ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 8th June 2024

Episode Date: June 7, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Aaron's questionable Snack Choices!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod Great things are brewing at McCafe The perfect start to every day Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod And God Save the Queen What are you going to eat during this? I'm fine with it I'm fine with it

I'm off the clock, bitch You are not, you are on the clock It's half to nine You are on the clock We're actually contracted for a 40 hour week So I'll pick up my 40 hours We're going to cram it if you're off the clock. We're actually contracted for a 40-hour week. I'll pick up my 40 hours.

We're going to cram it if you're off the clock already. Three minutes after the show. Playing with yourself at home is not technically on the clock. That's on the clock. I'm going to know what all these kids are talking about. Oh, my God. I've got to be down with it. Stop eating and talking, please.

It's fine. I apologise to the listeners. Now, do you know what? I'm really busy at the moment. And I say at the moment, I mean the last five years. Yep. Just got to get through to Christmas. I've just got to get through to Christmas.

2028. 2028. I just get to my 40th and I can get that out of the way and then I can start living my life. I'm filming in the days into the evenings. What are you filming? Porn. Can't say, oh, porn. I'm sorry.

Oh, my God, I've let it out of the bag. That's why I was researching. I was telling you. Can you seriously not say? I thought everybody knew. No. No. Oh, okay.

No, no, it's not announced. I've been telling everybody what you've been filming. Have you? Yeah. No, you're not allowed to know. Oh, sorry. But also, they're inviting audience to these things yeah you're telling me the audience isn't like oh i'm going off to the filming off guys i'm the new hot doctor on shortland street

oh yuck there's a little fruit fly in here oh he's coming my way my problem now it's not shortland street but it is exciting it is exciting. It is exciting. Anyway, it is exciting, but I've got busy days at the moment and I have failed to calendar time to look after myself.

And so Aaron said, oh, can I get you some nice healthy snacks, you know, for when you're on the go because dinner times get a bit weird. I was like,

that'd be great. Get me some carrots and hummus. I said a bit of fruit. Yep. And I think that's all I said. And I said, I'll maybe have some, you know, bread at home so that when I get home really late, if I want some toast, I can have a quick little toast. Yep.

I get home. And he's, okay, where do I start? He's bought bread. Great. Thank you. What kind of bread has he bought? Just like a beautiful, literally a ploughman's, a loaf of ploughman's. Wow. He's a company man. He's a company man. You's bought bread. Great. Thank you. What kind of bread has he bought? Just like a beautiful literally a ploughman's. A loaf of ploughman's. Wow. He's a company man. He's a company man.

You are the spokesperson. I am. So there's a nice grainy loaf of bread. He bought some jam and I was like great. I love a bit of jam. I can have peanut butter jam. I can have jam and cheese. I can have whatever. That's that sorted from a little midnight snacks. Then I asked for fruit.

He got pears. He got some for fruit. He got pears. He got some pears. Nobody buys pears. Literally hard as rocks. Yeah, you've got to... Pulled them out of the bag and said... I don't fuck with pears. I don't fuck with pears.

I don't fuck with pears. We've been together 13 years. He knows I don't fuck with pears. You've got to get a pear that's ready to go, though. My dude, this will kill a man in his stride. Nashi pear or a bosh uh nashi but it is so hard and then it's sweet boy he just goes i reckon a couple of days out on the windowsill they'll be ready sweetie no i love that then he's bought me two apples yeah now

we're really passionate about apples in the studio this might not come across on here but we're really passionate every day fletch studio. This might not come across on here, but we're really passionate. Every day, Fletch brings in a beautiful apple. Always well selected. Always well selected. Always. We're usually hitting for your roses, your Pacific roses. And me and Vonna each allowed a slice.

Yeah. And we really look forward to that time. It's a good slice. So I saw the apples and I thought, fantastic. He's brought like flower, the most flowery. I cut it up for us to share yeah you were how flowery was that you're embarrassed like the most powdery i could bake a cake that was so fucking flowery then he bought um two small little snack bars like that i was like oh that's gone now and then he bought there's something else i bought green bananas which i like And then he bought, there's something else. He bought green bananas, which I like.

Yeah. Then he bought freeze-dried nectarines. Why? You know those bags that have freeze-dried raspberries and stuff that you put in baking and stuff? Yeah, yeah. Or cocktails. You use to decorate a cake or to burn cocktails.

Yeah. He's bought a really large bag Of freeze dried nectarines Why? To snack on And they're like crunching They're freeze dried They're not dehydrated They're actually freeze dried

He bought me dust nectarines And it was such a rogue choice Of like get a bag of fucking nuts Bro get some chips This is a problem you've mummed him too much He doesn't even cook He doesn't understand food anymore Like get a bag of fucking nuts bro Get some chips This is a problem You've mummed him too much I have man He doesn't even cook He doesn't even

Supermarket shop No The freeze dried nectarines Oh eat them They'll be delicious But where does that Boy's brain go Do you have to put it

All in your mouth once Or if you bite it It just like blows itself I think it'll just blow apart You can put the whole thing in Yeah I've got some nectarine dust What is he having for Dinner while you're away all these nights?

Toast. Oh, my God. What does he put on the toast? Now jam. We've got a fresh pot of jam, bitch. And maybe some nectarines. Some fresh dried nectarines. The boy's going to get scurvy.

The boy is going to get scurvy. That's why when I'm cooking, I'm trying to get as much vegetables into it as possible because the boy won't vegetable. Oh my god, I worry about him. I told him to get carrots for the hummus ones. Not this time he got real legitimate cheap from the earth carrots but I told him I want carrots and hummus

ones and he got those like baby fancy carrots that you definitely only roast. I was like, those aren't snacking carrots. You mean the ones that have been like shaved down. No, no, no. I'm aren't snacking carrots. You mean the ones that have been like... Shaved down. Shaved down. No, no, no. I'm talking about proper baby carrots. Not the ones that have been processed.

Because those are just cuts of big carrots and they water blast them. And then chlorinate them? No, not those. I've seen a video on how they're made. It's bad. Anyway, I'm not trying to sound ungrateful, but freeze-dried nectarines is a fucking rogue snack. You've created this monster. I think you need to retrain.

There's some retraining when you've got some time. Yeah, when I've got time, I'll retrain a 42-year-old man on how to survive as an adult.