ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 28th April 2023

Episode Date: April 27, 2023

On today's Lil Bitta Pod, Vaughan brings in a new game; The Week that Quaz! (With absolutely ZERO sound effects!)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Thanks to McCafe. Great things are brewing, one cup at a time. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. It's a Little Bit of Pod special called The Week That Quaz. The Week That Quaz. Oh, I was hoping you didn't hit my computer up.

To be honest, I didn't ask you. It's The Week That Quaz. I've made a quiz, or a quaz, because it's the week that wasads I've made a quiz Or a quads Because it's the week that was And a quiz The week that quads The week that quads

It's the week that quads And you guys And you can play along at home Oh okay Okay For you have to Buzz in if you know the answer Okay

To these questions How do we buzz Just say your name if you want Okay What activity this week Was linked to Traumatic brain injuries, finger fractures and shoulder sprains?

Hayley. Yes, Hayley. PlayStation games. Not PlayStation games. Fletch. Fletch. Concussion. No, no, no. It's an activity. This is another result. Something people do that ends the result. Rugby. No. Boxing. Hayley. Self-pleasure.

Masturbation. Not masturbation. No. Boxing. Haley. Self-pleasure. Masturbation. Not masturbation, no. Walking dogs. We're all wrong. Don't buzz. This has no buzzers. This is a no buzzer zone. I'm having sound effects.

No, no, no, no, no. You love the sound effects. My week, the quaz. My week, the quaz. No. My week, the quaz. Jared, please, out of the button bar, delete his ability to buzz. No.

Delete it. Do not touch my buzzer, Jared. Delete it, Jared. Now, I'm alone. No sound effects in the week. The quiz. Born. The quiz.

The quiz. That is unbelievable. Question two in the week. The quiz. So it was walking dogs and overfit walking dogs. Yeah, because they pull on your fingers. Over 65 females far more likely to be hurt walking the dog and traumatic brain injuries because they run around their legs

and then run and the leash trips them over and they bash their head on the concrete. My marching coach, rest in peace, she had a big boxer. Beautiful dog with a lot of energy. He just took off one day and popped her shoulder out. Oh yeah, shoulder sprains and finger fractures because you've got the leash wrapped around the finger and when they run it fractures your finger

or traumatic brain injuries. I feel rude for saying self-pleasure, but you can see the finger fractures. Yeah, whatever's the idea. I put it there. I put it there for that purpose. Number two, in the week that quares. No sound effects.

No sound effects. You get an owl if you get it right. No sound effects. No sound effects. Okay get an owl if you get it right. No sound effects. No sound effects. Okay, I'm sorry. You don't like the Jetsons. I like the Jetsons card. It's a good answer.

It's a classic. A new sculpture of King Charles III was unveiled this week. Made of what? Fletch. Margarine. No. Hayley. Hayley.

Butter. No. Hayley. Chocolate. No, you only get one go each. Hey, chocolate. I remember the article now. Don't.

Fuck. Oh, no. Stop using the sound effects. It's cheapening the entire thing. I like that one. I like that one. 17 litres of chocolate was used to make this. He looked a bit mutiny.

He looked like a character from the back benches. You know how they had those cartoons? Yeah, those puppets. 2,875 melted celebrations chocolates were used. His epilates, is that what the shoulder decorations are called? Made from Twix, Milky Way, Galaxy and Bounty celebrations. Okay. Question three.

What left Sweden this week and arrived in Norway? Fletch. Was it a rocket? It was a rocket. Yes, one point to you. I'm fucking serious. This has got to stop. I know you love sound effects. Sound effects have a time and a place.

Radio shows are not the place. It is not the early 2000s. We use a live bell. A live bell. I'lls. We use a live bell. A live bell. Oh, ding you if you get it right. This is the only acceptable sound effect. Oh, that's a really good one. The hot person bell and the long-time listener first-time caller bell

is now the correct answer bell. And the maths bell. It's the maths bell as well. And when we refer to maths on the show. It was a rocket researching weightlessness. Normally I was really pissed. Yeah, they show. It was a rocket researching weightlessness. Normally I was really pissed. Yeah, they were. Really pissed. They were pissed off.

What surgery is seeing growth and popularity among men? Fletch. Yes, Fletch. It's heightening surgery. It is. I suck. Leg lengthening surgery. Men over 60 are even going in and being like, I just need a couple more inches. You've lived your whole life as a short cane.

