ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 9th January 2024

Episode Date: January 8, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; We hear your confessions in our Naughty Lil Poll inbox!Today's Goss: Have you stolen something expensive?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bitter Pod Enjoy a refreshing McCafe iced coffee available only from Macca's Great things are brewing Welcome to A Little Bitter Pod And today it's an anonymous question that we asked you on Instagram It gets spicy, it gets spicy Like hot spicy Indian spicy

So if your mum's in the car and she can't handle white pepper This might not be for her. Or maybe she can listen to it by herself. Definitely not for little ears. No. Flash, fun and hailey's

naughty little pose. Naughty little pose. It is so naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty little pose. Naughty little pose.

Naughty little pose. Naughty little pose. Naughty little pose. Much better. Much Pole. Naughty Little Pole. Naughty Little Pole. Much better. Much better there. Good stuff, guys. Ever improving. Naughty Little Pole.

It's just for the podcast. It's completely anonymous. Let's hope it. Fuck. That's how you know it was never broadcast on air. Shit stuff. Bim hole. Bim hole.

Mia bim hole. I would never say that. That is a surefire way to test. I would never say that on FM broadcast. Absolutely not. Vaughan, what is today's silly, naughty little poll? Have you ever stolen something expensive? 95% of people have said no way. 5% however have said yes.

And let's meet that 5%. Because I was, I mean, I've obviously stolen stuff. Like the other day I had to tell you off because you stole a ream of April paper from work. And you were doing all right for yourself. You don't need to steal that. You can buy your own. And I said, Vaughn, please. What the fuck are you dropping me in it for, man?

The fuck are you dropping me in it for, man? You know that you put it back. The fuck are you doing now? Wow. Snitches get stitches, bitch. Fuck you, bitch. I've never stolen anything. Not a chocolate bar, nothing.

Really? Yep. The idea of my parents finding out was just too much. Really? Never stole anything. Oh, no, remember I used to steal one as a kid, but not from shops. I used to steal from other kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I never. That's still stealing. No, I never stole from like a retail. Right, okay. Or anything like that. Yeah, I stole heaps as a kid. I got busted because remember I tried to get a refund For that thing I'd shoplifted Yes

And the undercover lady Caught me Little shit He wanted the cash quib And the police lady In the police car Was like That was very smart

Is this your first time And I was like Yes You were in a police car Yeah Because they had to Take me down To like scare the shit out of me

That's really cool And then from there I was a model citizen Was it a Falcon Or like a Commodore Like one of those old 90s? One of those 90s. I don't know what it was.

Yeah, it would have been a Honda. Mine was a Honda. It was kind of exciting, but real scary. Have you been in the back of the police car? No. Nerd. Nerd. Oh.

Nerd. My dad took me to the police station once. That's right. He would sit you on the driveway. Parents used to do that, eh? And say, they're coming. They're coming. Go walk down the end of the driveway.

The police are coming to pick you up. You just walk down the driveway I mean that is some Fucking psychological Oh yeah You wouldn't know What that is You'd sit there

In a car with drive past And then brake And then reverse up And be like Dark Little kid sitting On the side of the road They're like some lollies

Are you okay And you'd be like Oh what a little place They're gonna get me Oh yeah You dirty little bastard Peel off. Yeah.

Old Ian's fucking with their heads again. And then he wonders why we're a little bit screw loosers, Adam. Yeah, you are a bit screw loose. So the first person said, I made a PIXO website. I don't know what a PIXO website is. Jared, do you know what a PIXO website is? No, even he's like. He's got PIXO in his name.

PIXO website. PIXO website. It was a social networking and blogging website for teens in 2003. Oh. So it was like early social media. It looks scatterbrained. There's a string cap over it, and it's just like blah, but everything. Like a GeoCities look, crazy early internet thing.

I made a PIXO website when I was 12 to steal people's Habbo hotel logins. Now, this was a game online. Okay. Habbo hotel logins. And then I was a game online. Okay. Habbo hotel logins. And then I would go into their account and scam them. I probably, in the scheme of things, stole thousands of dollars. Wow.

