ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 5th July 2023

Episode Date: July 4, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley answer your questions!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Download the MyMaccas app and use your points towards a coffee. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. Now, our big pod and show will be back July 17 as we take a break these holidays, mid-year. But we asked you on Instagram and our Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast family Insider page if you had any questions and ask us anything. Cool.

And we can now give you the first of two ask us anythings. Yeah. You've got the questions here? Well, I've got the comments open and I've got a list of questions here that came via social media. So should we just one for one it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Disperse it. No.

Carmen's saying no. They've actually curated these already. So they've taken questions from there. Well, they've taken out the ones that are like, how big's your dick? You know? Well, that's got to start. I don't think there were any of those, were there?

Is Fletch and Vaughn gay? That used to be a top Google search, didn't it? And then Vaughn had kids and ruined it. Ruined it. Yeah, that's right. Is gay men can have children? Yeah, they can, but... I'm not gay, but, you know, don't give up hope.

Well, you don't know. Once upon a time, they said you couldn't climb Everest. You're very quick to say that. You haven't given it a good prod yet. Yeah. You haven't explored enough. I've seen him kiss a man. He was very quick to say I'm not gay.

Yeah. Yeah. Who'd you kiss? Zach. Yeah. Yeah. And Simon. You kissed Simon that I'm not gay. Yeah. Yeah. Who'd you kiss? Zach? Yeah. Yeah. And Simon. You kissed Simon that time.

That was... Yeah. It's always gays getting you when you're drunk, isn't it? It's... Yeah. What? That's actually the title of my memoirs. Yeah.

It's always the gays. The gays always got me when I was drunk. The Vaughan Smith story. Okay, so here we go. Some Ask Us Anything questions. Question one. Okay, I am keen to know what Ask Us Anything questions. Question one. Okay. I am keen to know what you guys get up to before the show. Do you just

roll on up right before it starts or are you there for meetings ahead of time? Oh, well, should we get Vaughn to answer first? What time do you normally arrive? Well, I'm pretty sure everybody gets here at about 25 minutes to 6 because I've never seen them here any earlier. That would be my answer. I think you were here this morning at 17 minutes to 6.

Yeah, I had to get petrol. I had to get petrol. Really late this morning. I was supposed to get petrol yesterday. You know, who can be bothered stopping for petrol? It's the worst thing. When I do it in the mornings, I regret it. Do it the night before.

No, I know, but... The day before. I know, but then you're on your way home and you're like, I can stop for petrol or I can get home and go to sleep. So the normal day will be we will start arriving into the studio. I would say I would be one of the first here with Shannon. Yeah. And Carwen.

I used to be first when I first started, and then I realised that 10 minutes extra sleep is so valuable. And Jared will always be here around anywhere between five and 10 past. Yeah, and then I've kind of been, I'm more quarter past. I like when I wake up to a text message that says, Jared, say sorry, Tim, I'm going to be a little bit late just leaving now. And I'm like, wow. And he's still here.

I don't even have pants on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not even vertical. Yeah. Sometimes I'm at work and your alarm's just going off. And then you'll be here like 12- 12 past, that's sort of my general vibe. 12 past five, I should say, sorry.

Yeah. And then Vaughn we can't I eat breakfast you sometimes I do yeah like this morning I'm not missing out on anything what I want to listen to you eat

your fucking over milked porridge he over milks his oats he does he puts far too much milk on his oats and then bitches when there's no milk for coffee I'm not arguing about that

if you used some of that excessive amount of milk on the oats in the coffee we wouldn't have a milk shortage I love the milky oats but we also goss we have fun we goss. Too milky. We're going to get a photo of how they...

We goss. We should do this for a silly little poll. Are these oats too milky? No, because it's not a question. It's a fact. It's a fact. And I like it like that. I love...

And then I sieve them out and it's like a... Hey, what a waste of milk! I don't care. It's so insane. So around 5.30 in the morning, the producers... Well, hang on, because we hang out a bit. We go in here and Fletch reads the newspaper and I'll do work on my computer. See, I'm not missing anything so far.

