ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 7th January 2024

Episode Date: January 6, 2024

This episode contains explicit content & themes, and is definitely not one for younger listeners!On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Morgan Penn pops in to discuss the best way to bring up Pegging...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bitter Pod Enjoy a refreshing McCafe iced coffee available only from Macca's Great things are brewing Welcome to A Little Bitter Pod and today may not be for younger ears Definitely not for younger ears I'm 42 and I felt like I was just a little bit too young for some of it Welcome to A Little Bitter Pod and the Big Pod and the live show is back on the 15th of January. I'd sooner die.

And, um... Bourne, stop. He's corrupted me. Not if the world ends. See you in hell. Somatic sexologist and dear friend of the show, Morgan Penn is in studio. It's a treat to be here.

I'm loving these little bit of pods. Yeah, me too, me too, too actually A glass of water's just arrived She likes to hydrate Very educational Very educational indeed I might also hydrate In this moment of joint hydration I didn't have any water here

Cheers Oh well Now these are questions that You the lovely podcast listener And listeners have messaged into us And we're slowly working our way through them Have we said that this is not for little ears This time around?

Not for little ears Big ears Yeah big Not for little ears, big ears. This is probably, yeah, big ears, fine little ears. Younger ears we should say. Unless someone just recently got an ear transplant and they got some kids ears but they're an adult, they're allowed to listen. They can listen. Not for young minds. No. Wait, would the kid ears grow to be a human ear?

Ears grow until we die, right? They keep growing. Yeah. Yeah, but if you got A kid ear transplant Say a two year old's ear On a 50 year old's body That'd be pretty weird By the time

The 50 year old was 60 Would those ears be 12 I don't actually know And they're like You're not my real ears Morgan's upset by this Why do you not like Transplant talk

It's really creeping me out Yeah okay I don't know what that is about You're talking about Anything sexual And deviant Splurty splurty Is there a part of the body That you can't imagine Being part of I don't know what that is about. You're talking about anything sexual and deviant. Splurty splurties.

Is there a part of the body that you can't imagine being part of sexy times? Give us some examples of a body part and see if Morgan could figure out how it could be used in a sexual context. Belly button. Arm put. Totally can because it's like a tickle zone. Yeah, yeah. I was going to say elbow, but then the inside of the elbow is very clean. Belly button. Armpit totally can because it's like a tickle zone. Yeah, yeah. I was going to say elbow, but then the inside of the elbow is very clean. What about between the fingers?

What about this little pinchy bit here? The fingers are like the second biggest erogenous zone on the body. So actually those in between are good. Yeah, yeah. I would have thought what to use or to actually touch. Touch. Oh. Okay.

If you slowly like touch your fingers, it is. Oh, 100% Touch. Oh. Okay. If you slowly, like, touch your fingers, it is... Oh, 100% true. Oh, my God. Yeah, absolutely. We're second only to, like, a couple of other creatures that have got more... God, you're good. What about... That's hot, actually.

What about my little double chin? Your little... You're working really hard to get that. No, no. If you get a dick in there. Do you reckon you can get a dick in there? Oh, my God, this guy. Like a neck job.

It's like cleavage, but just the other way. Not like that, it's not. No, I couldn't look you in the eye. It would have to be a skinny long dick. Skinny dick, skinny long dick and bigger turkey neck. Yeah. Well, we couldn't find a money car. We just couldn't do it.

We did it. We couldn't find a spot on the money that could be used for some sort of sexual... God. Oh my God. Okay. It's silly, but we have... Let's put aside the silliness and get back to some education. Some questions from our listeners, Morgan.

Are you ready? Yes. What is the best way to bring up... Wow. What is the best way to bring up the conversation of pegging? First of all, we'll ask you for a definition of pegging. Okay. Pegging is the act of penetrating the prostate using a strap-on. And is that for anyone? Anyone's butt?

