ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 27th October 2024

Episode Date: October 27, 2024

Content Warning- may not be suitable for young ears On today's Lil Bitta Long Weekend Pod, we explore your fornication files...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with MyMackers Rewards. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. Over the long weekend, we are dissecting your lists. Of those you have slept with. Because this is the thing, girls keep lists. I had no idea.

I mean, I knew the odd person had the odd list. When you got that little black book back in the day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But now it's all notes and they're very thorough. Imagine if two days ago I was reading out my list and I was just running through the names and it was like, da-da-da-da-da, Fletch, Vaughan, da-da-da-da-da. And everyone was like, oh!

And they knew about that week and went. Was it Fletch slash Vaughan and a cutting through way? Yeah. No, remember my Mark slash Martin was Mark or Martin. You just couldn't quite remember. It's a Mar of sorts. So you sleep with Fletch or Thorne, you're not sure which one. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Even in the throes of passion. So we asked you to screenshot your list. Names have been redacted. People have redacted names. Not this one. Oh, okay. Oh, no, there is one today that we're reading.

No names redacted, but just first names. Okay. No identifying features. As long as it's not an identifiable name, like, I don there is one today that we're reading. No names redacted, but very, just first names. Okay. No identifying features. As long as it's not an identifiable name, like, I don't know. Yeah. Giuseppe. Okay. Giuseppe.

Giuseppe. Giuseppe from Toadanga. There is some European names in this list. Okay. This one is just titled Boys, which indicates to me the existence of a list called Girls. Yeah, hot. This person. Oh, yeah, this is boys.

We've got a bisexual on our hands. Boys. Matt, Leon, Marty, Trent, Wixie, Danny, Andrew E, USA, Oz, Oz2, Kyle iOS. What? The update system. Like the latest iPhone. Have you updated to Kyle iOS? Oh, no, I'm not on Kyle iOS.

Is that a new background? He might have been on iOS. This person has screencapped and sent it, and I can see they were on a Samsung or an Android phone. Oh, okay. So maybe he had iOS. But why would you put that there as a defining feature? It's got to sound like international, overseas, center.

Yeah. With an S. Yeah, but they spell center with an S. Yeah, because it's Italian. Okay, so restarting the list K Yidget Alex

Bogie B-O-G-G-I Bogie Bogie Stelios Oh these are sounding quite hot I think she might have visited Italy Because then it says

Vitally Stasis Greek Which might be more of an indication of the Wait Hayley needs a second She is just She is just having an indication of the year. Wait, Hayley needs a second. She is just...

She is just having the flavours of the world. Fucking their way around the Mediterranean, according to this list. Greek, ion, michal. My God. Sapphire. Someone's done a contiki. Yeah.

Yeah, maybe. Adam, Josh, stretch, shalo, Brady, John, Kevin, Serge, or Patrick. Serge. Yeah. God, italo, Brady, John, Kevin, Serge or Patrick. Serge. Yeah. God, it sounds like she's come home now. Patrick. Yeah.

John, Patrick. She left Europe when she went from Shalo to Brady, John, Kevin, Serge, Patrick. Oh, that's... Congratulations on that. That's some... I think that's a spicy list so far. That's nice. Wow.

We've got some brown in there. I've got something right up your alley. The next one is called Shags. Here we go. Shags! Do I make you horny? It comes from an iPhone and it was screen captured at 6.04pm. Okay. Shags. One.

Brazilian with weird costume. Two. My Brazilian. Okay. Okay, my Brazilian. Three. Okay, my Brazilian. Three, Brazilian from Latino Party. Oh, my God. This sounds great. You want to know the worst thing?

What? Number four, worst shag ever, short white guy. Why'd you come back? Why'd you come back? You can't go three Brazilians in a row and then sleep with a white guy. And go for a short white king and expect the stuff you're going to get from the country. I'm sorry, but, yeah.

Worst shag ever. Yeah. That's sad. Do they go back to Brazil? Christ the Redeemer. Up on that mountain. Yeah. And he's like, told you so.

I fucking told you. I fucking those arms over. He's not asking for redemption. He's like, he's judging. I fucking told you so. Hey. Four was worst shaggy of a white guy Five

D That's all it says D Dot dot dot dot dot dot dot Six We're about to get international again Ladies and gentlemen Oh fuck yes

Six Nigerian Oh Seven Lebanese Oh god Eight Argentinian

37 Yep Nine United Nations. Iraqi. Oh, hello. Ten. We're back to Brazil, baby.

Brazilian number four. Eleven. Afghanistani refugee. Oh, my goodness. I shit you not. I love that. That sounds like it. That sounds, look, look.

It's on the list. It's on the list, yeah. Wow. Yeah, it's on the list. It's on the list, yeah. Wow. It's on the list. Afghani refugee. She's got a real melting pot here. Doesn't she? Number 12, guy from Chile that was a prick.

