ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 5th March 2024

Episode Date: March 4, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley read out some NSFW texts we received during our "Did your parent get with your partner?" Impossible Phoner today!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod Great things are brewing at McCafe The perfect start to every day Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod Now sometimes we do these slightly spicier pods And we forget to do the trigger warning Or like the content warning And so we've got to go back and do it

So consider this your content warning It's adults, adults content Yes You've got kids around probably. Not a great idea. Kick him out because we did a phoner today. The impossible phoner. The impossible phoner.

Have you hooked up with your parents' ex or vice versa? And a lot of the messages were a bit spicy for on air. Weren't they? Very spicy. So we just got a little treat for you. Don't we, Vaughn? We do. Last year of school. So you're talking your little treat for you, don't we Vaughn? We do. Last year of school,

so you're talking your seventh form, the 18 year olds, a girl bragged that one weekend she'd stolen her mum's boyfriend. He was in his early 20s, her mum was in her 40s. I know, we all said a lot of things at high school though,

didn't we? Talked a lot of shit. Did you used to love a big lie at high school? Yeah, oh my god, everyone would do it. What would you lie about? Oh, I've done this,

I've done this with this person. Yeah, right, and you hadn't done anything. No, you're not. Yeah, exactly. It was once everyone started doing stuff,

the last people would always be like, yeah, same, man. Blow jobs left, right, centre. Oh, I can't keep up with my BJ roster. Oh, really?

There was a BJ roster Oh yeah Yeah right okay And you're like Okay sure Margaret Oh Margaret I need a blank piece of paper A couple of these

Are going to require diagrams Oh yeah There's one that is just like Game of Thrones level Read it out slowly And we'll just kind of Do a diagram Oh JP's bringing me in A lined Legal paper But our listeners Jones level. Read it out slowly and we'll just kind of. Do a diagram.

Oh, JP's bringing me in a lined. Legal pad. But our listeners can't see the diagram. It's a journalist's notepad. Has he got thoughts and dreams and lyrics in there? He does. He writes down lyrics. It's quite cute. You're making my heart bleed.

My niece's mother, who is my ex-sister-in-law. Hang on, I'm already lost. Okay, my niece's mother. So this person ex-sister-in-law. Hang on, I'm already lost. Okay, my niece's mother. So this person was married to their brother. Okay. Yeah. Had a boyfriend and got pregnant in her teenage years. Okay.

Her then-boyfriend broke up with her, and she subsequently started an intimate relationship with my ex-sister-in-law's mother. No, I'm out. That didn't last, and she ended up shagging and then marrying my niece's paternal uncle. What the fuck? What? I...

I don't even know because they're using words like paternal. That's on the father's side. But anyway, she had a real taste for the family by the same time. Yeah, she was... She had the buffet. She had the family buffet. Why would she go anywhere else? Full buffet. My mother had a fling with the family by the sound of it. Yeah, she had the buffet. She had the family buffet. Why would she go anywhere else? Full buffet. My mother had a fling with my ex-husband.

This is his message. A fling? Have talked about this before. He did it for revenge after I left him. I don't speak to him or her anymore. Oh, so they split and then the mum was like, well, I'll have a little taste. I'll have a hoon. But then the husband was doing it as revenge because she'd left him.

Grow up. I don't want to go on air, but my sister dated my best friend's mother for many years and then later in life dates my straight best friend. So that is a woman who in her younger years slept with an older woman and then in her older years slept with a younger man. Wow. Oh, we've got quite a few bisexuals

taking part in the Impossible Finder today. And we welcome our bisexual listeners. We did read some of these on air. Did we do this one? Oh my God, yes. My cousin-in-law was dating a guy who went out with the mum.

The daughter fell pregnant. But we're all just going to pretend that it's not his baby. Yes, I think we did. Yes. Because I remember that we're going to pretend it's not their baby. Right. My partner's auntie was seeing a guy and they had a baby together. And then he left her for her younger sister.

