ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 28th May 2024

Episode Date: May 27, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Another Naughty Little Poll!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bitter Pod Great things are brewing at McCafe The perfect start to every day Fleshborn and Hayley's Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty

Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty

Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty little pole. Naughty little pole. Naughty little pole. Naughty little pole. Tis a naughty little pole. Consider this your warning. Yeah, we did. We put up a few naughty little poles on Instagram. And today, what do you watch your porn on? Now, obviously, a trigger warning and an explicit content warning.

Please tap out if you have small ears listening. Yeah. Or you are small. I've got cute ears. Or could you be, what if you're an adult with small ears listening. Yeah. Or you are small. I've got cute ears. Or could you be... What if you're an adult with small ears? Yeah, that's what I meant. I've got mine are big or small.

They're just perfect. Okay. What if small ears is somebody's kink? Yeah. Ew. They're like an adult with a small ear. Sure. Okay.

What do you watch your porn on? The options were television. What are you, a fucking madman? I'm fucking insane. You're a fucking madman. It fucking insane I'm a fucking madman It's too big It's too big up there It's too much

Yeah Phone Free hands iPad What a gentleman's choice Yeah No I don't have an iPad

Or the laptop Laptop Laptop Okay so I'll go in Order from Bottom to top The lap's busy Television Tummy top Tummy top Not a laptop I tell you just on the in order from bottom to top. The lap's busy.

Television. Tummy top. Tummy top. Not a laptop. Until he just on the, just on the gut. Just for a little bit, it becomes a tummy top. The gut's top.

What do you watch your porn on? The gut's top. Television. 2% of people watch. Wow. 2% of absolute mad men. So are they, are they on their phone and then,

or their laptop and then, streaming it to the TV? Yeah. Don't know. Mirroring it? I don't know. Or are they actually like, typing into the browser it to the TV? Yeah, like... Don't know. Mirroring it? I don't know. Or they're actually, like, typing into the browser of their smart TV. Pornhub.com.

Oh, God. In the browser. Okay. I've never used the internet browser on my TV. Nah, too slow. I always accidentally hit the button. I know. I shouldn't be one of the shortcut buttons.

Nah, you get rid of it. So television was 2%. Tablet or iPad, 6%. That's made for porn. No, it's all floppy. McFly. Because you've got to have it on the stand and stuff next to you. Laptop is 8%.

84% of people are watching it on their phone. What? 84% of people are watching their porn on their phone. That's wild. Laptop. Well, you'd think so, yeah. Laptop's deadlit. They don't film that in 4K for you to watch it on the phone.

Yeah, oh yeah, the porn industry's really upset that you're not... They're doing it for the art's sake. ...enjoying the quality of their productions. This is a 4K camera. Oh my God, it's so unexpected. Yeah. Let's go to Henry first. Okay.

Henry said, I've had one of those spam emails about the fact that they've been recording you on your laptop for extortion money. So he used my phone. Which? Because I know I ain't seeing nothing, because it ain't seeing nothing good. Yeah, but the phone has a front facing camera, Henry. Yeah. If they're recording you on your laptop, Henry, I imagine they're only going to get your awkward face being like, yeah.

Which is like, who gets? Who cares? Who cares? Everybody does it But no Henry's They've got Henry there They freaked Henry out Yeah

James Surprise surprise Two guys in a row Nice try cops I'm not answering He felt He felt like it was a trap Yes

Because that's what These naughty little polls Also can be those ones Where the partner's like Hey what did you vote for Can I look at your story And go back Oh yeah Yeah And hey, what did you vote for? Can I look at your story and go back? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. And then see what they voted for. But you'd know what your partner watches their porn on. Yeah. Sure. Well, you'd think so. But no, but you know, some people don't like their partner watching porn. Or some people sneak.

Grow up. Grow up. Grow up. Well, Aaron, you've described him before as a technophobe. Yeah. Does he have a stack of mags under his bed? Yeah, he's flipping through the old The bags

He's old school Um Okay Nikki I don't know what she said Keeps itself upright So my hands are free And she wrote

iPad I think she might have voted iPad Yeah That's an iPad vote Or laptop Yeah Keeps itself upright So my hands are free

Yeah That's why I think laptop Yeah Okay Okay So Nikki's on the laptop there Good on you mate Yeah It keeps itself upright So my hands are free Yeah that's why I think laptop Yeah Okay Okay so Nicky's on the laptop there Good on you mate Good for you mate Phil said

Depends If you want a posh wank You'll get out the laptop Wow Really indulgent It's like Do you remember how we talked about Like old

Like millennials Older millennials And like Gen X Cannot make a big purchase on an iPhone. Yes. Or a phone. Yeah. It's got to be on a desktop or a laptop.

