ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 30th November 2023

Episode Date: November 29, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; It's Spotify Wrapped day!Have we mentioned how much we love iHeartRadio...?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fletchborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with MyMackersRewards. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod and happy Spotify Rap Day. We love it, don't we? As we alluded to in the big pod, it's not annoying when we talk about our Spotify Rap, but when anyone else posts, it's gotta get over yourself. Yeah, what do you think? You're so fucking interesting?

No, but you want to know what we're listening to. I will say from the bottom of my, and you know, I'm with my feelings and my emotions. It's very touching and lovely to see everybody tagging us in and sending us their podcast stats. It's like being someone's number one podcast and seeing how many hours Emma hundreds of hours thousands of hours that people are spending listening I don't think you're

going to beat Emma though that's lovely Emma Taylor Hawath how's it spelled Hawath Hawath oh there you go

Emma Taylor Hawath yeah she shared on our international podcast family Facebook group that she her Spotify rep said she listened to

81,864 minutes of the podcast and that put her in the top 0.1% of people who listen. Oh, my God. She's probably number one. That's got to be nearly number one. That's got to be number one. Wow, someone can outdo her.

Well, I want a link. Yeah, so this is what we wanted to talk about. We get a link for our podcast. As a podcast manufacturer. Yeah. We get a manufacturer's update. And I remember last year, did we we get a manufacturer's update and it's i remember last year did we just get a summary or something i think we've got a summer but it's pretty mind

blowing where people listen so we thought we haven't seen it we thought oh is this sound oh i don't know i'm you can plug it um we thought we'd share it and i guess just pause and we'll comment along the way okay here we go all right i'm plugging the link i'm plugging the link let's see what's happening here. It's thinking. It's thinking. It's purple. I'm not hearing any music. It says,

when our partners would like to personalize your experience. That's a cookie story. It is loading. It is at, it's stored at 28%. Wow, this is a real tease. Now it's going back up.

It's at 69%. Nice. Nice. Ah, 98, 99, 100. Here we go. I don't hear any music either. No, it's not. Get out of here, cookies.

There's no music. Is it muted somehow? Yeah, it's not. Get out of here, cookies. There's no music. Is it muted somehow? Yeah, it's plugged in. Our rap is here. Let's go. Okay? Let's do this. People really, really, really feel what you do.

Why is there no music? Is it because we're not an artist? No, I don't know. No, there's no music. I don't do it. It sucks ass, doesn't it? Do you know what that sucks? It sucks ass. It's in a bad way because, you know, obviously nothing against. No, we don't want. No, there's no music that sucks ass, doesn't it? Do you know what that sucks? It sucks ass.

In a bad way, because, you know, obviously nothing against... No, we don't want to yuck somebody's ass sucking. I think more people should be doing it. Should I play some music? Would we like some music? Yeah, maybe. Because it's a bit hollow. What if music comes on?

Overlap. We don't know. Okay, here we go. They're feeling what we're doing. Okay. Click. Ready? Let's take it from the top.

There's a lot of this faffing about, I will say. Yeah, there's a lot of faff in this Spotify rap. The graphics department at Spotify put in some effort, and they're making it so you can't skip anything. Filler. It's all filler. Speaking, our top episode was the 23rd of January, 2023. What happened on that episode?

Top episode, 23rd of January, 2023. No, that would have been the... Oh, that was our first episode back. Yeah, because we came... So what's happened there is we've started off with a hiss and a roar and then we've just really started strong. There's no one listening to this right now. I don't think so.

