ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 27th September 2023

Episode Date: September 26, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley continue reading the texts we received during todays Impossible Phoner!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fletchborn and Hayley's Little Bitter Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with MyMackers Rewards. Welcome to... Please. We must start the podcast today with a three-way tongue lashing. Three, two, one. Fletch is terrible.

You're so sloppy. Can you imagine it? Oh my god. Can you imagine it down there? Can you imagine it down there? Can you imagine it down there? La la la Welcome to a little bit of pot Wow

Can I say Hayley has been spending all morning Watching videos of Green Party member Chloe Swarbrick You've got the hardest crush on her I've got a hard something for her Sorry that is so inappropriate Now if I'd said it it would have been worse I know sorry Chloe a hard something for her. Sorry, that is so inappropriate. Now, if I'd said it, it would have been worse. I know.

Sorry, Chloe. But yours is just questionable. Yeah. I've got hard respect for her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you meant. The hardest respect. Okay, that's what you meant.

Yeah, right. I thought you had respect for her with short hair, but it turns out the longer hair is making you respect her even more. The heart of the respect. Jesus Christ. Yesterday we also did a little follow-up, didn't we? That's right. We read yesterday's little bit of pod.

So again, today's little bit of pod is sort of a carry-on from the big pod where we did a phone-in topic on an impossible phone-in, which turned out to be highly, highly probable. Highly possible, yeah. Highly possible. Have you been helicoptered out? And some amazing stories that we just simply did not have time for on the radio we just didn't we ran out of time we had to be out by nine o'clock so we thought we'd do them now as a bit of an extra for today's little bit of pod because it's so interesting i'm just going to go

through them as they sit in the text machine we got helicoptered out of anapuri base camp uh when my 17 year old daughter decided not to use sunglasses because they didn't look cool in photos. She went snow blind. What's snow blind? We had to helicopter out because she couldn't see to walk over the avalanche traverses. So just too white? Just too white all day, bright, and your eyes are just like too much. Turns your eyes out.

Shut down. Oh my goodness. Shut down. Oh my God. Also, sunglasses do look cool in photos. Yeah, like sunglasses hide like half of your minga face. I know. The bigger the sunglasses.

I thought I was like... Annapurna, I'm saying that Maori, but Annapurna is the base camp, isn't it? Base camp of... Everest. Everest, yeah, it's in Nepal. It's the 10th highest mountain in the world, Annapurna. That's a bloody amazing spot. I want to go one day.

It's so beautiful. I'm not going up the mountain I want to go one day. It's so beautiful. I'm not going up the mountain, though. I'm too tired. You get Sherpas. I've got no interest in going up the mountain. Zero interest in going up Everest. People just die all the time. Oh, no, I don't want to go.

It's way too fucking dangerous. I don't want to go to the top, but I'd go to base camp. I'd go to base camp. I'd go for a look at base camp. And my mother-in-law's been in a pool And speaks very highly of it A friend of mine He went and broke his ankle Had to get helicoptered out

Air lifted out A base cam? Yeah Jeez Louise Speaking of Speaking of High team Razor here Was working in forestry

When the wire rope On our cable hauler broke No No Hit me across the chest Dude it is lucky It didn't slice you in half Oh my god

Those high tensile cables. That's the equivalent of one of those cheese cutters. You know, with the little wire? To scale. And so you are a block of cheese. Oh my God, that's slicing me.

This is some Final Fantasy. Not Final Fantasy. Final Destiny. It is. It's Final Fantasy 7 where one of the finishing moves is also getting cut in half with a cable hauler.

Yeah. So hit me across the chest, broke a collarbone, six ribs, muscle damage, whiplash, it blew me back so hard. Wow. Swelling in the neck, they thought I was literally going to die. They helicoptered me out, took two months to recover.

Oh my God. The log is, carry me 500 metres up the hill to where a helicopter could land. Wow. Car pie, enjoy the day, razor. You are lucky to be alive and lucky to have workmates. Crazy razor. I couldn't carry Fletch 500 metres. Could I be the day. Razor. I'm lucky to have workmates. I couldn't carry a fletch 500 metres. Could I be fucked? I wouldn't.

