ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 27th December 2023

Episode Date: December 26, 2023

This episode contains explicit content & themes, and is definitely not one for younger listeners!On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Morgan Penn joins us to discuss initiating sex with your partner!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod, and today may not be for younger ears. Definitely not for younger ears. I'm 42 and I felt like I was just a little bit too young for some of it. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod, and we're back with the full show and more big pods on the 15th of January. Like hell. Remember that mortgage you've got to pay? You'll be here. He'll be here with his hands out. I actually don't believe in mortgages anymore.

Please, Penny, please. We're joined in studio by our dear friend and co-host of the Sex.Life podcast, Morgan Penn, somatic sexologist. Kia ora. Kia ora. Hello, lovely. So lovely to have you in, Studs. If you need a podcast to binge over summer, and if you haven't already, Sex.Life, wherever you podcast, iHeartRadio, Spotify.

It would be such a good little summer binge, actually, because you're just sitting there and getting all hot and horny in the sun. Oh, exactly. Why not? Definitely turn on. About your, I was going to say, for those that don't know,

it's about your experience at an underground rural sex school in New Zealand. Yeah, well, we weren't underground. We were humping the ground. We were humping the ground. Yeah, humping the ground. I would say maybe in lieu of a trigger warning or a, what is it?

A warning for the listeners. I imagine our chats with Morgan may not be good for sensitive young little ears. Young ears, yeah. So we'll just say that here. You can pop out. Are you doing a new season? What's happening for season two? Are you going to mention anything?

Because, you know, a lot of fans. A little cock tease for us. Hallie and I are looking at each other with anticipation. Because, yes, yes we are and I'm currently out there researching

and getting the content. Experiencing new things. I've heard some stories. Well, season one you said I've put my body on the line for this and I believe

you are doing it again. I feel like the body is the only way through this. Yeah. Now, but people knew that you were coming in so we asked asked on Instagram, what are your questions?

For Morgan. And we're going to start with a few now. Yeah, I'll give you one. Also, thank you for being here, Morgan. It is my pleasure. You're a ray of light. Also, thank you for looking after my cat the other weekend. It was nice to have some posse time.

Thank you. Yeah. I always like getting home to my posse. Is it interesting when you come home and Morgan's been house-sitting? to have some posse time. Thank you. Yeah. I always like getting home to my posse. Is it interesting when you come home and Morgan's been house-sitting? Do you like how I said that with a straight face? I just didn't expect those words to come out.

I love spending time with my posse. Okay, question from our listeners, Morgan. Do you have any advice on becoming more comfortable with initiating sex with a partner? Yeah. Well, this is an interesting one, right? It's like you can literally have the conversation and ask that person, how would you like me to initiate?

Like, what? Oh, yeah. You tell me. I know that seems so simple, but it can be so hard. But, like, we do have things that turn us off when people come in to initiate and we go oh yuck i know that they just want that like we're coming in helicoptering their cock around exactly i mean some people like that or maybe they come in and they're all sweaty and yuck after work and they want it and you just say have a shower yeah please rinse off yuck yeah

exactly so like what is it what turns you on what is likely to push the foot down on the accelerator for you like it's such a good conversation to actually have and I also think for a couple sometimes it's good to have something that you both have that you can both use so maybe it's like okay this is a weird example but like a mug in the cupboard if one of you is drinking from the mug it means I'm on I'm actually it's gonna say like a little sock the cupboard. If one of you is drinking from the mug, it means I'm on. I'm actually open and available. It's going to say like a little sock on the door, a little hat on the door, so it means I'm ready and willing.

Right. A little signal. Maybe you say, I don't know, but the mug. If words aren't your thing. What if all the mugs are in the dishwasher and that's the last mug? Or if you're drinking from the mug

and your partner just goes straight from the tap. Really lets you know that there's going to be no mugging tonight. It's always about finding a bridge. Yeah. It's about what's going to connect you.

Yeah. Because if things are left unsaid you assume things you miss out on saucy moments. What about just like straight in you're in the bed

and maybe you know that you both want to do it but you're usually the sort of receiver of the initiation. Like are there any physical things, a little tickle here, a little flirt, a little pop of the... Like nuzzle a boner in the back?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that'll do it. Jesus Christ. Give that a push. Give that a push in the bum hole. Did you feel the women in the room be like, Jesus, the amount of boners in the back. Yeah.

Introduce that dragon to the belly. Oh, God. Yeah, thanks. Hello. I think that is a good thing, right? Because sometimes you don't even know that your body might be available for sexy things. But if there's a little bit of a touch, you know. Actually, yeah.

But I think it's good to bring communication in with that as well. Like start with the touch and then be like, do you like that, baby? Sexy arm tickles. What else do you like? We love sexy arm tickles. You. Classic. We love it.

We try to do it to ourselves, actually, which is a bit masturbatory when we do it in the studio all together. It's a sensory awakening. It's beautiful. It just relaxes me. It takes me down a notch. But there's something different to tickling the arm to maybe tickling the leg. Celebrate that, Vivaan.

