ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 28th October 2024

Episode Date: October 27, 2024

Content Warning- may not be suitable for young ears On today's Lil Bitta Long Weekend Pod, we explore your laid lists!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fleshwood and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with MyMackers Rewards. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. And over the long weekend, and that's why there's no big pod today here. It's a long weekend, a labour weekend in New Zealand. But we are delving into the screenshots of your lists that you keep. I think apparently all women,

nearly all women apparently are doing this on their notes, on their phone. We do. On their phone cups. We assume, by the way, we assume that this is all we're messaging in. We don't know, do we? It could be a homosexual man. It's giving big female energy.

It's giving big woman energy. So we're going to start off today. I'm very happy about it. We've got four very different types of list keeping. The first one I'm going to read from the Notes app. Yeah. Screen capped at 748. Battery looks at about 90% full.

Good. Full bars on both Wi-Fi and reception. Okay, great. Notes. First one, name redacted. Second one, hot cop. Oh, yes. Bit of a description there.

Wow. Hot. Hot. Hannah's almost tempted. A bit of a description there. Wow. Hot. Hot. Haley's almost tempted just to drive home with her seatbelt off. Yes. What? Some old. I was like, she'll have an accident.

Never in my. Maybe just a widdle one. Maybe just a widdle nose to twail. Okay, so then we've got some redacted names. We've got third and fourth are both redacted. Fletch, if I could have my auxiliary cord, because ladies and gentlemen, we're back. To Brazil.

Yay! Big show favorite, big show favorite. Our listeners, they take after us. We're like their parents and they're taking after us. They love the Brazils. This list is about to get very international. Okay, great. No, you guys loved your international list before.

That was our favorite list, the international list, Hayley, wasn't it? Oh, my God. We stuck around in Brazil only to leave to go to Africa for a bit. Yeah. So this Brazilian hottie's next on the list. Then Harry, but Harry is spout H-A-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-Y Oh, it must be a Gary.

Must be a running joke there. Charlie 2.0 is next on the list, then name redacted. Sammy is next on the list, followed by Felipe Fingers. Oh, Felipe. Felipe Fingers. He sounds like he could be French and very good with his fingers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I will make love to you, but first of all, my fingers will feed. Oh, come on. Don't say that. Wish I had said I didn't like it. Don't say that. Lando is after Felipe Fingers. Then, German Pilot.

Oh. What about Hot Cop and German Pilot? If this was 1943, I'd be saying, absolutely no way. You can't sleep with the Luftwaffe. No, no. But Lufthansa. Nice uniforms, though. He's getting out his bloody showing his Lufthansa.

His Red Baron. Yeah. Popping out his Red Baron. Gives a look at your Lufthansa. I'm going to get out my Red Baron. You get out your Snoopy. We'll come to a Christmas accord. German pilot followed by Swiss lover.

Oh, yeah. You forget we're all mingers here, right? I've had a couple of Swissies. Unknown decaf is next on the list. That's something that maybe looked coffee. Oh, unknown brown. I was thinking it could have been like a barista maybe maybe maybe she works hospo yeah and they've come in and they order decaf yeah and she was like do you do you want to calf this you know you guys ready to go international i've got my passport baby Albanian barber Wow Spicy

I don't even know what to picture AI draw me an Albanian barber Free haircut so Yeah beautiful Almost international and alphabetical From Albanian barber to Belgian human rights lawyer Oh my god Speaking French

Free some prisoners come home and then absolutely rail me. I was not speaking as myself. Sorry, it was a character. I'm not into Brazilian human rights. No, Belgium. Belgium, yeah. Maybe Brazilian. Free some prisoners and come home and rail me.

Oh my God. Ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring. Hello. Hi, how was your day at human rights court? I don't know, the Hague or whatever. It was wonderful. I freed the prisoners.

Are you coming home now? I'm on my way. Come home and rail me. How many prisoners did you free, baby? What? Do you want to free my breasts? And then rail me. And then rail me.

