ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 2nd October 2023

Episode Date: October 1, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Fletch got to call 111! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fletchborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. Guys, I got to call 111. What? Oh my god, I've never called 111. Haven't you?

Never. No. Oh yeah, I have once. I called Star 555 once, driving through, what's the gorge out of Queenstown? Gibson Valley, around there. What is that? That's with an A. Does that?

No. No, isn't it just Gibson Valley? Gibson Valley. Yeah, and there was a gigantic pig on the road. Like a boar. Like a boar, yeah. And so I rang Star 555 And they said Hey there's a pig And then I was

Hey there's a pig on the road That's such Oh my god That is such a good Impersonation of yourself Yeah Hey there's a pig There's a big pig on the road

And I think I've Rung it once before When someone was fighting Like having a big scrap Yeah yeah We um Had to rent a place When we were renovating once

We had to rent a place In a A West Auckland neighbourhood that was how do I put this nicely fucking gross fucking york but there were fights

in the street and I'd be like fuck this and then like I saw a I was out the window and Sade's like don't let them see you

I was like they can't see me I'm peaking I'm peaking and plus they're trying to kill each other and I saw like a like a reflection and I was like it's a knife straight on the phone to other and i saw like a ghoul like a reflection

and i was like it's a knife straight on the place i was like well hello there's a fight going on outside i think i saw a knife that they were there so quick so quick well so i woke up on and it's you know i've spoken about the graffiti on our building because they're right underneath your window the neighbors have scaffolding because they're obviously going to do painting or repairs or something and so that leaves like access to a roof between my building and so we've already had some uh like quite a bit of tagging like they go up like two or three stories get on the roof and like god knows how no one has fall no um and then so i wake up on saturday morning and it's like or sunday morning and it's um 10 to 6 and i'm wide awake thanks body of course you think thanks this job

and these hours yeah but keep us and so i'm scrolling the cat's like i want food and then i hear this dog dot like of like heavy walking on scaffolding and i was like all right motherfuckers it's on i got you now i'm awake on a sunday i got you now. I'm awake. I hear you. And then so I like pull my curtains and then I've got a blind and I like peek out of it. Are you nude? Yes. Oh. Nude. He's nude.

Nude. I'm nude and I'm peeking out my blinds and I see these two guys standing on like what would be the fifth floor scaffolding. Holy. Just having a yarn. Oh my God. Yeah. And I'm like, fuck, they're not, they're not tagging and they didn't have backpacks or big jackets. There's. Yeah, and I'm like, fuck, they're not tagging.

And they didn't have backpacks or big jackets. There's no spray paint. I was like, fuck. So they're just, like, probably drunk heading home from town. Let's climb the school. Let's climb the school. Yeah, and then they climb a little bit higher, and I was like, okay, I'm calling the cops. And so I call the cops and talk to this lovely lady.

Cock out still? What's that? Cock out still? Did you put on some pants to call 911? Still nude at this stage. Still nude at this stage. So I just cock out all the time. I'm nude cock out calling 911.

Cock out on the phone. Cock out for 911. Don't get your cock out for 911. 111 actually. You'll get tased. And so I'm like, I say, oh, hey, look, there's two people on some scaffolding. And yeah, and she's like, oh, that's no good.

And I'm like, no, it's not. And so she's like, what do they look like? I'm like, I can't really see them, they're dark clothing. And then they kind of go around the side of the building. And I'm like, oh, hey, I don't think they've gone down, but I can't see them anymore. She's like, well, I'll put it down. If anything changes, give us a call back.

So I'm like, all right, I'm going to put my pants on and so i find so i don't want to turn my turn my light on because they would have seen my life so i'm like finding some knickers yeah get my sweatpants on uh chucked a hoodie on and put my airpods and i went out i went downstairs and then i could see them oh my god he's taking the matter into his own hands he's put on a hoodie i was like yeah i was like these motherfuckers are not getting away and so i walked down and then i looked up and i hope they listen i hope they listen to the podcast and good morning to our motherfucker listeners good morning they are at this stage on the top roof of that building of the neighbors and disappeared and onto the roof and i'm just like what the fuck and then that's when i see the cops come i ring the lady back and she's like

some guy was like fire fire, police, ambulance. I'm like, fire, police. And then the lady comes on again. I'm like, oh, did I just speak to you? She's like, yes, the guy's on the scaffold. I was like, it's me, but I wear clothes on. It's me, I'm back. It's me.

But I'm cocked away now. Oh my God, she did not know I was naked. That's quite horrifying for her. Well, she might listen. But anyway, I said, it's me again. I've just come downstairs because I'm so nosy. And they've actually gone onto the roof. And that's when the police drove up.