Oh, fuck him. And then 13, the final on the list, lucky 13, Ethiopian. Oh. I'm just saying. If I was presenting this to the jury, I'd say, I see a pattern here, Jerry. Yeah, I see a pattern. And I'm not saying If I was presenting this to the jury I'd say I see a pattern here Jerry Yeah I see a pattern And I'm not mad about it Some of those are making me take a deep breath

So to speak I'm just saying there's a lot of correlation Correlation is not causation As a statistician I can say that Because I'm qualified I'm a qualified statistician but I'm just saying If you put it up against the list of the big cocks. We've shared those lists before.

I'm just saying there's a Venn diagram of people she's slept with, countries with three pieces. She's considerable overlap. Quite an overlap. Worst shag ever, short white guy really pulling it out of that middle circle. Really pulling it out of that middle circle. The short white guy kind of put her off by the sounds of it.

Yeah, she went back to brown town. This list, I have initials, name redacted, initials, a star rating, and a brief description. Okay. Number one, three stars, first love. Oh, that's nice. You wouldn't know that that was three stars yet, would you? No, she's probably gone back and adjusted stars. Yeah, I think you'd go back and adjust it.

Might have started at five and then later down the track she's like gone back and adjusted stars. Yeah, I think you'd go back and adjust it. Might have started at five and then later down the track, she's like, it was actually three. Well, next, straight from a three, five. The emoji that is a massive smile with a huge tongue hanging out. Oh, yeah, okay. An enigma, two eggplants. So they didn't only get five stars, they also got an additional two eggplants.

So is there other ratings with more eggplants? Okay. It's the only time you're going to see the eggplants on the list. We've found our biggest D. Yeah. An enigma. A bomb D. A beautiful dick too, not just a massive one.

Wow. Number three, three stars. B was three stars, rebound, lived ages away. Okay. F, four stars, second love, emoji of like the cute heart. Oh, that's nice. Do we agree that three's all right? Three's all right.

Three is better than nothing. Three is better than two. But sometimes two, you probably could have just had a one. Yeah, oh my God, I know you could have. Same time. And you wish you did. Save an Uber. I shaved my legs for this.

Yeah, exactly. S is next on the list. Four stars, Russian hottie with a Subaru WRX. Amazing. I love that. Russian hottie. Three stars. I love that. Russian hottie. Oh, sorry. No, I was going to say this.

We should get people to screenshot what people are saved in their phone as. Oh, yes. Like, guy, WRX. Yes. Like, you know, that's how you save them in your phone as well. Yeah. Next is a three-star initial D, hot but a renegade. Oh, yeah.

Oh, we like the bad boys sometimes W isn't it one star oh no W tall but very ick

pre and post oh yeah pre and post yeah that clarity if we've learned anything from our previous list

it's go back to Brazil yeah does she tip a toe in Brazil no Brazilians on the list but we are going to Ireland next. Oh, okay. K is a three-star. Irish, bossy, and quick.

Oh, okay. Okay. T, three stars. Sexy AF, but again, too quick. Okay. Take your time, boys. Take your time. Slow down.

Take your time. We're going to Czechoslovakia for the next one. Oh, yeah. Or maybe the Czech Republic. I'm not sure when they were born. Yeah. Pre or post separation. Four stars for Kay.

Czech, but shady as fuck. Four stars. Good fuck, but shady. Now, we're seeing a return here to the one star. You'll remember one star last time was tall, but ick, pre and post. Yep. Tall, one star. D, a total fuckwit, one out of ten. of ten oh dear i think she's got a thing for tall

boys yeah it's not always landing for her because she's mentioned that these one stars get her in with the tall the tall boys maybe they get a bit of an ego about it yeah you know h is next four stars army beefcake salute emoji dribble mouth oh yeah Sean. That's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. H is next. Oh, no. Yeah, that was Army Beefcake. P is next. Four stars. Taught me some shit.

Oh, wow. Okay. Nice. It's nice when you learn a little something. Yeah. H, two stars. Tall. Yep.

I hate the tall. But fast and had durry breath. Durry breath. Also, the tall boys and the fast Venn diagram, they're really crossing over. Next, one star. Guess what? What?

They're tall. Oh, yeah. B is a one star tall but a narc. Red flag, red flag, red flag. Oh, narc. Narc. N-A-R-C in capitals, like narcotics. Maybe has narcotics rather than works in the narcotics unit.

Or maybe called the Dobbin police line. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. When she left something on the side table. Yeah, maybe. The penultimate person on this list is S. Yeah. Four stars.

Excellent. Has some issues. Oh, okay. That's all right. We all do. Who doesn't? Yeah. Last person on the list, A.