Sometimes I forget I'm not with our friends. Yeah, I know. This microphone really gets in the way of us just catching up. then rail me and then rail me sometimes i forget i'm not with our friends yeah i know this microphone really gets in the way of us just catching up belgian the human rights lawyer followed up by young german okay right young german very timid it says i like the germans to be timid okay hamoudi is next on the list hamoudi hamoudi i feel like that's a great where are we moving here middle east albania. Down further around. Renko is on the list after that.

Another Safa guy in brackets. Mike? Question mark? Okay. Safa guy. Mike? Mike. Mike.

Dutchie Traveler is next on the list. Oh. Here's one. Next on the list. Okay. This is maybe my favorite list because we've got such a variety. Okay. I love this.

So far, we've had Brazilian hotties, you'll remember so far we've had brazilian hotties german pilot had an albanian barber albanian barber human rights lawyer from belgium obgyn oh my god they slept with a gyno a gyno not a client i hope but there's no um there's no rating there is it because it'd be terrible if you slept with a gynecologist. And he didn't know his way around a vagina. Yeah. They're like, what's this? Yeah, you should definitely know that. Italian birthday sex.

Oh. I've never known their name. That's nice. All they know is they were in Italy and it was their fucking birthday. Yeah. Gavin in the US military. Gavin. Gavin.

I don't know why it's really tickling me, Gav. No. And we, you know, salute our troops. We thank you for your service. Yeah, thank you for your service. Frenchie BAS is next. BAS. BAS.

I don't know. Frenchie, capital's BAS? BAS is in capitals. Acronym. Acronym. Frenchie bad at sex? Maybe. Maybe.

Next is Aussie traveling. Yeah. Then Manchester Puss Savage. Oh my fucking god! You're going now Manchester! Open up love, I'm fucking coming in! Fucking

oi oi oi! Stop, stop, stop. Imagine a football hooligan. Manchester fucking city! Oi oi oi! Nothing to me! Alright. A football hooligan. Manchester, fucking city. Oy, oy, oy. Nothing to me. Okay, stop, stop. Portuguese.

Next. Portuguese Emirates cabin crew. Oh, my God. Portuguese. That is nice. Interesting. Portuguese. Yeah.

German artist CPH. Can't. Because the next guy is Danish guy. CPH. I should make it in Copenhagen. Could be Copenhagen. Copenhagen. CPH is the airport code for Copenhagen.

I reckon we've got a flight attendant here. I think we've got a flight attendant here. Shagging away around the world. Yes. We've got a flight attendant here. God damn it. For sure. God damn it.

Copenhagen. This is why I could never be a flight attendant. When I said BAS was bad at sex What do you think that is BAS Frenchy BAS Airport code

Is Buenos Aires Solomon Solomon Islands Bachelor of Applied Science But it could be Buenos Aires Is a BAS I've just googled acronym

I reckon bad at sex I'll stick with that Bad at sex Okay Wow That was a great list That was a great list That was a great list That's the end of their list

Great list We're only on the first one Of this day Keep going Keep going Darl This one's a short one Only four Okay

First name redacted Would not fuck again Gave me a weird hug As he came What like Came in the door Or like As in he

Like a cuddle Made very few sounds When fucking What, like came in the door? Or like as in he... Like a cuddle. Made very few sounds when fucking. No, don't be silent. Next is a person name redacted. 30-something, lives alone in Onehunga. Nice guy, got a bit too chummy in a lot of messages. Didn't stop messaging after being told no.

He's been blocked. Okay. Next person name redacted. Hot, available during the day Smokes weed Inconsistent with message replies Oh no We can't be bothered with that And the last person on their list

Hot Large Christchurch What more do you need to know? What more do you need to know? Great It's simple Yeah

Next list God damn it Okay this is a good list guys We need our passports This is a whole arc Okay go This is an arc list Not passports We're not going international so much Man, go. This is an arc list, not passports.

