ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 8th July 2023

Episode Date: July 7, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Hayley needs to practice her American accentSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Download the MyMaccas app and use your points towards a coffee. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. The Big Pod and the show will be back July 17. Twenty twenty four. Stop. Let's go.

Let's take a year off. Let's take a year off. Let's take a year off. And it is fully paid. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

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Let's go. Okay, now we're coming back soon. I've got an audition today. The details of which I cannot tell you. God, I wish we could, though. Because it's highly confidential. Well, how would you know? I also haven't told you. Oh, no, neither. Yeah. I mean, what?

I don't know. It's to play Webley Duck in the real-life DuckTales. Webley Duck? Me? Yeah. Is it Wembley? Huey, Dewey, and Louie. Yeah, but they had the female cousin.

Oh, female duck on DuckTales. Shenequa. Shh, Della Duck. Sheneyna. No, no, no, not Della Duck. That definitely wasn't Della Duck. Webby. Yeah, Webby.

Webby. Webby, not Wembley. Guys, we can't give the details. Okay, so for my audition for Webby today, I have to do an American accent. Famously. Did you do the story of this webby duck? No. She was a genetic creation made out of

Uncle Scrooge's DNA then raised as somebody else's granddaughter. Where the fuck was that storyline? She's like... I don't remember that. That must have been the rebooted DuckTales story. But you've got to know this about the character that you're... Wait, so he didn't want her and

then she was like fostered. Or somebody stole Scrooge's DNA. Oh. Obviously, because of feather. Because that sort of nonce can't be taught. That's ingrained. That's Scottish nonce. Yeah.

And so they cloned him, but made him a female. Okay. Well, that's not a clone then, is it? No. You're taking majority DNA. And then changing. What is clone then, is it? No. You're taking majority DNA. And then changing. What is gender? It's a construct anyway.

Anyway, this audition for Webby Duck today is an American accent, and it's my worst accent. I don't know why at drama school I was always good at all the British ones and maybe some Scottish ones and Australian and a whole bunch of ones I'm so good at that I can't do. But you want that neutral American accent that all Kiwis, you're Anthony Starrs, you're Carlo Barnes. Yeah.

Kim Crossman is so good at the neutral because for me I'm like, I either go to Lake California. Valley girl. Local fry. Or like I'm like in a mob. Hey, get out of here. Valley girl. Local fry. Or like I'm like in a mob. Hey. Hey. Get out of here.

I know. And so it's just bad because there's some stakes on this audition. I really want the job. Yeah. But every time I say it, what was one of the words? And I was like, morbid. Morbid. Morbid. I couldn't get the pronunciation of it.

So have you been learning your lines? No, I'm really good at learning lines, so I do it quite quickly. I've just been more watching a lot of American stuff and trying my best. Give me a sentence and I'll do it. Okay, well, let's do a scene. We are in a diner and you're the waitress. Not to typecast or anything or stereotype. Am I wearing a tiny little short skirt?

Yeah. And I'm on roller skates. Vaughn and I are best friends Holidaying in America from New Zealand Okay And it's our first time in a diner Okay, are you guys going to do American as well? No, we're holidaying from New Zealand Oh God, but now I'm doing American against an accent I'm more familiar with

It's harder Yeah, this is harder We could be Australians if that would make you Hello Wait, are you on rollerblades? Yeah Roller skates Okay Wait, are you on rollerblades? Yeah, we established this Roller skates

Okay Hello boys Hello there Hello Ooh, where's your accent from, hottie? We are from New Zealand, thank you Oh my god, I love the Kiwis Yeah

Oh my god And the Maori I love the culture of the Maori Yep Yep Because whenever it says it It's correcting anything You just

You don't You don't see You don't Yeah Okay What do you want to order? Order Eggs Benedict please

What? I can't understand your funny It's gone It's gone I can't understand your funny It's so bad Too many R's And you know the thing with American accents

Is they move their mouth Yeah So much more than we do If we talk New Zealand We go like this And our mouth is like Barely moving at all And what are you going to do?

Well they said that You can prepare it In an alternative accent We'll just do Californian then Do Scottish And you get into it You know how every accent Has like a line

That you say to get into the accent Yes And Scottish is That's not how you make porridge And then you're there Oh wow You're good at the Scottish Fletcher you good at any accents?

No He does it pretty good Oh my god his shopkeeper No The best is Do the Irish It's Indian Do the Irish

No because they all end up Oh no Do Irish Don't do accents I don't do accents He stopped doing accents a few years ago Because he didn't want to get cancelled I taught I saw some potatoes

No that's terrible Oh I taught I saw a couple of potatoes Twas a turd Saundred We welcome Jesus back to earth Back to earth Back to earth Oh that's good Yeah

That's good Do you want to do this audition? As an Irish man Not an American woman Can you just at the start of the audition say I've moved from Ireland Or I've moved from New Zealand Yeah

They specifically said no New Zealand No Australia South African? Right Sorry I'm late at the podcast Yes You'll know Australia. Oh, okay. South African? Right, yeah. You're right. Sorry I'm late at the podcast. Yes, of course. Are you catering here shit?

Oh, my God. And I feel like a bit crook. I had some terrible prawns. No, not nearly enough bloody meat. Oh, no. Well, good luck. Thanks. I'm going to burn.