ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 7th November 2024

Episode Date: November 7, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Country boy Vaughan had a sleepover in the big city! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fleshwood and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod and just a reminder you have until Monday the 4th of December to get your shoutouts in for our Christmas cocktail special. ZM Online. Zmonline.com slash cocktail special for the link. Now recently I had a ball scan.

This isn't the main reason I took, but I will touch on the ball scan because I believe I've got messages from guys being like, I've been suffering kind of like from sore testicles and I'm going through the process of getting them checked out and stuff and it's nice hearing you talk about them because I can't talk to my mates about it. Oh, my God. Why not? There's still a bit of a stigma.

A stigma? A stigma. No, that's what my kids say. What, the stigma? There's still a stigma. Jesus, you're moving around the kids too much. I know. I dropped the T from stigma.

There's a bit of a stigma. There's still- I would have thought it was gone. Mitsubishi Sigma. Mitsubishi Sigma V3000. Yeah. Wonderful car. I would have thought it was gone, but no, apparently still around.

You can joke About your mates balls And his dick And be like You got a small dick And your funny looking dick And I got a funny looking dick All the time about dicks

Dicks I know you do All the time Dick this Dick that We talk about dicks All the time We talk about dicks

24 7 But when it's A serious matter A health issue Maybe not as much Oh my god You must I had sore testicles

I still have but i've done all that i've had blood tests i've had um i even had an ultrasound yeah that's right that was quite nice now now is everybody now the trim we need to talk about the pubes oh yeah that's right because this was a question i brought this up to the doctors i was with now you don't want a sex ready dick going we all agreed when you're about to get the sick you do want a sex-ready dick. We all agreed when you're about to get in the scene, you do want a sex-ready dick. That's right. I think my dick was slightly on the sex-ready side of things. Okay, so you went good trim. But we agreed, didn't we? A three above the penis and a shaved ball

because the balls were getting ultrasounded. So I was like... And trimming balls is hard because there's so much wrinkly skin. You've got to pull and you'll catch it on the knicker. It's almost a two-person job. Some people shave with a blade. I'm not. I do.

I'll just do a trim no that's what I always do the balls because I can't get the trimmer doesn't work well on the balls it's too much it's like trying to

shave a raisin you've got to get a better trimmer I do I'll tell you the trimmer I've got is it a specific ball trimmer or is it just the heads

it's kind of like no it's just an all over trimmer could you dip the balls in a depilatory cream absolutely not okay no don't be silly they're two cents enough no hell no don't put that stuff anywhere in here okay okay well I don't know what so I shaved the balls in a depilatory cream? Absolutely not. Okay. No, don't be silly. They're two cents enough.

No, hell no. Don't put that stuff anywhere near us. Okay, okay. Well, I don't know why. So I shaved the balls and clippered the top. I did a three. The three wasn't, like, short enough. Still felt pubic.

Because of the shaved balls, the contrast was a lot. Yeah, yeah, right. So I went for a two. Did you fade to a two? I did a fade. I did a crisp fade. No, I did a two, shave balls. Nailed it.

Nailed it. Good stuff. Did the sonographer give you a compliment? No. Okay. Did he say anything about your dick? Despite my anxieties about the entire thing, he did not compliment nor would he have shamed my dick

should it have been in full pube condition. Question. Do you get a guy or a girl if you're getting genitals sonographed? Completely. I was just like, give me the next possible appointment. I don't care who it's with. This is where I live. This is where I work.

It can be any clinic in between. Yeah. So that's why they said one by work. But then we were taking Friday off because of the heafy. Yeah. So I stayed at your place. Yes. But I got an older gentleman.

Okay. So he said to me, I've seen a lot of these. As he was fondling my balls. Oh, just balls in general. Just balls in general. Oh, yeah. I love it when a gynecologist says that. I've seen a lot of these and he's like, oh, no.

I'm not actually looking at your vulva. No. I'm so uninterested in any of that. Yeah. That you're worried about that you've got an ingrown hair. And she's like, I couldn't care. He measured my balls. How big? How big we got? I'm so uninterested in any of that. That you're worried about that you've got an ingrown hair. And she's like, I couldn't care less. He measured my balls.

How big? So when they do the ultrasound, when they do the baby, they measure the baby's length and they're like, you're this far along. And all the babies in this whatever percentile. How big are your balls? Five centimetres by 2.2. Is this the testy inside the sack?

Yeah, yeah. This is an individual and they're the same size. Wow. You've got matching balls.. You got matching balls. I got matching balls. My brother. Pretty stoked on that. Congrats.

And it even came up at one stage, the displacement, meaning if I was to dip that ball into a full glass of water, how much water would spill over the side? Oh, my God. Like volume. Volume of the testy. Okay. Fantastic.

So then he did both the balls. He did the tubes. He checked for hernias, which apparently you can get these hernias quite close to the penis. Oh, okay. Not like the bigger abdominal wall hernia. It's got a name in something else, hernia. He said, I didn't have that. Check the cords.