Jared, can you tell us what happened on the 23rd of... I'd say the break of the day yeah would be Hayley's marching injury or there was a why hecky sausage mystery oh that was the sausages

in the that's right in the mailboxes did they ever for those that forget or miss that there was

someone putting mysterious sausages in people's mailboxes did they ever no I don't think they ever solved that well no one missed it everyone was listening

well that was our top episode it was streamed 778% more than your average episode Jesus in people's mailboxes. No, I don't think they ever solved that. Well, no one missed it. Everyone was listening to it. Well, that was our top episode. It was streamed 778% more than your average episode. Jesus. What the f- Have we just let it all slip and slide since then? Do you think it would be people that have found the show this year from TikTok or something, and they're like,

well, I'll start at the start of the year? Maybe. Carwin's got an idea. What do you reckon it is? I think it's because they all at once went and listened to that at the same time because it was our first one back, whereas maybe you get behind a little bit. Do you know what I mean? Oh, yeah.

Fair call. We did have a podcast every day we were away as well. They were shorter versions. They weren't like the radio show. That's true. That's awful. What a peculiar mystery. We'll take it.

We'll take it. How awfully queer, Carwen. Next up. This was also awfully queer. How very queer. Let's queer. How awfully queer, Colwyn. Next up. This was awfully queer. How very queer. Let's hear it for the new fans. That's what it says. Okay.

Now, I don't know if I waited or I pushed the arrow down on this one. I thought we were hearing it for the boys. 40% or 47% of people that were listening discovered us in 2023. Yeah. Oh, wow. TikTok. TikTok. Well, because I do see people comment saying, you know,

that they've been listening since Girl Math or something. Yeah, I know. They're like, oh, my God, I wish I want to come to America. And we're like, stop, stop, stop. No paparazzi. Fletch, Warren, Hayley's little bit of pod Girl Math really brought them in. 3% of your new listeners started right there. Wow.

From a little bit of pod on Girl Math. Wow. Was that popular? Was it Girl Math? It was apparently quite popular. Did it do well this year? Yeah. Far out.

And then it says, how does it feel to have gone global? We are going to need, because I feel like this is becoming a little bit bragalicious, so we're going to need to start being mean to each other. Okay. Despite you being such an ugly fat cuck. Yeah. Yeah. Yes.

People are still listening to us. Yes. Oh my God, that's you. Why? This show is so fucking boring. Can you not be that mean to me? Okay, sorry. I don't know if I can handle that today.

Okay. Yeah. You can't have had to be called an ugly fat cunt. I could have had one of those. I know. Sorry, boy. You just put all three on me. I feel like I've hogged the insults.

I eyeballed them too. I eyeballed them. You really did. Yeah. Streamed in 72 countries. I eyeballed them. You really did. Yeah. Streamed in 72 countries. Wow. New Zealand was our top country. 83% of streams come from New Zealand.

Are there any other countries? Like some far-flung, does it list all of them? Got any good postcards this year? You've got the most you list is from the United States, the United Kingdom, Australia, Canada, and Ireland. Despite our ongoing war with the Irishman. Despite our complaint. Carl wouldn't say do not mention it. Canada and Ireland despite our ongoing war with the Irishman. Despite our complaint.

Carl wouldn't say do not mention that. Can we not can we mention that? What happened to that complaint? Please respond. I'd like to have a rest for the last couple weeks of the show.

Can we just not? I want to start a hellfire for you to put out. Okay let's just say we offended some Irish listeners. Next. I've clicked it down again. Your listeners obviously have good taste,

obviously, so what else are they into? Butt stuff. Butt stuff. Your listeners' top podcast genres were one, comedy, two, society and culture, which I didn't even know was a podcast genre. And three, true crime.

Yes, we love the base of merchants. Those are the ones. Society and culture. Interesting. Okay. Your listeners' top musical genres were? One, pop. Two, rock.

Three, rap. Rap. Okay. Rap. You're right. Wow. For shizzle. And rap for shizzle.

Yeah, you're really connecting with those. And hello to our rap Wow. For shizzle. And rap for shizzle. Yeah, you're really connecting with those. And hello, rap listeners. For shizzle. For shizzle, yeah. It's great to be here, shizzles. Your listeners definitely told their friends about you. Your podcast was shared all over. 37% of, this is amazing insight.