We're not going international so much. Man, we just collected a lot of stamps. List. Redacted name, location, couch. Michael Jackson died. Oh. So we're in 2008. We're in 2009.

Nine. Someone on the couch, Michael Jackson died during or at the time. That would kill the mood, wouldn't it? 2009. He's gay now. Oh. I've got a few of mood, wouldn't it? 2009. He's gay now. Oh. I've got a few of those. I edited this.

Right. He's gay now. Can't remember his name. 2009. Blonde. Lots of tongue. Nope. That obviously means nope.

It means lots of tongue while kissing. See if you can pick up a subtle difference in this entry. Okay. 2009. She's married now. Oh. That wasn't subtle. That wasn't entry. Okay. 2009, she's married now. Oh, that wasn't subtle. That wasn't subtle. Low.

I mean, she shags. Bisexual in the house. Yeah, a bit of bisexual. 2010, name redacted, although I can see it's Luke. Stage five, Clinger. Oh, my God. Stage five, Clinger. Great.

Oh, my God. 2010, hot, hot bad boy, tall, huge issues, went to boarding school. Yeah, Hayley and I didn't think you were going to say that. Hot, tall, bad boy, huge. I was like, what are we? What, we got anyone else after this? Name redacted. 2011, married now, named his daughter after me.

No, named his daughter the same name as you. Yeah, and your name's probably like, I don't know, Emma. Yeah, yeah. We would have psycho. So this says redacted name 2.0. So this is obviously the second person of the same name that they've slept with. We've still got the Brazilian anthem playing in the background. Yeah, but just in memory.

No, I think we're on to the Cyprus anthem now. Oh, great. All right, keep going. Okay, keep going. No Cypriots on the list so far. Is that the correct name? Sure. I should have just stuck with it.

It sounded good. Cyprotonians. I should have doubted myself. Cyprusians. What's this one? Britain. Canada. That's not Britain.

Carry on. Now, this is so-and-so 2.0, 2011 to 2012. Okay, so we're shagging all year. Terrible. Bought Rubik's Cube. Zero out of 10. Yeah. Zero out of 10, but you shagged for a year.

Or maybe... Crossovered. From 2008. You just shagged more than once. Sounds like it. Redacted name 2013. Talked a lot about writing music for a war memorial. What?

Tried weird shower stuff, not over his ex. Okay. Oh, yeah. Okay. Like you're in the shower and he's like, my ex really loved this. Purs on your feet. I was thinking purs on your feet. Oh, weird shower stuff.

Oh, right. Weird shower stuff, not over his ex. Yeah, wait at least how many dates until you're doing that in the shower. Oh, my God. A year's worth. 2013. Redacted name just says good. 2013.

Next one. Redacted name. Hot. I think I like girls. Cute. 2014. Redacted name. Hot.

I think I like like girls. Okay, great. I see where the arc's going. Redacted name. 2014. Hot. I think I like girls a lot. Redacted name.

Back at it again. Still good lot Redacted name Back at it again Still good Redacted name 2014 So clingy But she squirts Now we are going to say Oh no

Please don't say that Wait Now this is the case to me So clingy But she squirts It's just a lot of washing, isn't it? It's a lot of wash. No, to me, so clingy is, that's negative. Very clingy, that clingy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But indicates a change. Yeah, so she's happy with that. That's the negative, but she squirts. The positive is she does that. She squirts. That's fine. I take that as a compliment.

