ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 4th October, 2025

Episode Date: October 3, 2025

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; it's a Naughty Little Poll! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the Zedium Podcast Network, it's Fletchforn and Haley's Little Bit of Pod. Norty. Norty little poe. Nauty little poe. It is so... Norty, naughty, naughty little pole. Norty little pole. Nauty little poe.

Nauty little pole. Nauty little pole. This is a naughty little pole for the podcast. It's only a story that we came across. for some context that we thought we pretty couldn't talk about it on the radio because it's a bit naughty

Yes, it is a bit too naughty for the radio The Bachelor star Madison Pruitt says that she has been free from masturbation for 10 years Yeah Free! It sounds like you're in a prison

Of your own building There has been a movement In like the last few years The what are they called the no fat movement FAP free FAP free Fat-free, free, free-a-vary, no nut November. A lot of God, it's more of a guy thing.

Yeah, isn't it really? Hold on to testosterone thing. In-cell. Yeah, it does have links to that kind of community as well. So, I think it's one of life's greatest joy. Sometimes I look at the world and I think, oh my God, or my day, I'm like, oh, God. Everything's burning down. Everything sucks.

I just can't be able to. I'm like, well, at least that'll be something good. True that. True that. So we asked, do you masturbate, do you bash one out? Do you beat it? Do you crank it? Do you fap, do you frigg, do you jack off, do you jork it?

Do you knock one out? Are you reading a list? Are you reading a list? Do you rub one out? Do you self-pollute? Do you service oneself? Do you skeet, toss, toss off, touch, wank, wank, whack it off. Do you buff the muff?

Buff the muff? Okay, never say buff the muff again. Do you eat the ditch the ditch? Okay, let's stop. Do you play the clitter? Let's stop. Do you polish the pearl? Do you wring the devil's doorbell?

Do you bash the bishop? Do you choke the chicken? Do you flog the dolphin? I think that's enough. You pull one's put to you, spank the monkey, you wax the dolphin, you're whittle the whale bone. I'm set now and my bone is gone. Do you?

So are the results? 86% of people masturbate. That's... It should be 100. It should be 100. Do you think anyone thought it was a trap? And they were like, I'm not admitting to them that I do it. Oh my God, I don't understand when partners are like,

you shouldn't masturbate. It should be all about me. No, no, no, it's not. It's got nothing to do with you, home. It's plenty for everybody. as our friend sexologist Morgan Penn say about this? You know, she is an advocate

for self-pleasure. Not only because it's fun and hot. Yes. A lot of health benefits. But then also it can be to the detriment of the relationship sometimes if someone's doing it too much. Too much, yeah. You know, make it all leathery and chafed

like yours. Wethered, old cock. Wow. He's got an absolute... Calist. Thank you. This wasn't about me. Like a mushroom in the back of the veggie bin. Oh, sh, dry.

And there's a little bit of dirt on it because it's like, the supermarket didn't clean it. Hey, spirit, give me some moisture, say. Okay, let's move on. I am fungus. Some feedback. I should be moist and warm. Some feedback. Eighty-six percent of people masturbate.

Let's see what they've got to say for themselves. I do a lot. I've done it while I'm on a team's. call from when I was working from home and no one knew. That's a woman though, eh? Because the movements. Yeah, the men could never get away with that. And if they did, I don't know.

Tip of the hat to that. Man, if he got away with that. Yeah, yeah. Well, so imagine your camera arm or your laptop just droops down and they see. Oh, I know. And you're like closed your eyes or something. And the laptop's going down and down and down. I'm going down, down and running around.

Um, I don't know if that's a guy or a girl. The names, I can see the name. I'm not going to say it out loud. I can see the name. It's a very unique name. Okay. That could be male or female. Okay.

But, I mean, hell yeah. Good on you. Stiff. I'm going to keep the names short. Stiff, that could be anybody. I don't need to anymore because my man knows how to fuck. Oh, Vaughn. She said it.

Yes, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, C. However, I used to. religiously in my previous relationship Relentlessly. Well, religiously in this case. In my previous relationship, which says a lot about the relationship. This sounds like a new relationship. Give it a little bit of time.

You'll be back to relentlessly having a... It's just different as well. I think it's just different. Religious. Relentless. Joel said, I used to masturbate a lot, but then I found a woman with more of a sex drive. And now I'm just trying to keep up with her. Oh, hot.

The women, they crank it up, eh, as they get older. That's why the younger guy's like an old bird, eh? Shut the fuck. The 18-year-olds on the dating apps. Going after this old duck. This old ducky. And in mid to late thirds. Oh, God.

Such a baby face. Sam said, who doesn't? Let Jesus watch if he wants to. Jesus actually can't. It's like Google Maps can't see through the roofs. No, he can't. They can see through walls, but not roofs. Yeah, which is good.

Because he's above. Because he's in heaven. Because he's in heaven in the clouds. Sarah said 87% of it. people telling the truth, the rest are lying. Some people just don't. We know some. We know people that don't.

It's bizarre. Yeah, we do. Just, what do they do the minute they get to a hotel? To watch telly? Unpack their clothes? The fuck? Man, hotels see some things, eh? We unbuckle at the door.

You know what I mean? We're belts. Shut-la-la-la-la. Bye. Yeah, quite often, Haley's in reception already taking her clothes off. I'll just leave these pants here I'll click them on the when I'll check out Solo mom I haven't any action in years

So of course I masturbate Good for you That's from KR And you deserve it Hey you get in there Get in there Give yourself heaps I don't know

I'm not very good of pep talking your masturbation Have at Have at Anonymous please for obvious reason My husband works out of town Hot video sessions are the best So they're still involving the partner But they're right

Okay I like that But they're masturbating Thank you Emma said not until I was 38. What? About 25 years later.

You would be like, I have been missing out the whole time. What I imagine the first time being like, holy shabolies. Shiver me timbers, you would say. But if you'd had sex, it wouldn't be, would it be that different? No, because you'd be like, I know what pleaser feels like.

Yeah, yeah. Amazing. But, and, oh, that one got sent twice, the one saying, percent of people are telling the truth, the rest of all lies. Yeah, right. No, but we know, we know that we will, like we said, we know people that don't know. Okay, well, thank you for your honesty, New Zealand is.

I wonder what the, if I googled, what percentage of people, um, just in the world. Yeah, like other studies might come up. Yeah, but religious, that would, you know, depending on the world, we're not a particularly religious country. No, yeah, that's true. According to a 2023 study, 80% of Americans masturbate. Maybe. Um, world's largest masturbation survey uncovered.

how traditional views of masculinity prevent men from having fulfilling sex lives and relationships. Oh shit, I don't need to... Yeah, look, that's not... More men, more American men masturbate than woman. Chailed up. Killed up.

Killed up. So, we asked you. Yeah, yeah, I'm getting to it. I'm getting back. Sometimes you need to lead the horse down the... Yeah, to the water. Where are we going? I don't know.

He's eating the leaves. And then leave the horse there, tie him up and pop into the bush for a wank. Do you masturbate? 86% of people said, Yes.