As a kid? Like an online... As a kid. This is a good-looking person, too. They've got con person written all over there. Yeah, really. Pretty nice. Yeah, you'd be worth a bit in prison.

Just be careful. Yeah, you be careful. Yeah. You be careful. I'll eat you alive. Kind of, says this anonymous person. I got a big TV on higher purchase back in 2006, and they lost their copy of the paperwork

and asked me to send a copy of my paperwork. That's when you say you lost yours. I didn't send in the thing, and I never got charged for the TV. Oh, bonus. See, that's not bad. Free TV. That's opportunistic., that's not bad. Free TV. That's sort of, that's opportunistic

more than it is. That's an administration error in your favour. But a lot of crime is opportunistic, Hayley. Yeah, I know. You take the opportunity to rob someone.

Jaw's on the floor. Jaw is on the floor from Vaughan Smith. Kinda. This one starts kinda. So I'm like, oh, this is going to be a person with a half-assed story.

Kinda. I was a bar manager at a now-closed bar, and I used to take a few hundred each night from the night's takings. That's not fucking kinda, is it? That's straight-up theft of hundreds of dollars a night. Yeah, but they're imagining it's $200, whereas we ask, did you steal something big?

But they're not doing the math because over the course of a long time, that's a lot. I had to come up with a way to put through sales and keep count on my head so that when I would do the banking, it wouldn't look sus if somebody looked in on me. That's calculator. You are straight up stealing. This isn't just taking a little bit of opportunistic situation.

We're not judging. Does it say how much they got away with all up? No. Okay. But if they were a manager, that makes it feel like it's not just like a part time job. Yeah. That makes it feel like it's not just like a part-time job. Yeah. That makes it feel like you're at least four or five nights a week. What? You'd have to be so, like, good with maths.

Jesus. Because I'd be like, okay, that's like ten quick fuck jellies or jello shots. Yeah. Put that through. But then why is the alcohol not? Because they'd also measure alcohol in bars. Yeah. I'd be like, oh, Steve.

Why is that not going? I'd be like, oh, Tiffany dropped a bottle. Yeah. I've always wondered that about bars, if you're just pouring shots. No, I have a friend who works out the ordering and whatnot for bars. Right, water down the vodka. And it does, no, they don't do that, but they, not in New Zealand, but they, it's also got to do with like how much, how many they're selling they're selling and what's in the till. And if it doesn't match up again and again and again, they'll be like, someone's stealing.

I mean, if they get caught, you'll be done. They've got the cameras everywhere too. Yeah. No judgment. Next person. I've been stealing tools from my dickhead boss before I leave the job next year. The dumbass can't find things, always loses things, so goes and buys a new one without even trying to find the last one.

Just take him. I see it as my winter bonus. Yeah, good call. That's wild. Next one, I stole my nan's car. She blamed my uncle who actually thinks he did it. He was drunk and couldn't remember but it was me. Then what did you do with the car?

Did you keep it? Was you that drunk and you won't sell it? No, I mean they'd probably give it back at some stage, right? But took it without permission is stealing. Right. I was a storeroom manager at a supermarket. I did all the credits and would take home heaps of... Hold on. I did all the credits and would take heaps of shit home for my groceries.

Didn't buy groceries for an entire year. Whoa! But how do you get out of a supermarket or place that you work without being on the cameras? That's way over credits. So that must be like refunds, right? Maybe, yeah. So then he, people that bring things back,

this person's just taking. Is that right? Maybe. They must have had it figured out. But then, like, massive supermarkets, I'd imagine so much gets lost in the system. Oh, yeah. Just on sheer scale alone. Credits are the broken items.

Yes. Oh, so you'd be like, that's a broken jar. My noodles are smashed. Yeah. My ex was an arsehole, and when I moved out, I stole all his liquor, but left the cheap stuff, but added crushed laxatives to it all. You've got a double whammy there. Oh, my God. Wow, you've drugged them.

Taking the booze and making them shit their pants. The booze and the pooze. Pretty shitty. The booze pooze would certainly be a runny one.