I need to go to the toilet too, and I know that you guys use urinals. Do you urinal when you go in together? Sometimes, or the urinals are working too close, eh? Very close, shoulder to shoulder.

Yeah, so sometimes we have, if the toilets are busy, but one of us will go in the toilet, one won't. Do you have a little look at each other's penises? No. Have you seen each other's penises? No. Have you seen each other's penises? No. Have you not? In 19 years.

Why would I want to look at Vaughan's? It's just weird. I thought at some point the penis was going to be out. Have we talked on the podcast about the compliment my penis got? Yeah, I think we did cover it. Yeah, he gave you a lovely compliment, didn't he? Right. What's good about your willy?

It's just good. Okay, have we ever told you that former producer James, James who's now running a plumbing empire, he once stood at the urinal next to Harry Styles at an Auckland bar and he didn't look. Oh, you idiot. You'd look, right? Well, I'd look regardless of who it was.

I know. So I'm looking. You'd be an absolute pest about it. But, you know, it's normally A lot of guys Are eyes forward Unless you're Hayley And yeah Eyes down Or Zach Yeah

Absolutely Curious Curious Curious A curious mind We're all different Seeks answers