ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 3rd October 2023

Episode Date: October 2, 2023

On Today's (highly censored) Lil Bitta Pod; Hayley received a "gift" from a mysterious stranger!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fletchborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. This is one of those warnings. That's when we finish the podcast you're about to hear. Which went a little off the rails and we come back and we put a warning on now. I say the P word a couple of times.

That has to be fully, I want that fully beeped out. You don't have to bleep out that. Yes, absolutely. It's disgusting. He might have his membership revoked. But there'll be other things. This is a warning that it's sexual of nature, but also we're going to bleep a lot.

Yes, yes. Because Vaughn says something so gross. Oh my God, he finally found... He's upset me. I've known him for years and never upset her. Never pushed her. Never pushed her. But I found it.

I found her kryptonite. And the sentence, Jared, I want to bleep from when I say... She's... She's right to the end of it. Hard, heavy, one monotonous bleep time. I i say the cheese cheese right to the end of it yeah hard heavy one monotonous bleep tone i don't want anyone i don't want people to know how many words i said i don't want people to know what words were said anyway enjoy that ah enjoy the podcast welcome to a little bit of pod now we started the show today and this has been a source of uh contention or mystery i

should say uh there was a gift waiting for you on your desk on your side of the desk it says from your secret admirer x in a handwriting i don't know and it's an egg or bigger than akin to surprise bigger than an actual hen's egg yeah a, a little bit of a duck egg. But it is plastic and it opens up. It opens. And then inside, sorry, inside is like a silicon, wibbly wobbly. Looks like a pineapple. Looks like a pineapple. And then there's a hole in the bottom.

So I was like, is this a sex thing? Or is it a, because I talked about getting my period, I was like, is it a moon cup? No, there's no way that it a moon cup no there's no way that's a moon cup no and why would you have such a shallow yeah opening you know the uterus doesn't work in that way it's so soft the plastic thing in the box and then the plastic tube in the bottom and the bottom comes out and it's what is it's got a sachet of lube well we can only assume is lubricant.

Or two-minute noodle flavoring. No, it smells like just watery. I arrive at work a little bit late, and Hayley's like, do you know anything about this? And tosses me the egg, and I open it. And almost like I've had one in the past, although I haven't, I open it up, and I'm like, that is a pocket ****. What's a pocket ****?

It's a tiny pocket p***. I'm not saying that word again. Flip it inside out. I apologise, dear listener. This isn't appropriate. No. This goes over the head of the penis. Yeah, right. And then you put some lube in there and away you go.

You go to town on it. Now, I knew that the minute I stuck my finger in it. So you put your little diddle, but it's so shallow. It's just the head of the penis. It's a little diddle. But it's an your little diddle, but it's so shallow. It's just at the head of the penis. Don't say little diddle. But it's an escalating. You've got to work the base. It's just, apparently not.

All tip. I've been doing it wrong. I'm straight up, I'm going to admit it. I've been doing it wrong. This is an all tip. We are going to need to go back and do another warning. Oh yeah. We'll do a warning about tons of stinging.

Well if we're going that way, because that's my problem With not having a foreskin What do you do? Yeah A lot of moisturiser and lube Yeah What do you mean If you don't have a foreskin? If you don't have a foreskin

This is made for people With no foreskins Yeah it is It's basically a hood isn't it? Well it is a foreskin Yeah Yeah I mean I wouldn't

I wouldn't leave it on And walk around for the day To see what it's like To have a foreskin Really wild like that So who gave you this? This is a wild thing. No idea.

From your secret admirer? It's very pervy. So the options are? Morgan the sexologist? Morgan sexologist. Was she in? I'll just ring her right now. Shall I ring her?

Yeah, and I'll message Laura Daniel, who apparently was also in. That doesn't look like Morgan's handwriting. That's the handwriting of someone with a little bit of a chaotic energy, which I feel is more of a Laura Daniels energy. Right. Okay, just calling Morgan the sexologist. Good evening, my friend. Hello.

Hey, you're live on the podcast. It's Fletch, Fawn, and Hayley. Hey, Morgan. Oh, my gosh. Question. Did you leave a tiny pocket For Hayley and an egg? I've been left a secret gift No, it didn't

It's right up your alley, we thought it was you It's a white plastic egg and you crack it open like a kind of surprise And then there was this pink Latexy pocket pussy looking thing in there But Vaughn's loving it because it's like he's got a foreskin now Yeah, it's Taking him back to the womb What's that? Send you pictures, Yeah, it's taking him back to the womb.

What's that? Send you pictures. Okay, we'll send you some pictures. Yeah, so it's not you that left this for Hayley. It's like it had something in it, babe. It had something in it and a little packet of lube. I think that's just to hold its shape when it's in the egg. It holds it upright because that could sink in the egg. Yeah, but it's not you.

Hayley, what do you put in it? What are you meant to do with it? Well, I sort of... F***! F***ing hell. We bleeped that out, dear listener. Oh, my God, you manky bastard. Oh, my God, I finally found it.

I went far enough. I went far enough. Just the image. I went far enough that Aileen's like angry. She's like, I don't like that at all. But I thought it was a menstrual cup, but the opening's too small. Or just right for some. If it's a vulva, I mean, you've never been scissor-sistering for a while,

so I'm very confused. Yeah, I know. I haven't. Okay. Yeah, God knows. We'll let you go, Morgan. Thank you. We really appreciate it.

Sorry for the cold call. Yeah, we never usually do this. Are you coming to drinks on Saturday? What's the drink? Birthday drinks. Oh, somebody's not paying attention in the group chat, are they? Oh my God, she's got the on mute like I do.

Sorry, sorry, birthday drinks for our girl. Yes, I'll be there. Okay, we'll see you then. See you there, buddy. Okay, love you, bye. I hate to say it. Must be Laura. You must be your friend Laura.

Well, I messaged her, but I'm just having a look online. Oh, I can't go on the website. Pocket. Oh, we're beeping every time that's said. Oh my God, I opened up the images. I'm'm sorry it's not that that's okay but this is a version of here you go ready okay well the that's on the microphone Oh, that is... Oh, no, stop. It's genuinely what it is.

Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck. Okay. Okay, thank you, dear listeners. Sorry about all the bleeps there in the language. Sorry, yeah, but this bleeped the whole thing. Yeah. It's great.