Yeah, it's my favorite thing to do. I do this. I tickle. And then when it gets too much, I have to rub it out. Oh. Fuck it out. Fuck it out. Wow. Jesus. While we much i have to rub it out oh and then i start again yeah sort of a reset of sorts okay so a bit of communication verbally and perhaps some light touch followed by a verbal confirmation yeah like let's just normalize like having this conversation maybe i'm feeling hot for you are you in do you encourage people who aren't the initiator to be a bit more um grab life by the balls so to speak well this is probably one of the biggest things when i'm working with couples as clients they're always like i just wish

they would initiate more yeah because we all want to feel desired yeah we all want to feel like we're we're not someone wants you all the time yes yeah you know so it is good and and you know what sometimes when i'm training and i say this lightly training clients to to get more into that realm is they take turns each week okay so you're initiating this week next week you're in a share like a clear delineation there yeah because there's such a deep fear of rejection in people as well that it's it's can be be crippling for people to do this. I really understand this question. Sometimes it is so hard. You don't want to get shut down and embarrassed.

Just easier to have a wank. Oh, my gosh. No, but I'm saying, off the back of the rejection, I'm not trying to be crude, but I'm just saying, if you'll face rejection time and time and time again, someone's just like, that'll just be easier to have a wank. Yeah, I suppose so. When you're just like, I just can't even face it, but I'm horny and time again. Someone's just like, that'll just be easier to have a wank. Yeah, I suppose so. When you're just like,

I just can't even face it, but I'm horny and I won't want to bother them, so I'll just fucking go to the bathroom. But there is a good piece in that because that's self-responsibility because we shouldn't be expecting that other person to give us pleasure. So if you initiate, there's nothing,

and you're still feeling horny, you shouldn't just then let that go to waste. Or be frustrated. Like, self-pleasure rub your arms oh my god sit on the dryer put a shoe in there all the wet towels on one side of the dryer okay next question uh looking for some advice on how to bring back the spice after having a baby.

I'm sure you would have dealt with this so much for women and people who give birth. It's such a big one, and it's a really tricky one as well because there's so many layers to it. Because society, well, the medical industry tells us six weeks after having a baby, you're all good to go, and that's just such a crock of shit because it's so individual. And it's so much more than just about the state of your fucking vagina. Vaginal entrance. I know.

Exactly. Yeah. So, you know, and these will be parents that are sleep deprived, that they're learning new routines. There's like. Could have had traumatic births. Totally. Sometimes there's pain now.

Postnatal depression. Thank you. Keep it coming. I've done a podcast with her. Do you know what I mean? I've been learning. You know. Yeah.

So there's just a raft of things. So I don't even think it's about the spice, to be honest. I think it's about just getting back into connection of what you truly need to feel open to sex. So I think what I see a lot of women that have given birth is they are working with a body that they don't feel sexy in anymore because it's changed so much.

So work out what your needs are. Are your needs to hear from your partner all the time that you look sexy, that I love your new body, I love... You admire it a bit. Yeah. Is that what's going to turn you on? Like what kind of touches? Because quite often you feel new mothers feel touched out.

Like, they're just giving. Especially because I love a bit of the nip. And we know that, Vaughn, you love a bit of the nip. Do you? Huge nip thing. He loves a bit of the nip. Big nipple appreciation society. Absolutely.

Us here, we all love it. Big and small. Big and small. Oh, come on. I know. I just view with your lovely petite nips. No, they're beautiful. They're stunning.

But your nipples, if you're breastfeeding They totally lose their Sexual purpose But they take on a very different Sort of level of importance That's right, they've got a new purpose You might not want them tweaked As you wanted them tweaked before

They might be raw dogs after being sucked dry By a little baby So yeah, there's lots of stuff there. But I guess what I would say is just, like, go in slowly, figure out your needs, try different things, and the spice will come back. Could be a bit of hand stuff. Could be a bit of mutual mass.

Because then the person is there in charge of themselves. Yep. It's hot. Well, thank you Well if somebody I'm thinking even there If someone's left handed Someone's right handed

You could even link arms Oh my god like otters Yeah So we're like linked like otters So there's the touch and the arm But you're getting your thing done Doing my own thing Bit of a challenge

Something new and exciting So you're kind of half asleep It's real lazy Sort of a Love a lazy shag Yeah sort of a Not Dutch rudder Dutch rudder dutch rudder yeah beautiful which is where sit where i would hold my penis but you somebody else would motion the arm

okay well that's what dutch rudder is okay yeah yeah so this one's a link and then i think we'll leave that there shall we leave that there morgan is going to pop in throughout the summer uh podcast break uh for more little bits of pods to answer your listener questions. Morgan, thank you so much for coming in. Such a pleasure. And if you can't wait for our next episode with Morgan, go and listen to Sex.Life. You can binge the whole thing now.