ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 4th September 2023

Episode Date: September 3, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Fletch had an embarrassing moment on his hike!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fletchbourne and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with MyMackersRewards. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. And over the weekend, just gone, went with some friends up the Pinnacles Walk. Beautiful walk. Cora Mandel, Vaughan and I have done this walk many years ago.

I did it for the first time in 1996. I did it with, oh no, I actually did it before then as like a primary school age kid because it was quite a popular place for like a school camp. Yeah,

because they've got a valley base camp where we stayed and we hiked up to the pinnacles and then we did it again at high school. And they've got a massive dock hut up there

that sleeps like 200 people. It's insanely massive. I've never done it. I've never, it's pretty people. It's insanely massive. I've never done it. I've never. It's pretty cool. You'd love it. It's a great walk. We chose the only place in New Zealand at the weekend with rain and cloud.

That was so weird. It was stunning in Auckland. I was waiting for it all weekend and we never really got the weather that you had on that hike. Yeah, because the view from up there is incredible. You can see the entire Coromandel. A lot of people go up and stay the night in the huddle. They get up at like 4 a.m., hike to the summit,

and then watch the sunrise, and it's incredible. It's an absolute Instagram bait. Oh, I know. I know. The photos. But we just wanted to hike, and even though it was cloudy, it was still fun. Did it for the fit bra. Yeah, did it for the fitness bra, bra, bra.

Yeah, bra, bra, bra. Closed my rings. Who was the girl you were with? Even though it was cloudy It was still fun Did it for the fit bra Yeah did it for the fitness bra Yeah bra bra bra I saw that Closed my rings Who was the girl you were with? Is that a girlfriend? Oh my god Is that your girlfriend? It was the girl on the trip

No so Do you know Morgan Our friend Morgan She's like Why wasn't I invited? Who's this new girl? Yeah I sort of There's something about it

I saw you with the pals And I was like No she's a friend of ours She's also a doctor She's friends with Dr. Shawnee She's a doctor Right Dr. Robin Whoa It was just I was like No she's a friend of ours She's also a doctor She's friends with Dr. Shawnee She's a doctor Right Dr. Robin

Whoa It was just Wow Is she a doctor Like a qualified doctor Or is she a doctor Like crystals and shit No she's an actual doctor

She's an actual doctor Yeah yeah You never know with Dr. Shawnee Deals a lot with the pain With the pain Urology Oh So the pain and the

The pain and the puss Pain and the puss Yeah This is a podcast We can the pain and the, the pain and the puss. Pain and the puss, yeah. This is a podcast, we can say puss, can't we? Pain and the puss. I just want an alliteration. Yeah. I don't know if she,

I mean, she's a doctor. The urethra and the urethra. But great to go on a hike with. The feminine urethra. Yeah, of course. The urethra. Yeah.

Great to go on a hike with two doctors and an HR specialist. Yeah, true. Oh, HR, that would be good. They're helpful. Just in case you need to fire someone. Yeah, and a fucking radio broadcaster, also helpful.

Yeah. Talking the whole time. A lot of it, because I really want to get some outdoor hikes going. I tried for the first kilometre of the hike to walk with my friends. Oh, for God's sake. Did you leave them behind? You piece of shit. You went on a social hike and blasted everybody i walked ahead

and then i waited at the little swing bridge and i was like for fuck's sake like it's been five minutes like come on it's flat still and then so i walked ahead i waited at the next swing bridge and i was like for fuck's sake this is you should have just gone on your own and then i did i just i went up there and i think I was at the hut for about 40 minutes. Wait, he went on his own. I'm not hiking with you. I absolutely nailed that I went up there. I got up there so fast.

But then that's the thing. You're there and you sit on your ass for 40 minutes. You better walk at a slower pace. I got so cold waiting. Like, my sweat was turning to, like. Yeah. Yeah, but anyway, they came. We had lunch at the hut.

