ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod -29th Jan 2026

Episode Date: January 28, 2026

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Fletch got in trouble at the airport!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the Zedium podcast network, it's Fletchhorn and Haley's Little Bit of Pod. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. Something happened over the summer break, and I remembered about it when I was unpacking my suity case this week from our trip to Christchurch when I put my toiletries bag away. Yeah. Because do you guys have a toiletries bag that's just for travel because we travel so much? No, I put in what I'm using at the time and I refresh it each trip. Oh, I have a separate toothbrush.

No. I'm like a TV reporter with a... go bag. Yeah, I've got a bit of a go bag going on. An expecting father. Yes, with the go bag ready to go for the birth. I didn't know this, but yeah, the TV reporters will have like, or like, I guess anyone that has to quickly drop and just leave and, I don't know, go away from work, they have a go

bag. Yeah. Like a change of clothes, a toiletries bag. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, on the holiday, there was a box of condoms. Good boy. Dingers.

Dingers. He doesn't want to be put in his bloody children around the world. You know? Right. Gosh. Yeah. Do you want some of mine, by the way, because I got a whole... You're just going raw dog now, are you?

No, I'm practicing very safe sex than you. Are you just announcing that you're now trying to have a family? This is how you're announcing it. No, I'm not. I just have way too many. Because my doctor was just like, have a bunch. You need to get them on prescription. Yes.

And I just have so many. Because I didn't know that you could get them on prescription. Oh, God, yeah. Never pay for them. Way cheaper than supermarket. Well, I just pay for them. paid for a box. They don't give you the tingly menthol ones that you like.

He loves the... He loves the... He loves the flavour. He loves a banana flavoured no. I feel like they don't do flavoured ones anymore. What the... Anyway, so I have this box and I was emptying out the box to put them into my toiletries bag. This was when I was on holiday. And inside there was like, I don't know, a bit of paper and there was like a thing of lobe. And so I chucked that out. And then I

grab out this... He likes it dry, our boy. Yeah, yeah. I grab out this thing. And inside is like a paper ruler for like measuring and seeing and seeing what size dinger you should have on your ding dong. Oh my God. Like you know when like a, I don't know if you've had a ring sizer and it's, and you can put it on and sort of go, oh, you're a size air for whatever. It wasn't like a thing with holes.

It was like a like a ruler with inches and then you would use it and then it would say. We're finally going to learn how big it is. No. But I want centimetres. because it makes it sound bigger. I might have had both. I don't know. Metric and Imperial cock measure.

I had just left it there. And as a joke, I decided that I would use it. And I would be like, oh, yeah, okay, cool. I've always wondered, like, you know, what do you call it as circumference? Cucumference. Anyway. Oh, so you're measuring around the dick. Yeah, because then it tells you what condom you should be using.

Right. So it might say to you, oh, you need extra small, extra large. But is it like a pair of Levi jeans, like you do the length and the length. Flair out. Yeah, some of them have a boot. Some have a boot cut. Right. But that's the thing.

It's like, yeah. Anyway, that aside, when I pull. Or how fats you do. I'm not going to say. Come on. You've got a number. You've measured it. When I did this and I was like, oh yeah.

And I pulled away the paper tape measure and gave myself a paper cut. Oh. They shouldn't have made it of a paper. I know. It was like the tiniest of paper cuts. It was just every now and again for the next day. Like, oh, I did that to myself. A stinging of sorts.

Just a little, yeah, but like it was quite funny. Oh, that is funny. How fat you do. How fast you get. Also, I think I think people would be surprised measuring the circumference. It's always a bigger number than you think. I know it is, right?

It's like when you do your neck measurement for a shirt. I'm like, that's a fat, you're like, that's a fat neck. Yeah, I've got a really fat neck.

Like a great example of it is if you put your thumb and your pointer finger, your index finger together and you look and you're like, oh, that's not that big. And then stretch it out wide. That's big.

That's big, but it's the same distance. Yeah. But it looks small. It's wild. So how fits you do? How fat you do? We're not going to say.

What size? We're not talking. I'm just, I knew. What did it tell you? I knew. What did it advise you to purchase? I do you know I had doubts about bringing up this story for a little bit of pod.

On a scale of pencil dick to mandingo, where do you sit? How fat's your dick? Vaughn, that was a natural out. I know, but we don't have a answer. Do you know what? I don't actually care that he ruined the natural out because we don't have our answer. That's it. Well, you'll never know.

We don't have our answer. But I would just, I see. That was a max. That was the natural out. I was just a public service announcement. Be very careful if you are using the paper tape measure. Wow.