Four stars. My forever love. Heart eyes. Engagement ring. My forever love. We got S? Yeah. Last person on the list. A, four stars, my forever love, heart eyes, engagement ring. My forever love. We got this. Do you reckon the fiance has seen that list?

Four. It's four, not five. The five was the enigma. No, five is never going to be the man you marry. What? Five is not the man you marry.

Oh yeah, but that is, yeah. I want to know I'm five. Do you think you're five? Sometimes you just... No, I don't think I'm five. Sometimes you've got tall guy after tall guy.

You've just got to settle down for a four. Absolutely. Especially with the last list. What, you're telling me that if you could jump in up half of Brazil and Ethiopia that you're going to be five? No, darling. Madness. All right, the next one and the last one for today.

Screenshot from an Android. I don't know why this has become a thing. I think it's because of after iOS. Yeah. We have to address

what kind of, this was screen captured at 18 minutes past six with 85% battery life. Yeah. That's fine. You're not at court. You're not giving

evidence. At 20 past six, you've got 85% battery. You're doing well. That's pretty good. I think you've had an afternoon charge. You've been plugging

in at work. In 2009 JF Kiwi Yep No rankings here We've just got a list 2010 JN

Also a Kiwi Yep 2011 MH Kiwi Now I'm thinking There might have been A relationship

Because there was A four year break Okay 2015 RL Kiwi And EH Kiwi Now I think we're off On our OE

Because in 2018 Brazil Brazil Brazil Brazil Brazil, Brazil. Brazil, Brazil, Brazil. Unfortunately not. Africa. No, unfortunately not. Africa.

Africa. E-R, Irish. Do you have that list by the way of the- Oh yeah, bigger songs? Sorry, carry on. R is just a question mark. We don't know R's last initial or what country they're from. Okay.

B-P, Kiwi, R-V, Brit, 2019. It moves on to M-M, Kiwi, R-C, Kiwi, RV, Brit, 2019. It moves on to MM, Kiwi, RC, Kiwi, SM, Irish. I don't like the initials. You've got more Irish people than me. I'm a bit jealous. You know I like my Irishman. Yeah, I know you do. Now, there's a break from 2019 to 2022 where we come in hot.

Okay, great. JT, Kiwi, 26. Yep. Is this an age, do you think? Maybe TFKiwi19 Now this person has been keeping this list since 2009 So we've got a youngie

So they might be sleeping with someone a little bit younger than them Yeah Fletch, your comment? Hayley, your comment? Hayley, your comment? I always go older You always go older? Yeah

Fletch, you always go older? Yeah, because you're with that 65-year-old at the moment, and you are loving it. It's the best thing of your life. I'm loving it. He'd be blowing my mind. Next, after the 19-year-old Kiwi, FP Bootleg Aussie 28. FP Bootleg?

Bootleg Aussie? Bootleg Aussie. Maybe Bootleg Jeans. Maybe he had a Bootleg jean on. Oh, yeah, maybe. Could be. LB Kiwi 26, LB Kiwi 20, JH, who was a Brit 2023, sees the return to the New Zealand sex people.

Sex partners? Sexual partners? I think that's still in there, OE, because it's got a Kiwi, an Irish, an Aussie, a Kiwi, and a Scot. Not enough Brazilians. Scots are finally on the board. Yeah, but not enough Brazilians. And I'm afraid, Sue, there isn't,

because in 2024, I went BC Kiwi 30, CS Kiwi 27, SM Kiwi 23, LS Aussie 23. Blaine, I don't like the initials of that list if I'm going to give a review. I like a nickname. Yes, I know. It needs a description. I like people that do a description because you never remember. Shaggy boy or beach guy. Now, just as a back-end reference for penis size around the world, here's your top 10 countries.

This is the list you read out once. This is a freshened one from 2024 because it used to be Ecuador. They have dropped. Oh, really? So here's your two. What happened there? Here's your 10. That banana disease.

It's just climate change. It's getting colder. Okay. Cameroon, Colombia, Lebanon. This is working down to up. Yep. Cameroon, Colombia, Lebanon, Venezuela, Nigeria, Ghana, Republic of the Congo, Ecuador, DR Congo, and Sudan is number one. Right.

Do you want the shortest? Nah. Nah, it's not good. We don't need to be out on that stuff here. We'll be back tomorrow with more of these. We're examining people's lists. Apparently people are keeping lists of who they've slept with. I think people worked that out. I forgot we weren't on live radio. Yeah. Because I was like, people might keeping lists of who they've slept with. I think people worked that out for them.

I forgot we weren't on live radio. Yeah. Because I was like, people might just be tuning in and need to know. Yeah, no. No, they've chosen to be here. It's a podcast. They chose to be here. They probably listened from the start.

Do you know how you know it's a podcast? Fuck. Oh, hey, Lee. You can just say that. Shit.