ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 29th December 2023

Episode Date: December 28, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; We've gathered your responses for our Naughty Lil Poll!Today's Q... Have you slept with someone you shouldn't have?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fletchborn and Hayley's Little Bitter Pod Enjoy a refreshing McCafe iced coffee available only from Macca's Great things are brewing The following naughty little poll may not be for younger ears Definitely not for younger ears I'm 42 and I felt like I was just a little bit too young for some of it Fletchborn and Hayley's Naughty

Naughty Naughty Naughty, naughty, naughty Naughty. Naughty. Naughty. Naughty. Naughty. Naughty. Naughty. Naughty. Naughty.

Naughty. Naughty little poles. Yes, it's a podcast only naughty little pole. And you know, we were given the option to re-record an intro, and we said, no need. No need, it'll sound better. That shan't be required. You know, we've got to do that every time.

Easy. We put a few little naughty polls out there, and I tell you what, some incredible responses. Yeah. We've been promised by producer Shannon, who said, has keeping them secret until just now when she will message them through to us. And our first naughty little poll. Have you slept with someone you shouldn't have?

Yes. I can answer yes. I can answer yes. Look, it depends who's asking. It depends what's the reason why you shouldn't Am I looking back being like Oh I shouldn't have done that No it's like sleeping with someone that has a partner

That's how I imagined it Or sleeping with someone way older Or like someone at work Like your boss No I have not I am a good boy What about that mum You sleep with that mum and you woke up in that kid's

Beyblade stadium. I was too drunk to get an erection So you hadn't slept with her No I never slept with her I couldn't get it up I did a vomit or two and then couldn't get an erection Oh god

That was a long time ago God yeah I've got some regerts Everybody has regerts couldn't get an erection. Oh, God. That was a long time ago. Mm, God. Yeah, I've got some regerts. Oh, everybody has regerts. Yeah. Oh, excuse me. That's a little burpy. It was a regroup.

A regroup. A regroup-itation. Why? Have you slept with someone you shouldn't? 55% of people have said yes, they have. 45% of people have said no, they have. Do you think it's because it's the forbidden fruit? Like, you shouldn't sleep with that married man or that married woman?

Yeah, I think so. Or like sleeping with your best friend's ex. You know, like that's kind of a no-go. Yeah. But then you always just knew he probably had a nice dick, so you were like, I've got to go there. My bestie liked his dick. Beautiful dick.

My bestie did nothing but tell me about this dick. For a moment there, I thought we were actually audio doing Silly Little Pole, but we're not. We're doing podcast only. So we can talk about how much we love that dick. So some messages in. Anonymously. Yeah. I should not have slept with my very close family friend's son.

Oh, you're almost like siblings. Yeah. That's probably it, eh? When you grow up with like siblings. Yeah. That's probably it, eh? When you grow up with families together. Yeah. I can see why, like, if you were both the same age, curiosity gets the better of you. Hormones are racing. They're there.

They're familiar. They're probably a safe person. Yeah. So, you know what? I resolve you of your regrets. Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. I mean, go on. He can do that.

He's Catholic. I don't know if you can. I'm going to be resolving people of their sins. Okay. Absolving. Do you have any of those wafer biscuits? Not on me. Do you have any red wine? Yes.

This church sucks. You are the worst church ever. This sucks. Really? Because I can name a worse church. The Catholic Church. Fair point. With a 21-year-old from work, I'm 33 and a manager.

Not his direct report though However his mother Works with men As a close friend She doesn't know Oh my god Nor does anyone else Absolve you

Of your sins By the Son of the Holy Spirit Go forth and Fucketh Who thou liketh How awkward Would that be though You're waiting for the work microwave

At lunchtime And he's there Yeah and he's there. Yeah, and mum's there. And mum's there, and everyone just wants a microwave tuna salad. I was going to say, he takes his porridge out, and it's spilled, and his mother's like, for God's sake, who do people think I'm raising around here? You can't even clean up after yourself.

Yeah, I know. And he's like, shame. And he's like, I've cleaned up a couple of things. I've cleaned up a couple of my spewed porridge bowls, am I right? I'm a nanny And slept with the baby's dad While the baby was sleeping No word

No word if the mum is still on the scene The dad might be solo dating Or at some stage after But also like that's how they start Like I've got my hands stuck in the dryer I'm the babysitter I was just about to put the kids to bed But I thought I'm the babysitter What were you doing In the dryer I was just about to Put the kids to bed

But I thought I'd do Some laundry The nanny slept With the baby's dad While the baby was sleeping I love that That's hot I absolve you of your sins

Father son It's so stereotypical though It is It's a classic Like if I If I was the wife And my husband We were real rich

And we needed a nanny I'd only hire Fuggos You couldn't do a fuggos Never Like the dance. I've found us a babysitter. She's fucking hot.

It's Heidi from Sweden. And she's wearing her lada hosan. I'm so happy you chose me. I'm so bouncy. Daddy, can I call you daddy too? I didn't have a daddy. I want you to be my daddy. Okay, carry on.

