ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 9th November 2024

Episode Date: November 8, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Vaughan had a blood test!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fleshwood and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. And just a reminder, if you would like a shout out for our Christmas cocktail special, you've got until Monday the 4th of December. You can go to zmonline.com slash cocktail special. Excited to record those.

If you're a regular podcast listener or show listener, you'll know I'm on the hunt for the cause of my ball pain. Yes. A dull pain in the testicles, but sometimes moves around the area. It's not specifically all the time balls. And the doctors are quite puzzled, aren't they? There is some puzzlement.

Our friend Dr. Shawnee said he doesn't like this is a real, it's a hard one because it could be. I hate that though when you go searching, it's like my knee pain like this is a real, it's a hard one. Because it could be... I hate that though when you go searching. It's like my knee pain. It's not that, it's not that, it's not that. What is it? What is it? You know, that's a process of elimination.

Yeah. It's frustrating. Do you know what I'm thinking about going? Dr. Wynn. Dr. Wynn. I'm thinking of going back to Dr. Wynn. You reckon he'll do it? No, you don't want acupuncture in your balls.

No, no, no. I think he's going to be like, oh, no, it's not that. It's your back. And then he'll just jam a whole lot of want Acupuncture in your balls No no no I think he's gonna be like Oh no it's not that It's your back And then he'll just Jam a whole lot of needles in Slap you in the ass Pull my feet Whack my feet

Put some pins On the bottom of my feet Laugh at you When you start being like Stop stop stop Too much Ha ha ha He says

It's so fun That sounds great Yeah he's a good man I'm thinking about Popping back to him Yeah you should One of the things My mother

Every female in my life Teamed up on me. Shade, my wife, said, you've got to get a blood test. Her mother said, for God's sake, get back to that doctor and get a blood test. My mother was like, why haven't you had a blood test?

To see if there's any, you know. High this, low that. Yeah, exactly, in the old blood. Yeah. But didn't your doctor do that? No, because I did a urine test and it showed nothing. Oh, right, okay. And not even an STI, unfortunately.

Not one, not even just an easy one. Not even that. Not even the faint echoes of a bit of a clap. Oh, God. Nothing. Sort of a, you know, what is that, like a coming of age right? Yeah, what, at 42, I have to be married for 14 years and with someone between me and an STI?

It'd spark a conversation or two. You know what? It happens more than you can imagine. Yeah, I know. That's what they kept saying. They were like, oh, you know, we'll get this STI test. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sweet as it won't show up anything because we've been in there.

You'd be surprised the amount of times we hear that. You wouldn't even know. Generally, it's the woman who's saying that, though. Yeah. It's the woman in here being like, oh, no, that won't happen. We've been married for so long. And then it turns out he's been a dirty dog. But no sign of that. How long have you saying that, though. Yeah. It's the woman in here being like, oh, no, that won't happen. We've been married for so long. And then it turns out he's been a dirty dog. But no sign of that.

How long have you had SIF for? Yeah. And they called me back the other day about my blood test results because I got the blood test. Yeah. By the way, there was a sign in the blood-taking room where the phlebotomist worked.

In the phlebotomist. In the phlebotomy. I said, do you mind if I ask about this poster? Because it said something like be wary of the energy you bring into this room aggression and da da da won't be tolerated blah blah blah and i was like be wary of the energy you bring into this room i said i think it's if i ask about this poster and she's like go ahead and i said like is that just do people get angry at you and she said it's tempered off a little bit, but during the height of COVID.

Of course. And when COVID was constantly, she's like, people would be very aggressive because they're nervous and some people don't like needles, but they don't want to say, I'm scared. So of course, like we see in everything, transphobia, homophobia, anything that's a phobia directed at another human for something out of their control.

It's generally a fear that someone doesn't know how to say, I don't understand, I'm scared. What beautiful analysis there. So it comes out as anger, it comes out in terrible behavior, and she said people would get scared of the needles or all of the rhetoric that was going around in COVID that we were taking blood for untoward reasons. That's right.

She said people would be yelling at her, like, don't you dare put this in Jacinda's blood library. Are you just doing this to make sure that I've been... I've got to return some books to Jacinda's blood library. Do you? I just realised. Yeah, I've got some blood out. Yeah.

Blood bleeding by Jacinda and that sort of thing. If you were the phlebotomist, you'd be like, yes. Oh, no, we're certainly taking your blood, like the absolute, the top of the species. The absolute best of us. She said people were accused saying, I refuse to get the vaccine. You want to take my blood to make sure it's like leached into me through other people.

You're just testing. She said someone said that you're just taking blood to test if the microchips are in there. Like, she's like, it was sad. It was sad more than anything. And I said, that's so bad. She said, but then we're also located in between two drinking establishments. So people get nervous and they go and have half a dozen beers

before they come to get their blood test. No. And she said then they'd come in, of course, and then they got a skin full of piss and they'd be aggressive. And they'd be lippy. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah.

