ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 28th July 2024

Episode Date: July 27, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Vaughan's Father-in-Law had a Request!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod Great things are brewing at McCafe The perfect start to every day Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod Well as regular show listeners and podcast listeners will know My father-in-law is now my neighbour Yes Used to be your roommate

Used to be our house mate Used to be in our house for quite some time But he's moved into the granny flat Most I've noticed your stress levels are a lot down I'm a calm king He used to be in our house for quite some time, but he's moved into the granny flat. We've got it on our place. I've noticed your stress levels are a lot down. I'm a calm king. You're a zen. I'm a zen. I'm a zen.

I'm at zen. And I think if he'd just moved straight into the granny flat, I would have been like, ooh, that's close. But because he's been closer, you know the old, you know? I know how bad it could be So this is good You've moved You've moved from Solitary confinement

To the gen block Yeah gen pop It's gen pop Still in prison But it's better It's gen pop So he's next door And that's fine

And I went over there The other day I was fixing A part of the shower Do you give him notice Do you give him 48 hours notice Nah that's the good thing about it

You just rock straight in. Don't even knock. Nah. I hope he takes you to court. Yeah. I'm waiting for the day that he's, you know, pants off.

Do you think he is a chronic masturbator? I'm not. I'm not. I wouldn't say chronically. I wouldn't say chronically. Straight to just, he plays with himself the normal amount to chronic. I'd just say standard amount. Straight to just he plays with himself the normal amount to chronic.

I'd just say standard amount. For a man of 73, I don't know what the standard amount is about. I mean, if Hayley had a whole house to herself, the pants would never be off. The pants are seldom on as it is. You are a man who lives by himself. And the pants are never on. He's a chronic masturbator. We've got chronic masturbators.

You can do whatever you want. Anytime we stay at Fletcher's, he's always a little bit gutted. He's got to put his pants on. I know's He's always a little bit gutted Yeah yeah yeah He's always like Yeah god damn it I know cause Big hearted James Has been saying Moving into his flat

This weekend But he's been away so much But it is Big heart Terrible flat mate No he's a great flat mate He goes through so many flats Oh no

No not because of him I'm just saying It's common denominator Have a bad flat mate You had a bad flat mate Constantly be shifting out of flats No it's just been like Just people moving out and it's just been kind of- It's definitely nothing to do with us turning up on the weekends.

There was once. There was once. There was once we were the problem. I actually think those flatmates are the ones that have remained around the longest too. Yeah. As friends. As true friends. As friends.

In the group. I do feel aggrieved though when people say, because I'm like, put undies on. I know. Because, you know, I'll go for a little Walk to the toilet At 1am And I don't want to Run into them nude

Yeah Fair enough With your big flappy dick out Wow How did we get here Chronic masturbation So your father-in-law Is a chronic masturbator

I don't think he is Borderline has a problem And boy You know what I just thought When I thought I'm about to tell you what the purpose of this break was, I thought I might get in a little bit of trouble. Now I feel like, regardless of what I say next, I'm already in trouble because this

whole chronic masturbator thing is chronic. And I fixed up part of the shower, the little roller thing, and on the way out he's like. Has he been using the shower head? Now that's creative. I thought that was a woman only thing, but good for him. No, it's on the wall it doesn't come off so you've got to be

quite the gymnast to use that to wank get a stool get a ladder yeah upside down and on the way out he said by the way

when I was in there he cranked into a bit of Westlife he's like Siri plays Westlife and then I got three Westlife songs god he's a comedy show

on tap overseas from coast to coast that's Westlife isn't it find a place around comedy show on tap. Overseas from coast to coast. That's Westlife, isn't it? Find a place around the most. No, no, no. Can you go and can you play me some Westlife? Absolutely not.

I'm going to make me get lost. Because I don't know what Westlife's song was. He started with, I would say, probably the hardest. My love. What's that one? Is all I need. No, no, no. That one.

Not that one. Not Uptown Girl. Wonder where you are. World of Our Own. It's like love. Something about I. If I let you go. If I lay my love on you.

Maybe. Or my love. Hello, my love. Nah. Try my love. Nah. Not enough. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is it. This is it. This is the one. This is the one. This is the one. And he starts singing this Singing along yeah An empty house

A home without my heart He must be He must be planning a Recording of it A cover I reckon I could jump on this As a duet I've told you multiple times

He has said to me Vaughan you must bring up With Hayley I don't actually know If this is recording It's not is it Why can people not hear it Hang on hang on I'll bring it into this

Oh it's in our ears but not yours What was it called again My love Okay stand by stand by Oh my god we must Are you learning to do the buttons, babe? This is it? That's it.