Then we did the summit. And then, again, again i tried because it's quite technical at the time you got to jump over some like there are some ladders and some rocks yeah and so i was with some friends and then i was like okay i can't keep going at this pace i'm gonna burn down to the heart again yeah because i'm i'm sick of this and i was by myself yeah for this and it was like there was a lot of wank did you have a little oh yeah yeah yeah no no you're a taxpayer you're you're actually if you read the fine print the demand for conservation you're a taxpayer you're allowed to actually lock the hut when the because there's a water yeah they lock it until people start arriving to stay the night because i don't want people going in i guess because it's so you can even go into the kitchen. You can go into the outside cupboard,

but not the kitchen. They put a padlock on it until like 3.30. I'll just face the wall. Yeah. What if you... Okay, I wasn't... I'm going to have one in the coal shed. Because our friend Nathan and I

suck somebody's dick in that coal shed. Yeah, I did tell everybody that story at the weekend. I said, our gay friend came up here and found another gay. I mean, they'll find them anywhere. Gays in the bush. It's like crunching up cornflakes. You just make a sound.

I'm coming down. I'm coming down too. Yeah, they find each other. So I was coming down from the summit by myself and it was like, it was like incredible. It was just like cloud around.

It was like misty. It was so cool. And there are a few ladders. So I was by myself and I was like, got down the first ladder, got down the second ladder and walking backwards

and then just as I planted my foot, I let out a large, giant fart. What slipped it? I ruined nature. Oh, you farted in nature. It was just beautiful and I was like,

There's nothing more natural than a fart. Yeah, but it was fine because my friends were like two ladders behind. I couldn't even see them with the fog. That's why I had to

haul ass to the hut. He had a skid. Yeah, that's why. I let go of the ladder and took one step, and there's a lady right there. Oh, no. You found it in her face. Fletch. And at this stage, I'm wearing my, like, rain, because it's raining.

And so my hood's over my head. Unrecognizable. He's in disguise. There's like a letterbox kind of, you can see my face, and that's it. And I was like, oh, hi. And just walked past her. You didn't say excuse me. Well, no, because I was so embarrassed.

And then I was starting to walk and I thought I was alone in the wilderness. And I had let off this, like it wasn't a miss. It's not like it sounded like my foot hitting the ground. It was a classic fart. It was a quiet in nature. Yeah, beautiful. Gigantic fart. And I was like, well, I'm just leaving now.

I'm off to the heart. I'll never see this woman again in my life. And you're regaling this story to us. She'll be doing the same. God is in the bush. There's a man in front of me. So we're driving back to Auckland and I'm posting all my Instagram stories. Oh, my God.

No, no. My photos and such. And I get a message request from Briar Pope. Oh, for God's sake. Oh, my God. No, no. My photos and such. And I get a message request from Briar Pope. Oh, for God's sake. Oh, no. Underneath this message of me and my bright red jacket, which can be not mistakeable at all. Thanks for the really loud fart on your way down the ladder.

Thanks for your really loud Thanks for your really loud fart on your way down the ladder When you thought no one was there Crying face emoji Oh my god And then I was like You've got to send her something I said ha ha ha ha

I was literally like fuck And then I thought I wonder if she recognised me And then I thought oh well And she said no me. And then I thought, oh, well. And she said, no, you were safe until your mates met your name. And I connected the dots. Oh, no. Yeah.

And I said, look, I'm so sorry. But at least it'll make a funny story for the radio. She said, you're all good. Oh, my God. Yeah, that was so embarrassing. Was she hot? It shouldn't make a difference. It shouldn't make a difference.

Honestly, farting in front of hot people is so much worse than farting in front of some fuggos. It was such a blur to me because I didn't expect to see a person. It was all a blur. And I was like, ah, and I just kept walking. I was like, hi. I was like, maybe she didn't hear. Maybe she didn't recognize me. God, no wonder you needed that hot wank.

Really just remove the anxiety. I didn't have a hot wank. I'm not here to judge. At least she heard the fart and didn't hear the wank yeah imagine that she was like

oh it's too much and turned back and arrived back at the hut and find him standing in a corner unmistakable red jacket warden's like mate I've unlocked it

he's like hey look oh my god oh shit it's good hey it's good