ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 4th April 2024

Episode Date: April 3, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Conjoined Twins!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod Great things are brewing at McCafe The perfect start to every day Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod And I have a question to pose Pose it my friend, pose it Have you guys seen this news story Or these stories everywhere

About the co-joined twins that have a TV show Conjoined Abbey and Wabba Do you say con? I thought it was co-joined Oh no it is, it's. Conjoined. Conjoined. Abbey and... Do you say con? Yeah. I thought it was co-joined. Oh, no, it is. It's conjoined.

When in life have you ever said co-joined twins? Conjoined. Conjoined. I call them Siamese twins. I'm not afraid to. Wow. I'm not afraid to attribute the joining of twins to the nation of Siam. Now and always Thailand.

Ang and Chang were the first recognized Siamese twins. Is that why they're called Siamese twins? Yeah, because they were born in Siam. Wow. Oh, great. Fact of the day. I think it has been a fact of the day many years ago. Every now and then it pops into my head.

I'm full of this useless shit. These conjuring twins have a TLC reality show, Abby and Brittany, and one of them got married, but now there's a paternity test and there's some scandal. I've sort of loosely followed these two since they were like kids. Right. Because they've always been

documenting their whole lives. Because they're, they're twins, which like they share an entire body and it's like two heads. Right. But they've got different like systems within them. But they, you know,

like some conjoined twins they have like arms and different arms and stuff, but they share almost the whole body. For the TV show, do they get two pays

or one pay? No! So, they have a job. They went to university and they got separate degrees. They got a job, but they get one salary.

Wait, they got separate degrees? Yeah. Imagine being dragged along to all your Siblings boring ass classes If I was joined with my brother I would have to go through

Like five years Of health science training Dude imagine If you were conjoined to me If we were siblings You'd have to go to Fucking drama school Yeah

And you're like I want to be a doctor And it's like fine We'll go after this We're going to roll around For a bit Okay here's my question That I wanted to pose

It's a hypothetical. You can be conjoined with another, any celebrity's head on your body. Who is it? You get to make out with them. Are they your sibling? Or is their head just there suddenly? They're not your sibling. They're a celebrity, and their head's just there, and then that's it.

You forever. I want to say Jason so I could kiss him. You'd be too close. But then I wouldn't be able to touch him. There's no body. It's my body. Yeah, he wouldn't be able to touch you because he's no arms. Well, he's got one arm.

These guys control one arm each. Right, okay. Is it his arm or your arm? That's what I mean. Is it my sort of like soft feminine arm and his like jacked bicep? So you're going half, half. Yeah, that's, I don't know. I don't know.

I need more context around the question. This is perhaps the dumbest question you've ever posed. Well, I don't hear your answer, Vaughn. Celebrity's head, just the smallest celebrity. A baby celebrity, so it's just easy to cart around and I could probably have it lobbed off without it copsing me. You're not allowed to lob off the celebrity head. I'm lobbing it off.

Bourne, you are stuck with it. You would go for an interesting celebrity, right? Like someone who's real brainy and has good chat. You'd go for a comedian, wouldn't you? Bill Gates. Bill Gates. Name a comedian that wouldn't get a little too much. Someone telling you jokes all day Just inescapably

What about like Larry David You love Curb Your Enthusiasm I love Curb Your Enthusiasm but no He'd get a bit much You'd have to have a mute tiny baby Or a dead head Elvis'

dead head A decaying head next to you? He's dead and he's there and they're like, is that Elvis? You're like, yeah. I don't want to talk about it. How the hell did that get there? Is he dead? Yeah. Well, of course he's dead.

He died in 1977. I'm not allowed. Yeah. Fletch said I wasn't allowed. I guess you could just put a beanie over his rotting dead head. Right over. I assume he's not rotting because he's still on the circulatory system. Well, then how's he dead?

He's just dong brain damage. He's a vegetable. He's dead. So he's like a ghost? He breathes and even that fucks me up. I'm like, stop breathing, Elvis. Breathe right in your ear. And you know he was quite, you know, like clogged up near the end.

He'd be a snorer. He would have been a roarer snorer. Oh, God. What about someone who could sing? Like, what about lovely music? What about Nora Jones? Oh, yeah. I love Nora Jones.

Okay, what about Nora Jones on your shoulder? And then you're like, Nora, give me something. She's like, come away. You know, that could be nice. Sing us some of the album tracks, Nora. We've heard that one a bit much lately. That's what I'm probably going to end up singing. Where does she get offended?

Actually, that would be very breathy. Very breathy in the air. Nora. I tried, guys. I tried. You answer it. Who's on your shoulder? It could be Vaughn. Oh, God answer it. Who's on your shoulder? It could be Vaughn.

Oh, God, no. He's on my shoulder. I've been on his shoulder for the last 20 years. Yeah, yeah. I've been on his shoulder for 20 years. Yeah, right. Carry me, daddy. Carry me.

Carry me. Tell me what to do. I've got Nora Jones. I've decided. You're going Nora. You're going to lock in Nora. Are you really going to lock in Jason Momoa? Nah. Who are you going to?

Because I'll be weird all day. Just smirching yourself. And then what if you like fell out? And technically you're smirching yourself. Yeah. I know. Does he, who controls the arousal system? Can we say we do?

Oh, okay. Well, I've just thought of one. What about David Attenborough? Well, he's going to die soon. Yeah, but then you have A rotting You have another Rotting head on your shoulder You've got Albert

Who's going to rot Everyone would want To talk to him No I've got Nora Jones But he's got that Lovely voice 90% of people Wouldn't recognise

You've got David Attenborough Everyone would be like Oh David Tell us about the penguin Do the voice And you'd be like Fuck's sake

Yeah Because you were in a hurry And he's like Taking it slow Because he's a nature Documentarian He's like Oh like I Slow down Paul And enjoy the world around us He'd be able to Narrate your life While you're walking Because you were in a hurry and he's like taking it slow because he's a nature documentarian. He's like, I give up.