She said, I can see the cars in the area. And then these police got out of their car. You did this? You did this? They turned on their flashing lights. And because of all the buildings and trees around, just the whole thing echoed blue and red lights. Reflected.

Reflected. And then they get out these cute little torches that were real little, but so powerful. I want one of those. Oh, my God. Yeah. It would have been not even a hand, like the size of his hand. And he just went click. They both went click.

And fuck, the whole thing just lit up. I know a cop. I'll ask him, where do you get the cop torches? Where does he get his cop torch? Because was it still dark at this point? Yeah, because it was quite dark and a bit drizzly. And then so you couldn't see them because they'd gone onto the roof. And I said, oh, they're up there.

They've just gone onto the roof. And you just kind of see them look at each other like, oh, fuck, we've got to climb up this scaffolding. And then they just boom, straight away, straight up there. And then one of them comes down, or one of them kind of peeks their head open and starts to kind of climb down. And the other one was still on the roof

and I'm like, well, I'm just going to leave now because I don't want them to see me and beat me up. What are you going to do when he gets down? Do they resist? I did hear, so one of them was obviously trying to come down and then the cop yells out to him, come down, you won't get in trouble. I was like, oh my God, that's what a mum says.

Yeah, you will. Yeah, you will. Tell me the truth and you won't be in trouble. Yeah, you will. Yeah. You're literally Tell me the truth and you won't be in trouble. Yeah, you will. Yeah. You're literally climbing on a building. So what did they do? Did you watch out the window?

Did they ush them away? No, so he was talking to one of them. Yeah. The last I saw. And then, I don't know, his friend was still coming down. The other cop was up there trying to get him down. And saying that the cop went up there. Yeah, I know.

They both did. They both did. I would have thought they would have been like, that's like getting into a high speed chase. And it's so lucky I took down my Gatling gun. Because you remember I said I'd rigged up a Gatling gun. Yeah, I know. They both did. I would have thought they would have been like, that's like getting into a high-speed chase. And it's so lucky I took down my Gatling gun, because you remember I said I'd rigged up a Gatling gun with the sensors. They would have been toast. Yeah, they would have been. If I'd left that up there.

What, the New Zealand police would have been? And then you'd be in prison. No, well, the taggers would have been. And they weren't tagging you, can't confirm. Well, I don't think they were. I don't know if they were or not. I think they were just drunk coming home from town. Has there been any more tagging? No. more uh tagging no no more tagging no more tagging okay because i think it's rude to tag

over someone else's tag you said a beef if you don't want to be you don't want a street war which is why i've crossed red lines for all the tags just to really start things up this is how quickly i've had a response yeah i said do the new zealand police have a standard issue torch oh yeah he said yeah yeah, they do. They're an LED lens that also mounts on the front of M4 rifles. Pass on my praise of the torch form because what a torch. Can we get one? I want one.

Jesus Christ. They're $153 at NZ Safety. Oh, good. Dwight's Outdoors Got them at 250 bucks Are they USB rechargeable? They must be Satisfyer Torches

This does look like a pretty fucking Oh my god When they both It lit it up I'm like I'm horny now I get a bit horny for torches. I get a lot of targeted advertising online for torches, and they'll be like, click, and it'll just boom.

And I was just like, you're not hiding from that torch. Oh, my God. It was so, yeah. The P7 Core is one of LED lenses' most iconic torches redesigned. Yeah, right. The non-rechargeable model of the new P7 family. No, I want a rechargeable. You'll have to take that back. Non-rechargeable? No, I want a rechargeable. You'll have to take that back.

Non-rechargeable? No, I want it rechargeable. Oh, batteries. Yeah. How embarrassing. I want it rechargeable and I want it to be. I tell you what, energizers still make a dolphin, though, if anybody's after an absolute classic torch.

Well, that'd be great because the police used to have those giant, like, I'd imagine they had like four double D. They did the bashing. Yeah, they'd bash you with them yeah like a baton as slash torch yeah yeah i want one of those same i want one when you're uh looking at something that also needs a bashing yeah wow look at this one look at this one this is a lead lens uh pr teen work rechargeable torch you imagine the fucking lumens Imagine the fucking lumens man Imagine the lumens It's right, you've got the lumens written here

Four and a half thousand lumens What's a normal light? Like 20 lumens See, when you're looking for Raleigh out the back You'd just be like Light lumens Lumens I want one, can we order it please?

This one's $550 I'm not paying, I'll get the police one That's only a couple hundred. $629, including GST. I had this as a... I had that as a... Get some horny torch chat. Yeah, horny torch chat.

I love a torch. Oh, yeah. God. Order now. Aid to cart, please.