Oh. And now they have a kid. So their kids are both cousins and siblings. Oh, half siblings, full cousins. That's not good. Yeah, but genetically, full siblings. Because, no. No.

Half siblings because they're the same. A sib-cous. Well, it's a bit like having an older Mazda and you upgrade for the younger version of the new Mazda. Right, you had a baby with the first Mazda. Yeah. You got a little mini Demio. Yeah, and then you have a Demio with your second Mazda. You had a baby with the first Mazda. You got a little mini Demio. And then you have a Demio with your second Mazda.

What are they? Really keeping it in the Mazda family there. Before me and my ex were together, so you're now saying before the relationship that's already ended by time of story told. Yep, thank you for the timeline. His sister's boyfriend at the time was over at their house for the party and their mum gave him a blowjob.

A blowjob. Oh, God. The amount of parents in these messages. I don't think mothers should be getting blowjobs. The amount of parents. Once you give birth, you stop giving blowjobs. Yes. Have some respect.

Out one hole, never in the other. Never. The amount of parents in these messages that are completely in the wrong. Fucking grow up. It's bad. Because I thought it would be more the kids saying, oh, yeah, I slept with my mum's ex or something. Yeah. Because, you know, the younger people were a bit more frivolous.

Easily influenced. But the parents. Yeah. Um, um, um. I'm just going to take a shot. I'm going to red heart this one. I love someone calling a BJ a down below hug. Slightly different.

I was at an event. So, slightly different. But let's give it a go. Okay. I was at an event and kept bumping into a handsome man. Slightly older than me. So, let's call him older man. Okay.

Quite fancied him, but he was married. Can you put married older man? Married. Okay. Okay. Quite fancied him, but he was married. Can you put married older man? Married. Okay. Okay. He's character one. Later in the evening, I bumped into him again and his son and his son's friends. Okay.

He has some. Yeah. And we ended up going home to bed. His son and I continued to hang out and drink way too much, and we hooked up. I felt awful. A few weeks later, he got in touch to say he was having issues in his marriage. So this is the dad.

We're back to the dad. She hooked up with son. Yep. A few weeks later, dad gets in touch. A few weeks later, she hears from an older man saying that he's having issues in his marriage and was thinking of leaving his wife and did I want to hang out. I was interested, but it was way too messy and the slight issue of his son. So, like, okay, I could have you, but I've already had your son.

You've already had your son. Yeah, but I'd eyed up you first. I don't know. I might have. You might have. Well, if I was already eyeing up slightly older married man. Also, I love that we're having issues in our marriage. It's like, you're not.

You're a horny. You're a horny. You're just a horny. You're horny, yeah. And you liked me in my dress at this event, didn't you? My old neighbor, so let's call her O-N for your diagram, for those doing diagrams at home, is engaged to her stepson. This is a draw along little bit apart.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So get a pen and pad. She's engaged to her stepson. So she was married to a man who brought the son in from a previous relationship. Yep. Stepson. Now she's married to the stepson. You can't do that.

I mean, you can. I've seen short pornographic films where there's a sexual encounter. You love those mini film fests. Yeah. He's a big patron of the arts. Huge patron of the arts. Oh, my God. I have a film feast most days.

Now the stepson and the mother have a child together. What? No, but they're not at all blood related. He was born into this relationship. And has the dad excommunicated them? Don't know. But I've never quite worked out, does that make the child the nephew of his half siblings?

Oh God, you don't ever want to be in a predicament like that if your family needs a diagram other than a tree with a couple of ringings every now and then but if the tree's jumping generations back up its own tree oh no trees have branches it's got coldy die back and it needs to be cut down before it spreads now did we read the one ahead of that a friend of mine had a threesome with a married couple no this is a good oh okay a friend of mine had a threesome with a married couple. No, we didn't. This is a good one. Oh, okay, go. A friend of mine had a threesome with a married couple. So the friend, the married couple. A few years later, it was just a one-off.