So I was like, I'm so sorry to hear that you had to go through any of that. That's insane. And she was good at taking blood. Like, you know when you get a good one and you don't even feel the needle go in. I like that. They had a squirter straight away. You filled up your three tubes or whatever. She's talking, you're distracted. Remember I had that time with two trainees and then I had squirter straight away. You filled up your three tubes or whatever. Just talking, you're distracted.

Remember I had that time with two trainees and then I had to get the other person? Oh God, I hate it when it goes badly. That wasn't a good day. I looked like a bloody junkie. I had like eight bloody stab wounds in my... Remember when Indy, my daughter was sick and she was so little and you had to hold her

and they were putting a needle on her and she was freaking out and they were like, you've got to have a person that's good at it when you're taking a kid in because everything's so tiny. Anyway, take the blood, send them away. Get a phone call. And I was like, oh, so what? And then she's going through the results.

And she's like, yeah, there's nothing. One of the big ones. What? One of the big ones. Oh, yeah. Uh-oh. What are you talking about? The diseases.

Yeah. I'm as clean as a whistle. Oh, fantastic. So she's like, there's no white blood cells. So there's no like, you know, that's one of the signs So she's like There's no white blood cells So there's no like Cancer That's one of the signs That cancer's in there

Is elevated white blood cells That's good Because you know Your head does think Saw balls You don't know You don't know What is it

And she's sort of Going through the list And she's like Liver and kidney function Is fantastic for a man Of your age Fuck off I know

Fuck you How I know How I don't know How Mine's always been clear And every time I'm like

That is outrageous How is this happening? Because of the moderate way In which we drink We drink in of course moderation Moderation So that's really how it works Oh congrats

Yeah okay But Oh there's a but Okay High cholesterol Oh here we go Wow High cholesterol

I'm like I beg pardon You better get on that margarine. That's exactly what my mum said. She said I told you margarine was good. With the green little bit. What's that called? Olivano.

Margarine. What a load of shit. There's a specific one, like flora or something that's made for high cholesterol. That's what my mum said when I was putting butter on something after I saw her. And she was like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Mr. Cholesterol. Is it because you eat so many eggs? You need to be thinking about this margarine. No, hey, hey, hey, Mr. Cholesterol. Is it because you eat so many eggs? You need to be thinking about this margarine.

No, it's all a load of shit. Flora Proactive. That was the margarine for heart health. You can eat butter. It's fine. So, yeah, I was like, I'll say, she's like, oh, we'll get someone to call you because there's people in the Department of Health that call you and give you hints and stuff. Advice.

Help you and advice. Please tell me it's more than switch to margarine. I'm waiting to see. Which is ultra processed, which you shouldn't be touching. I know, yeah. And so she said she's going to call you at this time. I was like, sweet as, and she's like, do you know about cholesterol?

I was like, no. And then she scrolled back and she's like, oh, you were marked in 2013 as having high cholesterol. Ten years ago. I was like, no one told me that. And she's like, well, you're not told at the time. I was like, no then she scrolled back And she's like Oh you were marked in 2013 As having high cholesterol 10 years ago No one told me that And she's like Were you not told at the time I was like no I've never like heard

That I have high cholesterol So for 11 years You've been rocking around With high cholesterol potentially Yeah And not really like Thinking about it Yeah not even

It didn't even cross my mind So Thinking whiskey She's like Whiskey apparently No problem I did ask Beer

FAQs I said Yeah right And she said Fatty meats Chicken skin Butter Cheeses I was like what

So all of my favourites Yeah Ha ha ha I said Yeah All of my favourites They don't find it funny They don't find it funny

This is serious Yeah this is serious stuff You were on the way to a stroke Or a heart attack Or whatever And so she said Do you want to go on the Medication for cholesterol?

I was like, oh no, no, no, this is definitely something I could take care of myself. Got off the phone, I was like, fuck that. I'm definitely getting that cholesterol medication. Why would you? What does it do? Helps get your cholesterol down. I talked to my mum

and she's like, you have got genetically you might be able genetically you might have perfect kidney and liver functions even though you drink too much because of your Irish and Scottish ancestry but cholesterol is a family problem got it all on all sides she's like your father's had it since he was young his father had high cholesterol, my father

had high cholesterol, everyone's got high cholesterol and mum said I used to have it and I've gone on the medication and now it's in the perfect range so why wouldn't you, said, I used to have it. I've gone on the medication and now it's in the perfect range. I was like, I'm just going to do it. So why wouldn't you? I mean, you've got to research those medications, but they've been around for donkey's years.

And every medication has a side effect. She said apparently the only side effect is achy joints. I already got that. I already got that. Oh, achy joints. That's not a great side effect, though. The joints ache. She said she hasn't noticed it,

but that was the one thing that they did say you could get. Have you ever been on a medication that, like, side effects may include dramatic weight loss, and you're like, oh, no. Oh, that sucks. Oh, no. What happened? Side effects may include wanting to go to bed early.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Side effects may include a fuller breast. Oh, no. Well, I don't really include a fuller breast. Oh no. Well, I don't really want a fuller breast. Good for you. I'll enjoy them from here. Yeah, man.

But I don't want them personally. Oh no. Someone look at across the desk. Oh no.