ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 5th June 2023

Episode Date: June 4, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Hayley has a plan for her Houseplants!(As today is a Public Holiday, there will be no Big Pod today - But it'll be back tomorrow!)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fletchborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Thanks to McCafe. Great things are brewing, one cup at a time. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. You may hear us speak about our show friend and show doctor, Dr. Shawnee. Often I'm going to him with rashes, bumps, pimples I mean you say show doctor but unofficial You get drunk and you pester him with your rashes

Yeah, yeah The other day he had to reassure me I guess That I've not self-diagnosed myself with MS Because I had a small tingle in my right finger And then he told me exactly what it was And it made so much more sense Yeah And again he didn't charge you He's a good man right finger and then he told me exactly what it was and it made so much more sense yeah and again he didn't charge you he's a good man he didn't charge me at all all he wants me to do is make

him another aperol spritz and stop asking questions yep the barter system exactly beautiful anyway i've employed his services in a different way uh again i won't be paying him just just i hope he's listening actually shawny I will not be paying you. No. Because very soon all of our joinery arrives at our house. Oh, exciting. To the windows. To the walls.

To the doors. Yeah, to the doors. To the sweat drip down my balls. But we don't have no walls, so they have to go in the garage. And in the garage, we have about, I think I've got like 40 houseplants or something like that. You've got an insane amount of houseplants for a small, at the time, pre-reno, small house. Very small. And they've all just been surviving, not thriving, in the garage for nearly six months now

because the whole process is going really fucking terribly. Producer Jared just thought we were on air. Do you know what? Even if we were, I would say the same thing and cop the trouble. Anyway, so I've got to move all my plants out. And Aaron, bless the man, suggested we sell all my plants and just start again.

Now, some of these plants I've had since we moved to Auckland in 2017. Also, some of these plants are very expensive. Like, haven't you got some of those Vitiligo Monsteras? You know I've got a Monstera Thai Constellation. Yes. Anyway, so I've employed Dr. Shawnee, who is also a plant enthusiast. The dude's got a green thumb. He loves his gardening.

He does. He loves his gardening. He made so many tomatoes last summer, he couldn't even keep up with them. Well, the plants made the tomatoes. No, but he encouraged the plants. He cared for them and encouraged. He injected them with steroids he stole from work. That's not a thing.

He didn't know. He prescribed the tomato plants some Viagra. No, no, no. Yeah, a bit of that. Well, that gets them growing up straight. Yeah, yes. And then some hydrocortisone. Yeah.

Yeah, that just fixes everything. Yeah, steroid cream. And then they got a bit sad, the tomatoes. Yeah. So he gave them some antidepressants. Yeah. Yeah. Which is nice.

So they're fully medicated tomatoes. Well, this is why I want him. And I've asked him to basically foster my children, my small plants, for a couple of months. So on Sunday, he's given me the key to his house. They're not there. And I'm going to go in and I'm going to fill his house with about, I think I can get like 25 in there. His payment will be the propagation because he's going to be able to take, he's going to be able to propagate. No, it's winter. He can't propagate or he'll damage the antiquity.

He's got a warm house. He's got a warm house. He's got a warm house. He's got a warm house. It might as well be a, it might as well be summer there year round. So you can't propagate in winter. You have to do it in summer when it's warmer. When it gets a little sprouty.

Oh, okay. It's not growing at the moment. So if you cut it, it'll just be like, okay. Okay, right. I will die here. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So anyway, yeah, I'm going to drop it, it'll just be like, right, okay. Okay, right. I will die here. Yeah, okay. So anyway, yeah, I'm going to drop off I think about 25 of them to his house.

I said 10. I said 10-ish, but I think I can fit 25 in there. Wow, that's like dropping off your babies. Yeah, I know. I'm quite nervous because I have done it before with people, and they've killed them. Oh, wow. I put the word out because I knew that he's got a green thumb because of theiasco so hopefully he doesn't kill them because otherwise i'll kill him and what about the really expensive one the what did you call it thai constellation no that's staying at home

oh you don't trust anyone with that no no no way you take a little propagate propagate it you can't i was talking to someone recently who they said they went into a plant store that I won't name. Yeah. And they was really, really expensive plants. And they took in their little propagating scissors. And they like gave one a little nip and put it in their bag. That's theft. But that's technically like shoplifting, right?

It's like downloading. It's downloading because the main thing remains, but you get a copy. Oh, I don't know. No, it's not the same because you're taking, that would be like going into a bakery and just slicing off a little bit of cake. Then the cake grows back, but it doesn't grow back. Given enough time, the cake continues to be a cake. Imagine if cake grew back.

Imagine if it was a never-ending cake, But if you finished it, that was it. It was gone. But as long as you left some, it would always grow a little bit back the next day. Could you leave a crumb? No, you have to leave at least 10%. Okay, that's fair. You have to leave at least 10%. Well, I would just make a line on the cutting board underneath. Don't go past this line.

I'd make it at 15% to be safe. Yeah, a buffer. And it always remains fresh. Yes, and it's then when would you put it? It always remains fresh. Yes. And would you put it in like a container and then it would just magically appear the next day? I'd have a lockable, I'd get a lockable case for it that only I knew how to do it. Yeah. And so I would dish up cake.

There was always cake, but I just wouldn't trust anybody with this cake. But don't you think people would start going, man, Dad's always making the exact same cake? Yes, but fuck them. Do they want cake or not? But the question is, what? It would be banana for me. Banana with lemon icing. Yeah, but you've got to be banana or carrot.

Yeah. Although you can't go wrong with a really decadent thick chocolate cake. No, you'd get sick of that. It's too much. It's too much. No, but that would be good to get sick of it and give it a little bit of time off. What about a ginger life? Completely, no.

Completely regenerate. Which is just a carrot cake without carrots in it, really. Yeah. It would give it full time to regenerate. Yeah. And you wouldn't just be going every day, you wouldn't be having cake. Because I'm not in the mood for chocolate today, so maybe like long. Now I want a regenerating cake.

So do I. I'm sad I don't have one. We all do. Can you make one on the Bake Off? Yeah, sure. I'll do it. This week on Bake Off, regenerating cakes.