37% was direct links. So someone would be like, check out this podcast. 27% of people sharing on Facebook. 15% sharing on WhatsApp. 14% of people sharing on Facebook, 15% sharing on WhatsApp, 14% of people text somebody about our show. Oh my gosh. And 7% other. I don't know what concept.

Probably male. Probably pigeon male. Postcards. Yeah. Old school. The most shared episode was Fletch, Ron and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod, Girl Math.

Wow. That was the most shared episode of the podcast on Spotify. That went crazy on the socials as well that was my idea wasn't it the podcast oh here we go

this will take us down I thought it was the women of the show I'm pretty sure it was Vaughn and I came up with it and then you you both ran with it

that's how Shannon do you remember it like that Carwin is that how you remember Girl Math starting yeah Vaughn wanted to get a balayage

and we were trying to figure out how to justify it yeah how to justify Carwin you laughed too quickly and loud at the idea of Vaughn with the balayage and we were trying to figure out how to justify it. Yeah, how to justify my balayage. When you're a cow and you laugh too quickly and loud at the idea of born with a balayage.

It's quite rude. Yeah, especially after that fat cock comment. Yeah, like he's not feeling fat cock. I think he was. Sorry, ugly. This will take us

down to earth though. The podcast rating out of five is only 4.9. What the fuck? It's because you spewed in the back. What the fuck? Is it because I spewed during that podcast?

Yeah, you spewed in the back of the podcast. My rating got taken down. Less than perfect rating. This year, listeners did more than just listen. They got talking. What does that mean? You created 12 Q&As, which received 20 responses. That doesn't seem like enough.

We're not responding to enough Q&As. There was a Q&A. What does that mean? Can they do a Q&A on the profile of our Spotify? Maybe they can, but I don't think we did that. Oh, okay. Who's answering on our behalf? I'm just going now to our podcast.

Who dares speak on my behalf? Received 20 responses. Because I have heard podcasts say, oh Oh and you can put a thing in the Box Would it be under a belt? No there's nothing there More like no episodes Okay which episode got the most engagement

It says was it the 9th of March, the 4th of August Or the 14th of March What's happening in March I think August Because I think that's when 4th of August or the 14th of March. What's happening in March? What's happening on those ones? I think August. Because I think that's when... Girl math. Girl math and all that was... I'm just rating the show.

I'm giving it four because... Don't give it four. You're going to fucking bring the thing down. I feel you're low energy. Both of you are low energy today. So I'm going four. I'm not low energy. I won't leave you.

That's my high energy. You hit the charts in one country and peaked at number four. In one country? New Zealand. That must be New Zealand. Yeah. Number four. How embarrassing.

Sorry, this is just feeling a bit braggalicious again. Could you just bring Vaughn down to earth again? Absolutely. What is this big fat cock? Wow. Now it's actually just feeling mean. Maybe you should go me. Because he went at me again. Yeah, maybe just go me. But she dropped the ugly. I think it was just feeling mean. Maybe you should go me. Because he went at me again.

Yeah, maybe just go me. But she dropped the ugly. I think it was just fat cuck that time. I said big fat cuck. Big fat cuck. Okay. You're a dirty dog. And you're a weasel dirty dog.

A weasel dirty dog. That's a compliment. You stupid weasel, little weasel dirty dog. Okay, that's not too bad. Do me, do me, do me, do me. I don't want to. Do it, do it. I can take it.

I can take it. I'm one of the boys. I was one of those girls who's just like super like down to earth and like one of the boys. You know, I'm not even a big fat cuck. What are you, a pussy? No, yep. Wait, are you mad at us or angry? Or happy?

I can't tell. How can you not tell? How can you not tell? I don't know. I'm frowning. Your head's not moving. I just can't tell. I'm frowning. You can't tell. How can you not tell? I don't know. I'm frowning. I'm frowning? You can't tell. Your podcast charted for a total

of 43 weeks. That puts you in the top 1% of charted podcasters. Wow. The top 1%. Shit. That's nice for a big fat ugly car. Until they come to eat the 1%. Well, not the podcast 1%. That's what they say. Eat the 1%. Oh, Jesus. 1%. Yeah, that's what they say. Eat the 1%ers.