Yeah. I personally don't. I just think the upkeep It's probably not a long term thing I haven't Carry on I'm about to I haven't been with one

I can't comment I'm about to eat lunch So carry on Bourne carry on please I'm off mic Off mic This is a conversation for later Why are we carrying away

Because of the lists We're opening up And then the last thing She wrote on the list Is back with him Oh Oh wait Oh no That was the arc That was the arc That was the arc We was boys And then it was like She wrote on their list Is back with him Oh Oh wait Oh no

That was the arc That was the arc That was the arc We was boys And then it was like I think I like girls We went into girls There was the

And then And then back with him Always back to the D Okay Always You always go back to a D Wow What a wild ride

I'm so proud of our listeners We've got one last one We've got one last one The Slade Is what this note Is called Okay I think it's one. The Slade is what this note is called. Okay. I think its title is The Slade. As in she or he has slayed them.

Slayed them. Okay. First one, name redacted, just says virginity lost. Yep. Great. Gotta get it done. Second. Like it's a chore.

Get it done. Second, micropenis. Oh, interesting. I had one. Name redacted, micropenis. Interesting. And also the micropenis has a red squiggly line under it, indicating it's not a word. It's a spelling mistake. Oh, interesting. Name redacted, micropenis. And also the micropenis has a red squiggly line indicating it's not a word.

It's a spelling mistake. Oh, right. Notes application is having trouble with the word micropenis. Screen capped at 7.30pm, full Wi-Fi, two bars of cell reception and 35% battery. Now wait, are they saying micropenis because the very first person they slept with, they have an unrealistic expectation.

Hold your horses. Okay. Because micro is an actual medical condition. Hang in there. Okay. This list. It's wild, is it? Third, took his virginity.

Okay. So you remember first, lost the virginity. Second, micropenis. Third, took his virginity. Fourth, hung like a horse. Ouch, ouch, ouch. Oh, okay. So right.

I think she's had the whole spectrum. We're on another ass here. Micro to Max Row. Yeah. Max Row. Fifth, name redacted, cheesy dick, vomit emoji. Oh, yuck. Have a shower.

Now, the next one possibly might be my favorite entry, definitely from this list, but maybe my favorite entry. From all the days we've done this. Word economy for the theatrics, what I'm about to read you. Shakespeare couldn't do better. Can we just, before you do it, understand what anthem is playing?

Is the backdrop. Fittingly, it's still the Canadian one. It goes on. Do you want a new one? No. Russian? Yeah. The Russian one's great.

No, I don't think we should. North Korea? Yes. Philippines? Yeah, Philippines. No, this is French. That will do. Yeah, French is great. Yeah The Russian one's great No I don't think we should North Korea Yes Philippines Yeah Philippines No this is French Ah that will do Yeah French is great

Yeah Familiar Name redacted Only counts as half body count Because he finished in three seconds Said catch ya And skateboarded home Catch ya Job done Cowabunga Catch ya

Job done Cowabunga Catch ya Cowabunga Remember Bam bam Catch ya And remember

Always hang loose Oh wow And skateboard at home Oh my god Oh he's probably done that To a lot of women too Amazing Oh god

Just listening to those Skateboard wheels Wheel off down the thing To be like How sad Could've skipped that one Yeah Next one Name Redacted did a Mexican dance In a t-shirt with no undies on Just listening to those skateboard wheels wheel off down the thing to me. How sad. Could have skipped that one. Next one, Name Redacted did a Mexican dance in a t-shirt with no undies on.

So he's got a little tip hanging out. A Mexican dance. Yeah, interesting. Okay. I don't know. The cha-cha or the samba? Next one, Name Redacted had one ball. Oh, wow.

Okay. Following that one, Name Redacted, nothing to write home about. And finally on the list, hubby love heart. Oh. Happy ending. Amazing. And he doesn't say. Happy ending. Catch ya.

Catch ya. Finish this in three seconds. Catch ya. Skateboard ride. Amazing. What a journey over a few days there. Thank you for. That's really been a lot of fun.

Yeah. Thank you to the people that shared their list with us. Yeah. It's a thing. It is a thing. So be aware of that. Put in a good effort. Exactly.

I think if you're out there shagging and maybe having some more casual hookups, put in some effort because do be knowing that we be running lists.