ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 5th August 2024

Episode Date: August 4, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Someone is Keto'ing up a storm!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bitter Pod Great things are brewing at McCafe The perfect start to every day Welcome to A Little Bitter Pod Yes, this is the little pod The little company pod Not to be confused with the big one Which typically is longer

Yeah Little Bitter Pod, you've forgotten haven't you? No I haven't forgotten, I've remembered He's remembering Just give me a bit of spice around the edges. Jesus fucking Christ. Oh, come on, butter chicken. Give him a bit of dressing, you know.

He's just having raw spinach over there. Yeah. The steamed broccoli over here would like us to get on with it, if that's okay. Actually, if you're listening to this in relation to the big pod, Vaughn and I have mended bridges, and we're friends now, because we have bound together to look after this fucking idiot. Yeah, because I won't let... This bitch won't give us a slice of apple.

Which I do, Evelyn Abbott. Today, I'm not feeling as hungry. No, shut up. You said, there's no apple today. And he's got a see-through sack in which I said... He's again putting the transparent bag over the apple, thinking we can't see through plaster. Okay, apple tomorrow.

I don't want you... It's going to be a day off. Not that apple. Assimilate that later today and get us a fresh apple. Yeah, I'll eat this one today and then there'll be a fresh apple tomorrow. Don't you worry. I'm still not stoked on that. Are apples keto?

No, the antithesis. No fruit is. Sade said she wanted to try keto. And I was just like, whatever. This is what I... Okay. Roll my eyes. Here we go.

Another idea. Here we go. Good luck to you. Look forward to putting on a bunch of weight. You're not supporting me. Fuck's sake. I say under my breath as I leave the room, I am in that tone indicating I certainly am not.

Oh, yeah, of course. She's going to try keto. So she said it am not. Oh, yeah, of course. She's going to try keto. And even, so she said it, and I said, yeah, all right, I'll support you and whatever. And then I'd see her eating something, I'd be like, that's not keto. And she'd be like, a little bit is. I was like, you're not, this isn't how fucking keto works. No, keto is all or nothing. It's all or nothing.

That's what people say. And it's ridiculous. And if you can stick to it. Jesus Christ. There's some things you can eat and some you can't. I've done it maybe like four or five times throughout the last four or five years yeah and i've mostly done it four things like i've got a role in this or they've got a thing here and da da da da but it's not

fucking sustainable oh my god unless you've got epilepsy but then it's a health thing even even epileptics have trouble sticking on a keto diet even epileptic wants a chip every now and then. Yeah, give the motherfuckers a chip. Get a fucking burger in you. So I was like, that's not keto. And she's like, I don't do it on the weekends. I was like, that's just not how it works. Anyway. No cheat days on keto.

At the pub on Saturday, a keto pub. Yeah. He says, rolling his eyes. I just ordered some bits and pieces. And Shade's like, I'll just eat the pork belly bites and that because I'm trying to stick to the keto thing. And Aaron was there, Hayley's Aaron, and he's like,

he's done it before. And she's like, oh, I do keto like Monday to Friday, but on the weekends I kind of just try, but it's not, I'm not living hard and fast by it. And he's just like, he looks at me and I'm just like, shut my eyes and nod my head permission to unleash

good sir because I've made every time I've done it the only way you can do it is you gotta get your partner to do it with you right because if he's the

ahunan patates and chips and bread and stuff I'm a goner yeah yeah yeah so I've made him do it he doesn't like it and that's what he said

shut up doesn't work like that and then she looks at me how good did that feel for you that another man's being shut up doesn't work like that yeah shut up doesn't work like that and then then she looks at me. How good did that feel for you that another man's being Sade doesn't work like that? Yeah, Sade doesn't work like that. And then she looks at me like, you fucking told him to say that. I was like, no, I haven't even talked to anybody about this.

And then, yeah, he laid it out for her. The way she was doing it is not at all how it works. She got a sermon. Yeah. She got a sermon on her. Boy loves a sermon. He loves a sermon. And I just sat back.

I talked to some other people i just shrivel away from that situation yeah so she's still doing it no she realizes it's weird because i'll say something and she won't listen and generally if her mother says exactly the same thing she'll listen strange how that happens with women weird how that happens but it's exactly the same advice it's exactly the same advice just It's exactly the same advice just a different delivery system. But to hear it from my mother is better.

Right. Whereas I don't know if you think we're just trying to fuck with you or sabotage you. All you serve in my life is to ruin it. Yeah.

I think that's what the story is. And just to irk me. Yeah. Whereas my mother only ever has my best interests at heart. Yeah mother.

Yes. No I was best. Husband. Shut the fuck up. Shut up. Yeah. And it's exactly what I said but because it was a different delivery system. Oh it's best. Husband, shut the fuck up. Shut up. Yeah, and it's exactly what I said, but because it was a different delivery system. Oh, that's good.

Well, hey, any time, actually. I suppose you could employ Aaron's services to be a deliverer of the news that you want her to receive, but just from a different voice. Yeah. Well, I need to hit his other special... Don't you try it with me. Right, I wouldn't.

It doesn't work both ways. Have you thought about dressing up like your mother-in-law? Oh, yeah, yeah. When you give her this news? That's great. That's actually a good... Shoday, darling. I'm here.

Yeah. Mrs. Vornfire. Hello, dear. Listen to your husband. Yeah, that's a great idea. Because I'm just about to repeat exactly what he just said in my voice, and you're going to agree with it. Women, we're fun.

We're really fun. Yeah. We're really fun. Yeah. Keep you on your toes. I'm going to end the podcast here. I think it's a great spot to end. I'm fucked enough as it is.

I'm deep in the fuckness after this chat. Yeah, right. But yeah. Yeah, all right. Keto doesn't work like that. I was right. You were wrong. Bye.