No. Sleep with my good friend's auntie. Jesus. My good friend's auntie. I beg your fucking pardon? I sleep with my good friend's auntie after she paid me to play guitar at her party. I'm 28. I think it was her 60th.

Oh, yes. Wow. Coming out to bat as the guitarist, and he's cracked a 60. Good for you. Straight over the boundary. She must have been a good-looking 60, though, eh? Yeah. Also, these are completely anonymous, and Shannon has gathered these,

trimmed off the people's names, but I can see a tiny little round profile picture. Oh, does he look hot? Like a tiny little round. Does he look hot? Yeah, he's a good looking dude. Tiny little round profile picture. When you hear these stories, I want to see the profile. I want to go through and be like, look at this.

And this is why Shannon has trimmed. And they're leaving some clean lifestyle. Like, oh, I love walking. I love my puppy. It's like, you are a freak hey there's no i absolve you of your sense fun side this is a judgment free zone as well we're not yucking anyone's yum about five years ago i was the other woman for three to four months with a guy in a very long-term relationship she never found out he's now engaged to the same girl

wedding is all planned for the summer and he's recently approached me to start it back up again. And I must say, I'm tempted. But see, why is he going through with the other relationship? Well, they've got other things. There's many reasons, I guess. People are fucking cooked. Also, monogamy is a weird thing. I do this every now and then

and I should get a tattoo on my arm that said, people will always let you down And they're fucking cooked Because I just look at it And be like that's right People are fucking cooked Yeah But that's the thing I feel like the gays

Have got monogamy sorted Maybe As in that doesn't exist Yeah So many gay people Are in open Happy relationships I mentioned it before

I read a book About From Estee Perel Famous couples counsellor And it's called Mating in captivity I mentioned it before I read a book about from Estee Perel famous couples counsellor and it's called Mating in Captivity about the whole idea

of being with one person and mating with them and only them for the rest of your life yep the book's basically like it's cooked yeah

the concept is cooked because people are cooked and we've got to get out and get some more cooked but is she is she an advocate for open relationships?

Or is she just like, let people play. Yeah, and why people cheat and, you know. So she's like, get a pass card, basically. Yeah, she was like, well, just have the conversation. If you feel the need to do it. Yeah. That monogamy's not for you. The next

I don't know if I absolved the last person of their sins Anyway Multiple men who were married Not my proudest moments But some of the best sex I've ever had Upside down smiley face Oh I thought you were about to say an upside down position Yeah upside down reverse cowgirl

Well she might be That upside down smiley face might be indicating She's face down in it You don't want to be upside down I don't think One of the blood rushes to you Yeah get a head act Get a head rush absolved of your sins

you're all right you're all right uh next don't make that noise you're in this topic 100 my boss's son at my boss's house while he was away and then again at my mom's place his mom's place oh my god i love that that's funny it's hot it's naughty it's a power play anyone slept with their professor? That was a real fantasy of mine. But I didn't have any hot professors at drama school. Right, yeah. Do you know what I mean?

Like the professor and you're going in like, sorry, my paper's late. I know someone who slept with a university lecturer. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's hot. Yeah, well. A few years ago. Oh, my. Oh, my God.

Is this just? God. A few years ago, I my God, is this Jess? A few years ago, I slept with my best friend's dad. She doesn't know. We were both single at the time, but still, it was a cooked move by me. She initiated. Oh my God. Oh my God. Your friend would never forgive you.

Never forgive you. Oh my God. Is the dad still with the mum? No, no, no. They were both single. She said they were both single at the time, but it was a cooked move by me. Wow. I want to know how long they've been best friends. Because I've been best friends with my bestie since we were three.

That would be cooked if she slept with my dad because he, you know, had a hand in raising her, for God's sake. But if they're like new friends. If you met like in your 20s yeah yeah yeah and then you're like oh you're kind of a hot dad you're the hot dad buddy what we've got on our hands here is a hot dad yeah that's scandalous uh yes one of my landscaping clients okay that's kind of hot because that's like the sleeping with the pool boys yeah yeah one of my landscaping clients she was 20 years older than me,

and I knew her husband really well, and they were starting to be on the rocks and moving towards divorce. I was swooping in. I swooped in. Like a seagull seeing a chip. Yeah. Ah! It was moving towards divorce.

She told me that six years later they're still together. Oh, no. She just wanted to get hers. She wanted to get her bloody lawn reseeded. Yeah. She wanted to get her bloody lawn reseeded. Yeah. She wanted to get her bloody bark garden plowed. See, there were ten attachments. Is that all of them?

It was all for a visit. That's all of them. I feel like that's all of them. Juicy. That was juicy. I love that. That was juicy. What's our next one, Shannon?

What's our next one for our naughty little poll? Have you ever kept a secret from your partner? A big secret. It's getting juicy. Love that. Stay tuned, listener.