I could, but I wouldn't. I could now, not six months ago. You'd be whinging. No, I would carry you, but I would be fucking whinging the whole way. Jesus, God, man. Lay off the scones. I was over in Afghanistan. Afghanistan?

Afghanistan. When I was over in Afghanistan. Afghanistan. Afghanistan. Afghanistan. Afghanistan. When I was 20 and the New Zealand Army had to be helicoptered out and rescued after our Hilux rolled down a cliff. Jeez Louise. Wow. They love a Hilux.

They love a Hilux over there. And the Stans. Yeah. All the Stans love a Hilux. My mum went to Fiordland for a social club on the second day and flash floods, meaning they couldn't get out. They ran out of supplies. They had to be chopped out.

Yikes. That's one thing I hadn't considered. Lots of stories coming in about being somewhere, flash flooding, or like a river just starts rising like crazy, and the only option is helicoptering you out. My partner broke a leg on a family hike with our five kids, aged two to 12, and they needed to get airlifted out. Jeez.

Good luck walking out. Kids will be whinging the whole time. Oh, I see people like taking their kids hiking. I'm like, fuck, they're just whinging the whole time. I've seen people taking their kids hiking. I'm like, fuck, they're just whinging the whole time. Oh, my God. Leave them at home. Leave them in the car. Crank a window.

Had a home birth. I was told baby and I needed to go to hospital. We were in an ambulance for all of two minutes to be told no. We'd taken the helicopter. I was so high from just having my baby, I just went with whatever. The midwife took some photos for me, which then uploaded a week later to show my friends that I went in a helicopter. They were all worried about how hot the medical staff

were standing outside the helicopter. Yeah. Helicopters, they add a certain hotness, don't they? They do. They do, yeah. There's definitely a bit of sexiness.

I was at the Duke of Ed camp, Tramp, with my... Duke of Edinburgh. Naughty kids. Was it the naughty kids? Oh, no, that was... The leadership kids.

No, what was not the Duke of Edinburgh? The other one. We've talked about it before. No. You're thinking of periodic detention. No, the outdoor one that was the leadership kids. No, what was not the Duke of Edinburgh? The other one. We've talked about it before. No. You're thinking of periodic detention. No, the outdoor one that they'd send kids and they've got to sleep alone in the forest. Oh, yeah. What was that called?

That's where you want to leave the kid who's going to think for lighting fires, eh? Alone in the bush. That wasn't for naughty kids. It was at our school. Yeah, then it became leadership. I fell over, hit my head on a rock, got knocked out, so they called a helicopter to come and get me as we were in the middle of nowhere.

I posted a photo on my Bebo. That gives you the time of what had happened. Of my swollen and bruised face a couple of days later, not sure what possessed me to do that, and a boy I liked commented on it and gave me his Bebo. Love for the day. 15 years later, we're married with a baby. Oh, beautiful.

Oh, look at the helicopter, bitch. That's good. That's stunning. Yeah. That's a sexy story. My partner was once lifted out due to bursting a bull horse. Yeah. Yeah.

It was seriously life-threatening, and he was in surgery within the hour. He has a nickname Lefty, and the horse is now known as Nutcrusher. Oh, my God. Bursting, like, her dick. I don't like, I've only ridden a horse once I don't like it It's fun, but I don't have balls They're too powerful

Slip a lip I was on a family holiday Off an island, off Tauranga The island was having a bee problem I was chugging the rest of my drink I didn't realise there was a bee in the bottom of it. The bee stung me deep in my throat. And I had to be helicoptered to the mainland

as I could not breathe. Turns out I met the helicopter driver, I think you meant pilot, four years later, and we're now friends. Oh, cute. My partner was chopping out of the Wymac. The Wymac?

That'll be up. That'll be up, yeah. A riverbed after putting a stick through his neck while motorbiking. He hit a tree. Oh my God. Yuck, yuck, yuck. That'll be up That'll be up Riverbed after putting a stick through his neck While motorbiking He hit a tree Some people just get so close to dying It is so weird I've never been that close to dying There's a stick in my neck

I know a stick If you look down and you're like Oh fuck no Don't pull it Do not pull it My dad got helicoptered off Carwell Island When he fell and hurt himself playing beach cricket. I mean, you've got to come up with a better story.