No, we goss sometimes. You always catch me up before you go here. And we get the temperature just right. Yeah, we do. And, you know, we're looking over the news. What's broken overnight? So we're on top of things for the show. Keeping it hot, keeping it tropical.

About 5.30, the producers will come in with their laptops and we on top of things for the show keeping it hot keeping it topical about 5.30 the producers will come in with their laptops and we'll start ordering things for the show we'll go through our prep emails and then Vaughn will wander in

swan in anytime between 25 and quarter to he stopped past the toilet for a shit in the kitchen for a coffee I always stop for a coffee we'll submit about

7 or 8 ideas for top 6 and Vaughn will blankly steer it as they talk you're still waking up, you know. I'll be like, uh-huh, uh-huh. And we'll be like, Vaughan.

Well, here's the thing about the top six, it's easy to suggest an idea for a top six, because you suggest them, and I'll go through them. If I can't think of three off the top of my head, it's going to be a fucking task. Yeah. Because they're the top six. So then I'm like, okay, let me think about it.

Okay, and then you guys start talking more, and then someone will chuck another one. And I'm like, okay, I'll start thinking about that one he's remunerating he's ruminating ruminating yeah and then we'll be like Vaughn watch your top six

because we could use like five of these ideas for stories to talk about and I'll be like I don't know man you just do it and I'll sort it out and then sometimes

we'll just do the show and plan it and then we'll be like Vaughn you've got to come up with the top six and it's at ten past six and it's at ten yeah

and we fill up our little spreadsheet planner but after the show there'll be like, Vaughan, you've got to come up with the top six. And it's at ten past six. And it's at ten past six. Yeah. And we fill up our little spreadsheet planner. But after the show, there'll be, like, organizing and meetings and interviews that we might record. Like, the other day we talked to, what, a comedian, and then we played it back a couple of days later. And bullshitted that it was live. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Just totally lied to you. Yeah, a lot of bullshitting. That's good. Yeah, and that's sort of it. Okay, next question. Okay. What about later in the day? Oh, yeah, and we do work from home.

We collate news stories and send a big email through it. And ideas and things that happen to us. Or sometimes on Fridays we'll go have brunch together. Yeah. So we're genuine friends, and I think it really comes across in the show. Yeah. And Hayley will send through things. She's going through some personal stuff she's experienced.

I'll have a story or two About the kids Or the farm And Fletch will say Oh nothing I just went to the gym And had some mints Yeah He lives

I'm so busy I'm so busy The guy with zero responsibilities Not renovating a house Not raising a family Not looking after land I have a very stress free life Hayley works eight fucking jobs

Yeah And Fletch You must be thinking God that guy must live. I don't want to work eight jobs. Guys are the German estimates. Anytime I go to go do another job, I'm emceeing something tonight. I'm filming this today. He'll go like, why?

Because I have a huge mortgage. Hayley's the busiest, but never says, man, I'm too busy. And Fletch does nothing, but he's like, I've got a busy day. I've got to get out of here. I've got a busy day. I am very busy. Okay, next question. I'm too busy. And Fletch does nothing, but he's like, I've got a busy day. I've got to get out of here. I've got a busy day. I am very busy. Okay, next question. I'm very busy.

Okay, the next question we're being received. Why radio? Was there something else you wanted to do after school, or was this always the goal? I always wanted to do radio. I used to make little radio station tapes, like record songs, do the little voice breaks. Oh, my God.

That just makes me so happy. That is fucking cute. And then after, what year is Form 5? 11. Yeah, after year 11, I did a whole summer on the student radio station that they ran, which was so amazing. So beautiful. And then I was like, I want to do this.

And then I did. I'm so glad I wasn't allowed or didn't at that age. I would have said something so bad. Oh, yeah. You would have dropped huge amounts of problematic shit on there. I mean, it was a student radio station, so like hardly anyone was listening. I would have offended the one person that was.