A woman could peg another woman and there's no prostate involved there. Well, actually, it was lesbians that started this to be fair Oh! I thought it was the heteros But the man being like I'd like a little bit in the bum Well it was Strap-ons were designed for lesbians To be able to penetrate each other vaginally

And then it's moved into of course the heteros Wanted a piece of the pie And then once we started Realising that prostates were an absolute pleasure center hiding in the asshole of men, this is where pegging has really taken off. So everyone can peg, but it's not using a penis. It's using a device of sorts.

That's right. Yeah. Okay, so how does... This question, I'd like to know whether or not it's the person who wants to be pegged or the person who wants to peg. Well, let's look at both sides. Because I imagine those are different are different conversations to have yeah like i want to give it to you or i want to get it from you yeah yeah so how could this person how would you even bring that up if

that has not been part of your sexual landscape yeah well i guess i guess for me and this is what i would love people to kind of take away from this if you're even if you're not into pegging right but you're into sex it's like if we can just normalize having sexual conversations about desires, fantasies what we're liking just normalizing it we never have to have these big

kind of like oh god I'm liking something and I have to now ask and bring it to the table you know we've only been having missionary sex our whole life and now this is going to just blow them out of the water

the king of positions though oh we all agree missionary rules You know, we've only been having missionary sex our whole life, and now this is going to just blow them out of the water. The king of positions, though. Oh, we all agree. Missionary rules. I'm not going to argue that. Yeah, absolutely. Missionary rules. Yeah, yeah. I was thinking, what if someone's listening right now?

This could be the predicament. They find themselves and they're listening with their partner. So if you're listening and you're like, what a pig or bee pig, you could just, like, look at each other now, and one of you could just, whoever wants to, could wink. Sure. And then we've started the conversation. And then we've started the conversation.

Or walk out to the washing line, get a peg, and just hold it up. Yes. No, I like that. If you could clip a peg on their pillow. Yep, subtle. Again, nice. I'll see the peg on the pillow. But how do you bring it up?

Yeah, how do you bring it up? Yeah, how do you really? We hop into bed. We hop into bed. And this was also a question we got just generally as well. Like, I like these things. How do I bring it up? Oh, I think I might like them. How do I bring it up to my partner that I want this or that?

I think a really smooth way is to talk about fantasies so that it's not necessarily like something you definitely want to actualize but sometimes i think about yeah or what do you what do you fantasize about like ask them like get them curious and into the conversation sharing some things and then that's where you can say i i'm actually getting kind of excited and thinking about pegging and i think what's hard about this especially for the person being pegged which would be in this situation and in this vaughn typical if we were using an example if we're using vaughn's asshole as an example oh yeah it's a bit raw he's had a three-day curry

and we have been hearing about it all morning for the first time pegging yes certainly no no and actually that's a good point. Like, sometimes it is about preparation and the fear of, like, what's going to be found in there. And, like, people freak out about poo. And, you know, people aren't educated that there's not just poo just sitting there in the rectum all the time. Yeah, just waiting to come out. Yeah. But also, you know, we're working with a lot of men who, unfortunately, there is a little bit of internalized homophobia about butt sex thinking that that's

only for gay men yeah and it's not like at all this is a pleasure dome and if you're not experiencing it or at least giving yourself the opportunity to explore it like you are missing out so it would be about talking through the barriers or fears that are there and being like what can we do to alleviate that and watch a little porn together yeah do you know what i mean if you were like maybe maybe needed to see a little bit of it yes yes you'd have to sort of curate because i'm sure some of it's pretty like a bit rough and rugged a bit rough and rugged like picky categories but i wonder if that could help to see it and be like it's actually really hot yeah i've had a girlfriend who has just been

like this since the day we were sexually active which is if a guy ever wanted to have anal sex with her she wanted to have anal sex with them first oh wow you need to know what that feels like yeah wasn't that a sex in the city thing was it wasn't there not not that um samantha one said that she would she would he The guy had to taste his... Right, yeah, okay. ...jizz before she would. She would give him a blowjob. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right, interesting. Wow. Well, that's very interesting. So, again, it's about sort of gently bringing it up in conversation. Yes, gently. And also, like, I think people think that it's going to be this huge, big strap-on. There are some really nice, little...