That's embarrassing. Yeah. Dad didn't want to be out, so he did a dive and he hurt himself. My dad rolled his tractor nine times down a hill and had to be helicoptered to the hospital. But we kept being like, no, no. God, you're going to- Yeah. And we will now-

Watch this. Watch this this we will now pause momentarily for a commercial break we'll be right back i was just gonna say let's wrap it up there oh no i got more great stories okay all right we'll be back we'll be back yeah well i feel like now you've said you were gonna wrap it up people are gonna feel like they're not gonna be worth listening to the other half of this it's good good stuff. I'm indifferent, I'll be honest. It's good stuff. I'll give you a little tease. Oh, okay, yeah, this is good.

After the break, a boulder falls on somebody. Well, that's not a tease. You've literally just said what happens. Who did it fall on? Grandma? Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. And welcome back.

And welcome back. And welcome back. Is Grandma all right? Grandma? Nah, it wasn't Grandma that the boulder fell on. My dad came on school camp, went for a walk, he was showing off, climbed on a boulder, he slipped off and then the boulder fell on him. That's something you'd do? Yeah, 100%.

I've got a big boulder falling on me, energy. You do. I got lifted out of a gorge while kayaking with two friends. We were on the river, there was a flash flood. It had been raining And the river rose Ten metres in the gorge Causing all kinds of mayhem I can only imagine

Fuck no way I was the only one that fell out I ended up on a cliff face Yeah As my friends Ended up getting out at the end And running along the top of the gorge Trying to find me

Found me halfway Trying to climb a cliff I slipped and fell back into the water And held on to something and waited for the Westpac chopper to arrive. Type in kayak trio on the 28th of December, 2010, and you'll find the article of me being rescued. My mum had to be airlifted out when mountain biking.

She fell off and broke some ribs. She was in the forest, so the helicopter had to cut the trees down with its blades. That's not true. That's not true. You can't cut the trees down. had to cut the trees down with its blades. That's not true. That's not true. You can't cut the trees down with- A helicopter cannot cut trees down with its blades. If you didn't see this, you are being lied to.

There is no way a helicopter could cut down its- Unless it- It was a forestry helicopter and blades hung off the bottom. What year did this happen? 2010. 28th of December, 2010. Turns out there's been a lot of trios rescued from a gorge. That's a terrible number of people to go into a gorge with then apparently.

No, I've got no articles here. We've been lied to. They might be lying. What do they need to Google? Type in stuff, kayak trio, December 2010. A simpler time. Yeah, it really was, wasn't it? Oh my God, a simpler time.

What is the thing you're fingers for? Three kayakers are lucky to be it really was, wasn't it? I found out three kayakers are lucky to be alive after caught in surging water at the Odari River Gorge. Constable Mike Stevens of Geraldine said the three 17-year-olds, James Stevens, Nick Love

and Leon Owens were all reasonably experienced but were lucky to get out. I don't know. And then there's one of them dangling off the chopper. How can a 17-year-old be reasonably experienced? Yeah, I mean, maybe they did a lot of kayaking. Yeah, yeah. My friend was rescued after we went to Arthur's Pass with the group, got completely drunk, played a follow-the-rope trail game

in the bush outside our hut, all got drunk and... Oh, you've already established that. And we were blindfolded and randomly one person who organised the game was not blindfolded. He got hit in the head and knocked out by a random falling tree west back helicopter was called the funniest part was does anybody see what happened and out of 20 witnesses literally within three meters of her not one of us could say what was happened because we were pissed and blindfolded jesus yeah there's another dislocated hip skiing i mean i think a lot of stories are coming to us from the mountains.

Yeah, you've got to be careful. Just stay at home on the couch, watch movies. You will not need to be helicopter rescued. You might need to be forklifted out of your house eventually. Don't just cut a hole in the wall and get a forklift in there. Forklift is very versatile these days.