He's like, the cord's good. Check the blood flow. Clipped it to this other thing, and he's like, the blood's going through there. He's like, that's sweet ass. That's good. You got good blood flow. Does that mean good erections? But you got good blood flow down there?

Well, I guess, I don't know. It's in the neighbor, isn't it? Hell yeah. It's a neighbor to it all. But he's like, Fletch has just squirted all over me at the talk of good erections. He's been a Kiwi friend and he's squirted on you. And he just squirted everywhere. And so, yeah, the balls are good.

The mystery continues. Wait, did he run the length of the shaft? That was what we wanted to know. Nah. Okay. Didn't touch the balls are good. The mystery continues. Wait, did he run the length of the shaft? That was what we wanted to know. Nah. Okay. Didn't touch the shaft. Or did he move it to the side? So what's happening then?

Tuck the shaft up and then put a towel. He told me to do that. I put the towel, and then another towel, and he pulled that towel only down to expose the balls. Okay. I've got a feeling it's related to my lower back pain. And it's what they call it where it projects the pain to somewhere else there's a whole bunch of nerve endings at the bottom of the back right i've had a sore back for years and i think i've done something and it's just shot it

down to the balls something's pinching and yeah because it's kind of all like when you stretch you can kind of feel a bit of anyway a fucking doctor now is he but anyway so what are you going to get your back looked at yeah I am I'm going to go get that fiddled with do the process because you can't go through life with sore balls I couldn't no no it's horrible I'll do my best to get rid of the the night before the ball scan

because they said the nearest appointment is the one right by your work at 8.30 on Friday and I was like I'm not working and traffic getting in from my place I checked it on Thursday before it was an hour and a half journey I'm not working. And traffic getting in from my place, I checked it on Thursday before. It was an hour and a half journey. I was like, I'm not sitting in traffic for an hour and a half.

That's fucking bananas. Nuts. People do that every day. That is why I was coming in to get scanned. You bet. The nuts. So I said to Fletch, can I stay at your place? Because you were away. You were off to do the trail. Big Heart of James was house sitting. But you said absolutely there's a spare bed. So me and Big Heart of James had a sleepover. Fun. Just the two of you. Yeah. But you said absolutely there's a spare bed. So I am.

Man, Big Heart of James had a sleepover. Fun. Just the two of you. Yeah. We just hung on your couch. It was so funny because I had reception. That was the night before the hike. And Vaughan was just enthralled by city life.

I know. I was like, what are you just. Oh my God, there's so much happening. It's. It was wild. It was light the entire time outside. Because of street lights and stuff Yeah

Yeah I'd keep waking up and I'd be like Oh the sun's come up Shut up It's a giant electronic billboard outside Yeah It lights up your whole neighbourhood Yeah

And the noise Constant noise Yeah Constant rumblings It's a city All 7 in the morning when I woke up I think I got out of bed at like 6.30 Made myself a coffee

I sat at the window And I just watched people go about their mornings Yeah it's good fun Where are all these people going at 6.30 in the morning when I woke up I think I got out of bed at like 6.30 I made myself a coffee I sat at the window And I just watched people go about their mornings Yeah it's good fun Where are all these people going at 6.30 in the morning I saw one guy I think I sent you guys the video He jumped out of an Uber And then walked right in front of the Uber

And then crossed the road with a beer in his hand I was like he's been out all night All night That mad bastard Yeah it's the city Is he coming home Is he going straight to work Wild

It's wild isn't it How's he going to pull together his Friday? Yeah, it's different. It's going to be a write-off. But yeah, I was just amazed. What a great and fun sleepover with Big Hearted James. It was. Sawballs Vaughan.

Yeah, sawballs. Couple of drinks from the drinks trolley. Oh, where did you go to? I always like to open an expensive-looking gin when I'm at Fletcher's. Oh, no, we went for, we did sipping tequilas. Oh, lovely. Yeah, that was quite nice. Not like the shots of cocktailscher's. Oh, no, we went for, we did sipping tequilas. Oh, lovely. Yeah, that was quite nice. Not like the shots of cocktails.

Right. We were classy and we sipped. Well, you're welcome. We sipped it. But yeah, thank you for the accommodation. Do I need to wash the sheets or can I just? No, I had a wank before I came. So you don't have to worry about that.

Well, Hayley's probably more likely to use that bed next. Oh, well, that's fine. I'll have a wank as well. Oh, can everybody have respect for my linen? James was very, questioning me a lot about what time I was going to arrive. Yeah, maybe he had plans in the other room. And I was like, you do what you need to do.

And yeah, but then he said, he just needed me to help him move his car because he'd had too many drinks after work. Oh, right. And so I drove the, he was impressed I could drive a manual. I'm like really all the people you know you're impressed i can drive a manual yeah anyway it was fun city is crazy right noisy it's busy the ball's still here the ball the ball's not as bad but the balls are still there