ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 9th December 2023

Episode Date: December 8, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Fletch has a Couch Conundrum!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. Now I think in 2024, something that I must do is get a new couch. Yes and no. Oh my god. Yes and no. Yeah. Now, the couch is... In tatters.

In... it's fucked. Do you know what, though? You haven't... You've fucked up here because you haven't... Yeah, I know. ...taught your cat not to claw. Rolly doesn't claw our furniture.

The moment he... If the moment he even puts a claw into a rug, he gets a... And he's done. Yeah, I know. So why get a new couch when your cat still exists? So, okay, so this morning

I'm cleaning out the litter box and there's my cat does, you've seen my cat's giant poo. Human-sized shit. He does human-sized shits. And there was a human-sized shit in there, but there was also a giant string from the couch hanging out of that giant shit. Yeah.

And I was like, oh no, now he's, because it can be really dangerous when cats eat like string and because it can get caught in intestines and the bits. And I was like, and then I looked at the couch and I was like, well, I'll just cut off all the stringy bits. And then I was like, well, there'll be nothing left of the couch because it's all just stringy. Like it is fucked. He's really disoriented. But the only thing is, one, you're going to buy a new couch and he's going to ruin it.

So you need to buy knowing that. But two, it's comfy. I know, I know. That's the thing. I've got the most comfortable couch. I slept on it recently for a couple of nights in a row. Heaven. Do you know why it's bad for the back? Oh, I don't have a bad back. Okay, gotcha. It's maybe bad for you.

Why though? It's got, it's stuffed with like feathers and stuff. Yeah, I know. Oh, that'll be right. Plundering the geese. Plundering the geese. He's plundered the poultry. How many geese had to die for him to have this couch? I didn't even know because it's really nice and cosy in winter, but then in summer it gets pretty hot.

Pretty hot, yeah. I've plundered geese. As a man who once had, and stands by the fact, the comfiest couch, and then Sade's like, it doesn't go with the new lounge. It didn't, but it was so comfortable. It was so comfortable. And then we've got these absolutely abhorrent, It doesn't go with the new lounge. It didn't, but it was so comfortable. It was so comfortable.

And then we got these absolutely abhorrent Scandi design, shitty, uncomfortable couches. Yeah, they're never comfortable Scandi couches. They look nice, though. When you go to your house, they look nice. No, the ones we've got now are good because then we moved house and those ones were too small for the space. So the ones we've got now, slap. Yeah, they're great.

Still not as comfortable as the brown one with the shaft. They're not slouchy, but they're comfortable. Yeah. Yeah. So the ones we've got now, slap. Yeah, they're great. They're great. Still not as comfortable as the brown one with the- They're not slouchy, but they're comfortable. With the chassé. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I love a chassé. Yeah. Oh, I love a chassé.

I love a chassé. Really. If you get- You've got to get to the couch first. You've got to get the chassé. Yeah. You're actually housing my chassé at the moment. My couch.

Is that what's in there? I might open that box. No, please don't. And get out the chassé. Sade is very concerned. We've been kind enough to store Hayley and Aaron's couch. For like six months. Sade's so concerned that it's somehow got damp.

I'm like, it is a brand new garage. It's in the middle of the garage. It would be funny, though, if you open. There's airflow every day. It would be funny. There's no rodents in that garage. And this is why I trusted you to store it because I knew this was a high

end. I take storage very seriously. He's actually been using my couch as a divider wall between his cars and his toys basically. Yeah, you've been hiding stuff from Sade behind the couch. Yeah, toys. Look, you can't get a smaller couch because your couch

I mean the amount of orgies I've had on that couch. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? That's the thing. It'll have to be burned. It can't be given to the Salvation Army or it could cause some sort of spiritual collapse of the entire army. My friend yesterday was showing me. He's like, oh, I missed the gym because I was getting a new couch.

They were delivering the couch. And look at the orgy. This is the orgy couch they've got. That's a gay orgy couch. I love those couches. It's almost like a double bed with an adjacent couch. Is this our friend? Yes. God, they've got money. Yeah. Do I

know them? No. You don't know them? Looking at that couch. Wait, is there some gays I don't know? You don't know all the gays. I thought I knew all the gays. It's not a gaggle. They're not in the gaggle. They're not in the gaggle. They're not in the gaggle.

But I was just like, oh, my God, that couch is nice. How much does that couch cost? It doesn't even have a price here, but it would be. That means it's expensive. You would have to buy it on special, and even then, you'd probably need to win Lotto. But whatever couch I buy, yeah, I'm going to have to be prepared for it to be. It's going to be cat friendly. It's going to be friend sleeping on it friendly.

Although, maybe I just go, I turn into, you know, the mums, because mum does this at home. She puts down pillowcases because the cats sleep on the couch and she doesn't like all the hair. So then the couch looks ugly because it's just coloured in pillowcases, covered in pillowcases. That's what you've got to weigh up. Yeah.

This is like constantly someone's like, I want to keep it nice. So I'm not going to use it for its intended purpose because I want to keep it nice. You want to use it. But you want to be able to use it. I think I'm just going to throw. What are you keeping it nice so I'm not going to use it for its intended purpose because I want to keep it nice but you want to be able to use it I think I'm just going to throw

some throws over the bits that are fucked I think so and then just leave it how much is that couch

you could get one of those oh that's nice that's pretty nice that's linen is it an orgy couch though it's an orgy

it's big ass ask Vaughn he's bloody storing it I've been having a few orgies on it