Oh, Jesus. I'm pretty sure that's what they say. Okay. Also, that means nothing because there's hundreds of thousands of podcasts where people are

talking to themselves. Are you a gardener? If you were going to eat the 1%, you'd eat Vaughan first because he's such a big fan. You'd have to slow roast me, though.

You'd have to slow cook me. Are you a gardener? You've got to render. You'd have to render him down. Oh, Jesus Christ. Well, I won't be here tomorrow. You're going to have to explain this to my kids. Just do me. Just do me and it'll stop.

I'm not. I don't know how. I don't know how. I lightly touched on you. I lightly did you. You didn't at all. Because you're the gardener. Grow up because the podcast saw 17% growth in listeners. Oh, lovely. 43% growth in streams.

47% growth in followers. And 7% increase in minutes of content created. That just means we've been going on a bit much. 47% probably the woman, eh, Lippy? Yeah. 47% growth in followers. It's amazing. Thank you to our new listeners

For a great year Welcome Welcome to the whanau Welcome Get these numbers In front of management They love when someone says plus But the problem is

It's gotta be plus again next year Oh my god They won't accept a plateau All they want is more How much money is this Spotify bringing in All they want is more fucking pluses More pluses Things are allowed to go down

Yeah Why don't they look at the negatives Can't forget And equate those A shout out to your biggest fans. Oh, here we go. Here we go. You're a top 10 podcast for 14,180 people. That's nice.

That's pretty nice. That's good. That feels good. You're a top five podcast for 11,621 people. Cute. That's really nice. Drum roll, please. What's it going to tell me now?

That's not a drum roll. That's just banging on a drum. I'm just adding to the noise. He's the bass drum. You're the number one podcast for 6,095 people. Thank you so much. It's just so incredible, these stats. Your top fans listen to you over 10 times more than your other listeners.

Stop it. I could recommend a whole bunch of other podcasts you could listen to. How many percent are returning listeners? I've got some great podcasts that I love listening to. The pluses will become minuses. Yeah, but you're always working minuses. Yeah, shush.

You'll be first cab off the rank because you- Don't fucking say that. You're on audio calling me a big fat ugly cuck. Is that our Spotify rap 74% are returning listeners that just keeps

going more information coming 57% listen to most of your episodes oh ouch oh that one hurts that's back down

to that hurts more than being called a big fat ugly cuck mostly in an episode Hayley's quite heavy at the end of an episode people tune out it's a bit much.

It's a lot. Are you negging me? Because my nipples are hard. Yeah, you know she loves to be negged. This is why I didn't want to neg her when she called me a big fat ugly cat, because I know it's her turn on. You don't want to be all turned on in the workplace. It's impossible to not turn her on because she loves compliments, but she also loves

being negged. I know. I just love being talked at. This is why you just don't give her anything. That's about the most insulting You can be to her They try to ignore me That hurts Being ignored

Being ignored really hurts Yeah Oh this is great What a fantastic Little sum up Thanks everybody We should say thank you To everybody that

Downloads the podcast Listens Yeah And to our new listeners As well We really appreciate it We created 17 and a half Thousand minutes of content

God How much of that is good? Are we content creators? Oh my God, are we content creators? Yeah, change that on your Instagram profile. Content creator. Storyteller. Storyteller! I love it when actors do that. Storyteller.

Storyteller. I like to bring stories in front of people. Yeah. No you don't. You like money and fame. Yeah, do it. Yeah. Get that SAG-AFA money, money and fame. Yeah, do it. Yeah. Get that SAG-AFRBA money, money, money. Well, from these fat cucks to you. Thank you sincerely from the bottom of our fat cuck hearts.