ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 4th August 2024

Episode Date: August 3, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Vaughan asked a Dangerous Question!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fletchborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod Great things are brewing at McCafe The perfect start to every day Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod And I would like to back that up with another welcome to The Little Bit of Pod And I would like to bookend Fletch's welcome, squeeze your welcome with another welcome Well, haere mai Haere mai, no mai haere mai, ki te podcast

Thank you Do you want a translation? Pardon me? my, hi to my, ki te podcast. Thank you. Do you want a translation? Pardon me? No, welcome to the podcast. Basically, yeah. I just didn't acknowledge it. It's embarrassing that you, he said it because he wanted a translation. I did not.

I knew you said welcome to the podcast. White man throws white man under bus. Yeah. I just wanted to be like just cancelled For a couple of podcasts In these tough times White guys have got To stick together It's important We rally together

No rallying Exclusively white guys Don't use the word rally We're not rallying I actually went on The Zoom call White guys for Carmelo The other day

Oh did you Yeah Just to do my bit Yeah Okay It's lovely Just lovely Good

I didn't get the invite I'm for Absolutely Well because you weren't on the Zoom I know I wasn't on the Zoom I wasn't invited to the Zoom Are you racist? Are you a racist white man?

I'm not a racist Are you rallying against A woman of colour I think we've long established Bourne is a A fan of the melting pot I'm a pro woman of colour Yeah you are

On all fronts I would say It's a passion of yours And for that I thank you Like if you went on a reality show They'd be like Oh, woman of colour. Yeah, you are. On all fronts. I would say it's a passion of yours. And for that, I thank you. Like if you went on a reality show, they'd be like, next up it's Vaughn Smith from New Zealand. Yeah. 42 years old and he loves brown girls.

He's looking for just a brown girl. He loves video games, farming and brown girls. And brown girls. He likes it better when he doesn't know where they're from. He does. Big fan. I've got know where they're from. He does. Big fan. I've got one at home, actually, a brown girl.

Yeah, you do. I'm married to her. And that leads me nicely along to how I've upset her this week. Oh, God. Multiple ways.

Right. But yesterday... Are you just going to pick one? I'll pick one in particular. I told her she had... I reckon don't air them all. I told her she had smelly wheeze. Did not like that at all.

What was this like our silly little poll earlier this week about asparagus? It wasn't about asparagus she hadn't had asparagus. That's what I said I was like

someone on the asparagus. She was like I beg your pardon because I was having a shower and she came in and used the toilet. Right. She said on two toilets.

Yeah yeah I don't know why I don't think she knew i was in the shower when she beelined it for that bathroom yep and then she sat down and i was like someone's had asparagus is it because it was the steam of the shower you know how fast we smell fast we smell so great in the shower i know so good so pungent it's like it just sort of disperses it evenly across the room and if you uh do wheeze on your partner's feet in the shower, if you're ever showering a shower together,

might I say if you've not, you simply must. Aaron thinks it's gross that I wee in the shower every single time. I always wee in the shower. It's the best place to wee. What, am I going to get out? Yeah. And you're saving water because you're using that water anyway. It saves a flush.

And it's good for you. Yeah. All my stingray bites and jellyfish. Oh, yeah. Athlete's foot. Athlete's foot Athlete's foot Everything Yeah Maybe that's why

I've avoided a whole summer Two summers in a row Without thrush I have a question And I don't know If it's even fit for podcast Well Say it

We can edit it Ask it And then You can bleep it Yeah we can bleep it If it's not appropriate Because when guys We're in the shower

We can direct it Famously We can direct our flow of urine We'll stand at a urinal and we can... You wouldn't believe this sometimes by how much splashes around in a male bathroom. Run down the leg. Or unless you've got a giant foray, then it kind of just splinkles, I guess. Yeah.

You should pinch it. You might have to pull it back a little bit. You've got to hold it like a balloon. You've got to hold it like a balloon. Pull it tight so you can get a little bit of... Weep, weep, weep, weep, weep, weep, weep, weep. No, if you were a gooey Just let it out Just like what

Stand shoulder Shoulder with the part Feet shoulder with the part Down the leg I mean you're in the show You're in the best place Soft knee No I won't really adjust

Hard knee Just go out Locked knee I'll just keep going About my business That was all I wanted No that's fine That's a fine question to ask

Yeah I just sometimes I don't know if it's an inappropriate question. I wasn't sure if you got the balls out when you took away the urinal without taking your pants down. I mean, we have to ask these questions of each other. Yeah, we do because we don't know. We don't know. We don't know because we're not in there. But yes, we do take the balls out.

Yeah. We don't. I don't. I don't. I like to just skip. Why not? Wait, are you being serious or not? Because I don't. I leave them. I like to just give. Why not? Are you being serious or not? Because I don't.

I leave them in. I leave them in. You surely don't pop the balls out. We don't just pop them out and air them out. Just air the balls out. Just park them there. It is good for a midday airing. Yeah.

You can't have them in there all day. No, no, no. Definitely give them an air out. So yeah, I said to her, I was like, oh, smelly wheeze. She's not happy about it. She's like, don't say that. I was like was like well it's the two of us and you do have smelly wheeze is she not home she wasn't no she's been drinking some uh protein brothy thing and she said it's quite a lot oh it's a new like vitamin thing because it smelled like it didn't smell like asparagus, but it definitely smelled like piss. Not to dive into her toilet habits, which I know she'll despise.

She'll hate this. This is why it's on a little bit of pod, not the main show. Shut your traps. Don't message her. Oh my God, don't turn me on. You're pissing. Don't. So our friends, Jake and Casey, came over to our house yesterday.

Oh, did they know about the smelly piss? No, they don't know about that. But our friend Casey, who has all these stomach issues, has just worked out that she can drink Coronas. And she has two Coronas and she's like, woo! She gets all tiddly. And she said she was around at Vaughan's the other day and she farted. Like a fart came out when Vaughan was out getting beers.

And she said she was so mortified to fart in front of Sade because everyone knows that Sade doesn't fart. Yeah, no, she doesn't. No, she doesn't. I was like, Sade must fart. She gets farted in front of a lot. I know, but I was like- By myself and my two manky daughters.

Well, she makes up with it with her smelly wheeze. With her smelly wheeze. Yeah. Wow. You're in so much trouble if she finds out about this. Don't tell anyone. This is a secret. You'll shut your mouths. We've got the spare room, Vaughn. You can come and much trouble if she finds out about this. Don't tell her. This is a secret. You'll shut your mouth.

We've got the spare room, Vaughan. You can come and stay. That'd be great. You don't have smelly wheeze, do you? It reeks!