ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 9th May 2024

Episode Date: May 8, 2024

*Explicit Content Warning* On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley dive (headfirst) into a Naughty Little Poll!Once again, This is NOT for young ears!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bitter Pod Great things are brewing at McCafe The perfect start to every day Fleshborn and Hayley's Naughty Little Poe Naughty Little Poe It is so Naughty, naughty, naughty

It's Naughty Little Poe Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Naughty Little Poe It'sy Little Pole. Naughty Little Pole. Naughty Little Pole. It's podcast only for a little bit of pod.

Fuck. Oh. Whoa, that's too naughty. I still thought we were being naughty. So I came out and said a big bad swear word. So we asked a bunch of naughty Little Pole questions on Instagram. Content warning. Content warning.

Content warning. Content warning. Content warning. Content warning. Content warning. There may be some naughty things talked about. Okay. Yeah. So not for small ears. Not for. The question that we're going to deal with today for today is naughty little poll.

Do you still give blowjobs in your relationship? Yes, no, or if no, when did it stop? What is the back story for why we ask this question? I don't know. I think we just always joke about like, once you're in a long-term relationship, we're not doing that anymore, are we? In the mouth?

You've got to be kidding me. Look, I won't say too much. Our friend Morgan, pen sexologist, would not be happy with this answer. She encourages the delight of a BJ, for sure. Do you still give blowjobs in your relationship? Oh, don't say blowjobs. It's weird when you say BJs.

Do we say BJs? Yeah. Do you still give fallacia? Yeah, fallacia. 68% So close. So close to being a BJ. Oh, for fuck's sake, someone else go on and vote.

68% of people said yes. 32% of people said no. 32% of people said no. And we said, if no, when did it stop? Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Okay. Good on you. Good that it's still in vogue. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Vaughn's choking on it. I'm choking on it. Amanda says, no, I don't. I stopped when I got pregnant. Poor husband husband And then Like the eyes Of Squiggle's face

Yeah yeah Okay Yeah I assume Or is the pregnancy still going Fair enough Yeah But when that's all done and dusted

Yeah right Were you never going back Well Apparently not Apparently you don't bother Once you tap out What are we Why are you going back

Do you still expect Yes Double standards Fucking woman eh Fucking woman Emily says I think I stopped About the same time

I realised I was a lesbian And the person I was in a relationship Didn't have a penis Yeah lesbians don't love Doing BJs But they would Go downtown

Go downtown Question If a lesbian's like Got a strap on On Jesus okay I don't know Yeah

If you've got kids in the room You're still listening We warned you We did warn you Do they do fellatio On that strap on No you don't No point

No one's feeling it No one's getting anything out of it And also you picked a term It could be like a little Take the strap-on? No, you don't. No point. No one's feeling it. No one's getting anything out of it. And also, you picked a term. It could be like a little... Take the strap-on off, lesbian. You picked. Right?

You picked, no dick. Hey. Are you saying lesbians aren't allowed... Wow, cancelled. Yes, they are. They're allowed dillies and stuff. Dillies, yes. Strap-ons, no.

Yeah, what's just a dilly that someone else puts on you? It's a harness. Are you feeling aggrieved? I feel aggrieved. They left you. They made a choice. They made a harness. Are you feeling aggrieved? They left you. They made a choice. They made a choice. So in your mind

lesbians must stick to scissoring and that's it? No fingers. Fine. Fingers fine and dildo shaped fingers fine

and fake hands fine. But that's all it is. They're just wearing it. Wow so you're not even letting lesbians have a dildo shaped like a penis. God no.

No. Wow. Why would they want one? Because being a lesbian is about more than just having dicks. They made a penis. But no. No? Why would they want one? Because being a lesbian is about more than just having dicks. They made a choice. They made a choice. Wow, okay.

You've come out quite strong here. And you are loved by lesbians. I don't think no more after this. The penis is a heinous. The penis is heinous. Put that on a motivational poster. Your Catholicism is leaking out.