So you've got all the details nice and clear before you. You've got a keyboard for the time. If you're having a big posh wank, it's laptop or desktop. Wow. Desktop posh wank. Desktop. You're sitting in the office having a wank? You're not sitting

at your desktop are you no he lives alone he's sitting at his desktop you monster you can put it

on your TV you live alone and no one can see into your apartment you can see my TV from the street you can see the TV for sure

from that apartment across from him no pull the curtains no because I've had my TV on and like gone to the supermarket or gone downstairs and seen my TV you can see TV on and gone to the supermarket or gone down season

seeing my TV. You can see it on. You can see the whole TV. That's a posh wank if you're drawing the curtains. No, not with the curtains pulled. He's got shears though. You'd be able to see

the shape of things. And the cat's torn massive holes with them so he's going to have bloody preliminous hands there. See right through them. Actually, now I want to look after your house

when you go one weekend for a nice couch wank. Yeah, I know. Beautiful. I'm masturbating with my couch. Settle in. That is go one weekend for a nice couch wag. Yeah, I know. Beautiful. You're not masturbating on my couch. Settle in. It's unbelievable. Big TV.

Nice surround sound. Yeah, fuck. Get it up there. No one's there. Get it up. Just walk around. Not panicking that you're about to be walked in on. No.

What are we doing? Have a little drink. Stop halfway. Oh, my God. The bar is there. Stop halfway. Stop halfway. Go for a walk around.

Hop in that beautiful shower afterwards. Clean yourself up. Oh, yeah. Walk The bar is there. Stop halfway. Go for a walk around. Hop in that beautiful shower afterwards. Clean yourself up. Oh, yeah. Walk around with your stiffy hooky. Yes. This is just what living alone is like. Holy fuck. I might book in the week after you, actually.

That's a way. Actually, that's great. Yeah, that'd be lovely. Yeah. I'll pop a towel down. I'm pretty excited about this. Is this what big-hearted James does when he looks after my apartment? Absolutely.

Andrew, pissy. He's having a wank in your house. Oh, God. Shit, yes. I'd love to know how many of the gaggle have had a wank in your house. Oh God. I'd love to know how many of the gaggle have had a wank in your house.

All of them. And I'd say the wank would be on the low end of the thing. What do you watch your porn on? Alex, who has exactly the same

name as my old sister-in-law, but this is a male version. Oh wow. On the phone, though, I have been known to pop it

onto airplay to the TV for full resolution. Wow. Alex might have popped it around to Fletcher's place. Or you had a luxurious wing. You find that great video, you're like, this is a good find. You're like, this is worthy of AirPlay. Screen mirror. Oh, yeah.

We've all got that one video that you're like, tried and true. Yeah. I don't got a lot of time to be browsing. And then you forget about it, and then it's accidentally back on the front page one day and you're like oh my god my old friend hello my old friend a reunion how are you two let me slip out of these oh my god i missed you two good to see you guys still hanging out two there's three of mine um Kim says Watch porn? How dare you I read it like a lady

Oh yeah She's in for a long haul Phone for all my audible stuff Yeah In the quinine You're a multimedia mess I just do it all Books

Phone Books Laptop Audio Analog Eyes to ears To ears to eyes Eyes back to ears

To ears Mason said Phone back to ears To ears Mason said Phone for when you need that I don't quite know What Mason means here Phone for when you need That happy ending convenience Just convenience

Right there I guess Oh you mean like He doesn't need to just Roll over the phones Beside the bed Phone's already in your hand You might as well

Yeah It's out of the way easy You gotta prep the area You gotta prep your masturbation station of course I'll put in a bit of prep Mason you actually

deserve it alright I don't want anybody skimping on their next wank yeah I don't want anyone skimping on their next wank

and when we'll see you all at Fletcher's place you're not used individually individually I'll put my towel down I'll do you a favour I've got my towel down

I'm not a monster. I don't want to leave sweaty arse marks on your towel. You'll have to bring the bissel over just in case there's a rogue. I'll bring the bissel. Just in case.

Just in case. Just in case.