What about you, Vaughn? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I still don't really feel like I know what I'm doing or what to do or anything. But you were obviously drawn to it. It seemed easy. I won't lie to you.

He likes to talk. It seemed easy. It seemed fun. And my dad constantly when I was growing up was like, don't get stuck doing something you don't love. Don't get stuck doing something you don't love, Don't get stuck doing something you don't love. Which is great to hear that he's getting up every morning and still is and hates it.

Still is. I mean, he could have just suffered through the one life he's been given. Yeah. I mean, he could have retired years ago. He could have, but he doesn't know how. Yeah. Maybe he doesn't know how to be happy. Yeah, maybe.

I don't know. But it's true. You don't want to be stuck doing something you hate. God, no. That was my dad as well. Make sure, like, you've got to have fun. That's what it's all about. That was when he was working for Baycorp, right,

and repossessing people's family cars and stuff. Yeah, and then coming home and being like, God, I'm the fucking devil. You've got to have fun. Rolling around, they're like, no, you can't have our fucking car. He's like, we'll see about that. And they're two huge heavies come in,

and they're just like. And I'm on radio because it's actually sort of a sustainable industry, and I went to drama school because I wanted to be an actor and you come out of drama school and they're like, hey, jokes, no jobs. So you have to... Certainly nothing stable.

And the bank's like, so you want half a million dollars off us? Yes, please. Is there any guarantee that we'll ever get that back? Well, I did an audition a couple of weeks ago and I think it went really well. How much? Did you get paid for that audition? No, no, no, I paid to go,

but I'm feeling positive that I might get an extra part on that. And the job will be paying? I think it's $200 a day and I've got a guarantee of at least 1.5 days a week. Okay. You're doing this job because there's payment. Yeah, because someone said to me, like, hey, you can still entertain people and be outgoing and have fun. But every fortnight, there's a guaranteed amount of money that will pop up.

That's amazing. Wild. I beg your pardon. I know it, please. And then, yeah. And then I was like, yes, please. Gimme, gimme, gimme. Okay.

Next question. And this is from Jamie. A great question for the Ask Us Anything. What's your favourite stone fruit? Nectarine. Nectarine. Peacherine. Oh, peacherines are good.

It's a great fruit, but it's two fruits. It's a monster. Cherries are stone fruit. Yep, cherries are yum. Cherries, apricots, peaches, nectarine. Nectarine. Plum. I am partial to a plum. But a really nice peach. Peaches Not apricots Nectarine What else? Nectarine Plum I'd say nectarine

I am partial to a plum But a really nice peach Yeah A juicy peach But nectarines have not been right for about eight years in New Zealand Hard They've not been right They haven't been as sweet

To me when you're a kid and you used to bite into a big yellow nectarine It'd be like Juicy and sweet But a nice golden peach That's perfect Peaches I'm on a list now of Can you play Peaches? The song please? Immediately. I'm on the list of most popular stone fruit. Have we missed any out? Do we want Peaches the Jack Black from Super Mario or Peaches President of the USA? President's original Peaches.

Maybe then we'll go on to Peaches the Jack Black. A song from Nintendo. So do we miss any stone fruit? Peaches, plums, cherries, nectarines, apricots, mangoes. Oh, okay, mango. I'm going mango. When we do mango margaritas. You've only like it frozen and with lots of alcohol. I wouldn't eat a mango.

I'll eat a mango sometimes. I love doing that crisscrossing and then flip it inside out. That's the key. That's the key. How many mangoes did you just chew down to the stone thing and get all in your teeth before you learned that little hack? So many. Thanks, TikTok.

Why do I want to say someone mangoes? Gary Mangos. Gareth Mangos. Get a can. They will put their part in this. Oh, yes. It was Mangos. Mangos. There's a callback to Mang Yes, it was mangoes. Mangoes.

