ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 27th April 2023

Episode Date: April 26, 2023

On today's Lil Bitta Pod, Hayley shares a little too much with Fletch & Vaughan.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Thanks to McCafe. Great things are brewing, one cup at a time. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. Preparations underway for Hayley's comedy show. Hayley's comedy show. Hamish's collarbone.

Yeah, it's opening very, very soon. A giant stack of posters have arrived. Yeah, a little too late, but it's opening very, very soon. A giant stack of posters have arrived? Yeah, a little too late, but it's another thing. But the ticket's selling well, and I've just been working with Aaron on how I'm going to do the set, like how I'm going to present the thing. Okay. And I've come up with, like, I want to have lots of x-rays

because the show's about my body and things have gone wrong, and I've had lots of scans and x-rays over the years. Just looking over my shoulder that people can't see this one. Oh! Oh! I just put my phone down. and things have gone wrong and I've had lots of scans and x-rays over the years. Just looking over my shoulder that people can't see this one. Oh! Oh! Hey! I just put my phone down.

So you've been calling your dentist? So I called my dentist and I got my dental records sent to me with x-rays. They just do it for free? Yeah, they just did it at a conference of their own heart. Yeah. I called my doctor

and she was like, no, we don't keep those. We always have reports, like what the report, the finding was from the test you got done. But then I got Mercy Radiology and I found three of them. I was going to say, it sounds like you need to contact Mercy Radiology. Yeah, I did.

And I found three of them. I got my mum to dig up some old ones from when I was a kid. Yeah. I had some scans. What did you throw when you were a kid? Broken? Broke my arm twice, had my kidney out. Lots and lots of kidney scans as a kid.

Right. And yeah, so basically I've collected all of my medical records. And then I remembered yesterday that, because it's a comedy show. Yeah. And it's about my body. It's very intimate. And I remembered yesterday that last year, you know how my knee, we talk about my knee a lot. I got the pain.

Yeah. And the doctor was like, sometimes we've got to look at the hip to see if anything's gone a bit janky. Oh, yeah. Well, the knee bone's connected to the hip bone. And the hip bone's connected to the tailbone. Tailbone. And then the tailbone's connected to the penis.

What? We went tits and penis. One of the two. One of the two. Yep. So I was like, I have an x-ray of my whole hips. And I was laughing being like, I wonder if I've got shadow flaps. Now that's the horse that Gandalf rode in Lord of the Rings, isn't it? The big white horse.

Shadow flaps. That's not shadow flaps. Shadow flaps. Shadow flaps. That's good. Oh, Shadow Flaps. No, Shadow Flaps are when you get an X-ray and you can see the shape of your penis. Because who was it?

The famous, it was Andy Murray, wasn't it? The famous tennis player. Yeah. He put up his up and you saw his dick. You saw his dick. The Shadow Flaps. And then was it our friend at the weekend, Dr. Shawnee, was saying that sometimes the dick points towards what's going wrong. Yeah. Did you know this?

This is a thing. The penis knows. If you've got something on your, like, you're going wrong and maybe it was your hips or something, the penis might be pointing to the left, indicating that the left is where the problem may lie. Like all those sticks you use to find water. Yeah.

Like ET phone home. I don't think it's an actual thing. I just think it's more often than not the way. Yeah, something like that. I don't know. We were pretty drunk when he was telling us. Anyway, so I was like, I wonder if I've got a shadow flap so you'll be able to see the outline of my vulva.

I know, but yes, I've been listening to Sex Life. You're saying vagina's wrong because that's the inside bit. The vagina's just the canal. Yeah. The vulva is all the're saying vagina's wrong Because that's the inside bit The vagina's just the canal Yeah The vulva The vulva is all the lips And the outer bits Can I say like

The second episode Of the podcast Good lord right Good lord Good lord Go listen to it Sex.life after this And I found the x-ray

And it is On the money Right For flaps For shadow flaps I'm not looking at your flaps Now I'll show you Without the flaps

That's the hip bone Okay yeah good Like it's a great x-ray Those are my hip bones Aren't they great Is that what it's supposed to look like One's higher than the other Well you're a little bit skew-iff

Yeah I'm a bit skew-iff Get on the piss Can I give you a flash of shadow flaps Just a second Okay Ready three two one Did you see it No my eyes aren't good enough

I didn't even look You would have I don't want to see shadow flaps Well you're going to because you can come see my show My shadow flaps are going to be up on a bloody light box You are not going to put them up on the big screen The whole show is about my body and everything That's a little funny with it You've got to have the shadow flaps Yeah, I'm putting my shadow flaps on the light box

Anyway This is a marvel to look at the inside Of your South The shadow flaps Are so funny You've got all your Dental ones as well Yeah because I want to

Show that I've got An extra tooth I'm a mutant Do you have an extra tooth? Yeah I've got five Down the bottom Do your lips show up On that one too?

Yeah those lips Are also there Are they? And there's some More shadow flaps Very lip heavy Stage design Right Okay God the boys are excited Your mum's coming with you Isn't she? Well she's coming And there's some more shadow flaps. It'd be a very lip-heavy stage design. Right, okay.

God, the boys are excited. Your mum's coming with you, isn't she? Well, she's coming to the New Plymouth show that we're going to, which is the same show. Same show. Oh, Beverly. I don't know if... The flaps will travel down. I don't know if the...

I showed you the inside of my anus as well, right? Yeah, I saw that. No, that's a... That's a polar. That's a huge... Is that a huge polar? It looks like a puffball. I thought it was a marshmallow or a foam

depository. I thought you were a damp forest floor in autumnal times. Why is it blue as well? Some kind of fungal mushroom. Like a puffball. It does. It looks like a white button mushroom. I would need that mushroom. If I was going through my mushrooms, I'd be like,

no, and that one would go in the scrap bin. Yeah. Oh, dear. God, we're going to get to know each other so well. Aren't we? It feels like a one-way street, to be honest.