I know. We stand our short canes. What's that? It's a squeaky bed SFX. A squeaky bed. Like we're humping. Yeah. That's a really lazy hump, if that's how your bed sounds when you hump.

Yeah. It was a real slow grind, wasn't it? Like they weren't humping any more than like a 10 centimetre up and down. That's more of a solo masturbatory on a squeaky bed. Go ahead. I heard a term. Yeah. Oh, my God.

What was it called? So it was a way Mormon teenagers get around like losing their virginity or having like sex. Up the butt. It was an absolute loophole. No, you just put the end in and then somebody else shakes the bed. Have you heard of that? Soaking. Wait, what?

It's called soaking. Soaking. God, Shanley Pyjamas was quick on the art of this. How do you know about this, Shanley? I love Mormon TikTok. We can't hear you. Oh, hang on. That did that thing where the desk.

That might have been gone off. That was on air. Live on air. That was live on air, whatever you just said. Whatever you said I just said I love Mormons on TikTok Yeah so Mormons

have this big TikTok presence Yeah But what they do is it's not having sex if you're not moving Yeah So they Oh my fucking god

I don't believe this I don't believe this inside of something else No no no it's just the tip Yeah So they put it in and then the friend

must be highly enjoyable for the female will grab the bed and pick it up and shake it. Wait, the friend is there? There's a third person in the room. Oh, okay. It's called jump humping.

And they watch and they say, yeah, and then they'll just be like, we didn't have sex because we didn't actively move. That is such a loophole. Sometimes instead of rocking the bed, the third person is invited to bounce on the bed. To get the movement. Thus generating motion.

I know. Because I saw this thing and I was like, oh, what did you do in college or something? What was the craziest thing? And she said soaking. And I was like, what, like in a tub? Yeah. And then I had to like read the comments.

Like in a lovely glamping getaway. Yeah, but no, it's this thing. There's so many videos on Mormon Talk and they'll go up to Mormons and say, yeah, would you rather drink a cup of cooking oil or a cup of coffee every single person's like cooking oil of course because they don't believe in caffeine caffeine's a drug and they don't do drugs but do they think if they believe in god so hard that god is just only gonna see the emotion of the action and not because

they're like well because i wasn't doing the movement but they know the intention behind putting the tip of your penis at the edge of a woman's vagina and getting your friend to shake the bed. I would love to see what sexologist friend of the show and your podcast co-host Morgan thinks about soaking. We might have to ask her. Also on the soaking Wikipedia page, it's got a whole lot of terms. Durthing is another one.

What's durthing? Non-penetrative dry humping. Oh, you love a bit of a frot, don't you? He loves a bloody rub through the denim. I was saying I did love it. As a teenager, it was underrated. People were quick to skip the dry hump phase of your life. As I've said, you can't go back.

You never can go back. So then there's like, you know how always on Wikipedia it says other pages, see also there's like coitus reservatus and then there's the poop hole loophole. Oh my God. That's what it actually says. But God's like Google Maps. It can only see down and if you've got a roof, you're okay. Yeah, he's bird's eye view.

Yeah, God's bird's eye view only. Let's get back to Quaz. Next question, the week that Quaz. What similar act have a cat and a dog done this week to save lives? Oh, Hayley. Hayley. Called the authorities. No, it didn't call any authorities.

Saved their owners from a fire. No. Chewed on their owners as they slept. Oh, yeah, some guy lost a toe, didn't he? His puppy ate a toe right to the bone. Don't do that. And it was revealed that he had two blocked arteries. He had blockages in his arteries to his legs,

which cut off the feeling, but he didn't know he was asleep. And they said in his sleep, they could have come dislodged and traveled to his heart and killed him. So the dog, the wife walked in, and the dog's like, chewed on the toe till it's like

a bloody stump and she's like, ah! And he's like, what's happening? And she's like, how did you not feel that? And he's like, I can't feel my leg. How did the dog know? It didn't. It was just a puppy. It was just hungry. The puppy started chewing on something and wasn't told to stop. Oh wait, it was by chance. I thought it was one of those intuitive dogs.

And a cat went downstairs to its owner's partner and he was just sitting watching TV and it bit him and he chased it and the cat ran upstairs and he found his wife in a diabetic coma. Oh, wow.