Dainty. ...discrete, dainty things. Sometimes it's not. Yeah, it's not. That's what big strap-on. There are some really nice little discreet dainty things. Sometimes it's not. Yeah, it's not. That's what I mean by pick your porn wisely. You don't want a monster getting in there like, I can't do that. Yeah, go and peruse the sex toy store,

like online stores to see what's out there because you can even get these little panties that have just got like this little dildo coming through. So, you know, there's things out there for pegging beginners for sure. Okay, love that. We'll just take a break before our next question. And we are back with sexologist, somatic sexologist, Morgan Penn.

And we've just been talking about pegging. From pegging to? From pegging to a sort of fetish world. How can I tell my partner about a fetish I'm interested in exploring? I mean, we kind of talked about this a little bit about bringing up, you know, fantasies and whatnot. But what if it's something kind of really out there? Yeah. And this happens.

And I actually coach a lot of people through these kind of moments. And something I'm seeing as a trend, I you know I just I'm gonna actually say it to kind of normalize it a little bit is the baby you know when people want to be put in diapers and stuff yeah right and be fed and soothed and breastfed yep yep all sorts of stuff like that and um what's interesting is that I think let's define why well? Well, don't yuck somebody's young. That's why I'm asking, like, why? What's the origins of this? Did they not get loved?

It would be hard to say what's the origins of any kind of fetish, would it? Well, there's always a psychological piece. And there's something that's happening there with their core erotic theme. So when their sort of sexual body is coming into, like, their formative sexual years, something has happened to kind of shape what they do like I'd say when Freud would have a bloody

field day wouldn't he so what are you finding they're coming up against when they're expressing this like how because I would go for me immediately and again I'm like you I'm not trying to yuck someone's yum but I would go for me immediately, and again, I'm like you, I'm not trying to yuck someone's yum, but I would be like, no.

That's not my idea of a nice sexy tie. But your big six foot, nearly seven foot Aaron would look quite cute in some diapers. He would look gorgeous. A baby bonnet. But I don't have a mummy thing. I don't want to be the mummy. Yeah.

So this is an interesting point because there's a difference between a fetish and a fantasy. So a fantasy is like something you really kind of might turn you on in the mind and maybe one day you might act it out. A fetish is almost like you are reliant on that for getting off. That has become a core piece that you know turns you on. And so I think that we need to support each other in these realms. So say if you weren't willing to do that for Aaron, but he, it's a need, a sexual need, then maybe it's about actually employing someone to do that for him. And unfortunately with these kind of things, if you don't actually have the opportunity

or a safe place to go and do it, it kind of consumes your mind. And so sometimes you need to experience it to know whether or not you're actually into it that's a really good way of thinking about it about going like okay well how can we make this happen in a way that is good for both of us i don't want a bar of it but i'm not going to say that you can't explore this yeah am i open enough to let you explore this in a different way that doesn't involve me yeah and if very mature yes and it is hard i'm not saying that these kind of things are easy but what i would say is like yeah have a session with someone like me or a sex therapist or a psychologist to kind of get your own head around it so that you aren't filled with shame because i think that's what's really damaging to these things as well you need to be able to feel in a place where you feel

relatively comfortable in owning it so that you can share and educate with your partner because they'll have questions. I bet they will. Well, Morgan, another great answer. She's full of wisdom, isn't she? So much wisdom. If you have not already, binge Sex.Life Season 1, your adventures at a rural New Zealand Underground sex school

And there's a new Season 2 coming out With all new adventures Which we know A little bit about And we're excited about That'll be sometime This year

Yeah thanks for chatting Morgan 24 Thank you so much Such a treat To be here with you