That's it. I love it. I'll start again, you go again. That's it. This one. I love this. This one. So I'm fixing the shower in this.

Wait, can we just listen? I haven't listened to this for ages. I didn't have you pegged as a Westlife fan. I grew up in the 90s. Same. Same, but yuck. I don't know if I heard it, but I don't know it. Hang on a second.

I wonder how. I wonder why. Can I do a duet with you further along? Here you are. I've said it and I wasn't kidding. He's like, Vaughn, you've got to bring it up to Hayley in a way that she knows I'm serious. But he wants to sing with you Oh my I remember the first time

He saw you sing On a video from the show He's just like She can sing The voice of an angel Almost as well as I can sing That's fair I like it

He's confident He's got a set of parts There's one thing He doesn't lack It's confidence of his own So he sings me Westlife or something I don't know if he's singing for me.

Yeah, because you fixed his shower. And this is the payment. I get paid in a concert. It's like a cat bringing in a dead mice. Yeah, he's like, thank you, my love. Yes, yes, much like a cat. It's not a gift I want, but the cat doesn't know that. No.

The cat is proud of its hunting prowess. Fair enough. Even though I don't eat mice. And then on the way out, he said, I've seen a pile of bricks hunting prowess. Fair enough. Even though I don't eat mice. And then on the way out, he said, I've seen a pile of bricks at your house. And I said, yeah.

Like tile bricks. And we pulled up the garage out front of Izzy's tile and I just stacked them up. If anyone wants some tiles, let me know. Not fire bricks? Nah.

Damn it, I want some fire bricks, man. Those would be used. Real 90s pavers. Real 90s pavers. Yeah. Real 90s pavers. And he said,vers. Yeah. Real 90s pavers. And he said, is it all right if I grab, say, six? Six specifically?

There's like over a thousand there. Knock yourself out. Might I ask what you want six bricks for? And he said, I saw online you put them under your speakers. It makes your speakers sound so much better. Oh, I guess so. He's like, the carpet, it absorbs too much. Oh, yeah.

And I was like, I can kind of see what you're saying, but those are $20 speakers from the warehouse. Like, do you know what I'm doing? My king, I don't know if you're going to get, you know, a Bose-level sound out of those Anko speakers. Yeah, wow. I just don't know if they're capable of it. So he's putting some bricks under speakers.

He hasn't yet, but his plan is, I said they're pretty filthy. He's like, no, no, no, I'll scrub them. Don't worry, I won't wreck the carpet. I'll scrub them. That's a good tenant. So he's gonna He's like a bajillionaire. Why doesn't he just buy a really nice sound system? Yeah, with like legs on

them that hold them off the carpet. No, you don't need it. Just chuck a couple of brickies under there. Who needs to spend the money when I can get some free bricks? And they're not bricks. I can see how a brick, like a cinder block, a cinder block would work because it's got the gaps in it. And it's absorbent as well.

It's porous, sorry, is what I mean. So the sound would kind of... I can see a cinder block working. I can't see a flat tile brick working. But if he believes it's making it better... And he will.

Then that's fine. And he'll put the bricks there and he'll be like... Amazing. You won't believe it. It's as good as BMW speakers now. Will you give him six bricks?

He'll sing you a nice song for it as well. Yeah, I will. And even better, I'll jump on that nice song for it as well. Yeah, I'll print it together. I'll jump on that song. Yeah.

You should. My love. What song would you like to sing with him? A famous duet, I'll put it forward. I feel like it's got to be, I hate to say,

no, I was going to say Islands in the Stream. Yep. It's a hard single. He will want to do Dolly. Have at. Because you know at

the moment if he wants to record a duet, he just does it with himself. Oh, that's bliss He does He does We could do

Don't go breaking my heart And he's hard of hearing too So sometimes I'll be knocking on the door I can hear him Yeah that's why Listening to his own Does he go

Don't go breaking my heart I got it if I try Does he do a girl's voice He'll lay down the men's track Yeah he lays down the tracks Doesn't he And then he'll do He's a pro.

He's all right. It's all good. Well, I can't wait for the medley. Oh, God, me too. Me too.