Slow down, Paul, and enjoy the world around us. He'd be able to narrate your life while you're walking down the street. No, it would get annoying. Anything would get annoying. Over the course of the winter, she really blew out again. Yeah. Sometimes I just want to tell my inner monologue to shut the fuck up when I'm doing stuff. So I can only imagine what it would be like having someone else yapping on your shoulder

the whole time I cannot choose your Nora Jones is a great option random random celebrity generator yeah

I need some options random celebrity generator Bethany Frankel random celebrity oh fuck off fucking hell oh my god imagine every time that

fucking ad comes on a podcast random celebrities okay Hayley there's eight there's been you have been jittery. You have to pick from one of these eight. This is it. This is it.

Thank you. Thank you. I need limited options. One, Arnold Schwarzenegger. I'm being arty. I'm going to hang out. At least you'd finally nailed the accent. What do you mean finally?

I've nailed it. Zayn Malik. No. Serena Williams. Grunty. Grunty. Only when you're playing tennis, though. Vince Vaughn.

Zac Efron. Anne Hathaway. Oh, fuck off. Sheunty. Grunty. Only when you're playing tennis, though. Vince Vaughn. Zac Efron. Anne Hathaway. Oh, fuck off. She annoyed her. Lady Gaga or Hugh Laurie? Hugh Laurie. Hugh Laurie. Okay, you're going Hugh Laurie.

Hugh Laurie. Very funny man. I'm going Hugh Laurie, second place Serena. Really? Okay, Fletcher. Fuck yeah, she'd be great. Okay. Does Fletcher have to choose from this list?

Yeah, I don't know who three of them are Do you want me to refresh or are you happy to go with five? No refresh Okay number one Bill Cosby Wait so are you going to prison? I guess you have to Do I have to take his head to prison? Yeah do you have to pay for what he did?

Emma Thompson British actor Keith Richards from the Rolling Stones Oh god Oh fuck The Durries Oh you'd Sting a Durries

And all of a sudden You'd be like Fuck I'm Jack I'm Jack And you'd look across And he's just got Coke right in his mouth He's like

Sorry mate Sorry Sorry I didn't know About both of us Also he's He's about to turn Into a rotting head Isn't he

Yeah He's not far Stacey Dash Don't know who that is She was an actress And then she came out With some Unusual Um Thoughts John Malkovich Oh okay Oh Yeah, he's not far. Stacey Dash. Don't know who that is. She was an actress and then she came out with some unusual thoughts.

John Malkovich. Oh, okay. Christina Aguilera. Mark Burnett. Didn't he? I think I've met him. I've met him, yeah. He invented Survivor and did The Apprentice.

Christina's got two bigger set of lungs on her. No, she needed to use your lungs. You've got good lungs, though. Yeah. Yeah. But her voice, you know. You'd just be a bit like. Oh, that'd be a bit much because it'd be right by my ear. Right in your ear.

Right in your ear. Who else was there? I don't know. I refreshed the page again because this is just a fascinating. Maybe John Malkovich. Yeah, great. Yeah. Sarcastic.

Okay, Vaughn. Oh, no, I would choose Nora Jones. No, but you've got to do this. Okay, so I've just Clicked it again Jean-Claude Van Damme Okay We want to do the splits This isn't the body

For the splits Catherine Zeta-Jones Oh I love her Yeah but you don't Want to get that It'd stop me going down On her wouldn't it I think she got rid

Of the HPV Did she get rid of HPV I still If you don't know the story Michael Douglas Her husband Yeah Who's older than her

And so lucky to be married to One of the most beautiful Welsh woman In existence When he got Cancer Although don't forget He was a very good looking man

He was a stunning looking man Back in the day I remember What was it Jewel of the Nile With Catherine And she was like The stunning 86 symbol

And now she talks like that Yeah she had a few durries I think And then she was in Californication Yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah, she was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Brad Paisley.

Oh, so to finish that story, Michael Douglas got throat cancer and he said he believed it was because he went down. He got HPV in the throat. What, I don't know. And she's just like, fuck up. You. No one made you.

Michael. Brad Paisley, country music star. Bethany Frankel star Bethany Frankel Bethany Frankel's on my list Yes If you don't know who she is She does She's a real housewife

Who did a podcast Oh real housewife Who did a podcast What were those podcasts We always listened to The guy that Cautionary Tales Yeah Cautionary Tales

Tim Harford The ads for that Constantly Bethany Frankel Bethany Frankel's podcast Beyonce Knowles Oh Bit much Howard Stern Bit much Hugh Jackman Probably That'd be fun Lovely Ads for that constantly, Bethany Frankel. Bethany Frankel's podcast. Beyonce Knowles. Oh, a bit much. Howard Stern.

A bit much. Hugh Jackman. Probably. That'd be fun. Yeah, I think Hugh Jackman. Or Perry Edwards. I don't know who Perry Edwards is. You'd go Hugh Jackman.

I'd probably, out of those eight, I'd go Hugh Jackman. Or Zeta Jones. I think we've got some great conjoined twins there for us. Hugh Jackman. What's yours? I went John Malkovich. Bill Cosby. Hugh Jackman.

Bill Cosby. And I chose, I don't know, Rewind and have a listen. I hope they've got a great memory because ours is terrible. Literally five seconds ago. Someone needs to be able to remember that. You can rewind this podcast and find out who's on my shoulder. Perfect.