There's a callback to mangoes. It was before the producers were here. Someone mangoes. It was a pseudonym for somebody. We were inventing a character and his name was something mangoes. Rodney Mangoes? Yeah. Garrett Mangoes?

Roger Mangoes? Was it someone Caitlin was dating back in the day, I think? Yes. And his name was Mangoes. It wasn't Gary from Crime Squad. No. But it was something to do with Gary from Crime Squad. Someone Mangos.

Right, now, hard question. Wait, wait, we're not finished. Light cheese, also technically a stone fruit. No, I don't fuck with light cheese. But not enough to enjoy by themselves. No. Raspberries. No, that's not a stone fruit.

Fuck off. Raspberries are actually not berries after all. They're technically stone fruit. They're actually an aggregate of jupilates. Each raspberry is a tiny cluster of stone fruits. Okay, well, I'd have to go raspberry. Rodney mangoes. Rodney mangoes.

What was Rodney? Do you remember? Rodney mangoes. Do you remember what Rodney mangoes was about? No, but I've got the video open in front of me, so I'll watch it and get back to you. Yeah, report back. Thank you, Producer Jared there.

Blackberries then in turn are also stone fruit. And so are mulberries. But this is like a tomato being a fruit. Yeah. It's a bit stupid, isn't it? Olives,

coconuts, dates, and the hybrids. Okay, well I'm going nectarine. No, I'm nectarine. I'll go peach. But it's got to be

a juicy peach. Not too furry. Oh, you're way too much fluff in your mouth. Give that a rinse. Now, this is a hard question. Shannon, for the Ask Us Anything, Hayley, if you had to marry Fletch or Vaughn, who would it be? Far out.

That's hard because I think lifestyle wise, I would probably fit in more with Vaughn. You know, like we live sort of in a similar place but yeah my shit i don't just want to be a geographic i don't want to be a geographical convenience okay if you're not marrying me for what's in here i love you and also but just like arguably for a number of reasons i feel like me and vaughn would have

more sex than you and i yeah you know just for a number of reasons i mean like me and Vaughn would have more sex than you and I. Yeah. You know, just for a number of reasons. Am I going to say in this? No, you're getting mounted. You're going to pay your marital dues. Help me! However, Fletch goes out more and actually

I'm more social and then in that way our lives align more. So it would be a hard decision to make. If we were married, I would constantly worry about you. Yeah, you would. Because I would be like, you're fine to go out. Not worry like what you're up to, but worry like what have you got yourself into?

You would have worried about our last Friday night out. Yeah, I would have. I get worried. Where did she end up? Where did she go? So it's a toughie. But you'd go Vaughan for the farm. I'd go Vaughan for the farm but then i'll go warm for the farm this thing is getting some great reviews in 2023 i've been decades been playing it down but knowing

that i would still have my friend there to go out with yeah yeah and that my husband vaughn would stay at home and um worry about me yeah yeah And then have the dick when you got home. And then I'd get home and be like, babe, get it out. Mama's home, babe. I'd be like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. No. I'd whack the hand away as I have.

You are welcome to that, Vaughn. No. You are welcome to that. I don't want it. Okay, last question for the Ask Us Anything for part one. Do Fletch and Vaughn get sick of each other after being friends so long? From Jesse. We did celebrate a few months ago our 19-year working anniversary slash friendship.

No, I don't think we do. No. There's a yin and a yang. Yeah. I'm like the work wife. Yep. You've got your home life. Home life.

And he just gets organized. Yeah. It's good to have these people And you quite like organising too Yeah I do I'm an organiser I don't At all Because

Yeah I feel like I think we spend the right amount of time together as well Yeah Like we're And we have fun When we are Hanging out

We'll go away for a weekend every now and again And it's fine You don't You're not at the end of it, you're like, God fucking hell. Yeah. Yeah. Are you? You're not like that, eh? No, no, no.

Yeah, feel. Okay. Good, yeah. I've got to get home anyway. Drunk Hayley wants to play with my dick. Give her a leg. Give her something. No.

Yank. No. No. No. No. No.