A few years later, she met a guy in another town, and they dated for a year, ended up getting engaged. Turns out, he was the son of the married couple. She had had a threesome with. Oh, what? Ah! Oh, my God, that's amazing. That is so juicy. Wait, so did they only find out at the engagement party? Well, I don't know. I don my God, that's amazing. That is so juicy.

Wait, so did they only find out at the engagement party? Well, I don't know. I don't know if that turns out. No follow-up. No follow-up. Did they go ahead with the marriage? Imagine getting married and then being like, I'd like you to meet my parents.

Oh, I've slept with them both at the same time. And then did the partner know they were even swingers? I don't know. Don't know. Like, there's so much you'd be learning there in that one. And did they keep it quiet? I don't know. Don't know. Like, there's so much you'd be learning there in that one. And did they keep it quiet? I don't know. Oh, my God.

I want to know more, but the time has passed. I knew this older guy who ended up in jail. So let's call him JB for jailbird. Yes. He's in jail. His girlfriend at the time then slept with his son. Well, he's in jail. He's in jail.

He's in jail. They haven't broken up, but she wants the next best thing. Genetically, that's got to be his offspring. Oh my god, keep reading. Son. So the girlfriend slept with the son. Then, the son left the girlfriend and slept with the girlfriend's daughter.

Okay. Who ended up being pregnant with him. Oh no. So now the original girlfriend is the grandmother of the youngest daughter's sibling. What the fuck? Okay, I can follow that along. That is wild. Girlfriend is the grandmother of the youngest daughter's... Oh, man, there's so many follow-up questions I have for these,

and we don't know the answer. God, that's so good, isn't it? Someone said, in New Zealand, it is illegal to marry your parent's spouse or your child's spouse, even if they're an ex-spouse. I don't know that that's true., isn't it? Someone said in New Zealand, it is illegal to marry your parent's spouse or your child's spouse, even if they're an ex-spouse. I don't know that that's true. So no, there is. Because when you go to births, deaths and marriages

to get your marriage certificate, it's like, do you and your wife or husband-to-be fit any of the following categories? Actually, yes, you're right. I should know this. And you've got to go through and do it. And I'm sure one of them weirdly is you can't, you can marry like your second

cousin. But you couldn't marry, if your mum had married a man, if my mum Patsy married a dude that wasn't my dad and then they got divorced, I couldn't marry that guy. No. Which is weird that you can then marry your second cousin. Yeah, even though me and my mum's ex-husband

aren't related and he's hot and we get on like a house on fire, we always had a spark and a connection. Yeah. Can't marry him. Unfortunately. We could be together though. Yes. You might have to move to some country that allows that.

Indonesia. I've got Indonesia. Someone messaged in, do not call me. Okay. A lot of these text messages are like, do not call me. But a guy I was seeing ghosted me over Christmas. So it's sort of an act of revenge. I slept with his twin brother.

And then a few weeks later, I slept with his dad. Oh, wow. How are these men so ready and available to sleep with? She must be hot or, like I said before, crazy disguised as hot. It's like we said during today's podcast when you were talking about girls buying guys drinks at bars. You don't need to try that hard. No, you really need to try that hard. You just say hello and you can just sleep with us pretty much.

Yeah. Wow. A guy was dating my mum and then he had a go with my sister. And now he's having kids with my cousin. He's been at family events for over 10 years in a variety of roles. He just won't leave. He loves a woman in that family though doesn't he? He really does. He just really genetically has something. It must be their pheromones. It must be the

genetic pheromones they're putting out there. So there you go. It's We thought, and that's just New Zealand. Yes. And you said at the start, then you said, oh I don't know if this will work. Because I don't know anyone where this has happened, but this is, that was honestly it was juicy and i liked it and we appreciate your messages and not only is it only new zealand that's only the portion of new zealand that

chooses to listen to our radio program live on a tuesday morning yeah so you're going to imagine if you're timesing that by oh my lord increases exponentially and we are far from the trashiest radio station this country has ever had. Oh yeah, exactly. We'd like to distance ourselves from that title. Far from it!