And the cat had been with her because she was like warm and there was cat hair on her chest so the cat went down and went, See, my cat would just eat me. He'd just start eating me if I was there. Your cat would be the worst mix of both of those stories. And because you live alone,

your partner wouldn't have screamed when they saw your bloody toe. Yeah. What went down during school pick-up in a village in Haslington-on-Cheshire this week? Ooh. I don't know. That's the school bell.

A runaway bull was shot dead by police. Oh, far out. Yeah, the parents were there and some bull got out of a farm And was running the road And apparently they just shot it Straight in front of these people Did he go into a china shop?

No china shop Not having a look at the plates? God Some beer went on sale this week What was the big deal with that beer? Hayley Hayley It was endangered

An endangered beer No ma'am No idea It was from An endangered beer No ma'am No idea It was from the cancelled Coronation of Edward VIII Oh You know how the queen's dad

Became king Only because his older brother Was like Well I want to go I want to have sex With this frotty little lady I'm going to have sex With a woman who's a divorcee

Yes And he abdicated And he went out But they brewed all this beer And it was lost And then they found it Like ten years went out but they brewed all this beer and it was lost and then they found it like 10 years ago and now they're like

well we'll put it up for sale because it's a coronation beer. Lovely. Disgraced former National MP Aaron Gilmore

has denied claims he tried to sell what on Trade Me this week? Aaron Gilmore. I don't know if you guys remember him.

Oh yes. Oh no idea. A real life leprechaun. Jesus Christ. The ad contained an AI generated images of a leprechaun and Jesus Christ. The ad contained an AI-generated images of a leprechaun, and the reserve price was $6,850.

He does have bills to pay. Yeah, okay. And you may remember him when he was a national MP, and he said he was a member of the Chartered Financial Institute, and he wasn't. Or when he said, do you know who I am? I could have John Key get you fired when a barman denied him further alcohol service in 2013. Oh, you're that guy.

Okay. And then his parents took him to court for a quarter of a million dollar loan they gave him and he never paid back. Who died this week? Whose lookalike died this week? Hayley. I know this. Jerry. Jerry.

No, Kim Kardashian's. Kim Kardashian's lookalike died this week. A 34-year-old was believed to have died of a cardiac arrest during a botched cosmetic surgery. Oh, yeah, because she wanted to look like Kim K. She looked a lot like her. Jerry Springer did die. Yes. Yeah.

What was the 20th most trusted brand for New Zealanders this week? Ah, you said that. Hayley. Hayley. The 20th? 20th. The 20th was... Shannon.

Oh, Arnott's. Not Arnott's. Arnott's was on it. Arnott's Arnott's was on it Arnott's was on it But it wasn't 20 I know I said it was weird But Huntley and Palmer's Huntley and Palmer's Yes

Yes How are they the 20th Most trusted brand Those fucking crumbly fuckers Nearly kill me every time I eat Fucking crumbly fuckers Those fucking Crumbly fucking fuckers

Those fucking crumbly fuckers What Wellington landmark Got broken again this week Hayley Hayley The Hayley. The whir. No. Whirr bucket fountain.

No. Lendlie. Lendlie. The needles. The needles. Whirrler. Whirrler. Whizzler Whirrler. Yeah, you all got that.

I'm going to point to whoever can tell me how many hundreds of thousands it costs. 200,000. 500,000. 300,000. We're right in the middle. Dinsdale, Hamilton, laundry and deodorant. What's the link? Hamilton.

Yeah, Dinsdale's and Hamilton. Laundry and deodorant. What's the link? Fletch. People are climbing into laundromat dryers or washing machines and huffing themselves. Correct. Teenagers are huffing in them. Why don't you read the news a lot?

Correct. Get a life. Correct. Get a social life Finally Final question Thirteenth question We've got lunch Breakfast

Who announced their plans To run for president this week Hayley Hayley It was Cause I got high Because I got high Afro man

Afro man Yes it was Well and Joe Biden Oh yeah yeah That was kind of Yeah but fuck that guy Yeah Afro man Yes, it was. Or Joe Biden. Oh, yeah, yeah. That was kind of awesome. Yeah, but fuck that guy. Yeah.

Fuck, man. I hate you so much right now. I know, I know. You love sound effects. I hate them. I just wish you were on my grill. I like sound effects. I've got a time and a place. But don't just. You love sound effects. I hate them. I just wish you were on the ground. I like sound effects. I've got a time and a place,

but don't just like bombard people with sound effects. It's cheap. It's cheap. Nah, we're going to go. It's cheap and it's lazy. It's cheap and it's lazy. I've got math. Bye.