The penis is heinous. You picked the leaking out. The penis is penis. This is your choice. You picked the lesbian life. You made the choice. Where would you want one? That's fucking disgusting. Tessa says, oopsie,

when was I supposed to start giving blowjobs? Well, that's fair if you've never been into them. Jeez. You can already give them if you enjoy giving them. Oh, this one won't load.

Some of these images won't load. Oh, no, we've got some image loading issues. Maybe I can try and load. It is the fourth. I can't even see it. The fourth.

Be with you. When was I supposed to start? Because it's yuck. Oh, no. It loaded. It loaded? Yeah. Stevie Queen.

Because it's yuck. No. She doesn't. Sophie said, stopped after a year, but it wasn't very often that I did anyway. Now, only if it's a birthday. BJ BJs. Oh, right. They're good gambling tools, BJs.

Go on. I had a friend. Is she going to hate this? Don't say her name. Just don't say her name. Schmershti. Yeah. Terrible. Terrible fake name. Schmirsty. Terrible.

Terrible fake name. Schmirsty. Because it's a long thing, but she wanted to be a marching girl, but it takes up so much fucking time. Yeah. And so her boyfriend was like, sure, but whenever you get home from training, I get a BJ. And she was like, deal.

That seems quite toxic. I bet. So we would always. He never got the BJ. And she was like, deal. That seems quite toxic. I bet. So we would always. He never got the BJ. Yes, he did. And every time we'd leave training, he'd be like, see you guys. Have a good week. Get on your schmershty.

And we'd know she was heading off. And she'd go home to do it. Yeah. Wow. She didn't mind giving them. It was just like a little. A trade-off. Trade-off.

Well, speaking of trade-offs, Nikki said, we use it as relationship currency. If it's my turn to do the bedtime routine for the kids, I can't be fucked doing that. I'll offer him a gobby if he does it. Also, if we're playing a board game, our winner gets a gobby. Gobbies! Far out.

Who's playing whatever game they play? Settlers of Catan. I love that the next one, Shannon has cropped out the name of the person. Okay. Because she does this when she doesn't want you cropped out the name of the person. Okay. Because she does this when she doesn't want you to read out the name of the person. No, I've got one more to go before I get to the name of the person. But yeah, Nicky's out there gambling with it.

Ali says, That was not information we needed That is not what we asked I thought she meant like Out of shape Like She had to pull the guts up To get to it

How bad was that? Pull the guts up Like push the guts up Because if both your hands Are holding the avalanche Of guts up above it It could be Quite hard to

Really You need to lean back on the bed, I reckon. Yeah, you've got to let gravity assist him. Maybe get one of those zero-gravity chairs that takes the weight off the back, and then when the guts are back, get in there. Those spinal chairs.

Let me tell you, that shit was not tasty. He's since increased his citrus... Don't slash fruit intake, and things have improved tenfold. Hence, we're back on for BJ's baby Shannon at the social media desk does say she hated

every minute of screenshotting these she said there's also more grim ones she hasn't even bothered sending to us because they're so grim send through the grim ones

no I would have said they're so grim that we can't even read them out could you summarise like how grim they were Shannon

like without saying like it made me feel really ill and also like I can still see Could you summarise how grim they were, Shannon, without saying... It made me feel really ill, and also I can still see the person's profile, so they would be talking about their husband, and I can see their kids as their profile picture, and it was too much. But no, don't do that, my husband's got a rank one.

There's some other questions we asked, and some of the answers were so repulsive, I could not look at these profiles the same. Oh wow. Okay. I love this. I love this. Juicy. Okay. Anonymous here. I was seeing a French guy last year and he never cleaned his dick.

