ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 31st May 2024

Episode Date: May 30, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Producer Shannon had a break in...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. To the producer's booth without delay. We shan't delay. Quickly, quickly. There's been a breaking and entering.

Go swiftly. Yes, there has been. Shannon, turn your mic on, hon. I said without delay. I said without delay. We said without delay. We said without delay. We delayed. No, and that mic's not on.

You're talking into another mic. Am I this way? She's not in her usual seat. I'll tell you what. I'm by myself in here. And she's adapting. She's overcoming. Producer Jared's got the COVID.

He's got the vid. He's got the vid. We're a man down. We definitely didn't all hang out with him on the weekend. Well yes, I had a break in. Very terrifying. So because you mentioned that you are living in an area where there are pigeon houses and we talked previously

about the fact that some houses are duck houses, some houses are pigeon houses and some are lucky to be neither. Yes. And you have been feeding these pigeons. No, I just like the noise they make, so I hang out near them. They go on my balcony,

because I'm in an apartment, I'm eight floors up, and they come hang out, and I think they're cute. Fuck, I hate pigeons. No. No. They're the worst.

They hang out on the building next to mine, and sometimes I hear them cuckooing. You cuckoo? I hate pigeons. No. No. They're the worst. They hang out on the building next to mine and sometimes I hear them coo-cooing. You can't hear them. I hear them. Hey, pigeons are back coo-cooing. Well, I loved them until yesterday. What happened? So I was in bed in my room down the other end from the balcony and I hear a loud crash and I was like, Robber, a man has climbed up eight floors onto my balcony and he's in

my house. Of course. That's the only reasonable explanation. Yeah, so my final flight was like, I would rather be robbed than meet a robber, so I just stayed put. I was like, I'm not going to confront this robber.

You live on the 8th, there's literally no way somebody could climb up to your apartment. He could. Tell that to fucking Spider-Man. Yeah, exactly. So I'm there, petrified, and I was like, it'll pass. If he's robbing, there's not much here. Off he goes. If you be doing the robbing, he'll be all right.

So I hear another crash. I stay put. Three crashes in. I'm like, I better go investigate. I am the woman of the house. My boyfriend was out. So I go in and a pigeon's in my sink. Oh, yeah.

And I. They are the rats of the sky i know i scream it freaks out like it was equally as scared to see me as i was to see it so i grabbed a pillow that was on the couch and i threw it at it yeah and it broke a glass oh my god by the pigeon the pigeon is terrified and then i start to feel a bit guilty because i like them like i i let him cuckoo and then now now i'm throwing glass at him essentially yeah so i'm freaking out and then he's freaking out i throw another pillow at him trying to be like go back that's what we do we throw pillows yeah when we panic but you know our blinds are kind of like when you go to a cheap bakery and they're

like flaps oh yeah you've got flaps I got flaps we had a house with flaps I don't like those blinds

of all the blinds go horizontal not vertical long flappy blinds and there's no chains at the bottom no very little holds

them together at the bottom sometimes one of those cords with plastic orbs on it. Yes, yes. Well, it really confused my poor pigeon because he was trying to leave,

but the flaps were keeping him in. So he's trying to get out. He's flapping the flaps. Well, you've got to open the flaps. Open the flaps. Well, I didn't want to get near him. You have to open the flaps. I was being robbed.

Like, I felt like I was at gunpoint by this pigeon. We were both like, I was like, go, go. It's a fucking pigeon. Yeah, but it was just such a stressful time. So I went to get my phone to call my partner. I don't know what he was going to do, but I was like, fix this. Like, magic it away. I don't know.

He's a magician. Yeah, just sort it out. And then eventually the pigeon just walked out through the flaps. I shut the door and I haven't opened it since. See yourself out, mate. Yeah. I hate having birds inside, but I've never had a pigeon inside. I know.

City life, that's city life, isn't it? You might get a thrush or a... That's the first thing I said to Brendan when he got home. Not on your flaps. Not on your flaps. You don't want a thrush caught on your flaps. I have a fantail. You've got a fantail? I'll have a fantail on my flaps. Oh, yeah, I'll get a fantail flapping in your flaps. I have a fantail. You've got a fantail?

I'll have a fantail on my flaps. Oh, yeah, I'll get a fantail flapping about my flaps. Yeah, because they can get through them. Not a thrush. Not a thrush, too big. Not a blackbird. I'll take a kingfisher. Yeah?

You know what I mean? The old kotare? Yeah. Yeah, it's a beautiful bird. Yeah, wow. Okay, so shut your door. Yeah, I'm not going to leave it open anymore. Don't encourage them.

Now, if a keteroo came in, that'd be pretty sick. That'd be pretty sick. I'd have a margarita. I'd have a margarita with him. That's a mega pigeon! But he would be more chill. The pigeon was scared but I think because I threw glass at him essentially. I think if you threw glass at a kereru it would be pretty unchill as well.

And now you've got that big problem where I'm imagining you've got a set of glasses that don't have a matching glass now because you've broken one. Oh you've got a five or a three now. You've got a five or a three set, haven't you? Well, no, when I moved in, it was furnished, and so it was a goblet. There was one goblet with the apartment. Your apartment came with glasses?

It was furnished, yeah. No, but furnished usually means furniture, not like small goods. No, it had everything, plates, cups, knives. Well, you're down on your bond now, aren't you? Because you checked a pillow at a pigeon. Yeah, there you go. That's on you.