Oh yeah. I never sucked his dick. I never sucked his dick and he told me Clip that for the promos. Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. I never sucked his dick And he told me Clip that Clip that for the promos Fletch Vaughn and Hayley I never sucked his dick He did a clean his dick I never sucked his dick And he told me

I needed to get over it Because smell and taste Is natural Neatness to say It didn't last I'm all for musk But that was a fromage shop Fuck

A cheese factory It was a cheese factory I came in bare dick I came in bare dick This is so fucking gross This is grim fucking gross. This is grim. Oh, that's grim.

Clean your dick. Yeah. Lisa, not the grumpy one. My boyfriend and I have been together for eight months. I've given him so many blowjobs I can't count, and he's only given me two. But he's given me two. So she's gone down on him countless times, and he's gone down on her twice.

I don't think you should be counting things in a relationship It's not a game You've got to get on board with the lingus guys Says the woman that won't suck a dick Get the fuck out of here I can pack your shit I've got a mortgage with the dude You've got a mortgage you don't need to suck his dick

Is that what you're saying? Aisha said I never did It's just not my thing. Yeah. Not for everybody. It's not for everyone. Also, should I be saying these names? Oh, that's fine, eh?

Because they didn't ask me to do this. And that's not like... Super. We're just first names. First names only. Yeah, first names. First names only. I would give him one every day, but he kept saying he never wanted them.

Sad face, red flag. That's from Kate. Yeah, some dudes aren't into them. I feel like it is a not... Maybe we should Beep the names Every day is too much What just in life Humbly speaking

Every day Who's got the time Yeah Okay You got lots of things On my plate Tess says After kids

The vomit reflex Got so much worse I just couldn't I just couldn't I can't Couldn't I can't I think people

For their honesty. Anna says, when he stopped giving it back, we just mutually agreed. Oh, yeah. Pulled the pin on the whole situation. Yeah, right. I get asked for a BJ like five times a day. Jesus Christ. We start sex with a BJ every time.

But not to completion. Not to completion. No, this is what we're, yeah. Not to completion. I don't mind. When I, okay. No, it's too much. Thank you. I don't mind the act, but I'm not

going all the way. Not the whole time. No, get a grip. Nobody has half an hour. Yeah, exactly. Half an hour. God, you've got terrible technique. Zoe said, only ever gave them to show I could do them well Now I'll only give If and when I get to receive

And return That's fair enough What you did is You showed them the returns You almost Ponzi-schemed them Didn't you? You showed them how great The returns would be

And then you cut them off And you said Only when we've run out of the bed We've been talking so long What are you googling? Blowjob techniques You've really taken that to heart The grapefruit

In an eight year relationship Probably haven't for at least two years Maybe again one day Says Anonymous Yeah there you go I feel naked without the music in the background Yeah I was just going to let it out I was just going to let it cold

But now it's just It's a lock I feel like everybody's looking When the music's playing It just feels like we're having fun But when there's no music It feels like everybody's looking. When the music's playing, it just feels like we're having fun. But when there's no music, it feels like everybody's looking. The music's back. Okay.

The music's back. Brilliant. Only a few more to go. When I got pregnant, the gag reflex left the building. Another one. And I'm still waiting for it to return two and a half years later. Is it left? She doesn't have one anymore.

I thought you could train it up. I've read. You can train it up. Yeah. I've also read. Well, this has caused some... I think we might have read the same book. Jess says...

Was it Gag Reflex? Yeah, Gag Reflex 101. Gag Reflex for dummies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The little black and yellow book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Perfect. Yeah, yeah.

I think I accidentally picked that one up when I was trying to learn how to propagate plants. Right, yeah. Whoopsie. Well, this has caused some tension, says Jess. It's probably stopped about five or six years in. We've been together for nine plus years. You just get in a groove with sex and you know what works to get the job done. No need for anything fancy.

Hashtag missionary is number one. No, no, no. Missionary is number one, but let's not say get the job done. We're going to enjoy it. Take your time. It's supposed to feel good. Predominantly. That's why we do it, right?

Yeah. Because it feels good. This is why we do it. Thank you for your responses. Thank you. A great naughty little poll. I loved it. A very interesting naughty little poll.